A/N – Christmas Break is boring me right now, so I'm going to update again. Jeez, two times in one day, I think this is a record for me! (:

I hope you all have a Happy Holidays! And thank you for your reviews. (:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Zoey101. I think it would have ended better if I did.

Chapter Eleven:

A month later and it's still getting colder. This is one of the coldest winters California has seen in a while. Everyone at PCA is in jeans, long sleeved shirts, winter coats, and boots.

It's been a long month for Logan. He still spends time with Lola, but only because he really has no choice. On the outside he's still the same. A cocky, not caring, self obsessed son of a bitch; the inside is a totally different story. He's sad and mad all at the same time. Sad because he lost Dana, but mad because she wouldn't even let him explain. There isn't anything he can do about it now. She's not giving him another chance.

For Dana the month has been good, or so it seems. She's friend with her girls again and she's friends with Chase and Michael again, too. She moved back in with Zoey and Nicole, and Lola moved out. Her and Quinn are still close, but she was happy to have her own room again. She just can't help but feel like something is missing. She knows what that something is, or shall I say someone, but she isn't willing to admit it. To herself or anyone else.

Dana was awoken at 7:30 in the morning by a high pitched scream. She rolled over growling at whoever was interrupting her sleep, and saw Nicole crumpled up in a ball on the floor. She sat up slowly on her bottom bunk, and then started laughing hysterically. Zoey on the other hand was down on the floor making sure Nicole was okay.

"Zoe she's fine, she does this all the time." Dana reminded after she had calmed down.

"I know but I don't want her to get hurt. Nicole, are you alright?" She asked again.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Dana you laughed at me! Again!" Nicole said pointedly looking at said girl.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just can't help it. When I see you laying on the floor in a ball I know what happened and it makes me laugh. Sue me." Dana had kept her mean side, but she could be nice, on occasion, like Nicole said.

After that little fiasco everyone went on with their morning routines. Dana was so happy school was only in session for the rest of this week, then she could relax. A break would be wonderful.

In the boys dorms things were about the same as in the girls, minus the falling off the bed part. They were just getting ready for the day to start. Logan wondered what Dana was up to as he did his hair, but then shook her out of his mind. He was trying not to think about her, but all that seemed to do was make him think about her more. Logan sighed when his hair was complete knowing he only had to endure one more week of school, but even over the holidays, he was stuck here.

Just like every morning, Dana, Zoey and Nicole made their way over to the boys room before school. Usually Logan is already gone, they expect today to be no different, so when they knock and he opens the door, everyone is shocked. They all mask the shock as the girls step into the room, and Logan closes the door, still not leaving. Instead, he sits back down at the computer and does whatever he was doing before they showed up.

Dana would never let it show, nor would she admit it, but she's nervous. She's avoided Logan like the plague since everything happened with them, and now she was stuck in a room with him. Of course he was still in her classes, and they still had to sit with each other, but at least there she could ignore him and have a reason.

Logan wanted to start a conversation so it wasn't so awkward, but he didn't want one of them to bite his head off. Then he noticed what Dana was wearing. His jacket. He smiled slightly, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she would give him another shot. If only she would listen to what he had to say.

"So, where are Chase and Michael?" Zoey asked looking at Logan.

"Getting ready. So, probably in the bathroom." He answered not looking at her.

"You actually finished getting ready before them, Reese?" Dana asked, mockingly. He spun in the chair.

"Just because I look sexy everyday doesn't mean I always have to take 400 hours to get ready." He answered snippily. Dana rolled her eyes.

"So, did anyone think that math assignment was the hardest thing ever? I thought it was so hard." Nicole was trying to ease the tension in the room.

"Nicole, it wasn't that hard." Dana stated matter of factly.

"Yes, it was! I spent almost all night on that thing!" Nicole yelled. And then Chase and Michael entered.

"Who spent all night on what now?" Michael asked.

"Nevermind, nothing. Let's just go." Zoey said as she pulled them out of the room.

Logan sighed after the door closed, he decided he just wasn't going to school today.

After first period, which is math, Dana started to wonder where Logan was. She couldn't help it, he had been fine when they were in his dorm earlier, why wasn't he at school? She shrugged it off, but was still curious.

