12th precinct, bullpen

Hey, Beckett.

What Castle?

I was wondering if you wanted to go to Remy's with me to grab a bite to eat before that hot bath and glass of wine you mentioned?

What about your plans with the beautiful younger woman?

How do you know I wasn't talking about you?

Were you? Did I just shoulder bump him in the middle of the precinct? What is with that way too girlie smile I just beamed at him? I hope the boys didn't see that.

Not at first. I was actually referring to Alexis but she won't be home from her internship with a certain M.E. for another hour or two.

I don't want to keep you from anything.

I wouldn't ask if I had something else to do. Besides, I think we have a few things to talk about.

Like what? Please don't say her name! Please don't say her name!

Kate, don't play dumb with me. I know how certain aspects of this case affected you.

I don't want to talk about her.

You can't even say her name.

Sophia, there I said it, isn't worth my time and she's dead anyway.

Yes, but she is a part of my past that obviously upsets you.

Okay, Castle. Let me grab my purse and then we can go get some food.

Remy's

Kate?

Do I really want to discuss this? No. Do I really want to know how much she meant to him? Big fat no. I know he slept with her. I owe him a chance to tell me his side of this story?

Huh?

Where did you go?

Oh, just thinking about something.

Do you want to share with the class?

I'm not sure if I have a right to ask. Here goes nothing. This is why I chose to sit across from him instead of squeezing in next to him. I need to see his eyes if/when he answers me. His eyes always give him away.

You know you can ask me anything, you know that.

What did you mean when you said it wasn't like what we have with her?

You mean besides the obvious elephant in the room?

Yes, I know we haven't done that you idiot! Except in a few of my better dreams!

Well it wasn't from a lack of effort on my part!

What?

Do you not remember that first case?

Yes, focus Castle. What did you mean when you said it wasn't like it is between us?

Sophia was beautiful and interesting. But Kate is beautiful, smart, sexy, tough, … I don't think I can run out of adjectives to describe the woman sitting across from me right now. I was physically attracted to her but I am in love with Kate.

Earth to Castle!

Oh, sorry. Did you just steal some of my fries?

Uh, yeah, mine were all gone. What were you thinking about?

I'll admit. I was infatuated with Sophia. She was CIA for crying out loud.

Is that why you always jump to that scenario first? You think back to the good old days with her?

No, it just would make things so much cooler, Right? They do have the coolest toys.

What is it with you and gadgets? I remember how you drooled over Jordan's smart boards during the Dunn case.

Anyway, focus Beckett. I think I got caught up in the "romance" of her job and the authenticity it could bring to the character. I'll admit, I did pursue her in a physical sense but I was really caught up in skirt chasing at the time. If not her it would have been someone else. I was a self-absorbed jackass back then.

And you aren't now?

Hey. I haven't been like that in a long time.

Did you love her? Please God, let him say no.

No.

That was an awful quick answer. I saw how you looked at her. There was definitely something there.

Kate.

She was your muse.

No! She inspired a character in a book. You inspired a series of books! There is no comparison.

Semantics.

Nice word!

I've picked up a few things in four years. I do spend a fair amount of time with a self-proclaimed wordsmith.

I am quite the wordsmith. Admit it!

How many other "inspirations" have you had?

I had many people inspire me throughout the course of writing all of those Derek Storm novels, but I have only had one muse. And that is most definitely you!

So there isn't a club I have to join or anything?

I told you there is no club. You are the only one I want to be inspired by and it's been true for a long time.

Are you sure that was all she was to you? Do you regret sleeping with her?

Where is this coming from Kate?

It's just something she said to me.

What did she say? Am I hurting her? My grip on her hand is suddenly so tight.

She said that you guys had this great physical attraction to each other and this "longing" but once you guys slept together… When did we start holding hands? Why is his grip so tight?

Once we slept together what? Loosen your grip, Rick, you are going to hurt her.

She said that the longing was gone and sometimes she regretted sleeping with you.

Are you afraid that would happen to us? That I would not want to be with you anymore once we've slept together?

What if it does? What if you get bored with me?

Never. I still have so many layers of the Beckett Onion to peel away. I couldn't walk away now. I never could walk away from you, even when you kicked me out.

There are so many layers. You have no idea how close I am to letting you do exactly that.

