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Chapter 11 – The D-Word

2 months later – One Year of Marriage

Walking through their front door, Sasuke and Hinata were both characteristically quiet. Despite the whirlwind of events that they had gone through during the past year, when they were around each other, Sasuke and Hinata tended to be quiet. Yet, this was okay – they were comfortable with that. They were comfortable with the silence, comfortable with the things that had been said and comfortable with the things that had been left unsaid.

The dinner they had just arrived from was, surprisingly, Sasuke's idea. Whether or not he wanted to admit it out loud, he cared for Hinata and he really wanted to show her how he felt by celebrating their one-year anniversary; Sasuke wasn't a man of many words so he often spoke through his actions. Hinata had very willingly agreed. Over the past two months, her relationship with Sasuke seemed to be moving into a good place. Once or twice a week, Sasuke would go to Hinata's cabin (he longed to visit her more often but he wanted to be respectful of her space). While he was there, Hinata would take the opportunity to talk for hours about whatever came to her mind, whether it was mindless town gossip she had heard from Shino or political happenings in the villages around them. Of course, when they weren't talking, they were greatly enjoying each other's company. These times often resulted in some form of intimacy – there were kisses, caresses and a couple romps in the bed to relieve the sexual tension between them.

Even with these close times together, it wasn't those moments that made Hinata start to believe that things could work. Rather, the moments after the kisses and the touches and the sex are what started to change her mind. In these moments, Sasuke would talk to her. When he spoke, it wasn't mindless babble. He would discuss deep issues with Hinata such as his family, his friendship with Naruto and other things he hadn't told a soul. Whenever he spoke, Hinata felt truly important to Sasuke. Her body radiated with happiness every time these moments occurred because she knew that Sasuke trusted her intensely. Anything he shared with her she cherished – his words were beautiful and the thoughts he had proved that his mind was beautiful as well. In these moments, Hinata was truly in awe of Sasuke. Despite the happiness and wonder, there was something that she couldn't help but notice – he still couldn't say 'I love you' to her. Any time she would say it to him or mention it in any way, shape, or form, he would deflect her question in one way or another.

Interestingly enough, there were one or two times that Sasuke slipped up and told Hinata he loved her in one way or another. However, once he realized what he had done, he quickly covered it up and denied he ever said those words. Sasuke denying what he said hurt Hinata but she made herself get over it. After all, there was no way that Sasuke didn't love her - his actions said it so overtly. So when Sasuke asked to take her out to dinner, she hoped that he would finally get over his fear of saying these words to her.

The night before the dinner, Sasuke asked Hinata to stay in the house and she agreed, mainly because she was getting tired of the solitary lifestyle she was living while staying in the cabin. When it was time for bed, Hinata went into the master bedroom while Sasuke retreated straight into the spare bedroom. Even though Sasuke had been sleeping in the master while Hinata was gone, he knew that he would have to go back to the spare room when she stayed over. He desperately wanted to sleep beside her but didn't want to pressure her to do something she didn't want to do. Meanwhile, Hinata was surprised that Sasuke didn't ask to sleep in the same room as her. Saddened by the fact that cuddles and kisses didn't seem to be in her future tonight, she quickly got into the covers of the big bed and tried to go to sleep. Hinata tossed and turned in her bed for an hour before she decided to take matters into her own hands. Grabbing a pillow with her, Hinata made her way to the spare bedroom, opening the door slowly so she wouldn't disturb Sasuke's sleeping. Before she could start to sneak her way to his bed, Hinata caught Sasuke's dark eyes staring at her.

"Hinata, what are you doing here?" he said quietly, looking at her silhouette in the doorway. He was still awake as he was having trouble sleeping for the same reasons his wife couldn't sleep. Hinata smiled shyly, looking down at her feet. "I'm cold," she responded. "Could I stay with you?" Sasuke hesitated, not because he didn't want to share a bed with Hinata again, but because he wasn't sure what to say to her. "If not, I could always get another b-blanket," she said softly. Hinata took his silence as a rejection but Sasuke's voice quickly stopped her from leaving. "No, come. You can sleep here tonight." Hinata happily accepted and quickly got into bed with him. She snuggled into his chest and wrapped her arms around him, trying to get every bit of heat she could from him. Sasuke caressed her back while she did this, wincing a bit as he felt her icy cold hands and feet touch his body. Even though she was cold, he didn't really mind - as long as she was happy, he was happy.

"So where are you taking me out to dinner tomorrow night?" she asked. "It's a surprise," he responded back softly.

"Can you give me a hint?" Sasuke let out a rare chuckle. "No, I can't. But you'll like it, I promise." "Okay," she responded. He and Hinata lied together quietly for 10 minutes, not saying a word. Hinata's breathing finally starte to slow down and Sasuke knew that she was falling asleep. Giving her hand a soft squeeze, he kissed her forehead before wrapping his arms tightly around her body once more.

