A/N: I decided to delete all the old chapter as they were apparently confusing, and I will slowly update the new ones from now on. I hope this will work out a bit better. I also wanted to point out that I am always open to discussions and comments.
Thank you for reading! Chapter 11 – Mud-Slides
Lithien felt the feathers tickle her ear as she adjusted her aim. Her eyes followed the line of the arrow, focused despite the shadows dancing beneath the leaves. She released the string and her breath together – a well-practiced, soundless movement. The next thing she heard, was a soft thud of a body hitting the ground a hundred yards away from her.
She put the bow away and jumped, landing softly at the feet of a large tree she picked earlier as her observation point. Sun warmed her face as she made her way through the woods as if the winter approaching just outside the borders was nothing more than an illusion. The elleth knew better than to believe that, but it was nice to enjoy the weather while it lasted.
The deer she shot lay on the small clearing, where it was grazing a few minutes ago, their companions long gone. It fell where it stood and Lithien almost smiled, when she didn't spot any signs of struggle. Clean, painless kill, just as it should be. She broke the arrow off at the point, where it stuck out from the deer's side. Blocking the blood flow, before throwing the body over her shoulders with ease.
The hunt was much too short for her liking, but there was no way to prolong it anymore. With a sigh, she turned around and made her way back to the camp. Making herself scarce was the best way to avoid argument that was hanging in the air since she set foot back in the camp, but sadly it was only working for a short time. Galaren would always find a way to get his point across, especially when their stances were so wildly different. She was starting to wonder, if she was the only person her brother looked forward to arguing with.
Better her than some unsuspecting, poor fellow. Or so she thought most of the time, as she matched Galaren irritation word for word. Not so much right now, because she knew very well what the fall out of this particular 'discussion' will be.
She brushed the thought aside when she saw the white shapes of tents blinking between the trees. At least for a few minutes it took her brother to spot her. She knew it was him – only the captain's approach could silence the cheerful chatter so effectively. It seemed that he didn't even try to hide his own irritation. Lithien wondered what else made him act this way. It surely couldn't only be her.
She didn't look around when the shadow fell over her shoulder, still helping to hang the deer in a rack, so it could be properly skinned.
'My tent, now' was all Galaren said, before turning around and leaving.
He was all but asking for a biting remark to that.
Much to her surprise though, she still knew when to shut up.
'Right away' was all she said. She made sure that the leg she was tying up was properly secured before following her brother.
'Don't worry, it can't be that bad' someone yelled after her. 'You just came back!'
Lithien didn't turn around to check which of the guys was trying to be funny. She wasn't going to stay long enough to extract her petty revenge anyway.
Elladan was the first person she noticed upon entering the tent, probably because he was standing near the entrance, obviously pondering retreat. He was clearly irritated too and Lithien was sure, that she could guess the reason of the ellons squabble easily.
'Now Elladan, if you don't mind, I would like to speak with my sister in private' Galaren spoke before she was able to open her mouth and tell them to cut it out.
Elladan only sighed to himself and squeezed her shoulder gently, before stepping out of the tent. Lithien knew he was probably trying to advocate for her in front of her brother, but in light of the news they brought, whatever he had to say, fell on deaf ears.
That's why she was ready to simply avoid her brother until they will have to go back to Rivendell. As much as she knew, that it was a childish approach to the problem that ultimately helped no one. But she also didn't want to argue with Galaren now. She knew that he didn't mean it, but the older twin had only made avoiding the argument impossible.
'You are not going anywhere' Galaren announced once the tent-flap fell shut, not even looking up from the report he was holding. As if he was even reading it now. Lithien really hoped for a calm approach to the matter, but she felt irritation twisting her insides as soon as the words left his mouth. Galaren will probably realize it was the worst possible approach soon. Because now, she was going to leave with Elladan tomorrow.
If only to spite him.
'I thought that we were going to talk about it' she said, instead of every other thing that tried to find its way past her lips. Maybe if she would keep her cool, they won't blow this terribly out of proportion at the very least. She wanted to simply assist lord Elrond, not knock at the Black Gate itself.
The paper crinkled beneath his fingers and she knew that somehow, not yelling back was a bad choice. She had no idea what riled Glaren up so. Even with the threat of war looming over them it will be a while, before traveling to and from Rivendell will become much more dangerous than it usually was. And she had made that journey so many times that Galaren should know by now that she was capable to keep herself safe. Contrary to what he seemed to think about her, she wasn't seeking troubles.
Most of the time.
'And I was planning to do just that. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you've already made plans and neglected to inform the about them. Considering everything that happened, I do not approve of those plans. And, as your commanding officer, I do not give you permission to leave the camp again.'