Lunch time rolled around and Logan, deciding he was hungry, headed towards the Caf. Upon entering, he wanted to head back to his room, but his stomach was not agreeing with him. So he got in line behind the curly haired girl.

Dana turned around to see who was behind her, seeing who it was she rolled her eyes and turned back to the front.

"Where have you been all day, pretty boy?" Well, she is curious.

"What?" Logan seemingly didn't hear her. She turned.

"I said, where have you been all day?"

"In my dorm. What's it to you?" He asked back.

"Nothing. You just seemed fine this morning, and then you weren't in class." She shrugged.

"How do you know I was fine? Still in love with me?" He wondered smirking.

"I told you, I haven't been in love with you in three years. And I know you were fine cause you were acting like the pig headed jerk you always are." She countered.

"Oh, you aren't in love with me? Why do you have my jacket on then, Cruz?" Dana looked down at herself.

"I didn't even realize it was yours. Come to the girls lounge later and you can have it back." With those final words Dana walked out of the line and over to her friends, who immediately asked what that was about.

Logan sighed sadly; his last piece of hope had just been severed. Suddenly, he wasn't so hungry anymore, so instead of eating he just went back to his dorm, laid down and slept.

After school that day Dana decided that instead of him coming to the girls lounge, she would just leave his jacket outside his door. She also made a spur of the moment decision, she's going to give him the letter she wrote. As bad as it may seem, she wants nothing more than to hurt him right now, and somehow she knows that letter will do just what she wanted. She folded the letter put it in an envelope and then added a short note to it's end, and she left it on top of his folded jacket, outside his door.

When Logan woke up, he stepped outside his door to go to the bathroom, and ended up stepping on something soft. Looking down he saw his sweat shirt and an envelope. After picking it up he re entered his room, deciding to wait on the bathroom. He threw the jacket on the couch and ripped open the letter.

Hey Reese.

It's been a long time. I'm not writing this to catch up with you though. No, I'm writing this to tell you that I hate you. You broke my heart Reese. I waited by my phone every night, for months, after I left, and no call. I know we always acted like we hated each other, but I never actually thought you were serious. I know I wasn't. That last night before I left we fought and you told me you hated me, and that you hoped I never came home, I thought it was just your way of telling me you didn't want to miss me, but you would. I guess I thought wrong, huh? All you would have had to do was simply say 'stay, Dana', and I would've ripped up my ticket and stayed. But you didn't, so I left.

Two weeks before that, you told me you loved me. And I said it back. That was stupid of me. I should've known I was just another one of your stupid flings. I guess I really was stupid. You left my heart out to shrivel up and stop beating, while I tried, as hard as I could, to hold on to yours.

I picture you smirking, and saying that you agree, I am stupid.

But, I don't care. I need to get this out. I remember the dance when I broke your toe, you were always so cocky and arrogant with your, "wanna make out?", no I didn't want to make out. Only in all honesty I did. I always did, that's why I had to say no, I didn't want to be another girl that cried herself to sleep over you.

And then, you told me you loved me. I fell for it. And now I cry myself to sleep every night over you, Logan. It's crazy, right? Me, the person who never liked you, fall in love with you? Well, I did and you tore me apart.

I don't plan on you ever finding out how badly you truly hurt me. I don't want you to know that you didn't just break my heart, you took it threw it on the ground, and ran it over with a truck. Over and over again. You'll never know that.

You're not getting this letter. I wrote it so I could pretend you know how bad I hurt, and maybe push some of that hurt onto you. I hope you hurt too, I truly hope you do.

The worst part about that fight the night before I left, was when you called me a slut, and said I would sleep with anything that came my way in France. I hated that you could say something like that. I hate this crying thing, it's so not me. But I do it all the time now.

I hate you, Logan, for making me love you.

Dana.

P.S. – I guess some of this wasn't true, cause I did give it to you. Oh, and just so you know, I don't cry over you anymore. I feel pathetic because I use to.

P.P.S – I didn't want you to come anywhere near my dorm, or where I hang out, so I just figured I'd leave it where you'd find it.