"Sasuke?" she mumbled, almost completely asleep.

"Yes Hinata?"

"I love you."

Sasuke turned to Hinata and looked at her. He wasn't exactly sure if he heard her correctly. "What did you say?"

"Really?" Hinata let out a yawn. "You heard me. Or do you want me to say it again?"

He let out a sigh, knowing very well that he had heard her all along. Even hearing her sweet voice confess her love for him couldn't bring Sasuke to say it back. "No…it's okay. I think I heard you. Go to sleep." Sasuke kissed Hinata on the forehead once more and she let out a sad sigh before falling asleep.

The next night, Sasuke came home from a quick training session to find Hinata already read for dinner. She was wearing a lacy red dress that went down to her knees and strappy black heels that were just the right height. Her hair was slick and straight, reaching down her back. She completed the look with a sweet smile on her face. "Sasuke, hurry up! I'm hungry!"

Sasuke couldn't help but to just stare at her for a couple minutes, all of which made Hinata feel self-conscious. "What is it?" she asked. "Why are you staring at me?" Sasuke slowly walked up to her, rested his hands on her waist and kissed her on the lips. "You're beautiful." Hinata couldn't help but blush at his comment. "T-thank you Sasuke. Now hurry up." She smiled and pushed him down the hallway.

Sasuke smirked and complied, hurrying into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Once he was done, he scurried off into the bedroom where he put on a nice polo shirt and jeans. Spritzing on some cologne, he dashed out of the bedroom and met Hinata back in the living room. "How do I look?" he asked her. Hinata just giggled. "Well, you look handsome," she started. "But your hair is still wet." Sasuke frowned but Hinata gave him a kiss on the cheek to rectify that.

Finally ready, the two of them headed into town. Sasuke lead them to a newly opened restaurant in the main part of town. "I've never seen this place before," Hinata said as they walked up to the entrance. "Maybe you should pay more attention when walking around," Sasuke teased. Hinata was a bit worried when she saw the line that was going out the door of the restaurant but Sasuke ushered both of them through the door, disregarding those who gave them rude stares as they made their way through. When the maître d' saw them come through the doorway, he quickly took them to a table that was already prepared for them. Once seated, the maître d' handed Hinata a red rose, which made her smile. "Thank you!" she said happily. "Anything for the lady," he said politely before running off to help with other things in the restaurant.

Hinata then turned her attention to Sasuke. "Sasuke, how did you manage to get us in here?" He flashed his famous smirk before responding. "I have my ways." Putting her rose down, Hinata started to scour the menu. When she saw the prices, she put the menu down and looked at her husband. "Sasuke, this place is too expensive. I don't deserve all of this," she said softly.

"Yes, you do," he said, reaching across the table to grab her hands. "Don't worry about the prices. Just get anything you want okay?"

"Are you sure Sasuke?"

"Yes I'm sure. You said you were hungry didn't you?" Hinata giggled and responded. "Yes, yes I definitely did"

The meal they shared that night was heavenly and the conversation they had with each other was amazing. Hinata hadn't felt this good with Sasuke in…well since the beginning of their marriage. Tonight, everything seemed to be going right and she was certain that Sasuke felt it too. When Hinata finished with her dessert (Sasuke had never been a fan of sweets), Hinata looked into Sasuke's eyes. "Sasuke, thank you for taking me out tonight. This place is amazing! I never thought you would do this for me."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Do I really come off as such a horrible person?"

"No, no, no!" Hinata was quick to say. "Well…maybe just a little. You're just hard to connect with because you have a lot of walls built up."

"I don't think I have a lot of walls built up"

"You do. But that's okay because I feel as if we've gotten closer over the past year."

"Wow, it's been a year already? I didn't even know that," Sasuke responded with a hint of surprise in his voice.

Hinata's face fell. "You really don't remember that today's our anniversary?" she asked sadly.

Sasuke looked at her. "Hinata, of course I remember. I was just joking with you. That's why I brought us to dinner – to celebrate our year together."

"Oh, okay," Hinata said with an embarrassed smile. "It's hard to tell when you're joking; you don't joke around a lot."

"I know. I have to leave you with some surprises don't I?" Sasuke said with a smirk. "It's been a really interesting year hasn't it?"

"Yes, yes it has. But we got through it together," she responded, taking Sasuke's hands from across the table. "You know, I'm thinking about moving back to our house."

"Ah, did Shino's bugs finally get to you?" Hinata rolled her eyes. "Stop being silly Sasuke. I'm being serious. I miss our house...but most of all, I miss you."

Sasuke stayed silent when she said this. Instead of responding, Sasuke just stared back into Hinata's beautiful eyes.

"I-I know that we've had a lot of issues Sasuke but tonight…after tonight, I think we're finally past all of that. Wouldn't you agree?"

Sasuke gave Hinata a half nod in agreement. Part of him was wondering where she was going with this and the other part of him hoped that she wouldn't say what he thought she was going to say.