For a moment, Lithien forgot what she wanted to say. Never since the day she became his subordinate, has he given her a direct order like that. Which means that she usually only faced his wrath when she went against his wishes. He sounded serious, but Lithien refused to believe, that he would actually punish her if she disobeyed him now. He was probably hoping that saying it like this will discourage her from accompanying Elladan on his way back.
It almost did. Because she had no idea what was pushing her into going back to Rivendell. Remaining in Lórien was the wise choice. The safe choice. It was a choice even Elladan had expected her to make.
It was a choice that ultimately forced her to stay on the sidelines and hope for the best, while others, her friends included, will be risking their lives in something that every sane person would describe as a suicide mission. She had no desire to go where they were going, but it didn't mean, she didn't want to try and help them as much as possible.
Maybe this was the reason, why it was sometimes so hard for them to find the middle ground in their arguments. Galaren, for all his bravery, had always been adamant about putting their safety first. A quality admired in the captain of the border patrol. Not so much in her brother, because his interest hardly ever extended beyond the borders they were protecting. And Lithien above all else, hated being idle. On top of being so blatantly forced to do that.
She already knew, that it wasn't the day when they'd find that common ground either.
Galaren raised his eyes from the paperwork to find his sister. He had expected many things, but certainly not Lithien going mute. Silence was probably the last thing he anticipated to get from her now.
But the quiet fury burning in her eyes was not something he'd expected either.
He knew that his sister was stubborn, but he had a lingering suspicion that he had underestimated her now.
'I do not need your permission to leave, captain' the elleth scoffed. 'I had left Rivendell with the task form lord Ellrond and I do intend to rely my findings back to him. I will return to my duties as soon as my mission is concluded…'
'Risking travelling from Rivendell alone…'
'It would be hardly the first time I would do that,' she cut him off swiftly. She knew where that argument was going. 'Your worry in that regard is absolutely unwarranted.'
There will be people undertaking a much more dangerous journey, she wanted to add, but she knew it would only annoy him further. Right now, he didn't really care about anyone else.
'I know that you probably don't understand that, but...'
'You are correct, I don't. I don't understand this deeply rooted desire of yours to risk your safety when you don't have any reason to do that.'
'For a second time today, I am not signing up for this impromptu trip to Mordor' she ignored the grimace of distaste that twisted his face. 'But I won't let you keep me behind, when there are still ways in which I can help, even if they are so small.'
Galaren shook his head.
'I wish, I could trust your words.'
Lithien flinched as if struck. She couldn't believe that Galaren would ever say something like this. And that he would mean it. She always thought, that, all differences aside, she had had his trust.
'But I cannot' the ellon continued, crossing his arms over his chest. 'Each time I've allowed you to act as you please, you ended up drawn into the affairs that weren't yours to deal with in the first place, and suffered because of it. I won't have it happening again.'
'Then you will have to force me to stay, because like I said, I still have something to do. And I won't be back until I'm done. Your reasons for wanting me to stay here are no better than the reason I have for going. Though mine, I dare say, are only a proof that I am capable of seeing further than the tip of my nose. You want to keep me in Lórien? You can certainly try. I am just not sure if you're ready to bear the consequences of doing so' she was surprised by her own, cool tone, even as she turned around to leave. She was barely stopping herself from screaming.
'Lithien, I'm not…!' Galaren called after her, but his sister brought the conversation to the end, leaving the tent without so much as a glance in his direction. Galaren look at the report he still held and sent the papers flying with a quick flick of his wrist, scattering the pages across the tent.
He had no idea why she had refused to acknowledge something, he could so clearly see.
Lithien spotted Elladan almost immediately.
'Pack your belongings' she said before his concerned expression could turn into an attempt to coerce her into listening to her brother. 'We're leaving with the first light.'
'Maybe…'
'Maybe you should stay quiet right now' she cut him off fully aware of how rude it sounded. 'I don't want to argue with anyone else today. Don't make me come to wake you up tomorrow' she added trying and failing to smile. He watched her retreating back unit she disappeared behind the tent. When he was sure she won't be coming back, he turned and dived back into Galaren's tent.
They were ready to depart early next day, even before the Sun truly raised. Lithien wasn't really surprised that there was no one there to try and stop them – she sometimes thought that she knew her brother better than he knew himself. He was angry yes, furious even, that she would so blatantly ignore his wishes, but he also knew that there was little he could really do about it. She would always do what she wanted to do, whether she had his blessing or no. Lithien was pretty sure that Galaren would come to the same conclusion once his anger will simmer down a little.
Despite the assurances she repeated to herself, the fact that he didn't come to see her off was more than a little upsetting. It hurt even more when she had to play it down for those few that actually came to wish her a safe travel. She was only glad that her comrades weren't interested in gossiping – what happened between the members of the patrol never made it out into the public and that adamant loyalty had taken them the long way.
She assured them that she will take care of herself and stay out of troubles as much as possible, before mounting Pílin and joining Elladan on the narrow path leading toward the border of Loth Lórien.
They barely made it out of the forest when it started to rain. For once, Lithien didn't mind it much. Her mood could hard get any worse at this point.
The rain accompanied them almost constantly as they travelled back. Because of that, and also because the very top of Caradhras was shrouded with heavy, dark clouds, Elladan decided against climbing the pass and checking if it will be passable for the Ring Bearer and his companions. By the time they will leave Rivendell the passage will surely be buried under the several feet of snow, which will most likely stay there well into the spring. Whether they liked it or no, the company will have to find another way of crossing the Misty Mountains. Without the proper guide there was no way they would be able to use the alternative route without getting lost.
But they could. And they gladly took it. It saved them a lot of time and they still have things to do before returning to Rivendell. It also meant that he wouldn't have to leave Lithien alone while he climbed the pass to check it. He never doubted her skills, but he also knew that it was always better to have some company. And he wouldn't have the heart to force her to accompany him. They both lost a lot on the Pass of Caradhras and that loss still hurt. And if his friend still refused to climb that mountain, it was her personal way of handling grief. He wasn't going to try and change her mind about it.
So far, they only managed to check the road the company was most likely to take, and they were glad to find nothing out of the ordinary. Their biggest concern seemed to be the occasional pack of orcs. But they rarely hunted during the day and as soon as the hobbit and his companions will cross the border of the woods, they will be safe. The wardens will make sure of that.
The rain didn't let up even after they passed the first passage and entered the forested valley between the mountains. If anything, the downpour grew even stronger, turning every slope into the muddy landslide.
Pílin slid down the narrow path, hooves hitting rocks as she scrambled to find her balance in the dirt again. Lithien was pondering dismounting to make the rest of the descent easier, when Gíl, Elladan's steed, passed her, curiously rider-less. A wide streak of mud on her side, marred the otherwise pristine, dappled-grey fur.
Lithien turned to look up the hill, both alarmed and baffled.
Only to be greeted by the sight of Elladan scrabbling for purchase with one hand, while wiping the mud off of his face with another.
She almost startled herself with her own laughter, the sound quickly drawn out by the constant patter of rain.
'Not a word' the ellon glowered at her after managing to straighten up. His cloak, tunic and trousers were all darkened by the layer of mud. As if being soaked to the bone by the relentless rain hadn't been enough. She put up her best effort to smooth out her expression.
'Not a single one' Lithien nodded, then grinned, failing to resist. 'Now…'
'You wouldn't…'
'Oh please, you know me' Lithien chuckled and swung off of the saddle. 'How can I possibly pass this up…?' the stone under her foot went loose and she slid down, her attempts to find the balance futile and landed heavily in the mud herself. So much for having clean clothes. Or dignity.
'What a graceful descent, my dear' Elladan snickered from above her, even as there was a hand extended toward her already.
'Oh, be quiet!' Lithien sneered, but without any real bite, allowing the ellon to pull her back onto her feet. She gripped his shoulder as she steadied herself, smearing mud into his sleeve.
She was gathered against Elladan's chest, before she even got a chance to step away, mud transferring easily from his tunic onto her bodice.
It was obvious no one will ever hear another word about such an unfortunate adventure.
It was well past night fall when they finally made it to the same cave in which she took shelter with the prince about three months ago. Apparently, no one has stopped here in the meantime – the wood in the corner was the same one she brought in before leaving. They went about setting up a camp in a companionable silence though she could feel Elladan's eyes on her as she moved around the cave, tending to the horses and rolling out their bedrolls.
She knew him too well to believe, that he could ever leave some things unaddressed. He was always treating her as a friend and over the years she became more of another sister to him. Lithien shared this sentiment, treating all children of Elrond as if they were her own siblings. And unlike Galaren, neither Elladan nor Elrohir ever tried to push her away from the path she took.
The thought made her wonder, whether or not Galaren was still furious with her, even if she knew the answer.
'Give him some time' Elladan said from behind her back, as if sensing her thoughts. 'He will come back to his right mind soon enough. And besides, can you really blame him? He only wants to protect you…'
'He seems inclined to neglect the fact, that I do not need to be protected' Lithien rummaged through her saddle bag, searching for a dry shirt.