Do you remember LA?

Yes. How could I forget coming out of my room seconds too late?

Do you remember when I told you that I thought you were a mystery I would never solve?

Yes. Where are you going with this Castle?

I haven't figured you out yet and I don't know that I ever will. How could I get bored when there is still the mystery of Kate Beckett to solve?

What happens when you do?

Are you saying you might help me solve the best mystery of my life?

No, but I might drop a few clues every now and then.

Kate, are we going to be able to get past this whole Sophia thing? I don't want this to ruin what we are working towards.

I don't either.

Talk to me Kate. I can tell that there is something else you need to say.

It just stung a little finding out that you shadowed someone else before me.

That was a long time ago.

Still hurts though.

Were you jealous of Sophia?

Yes.

Weren't you jealous of Alex Conrad?

Yes. I admitted that to you then.

Yeah, but you knew he was picking my brain.

Oh, I see where this is going.

I didn't know about her.

But I set you up to help Alex.

Exactly. Would it have hurt you if I were someone else's muse and didn't tell you?

Point taken.

I just need a little time to wrap my mind around it.

How much time?

I don't know. It won't be like last summer. I'm not running away.

Okay. What can I do?

Having you close helps more than you know.

How close do you want me to be Detective?

Close. I could really use a hug right now but I'll settle for him still holding onto my hand.

I am only a phone call away, any time, anywhere.

I know you are and I don't know how to thank you for that.

Just let me in Kate.

I'm trying. I'm just not good at this kind of thing. Can we talk about something else?

Have you picked out a dress for your mom's scholarship dinner?

No, Lanie and I are supposed to go shopping tomorrow.

Do you have your speech written?

No, I just figured that I would speak from the heart.

You are going to just wing it?

Is that a problem?

You, Kate Beckett, are going to wing it?

Yes, why is that so funny?

You usually plan everything out to the smallest detail.

I don't want to get too emotional and stress out about it.

Well, if you decide to prepare something in advance. I'm offering to help.

Thanks.

Always.

Shouldn't you be getting home to Alexis?

Yeah, I guess so.

I'll get the check.

No way, I asked you out. I'm paying.

It's not a date.

Fine, you can get the check and I will pay for the cab!

Fine.

Cab

I need to show him that we are okay, that I am okay. I don't think telling him was enough. Maybe, if a scoot over closer to him and put my head on his shoulder he will know without me having to say a word.

Kate, can I walk you up when we get to your place?

Do you think that is a good idea?

What kind of question is that?

The last time you were at my place after dinner we fell asleep together. I can't wait until we can do that on a regular basis.

Is that a bad thing?

No, but you need to get home to your daughter, Rick.

Wow, I just noticed, that is the first time she called me Rick all evening. It had been Castle the whole time at Remy's like she was distancing herself again. Maybe she is okay, maybe we can move past this Sophia thing.

Are you afraid you won't want me to leave?

I'm not sure of much of anything right now. Do I want him to stay? Hell, yes I do.

Sorry.

It's not your fault I'm an insecure mess.

You aren't a mess Kate. Hot mess, maybe. You just have a lot on your mind.

I'm a mess.

I'm good at cleaning up messes.

I bet you are, but this is something I need to do on my own.

But you don't have to do it alone. I want to help. We all want to help.

I know. I really want to let you help me.

We're here and I am walking you to your door.

Okay, but you aren't coming in. You tell the driver to wait so you can go home.

Fine. I will be a perfect gentleman.

You are far from perfect! But I love you just the way you are.

Ouch! Gentleman than.

Okay, thanks for walking me to the door.

This is a bit awkward. Do I kiss him? Do I settle for just a hug or a handshake? Handshake. No way. I need more contact than a handshake. Play it safe Kate. Go for the hug.

Thanks for dinner. I'm glad you let me explain some of that stuff.

Should I kiss her? Would that be too much? How about the safe way, a hug? I know, a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

No problem.

Is it okay if I give you a friendly hug goodnight?

I…uh…okay. Did he read my mind about playing it safe? Oh, how I could get used to being in his arms. Did he just brush a kiss on my cheek? Should I turn my head so my lips meet his? Why do I have to be such a wreck? Just kiss the man, Kate! Soon.

Good night, Rick.

Good night, Kate.