"Sasuke?"

"Yes Hinata?" Please don't say it. Just let it be, he thought to himself. He didn't want to deal with this situation at all. This topic always made him uncomfortable and the fact it made him uncomfortable made him feel bad because he knew Hinata was getting hurt in the process.

"I love you," she said with a smile. "I love you so much. I know I've said it before but I want to say it all the time. I just hold back because I think it freaks you out when I say such things. But I don't care anymore. I love you Sasuke, I really do."

Sasuke didn't say anything. Hinata felt his hands retreat from her grip and immediately, she got worried. "A-and I know you love me too. Right? Because you wouldn't have done all of this if you didn't love me…right?"

Silence from Sasuke once more.

"And you wouldn't come visit me when we weren't living together if you didn't love me right?"

Sasuke looked away from her, knowing that if he were to look at her face right now, his heart wouldn't be able to stand it.

"And you wouldn't make love to me all of those times if you really didn't love me…right?"

With every question, Hinata's voice got more and more frantic. "Damn it Sasuke! Answer me - do you love me?" Her question was loud enough to get a couple stares from people in the restaurant but she didn't care.

"Hinata…I…look you know how I feel," Sasuke finally said, knowing he had to say something before she completely went off the walls.

"Yes, but I want you to say it," she said. She sighed and tilted her head up for a moment as she felt tears coming. When she composed herself, she couldn't look at Sasuke.

"Why won't you say it?" Hinata waited for an answer she most likely knew she wasn't going to get. When she didn't get a response, she got up from the table and left. Sasuke paid for the meal and said thanks to the maître d' before following her out of the door.

"Hinata wait!" he called out to her when they were on a quiet road. Ever the private person, Sasuke didn't want to start talking about their issues where everyone could hear them.

"Sasuke, that's what I've been doing for the past nine months," Hinata responded, turning to face him. "I was a horrible wife during our first three months together, I know that. I was still in love with Naruto and I'm sorry for that. I really am. But I've tried to make up for my mistakes. I've given you space when you needed it but I was also always there for you when you needed it."

"Hinata I –"

"And I'm not sure what else I can do. I can't help but think this is somehow my fault. Maybe if I hadn't done what I did when we first got married, maybe you'd be able to say those words to me. Maybe if I had not been such a crybaby. Maybe if I – "

Sasuke stopped her from talking by embracing her. A torrent of sobs started to come out from Hinata but she quickly stopped. She was tired of crying, especially in front of Sasuke.

"Hinata, nothing you did was wrong okay? If anything, I was the horrible one. I'm so moody and brash that it's hard for me to get close to anyone." He took Hinata's hands into his and looked at her.

"Hinata, you know how I feel about you. You're more important to me than anything else in the world."

"Then why can't you say it? Why can't you tell me you love me?"

"I…I just can't."

Hinata pulled away from Sasuke's hands and walked the rest of the way home in silence. When they walked through their front door, they were both characteristically quiet. The events of the night had left them with nothing and everything to say, but nowhere to begin. Hinata started to walk to the bedroom while Sasuke sat in the living room. She paused in the hallway for a minute before turning around to tell Sasuke one last thing.

"Sasuke…I-I want a divorce. And I'm serious this time. I know that you don't want us to get divorced because of how it'll look in front of everyone but I…I can't do this anymore. I want someone to tell I love you to every night without worrying whether or not they love me back at all. And yes, you say I know how you feel about me but how can I really know if you're not able to say those words to me? I've tried to not let it bother me but I can't. It bothers me so much and I really wish it didn't. I know this is just a jumble of words but I really mean it. I want a divorce."

"Okay." Sasuke sat with his head hanging down in defeat. He couldn't keep Hinata from obtaining true happiness anymore. He knew he had to let her go. After all, he couldn't give her the one thing she truly wanted.

"Okay?" Hinata was expecting a fight and the fact she wasn't getting any resistance surprised her.

"Yeah. Okay."

Hinata sighed. "Okay then."

So I'm suspecting some of you hate me right now and believe me, I'm not happy with this either. It's looking like Sasuke and Hinata are officially over :'( It's so sad isn't it? But, there's still 1 more chapter left and I have no idea what the future holds for them so for those Sasuke & Hinata shippers out there, don't give up hope yet! It's not over until it's over. I'm not sure when I'll post the last chapter but I get out of school in about 4 weeks so I should have a little bit of time before I travel in May to publish the ending to the story. As always, let me know what you thought of the chapter in the reviews. Thank you all for reading! ~lovelyangelxox

P.S. Raging 101 - Sorry that I haven't been updating quickly enough for you! I update whenever I can but it's kinda hard to do it often because I'm busy with classwork. I know that this isn't much of a consolation but my story is almost over, meaning that you don't have to wait much longer anymore! I hope you keep on reading and thanks for your review! :)