Elladan clicked his tongue in exasperation. Lithien was, at times, as stubborn as she was brave.
'And you're not that much different, constantly forgetting that he's your brother' he raised his arm to silence her as she whipped around to refute him. 'An older one at that. He will always try to protect you, whether you accept it or not' the ellon stood up from the crackling fire, pulling his wet tunic over his head. 'Can you really blame him for that? Knowing what we know, him requesting you to stay in Lórien was quite reasonable.'
Lithien muttered something under her breath, as she unwrapped her soaked breast-band with a shudder. She detested getting wet. It didn't look like the weather was about to improve soon. Or that she might escape the unwanted conversation. Unless she wanted to sleep under the open sky.
She shook her head again. Odds weren't really working in her favor as of late.
'I did not quite catch that' there was an underlying amusement in Elladan's voice. 'Were you trying to explain to me why you chose to defy him this time?' he took a quick step to the side avoiding Lithien's bundled up shirt that was sent flying in his direction. 'Well?'
'Maybe facing your father wrath after you would fall prey to some stray pack of orcs isn't my favorite pass-time activity…' she secured a new breast-band and finally turned to face him, pulling on a fresh shirt.
'If you're planning to hide behind lying, you should definitely learn to do that better' the ellon countered. 'Who are you trying to trick right now? We're family. You know you can always be honest with me.'
Of course she knew that. It simply wasn't easy, when she herself had trouble with making out her own reasons. Lithien smiled, brushing past him to sit by the fire. She squeezed the water out of her hair staring into the flames.
Elladan sat across from her, slight smirk playing against his lips, waiting for her response. He knew that she won't deny it, simply because the argument she had with Galaren still weighted heavily on her mind.
'Laugh all you want, but I still have some unconcluded business with prince Legolas. You disturbed us rather rudely if you recall' she made a face, daring him to openly tease her. He simply nodded for her to continue. 'Then, there is everything I have learned during the council and later. You saw Galaren didn't you? I love my brother dearly, but I'm not sure if I am ready to just stand by at his behest and watch the events unfold.'
'Not even considering what happened the last time you meddled in the matters that did not concern you?'
'Meddled? I did no such thing' she slid her fingers through her hair, fixing her ruined braid. 'I regret nothing of what I did then and I have already paid for it. And this time, it is different. I can see it and I am sure that you can too. I just can't imagine staying home and acting like I have no idea what is going on in the outside world.'
Elladan was quiet for a moment, as if pondering something.
'So you want to join the hobbit?'
The question actually made her laugh. Did he really think that this was the reason why she decided to leave Lórien? Fine she had a certain penchant for doing things most people perceived at risky, but the quest of the Ring Bearer wasn't one of those things.
'No, not while I am in my right mind. I want nothing to do with the Ring and the sooner it will leave Rivendell the better. Besides I think there are others, more suitable to engage in such a task.'
'A pity,' Elladan unfolded the leaves wrapped around a few pieces of lembas and motioned for her to take one. 'You are smart, you know your way with a sword and enough about healing to at least keep someone alive until you find a real healer. And they would need people like you considering the places they are about to go to.'
'Flattery would usually take you a long way' the elleth smirked. 'But my conviction still stands' the elleth replied. 'I want nothing to do with this quest. There are surely other ways to make oneself useful.'
'Not even if one of us would go?'
'If it's an attempt to jest, it's not a good one' she said, her expression turning sour. 'Luckily this is not going to happen, because I can't really imagine Lord Elrond allowing any of his children to join this quest. He wouldn't even want me to go, I am sure of that.'
'We can't be sure until it is decided' the ellon concluded. 'But you are probably right… If not joining the quest than what would you want to do?'
'Not sitting with my arms crossed, while everyone else is risking their lives would be a good start. I will let you know as soon as I will find a better reason though' Lithien smirked. 'I am still not sure. I want to spend some more time with all of you; I hand not done that in a while. Maybe ran a few errands for your father, if that's something he wishes me to do. In the end I will probably return to Lórien. We still don't know how the events will unfold, but I wouldn't want Galaren to face them alone, no matter what he might think right now.'
'He only has your best interest in mind' Elladan ignored an annoyed huff that reached his ears. 'Take it from someone who had been in his position before. I just don't know, whether he will be more glad to see you join him, or furious that you returned alone despite him expressing, how much he didn't want you to do that?'
'One more thing I will worry about later. And I remember him saying that I can't go, not that I can't return alone.' she shrugged. 'But I am quite used to him being angry with me. It happens all the time.'