Logan had not expected something like that. He tried to stop reading it on multiple occasions, but something wouldn't let him. Now he knew how she felt, and he felt like an even bigger asshole than before. But, instead of still being sad, now he was full of pure rage.

Dana, Zoey, Nicole, Chase, and Michael were sitting in the girls lounge watching TV and talking when Zoey noticed something off with Dana.

"D, something wrong?" She wondered.

"No, I'm fine." Dana answered not really paying attention. She kind of regretted leaving that letter, but knew he had read it by now.

"Are you sure? You don't seem fine. Does she seem fine to you guys? She doesn't seem fine to me." Rambler.

"It's just, I wrote this letter when I was in France, and it was to Logan, and I swore I'd never give it to him, but I did. That black jacket? That was his, and I forgot. So, I gave it back today after school, and I left the letter with it…" Dana couldn't believe she just told them that, but oh well, too late to take it back now.

"Was it like a love letter?" Chase asked.

"No, not really. It was more of a 'I hate you for making me love you' letter. Like, I said I hope that he was hurt about what he did to me a long time ago, and things like that." Dana said.

Logan wasn't going to do anything drastic. He wanted to, but for now he was going to try telling her his feelings in a letter. But, he was drawing a blank. He will keep trying though.

After everyone had processed what Dana said, Michael spoke.

"What happened between you two? If you don't mind my asking." He looked slightly frightened.

"Um, I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'll tell you." Dana then took a deep breath and started again. "Okay, so after that dance, the one where we got paired up, we had been talking and he was just randomly like I love you. I got a look on my face that was, like, telling him he was losing his mind. And he shook his head and repeated it. And then I said Logan, I think you're delusional, we hate each other. But all he said after that was that he didn't actually hate me, he loves me. I just kind of brushed it off at first, and we kept walking around like nothing happened. But, then he stopped, so I stopped, and he kissed me. It wasn't like a long kiss just one that said what he was trying to tell me. Then he pulled back and said I love you, again." Dana was cut off by the sound of a loud aw from Zoey and Nicole. She rolled her eyes and continued. "And I could feel that he did, you know? So, I said it back." She paused like she was having a flash back, and a small smile formed on her face. "And after that he was sweet to me and stuff, but we decided to keep it a secret. I think that should have been my first clue. But, I was happy. About a week later I got the letter that accepted me to the Exchange Program and I was scared to tell him. So, I waited. I told him three days before I left, and at first he said we would keep going out, no matter what. But, the last night before I left he changed his mind." She stopped like she wasn't going to say anything else.

"What happened next, D? Jeez." Michael was now very interested.

"Well, I was looking for him cause I wanted to spend some time with him before I left. I found him sitting on the beach alone, so I sat next to him, and then he told me to just go away. I looked at him all confused, and he said, as calm as can be, that he hated me and hoped I never came home, but I just took that as Logan being Logan, and I figured he was saying that because he would miss me. But, I fought back anyway. I stood up and asked why he was being such a jerk, and he said 'because you aren't really important to me, God I can't believe you actually thought I loved you.' By then he was standing too, looking me right in the eye." This is where everyone mumbled what a jerk, and she kept going. "I asked why he would say something so important if he didn't mean it. He told me it was because he knew I'd fall for it, and all he had wanted was to get in my pants. He said that I was nothing but a slut and that I would fuck anything that came my way in France. And then he walked away from me. The funny thing about it was, all he would have had to do was ask me to stay and I would have." Dana concluded and looked around. Nicole was crying silently, Chase and Michael looked shocked, and Zoey looked down right pissed.

"And he had the audacity to be rude to you your first night back?" Zoey demanded.

"Zoe, that's just him. Don't waste your time and energy being mad at him, look where it got me." Dana said softly. "Besides he used to have this sparkle in his…" She was cut off by the door banging open, and a very livid looking Logan storming in. He saw her and made a bee line right for her. Dana stood not liking the look on his face.

"I don't fucking believe you!" He screamed at her waving her letter around. I guess writing didn't get him very far. Dana stayed calm.

"Please don't do this here. I'm not up for another detention." She pleaded with him.

"I don't give a fuck what you're not up for! I wasn't up for this, but I had to deal with it didn't I?" Logan just keeps screaming.