'Maybe it is finally the time to draw a lesson from that' Lithien made a face, an annoyed groan rumbling through her chest. Elladan only laughed, throwing the crumbs and the leaves into the fire.
He offered to take the first watch.
They left the cave the following morning to find the valley covered with the thin layer of crisp whiteness.
The snow crunched beneath their feet as they climbed the ancient stairs. At least all of the mud had frozen over during the night and, except of the places where the bare stones turned slippery, it was much easier to march today. The forest in the dell behind them looked clean and quiet. The cold didn't bother them much and they have managed to cross the traitorous path along the canyon without problems, reaching the second cave shortly after sunset.
Lithien tried not to think about her argument with Galaren, but it was difficult. She found herself wondering, if he really didn't trust her so much. He had never given her a reason to believe that before. She was also sure, that Rivendell will remain a safe place, as long as the Ring will be gone. She was safer than him, honestly, while staying with lord Elrond. And she wasn't comfortable with the idea. Maybe she was annoyed by Galaren's attempts to make sure that she is safe, but in all honesty, she was doing the same thing. Well, maybe she was trying to be a bit more subtle about it– which did not always work out in her favor.
The more she thought about it, the more she was sure that she will join him sooner rather than later.
In the end, Galaren was the last of her worries. She knew where he was and what kind of danger hovered over him. She knew that he will be backed up by their comrades and other wardens whenever necessary. There was nothing, at least for now, that he couldn't deal with.
She wondered, not for the first time, how much longer it will stay that way.
Over the centuries, she had seen her fair share of violence and heard the tales of so much more. The memory of the last battle she took part in has returned to her like a nightmare for many years, painful in its clarity. She was well acquainted by that time with killing orcs and other creatures, but the sight of elven and human bodies ripped into the bloody pieces – skewered with swords and spears or studded with arrows – was a lot to bear, even for her. She had only witnessed the death of her companions a handful of times before. It was exactly the same with the sheer number of wounded – their agony a slow, torturous process as those left standing were trying to save as many as possible. It was not an easy task and Lithien found herself delivering more than a few merciful kills to people, that were bleeding out for hours before she had found them.
The memory of that days stayed with her. Dulled by time perhaps, but the events had changed something in her, in a way that didn't let them be forgotten. She was under no impression, that the war was only the background for glorious deeds. A way for the hero to have his name remembered and get the prize promised for his effort. Fighting was what she had chosen to do – on her own and against other's objection. Against reason, perhaps. Even if there were times when she wondered, if there was any purpose in this, being able to stand up and protect those dear to her, was something that gave her the sense of accomplishment.
In the end she wouldn't trade her profession for anything else.
It was something she also largely enjoyed – a thing Galaren felt inclined to point out at any given time. No matter what he thought though, she would never seek the danger on purpose. She would face it, if she was forced to, or whenever she would decide, that there is no other way to do something, but she never saw herself as reckless.
If she was, Galaren words would probably hurt her less. And she wouldn't feel so unsettled now.
She stared at the fire, wrapped in a blanket. When she looked up and into the entrance of the cave, she could see snowflakes drifting lazily in the air.
'Do you think there will be a war?' her voice echoed gently in the cave, surprising her. She didn't mean to say that out loud.
'Maybe,' Elladan turned around in his bedroll to look at her from across the fire. 'We cannot be sure of anything yet…'
'You don't have to cheer me up like that' she glanced at him with a smile.
'I am not trying to' the ellon replied. 'But, we can both see how the things are unfolding. We have seen the Ring. But I think that we still have the time to worry about the worst. We still need to hear what the Rangers had found out…'
'And you're telling me that I am an overachiever…'
'What was that supposed to mean?' Elladan asked, poorly feigning offence.
'Playing envoy to lady Galadriel and meeting up with the Rangers?' Lithien teased, smirking.
'Unfortunately, Aragorn is otherwise occupied' the ellon retorted grinning back. 'And they know me better than probably any other elf. If I don't count you…'
'You know it's been a while since I last visited them. Many of the men I hunted with is probably dead right now.'
'And a lot of children you helped taking care of are now adults. I don't know if you are aware of that, but you leave impression on people.'
'Yes, I have heard that somewhere before… Go back to sleep. You still have few hours left.'
'Fine, but if you're going to keep watch solely to turn these things over in your head than maybe you should just lay down and get some rest.' Elladan rolled back onto his other side, head resting on his folded arm. 'Stop thinking so much about it; you're not going to change anything now.'
Lithien sighed, but didn't follow Elladan's advice, only wrapping the blanket tighter around herself. She didn't agree with him this time.
There was always something to be done.