"Logan, please… Come on, we can go talk, or fight, or whatever somewhere else. Just not here, in front of everyone." She kept her cool, but couldn't help but be scared, and thrilled. His sparkle was back again.

Dana walked past him towards the door, and he followed, still fuming, and when her friends tried to follow she just shook her head. So, they didn't follow. Zoey and Nicole were both worried she would get hurt, but Chase and Michael knew she wouldn't.

Once they were far enough away he looked at her again.

"You hate me?" He was yelling again.

"Yes, I hate you." She still isn't.

"You have no fucking reason to hate me! We weren't together! I can fuck whoever the hell I want; it has nothing to do with you! When I said I had to go, I meant it! You were the one who came barging into my dorm and interrupted my fun!" Wait, what?

"Is that why you're screaming at me?" Logan nodded. "That's stupid, Reese. I never said it had anything to do with me. It pissed me off cause it was with someone who I hated, and you were supposed to be my friend. I was obviously wrong about that as well. I thought you were mad about the letter." Dana stated.

"I am mad about the fucking letter! There was no reason for it. I know you're in love with me! There isn't any reason to make it anymore obvious. I don't lie about not caring, I lie about caring. So, when I said I hoped you never came back, I meant it! When I said I hated you, I meant it! Why couldn't you just stay gone?" Dana stood silently after that, in shock. Logan stood shocked at what he said as well, this is not what he planned. Dana stared at him, and her once strong looking eyes that glared into his, looked fragile and ready to cry. She was trying so hard not to, but she looked down toward the ground as the first tear rolled slowly down her cheek. She made her voice soft as she answered him, so maybe he wouldn't hear it crack.

"I couldn't stay gone. I missed everyone. I know you lie about caring, so that whole thing was my fault. If you're done yelling at me now, I would like to go to my dorm." She looked bravely into his eyes, even with the tears on her face.

"Please don't cry." Logan whispered.

"Why? It gives you a show right?"

"Dana, please. I- I did not mean for any of that to come out of my mouth. I was just really upset about the letter, and I don't know, it just came out." Logan's eyes looked sincere, and she knew he meant that, but it was uncalled for.

"I'm not mad at you. I can never stay mad at you. I'm sorry we dated, I'm sorry we kept it a secret, I'm sorry you didn't mean it, but I can't be sorry for the way I felt. I won't be sorry for giving you that letter, it was something that needed to be done. I just can't go through this anymore." She started to walk away, but stopped at the sound of his voice.

"I stayed, you know. At the beach, I heard you say please don't leave me, I sat there while you cried, but the whole time I knew I couldn't do anything to stop it." She turned back around.

"What do you mean you couldn't do anything?" She asked.

"I mean you were leaving, and I'm, me. I can't do relationships, period. Especially not long distance ones. I would have ended up cheating, and I would have hurt you even worse. So, I sat there and listened to you cry, so that I could feel a little bit of the pain you felt; on top of my own." Logan finished.

"I wouldn't have left if you asked me to stay. I came there that night hoping you would ask, but when we fought I knew better than to ever want something like that from you again. But, here I am, still wishing you would have asked. Maybe if you had, things would be different now. But, you didn't, so I've got to live with that." With that she turned and walked away, leaving him to his thoughts. But, not before she saw the dumfounded look on his face, and the tear that ran down it.

Logan couldn't believe that's all he would have had to do. He thought he would have had to conquer the world first, but all he had to do was ask? Seriously? All he did tonight was make her cry, and for the first time in three years, Logan felt a tear run down his cheek. He walked back to his dorm, not bothering to wipe any of the tears that fell.

Dana had stopped crying by the time she made it back to the lounge. Upon entering she was bombarded with questions, to which she shook her head and said she wasn't up for talking. After that, she made her way past them and to her dorm. Suddenly, this month isn't so good after all.

Chapter Eleven.

A/N - Well, this chapter did not go the way I wanted. But, I think it turned out alright. Sad, though, definitely sad.

Dana finally opened up to the group.

Logan finally cried.

And so did Dana. Again.

Very sad stuff.

Don't fear though, my dear readers, it will have a hppy ending. I hope. (;

If you R&R I'll update sooner, rather than later.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

- Katie. (: