Chapter 11

Part 1

Reveling the darkness

(BPOV)

We walked into the living room and everyone looked up at us. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jazz must of left right after we did. I looked at Carlisle and walked right into his arms.

"It's ok, Bella," he whispered to me. I shuck my head clinging onto him stronger.

"Why, Carlisle, why can't I control it."

"You tried, Bella. You have very good control."

"Not after I tasted it."

"I'm sorry Bella. It will probably never be the same."

"I hate myself."

"Don't. We forgive you and no one was killed." I nodded my head and stepped away, looking at the rest of my family.

"There's some stuff I never told you guys. About my past. Edward, do you remember my eye color when we met."

"Topaz."

"No, it wasn't. It was amber."

"Bella," Edward said, "what do you mean."

"I was just trying to quit when I met you but I would cheat. When I met you Edward, everyday was a struggle to not kill you. That's why it was so easy for me to give into turning you. When you died. I gave up. I found a family, other people by themselves. I just didn't think anyone else deserved to live if Edward didn't." Everyone looked at me. Everyone saw the murderer I was. Anyone had killed because of a slip up, the person was bad or revenge. I had just wanted to kill.

"Bella stop," Jasper said then. He walked up to me, put his hands on my shoulders and said, "Don't you dare feel guilt or shame, if anyone here I know how it feels when you can't stop the thirst."

"But I wanted to kill."

"And I did too. When I was with Maria and after with Peter and Charlotte. I wanted to."

"Really, then what made you stop."

"Alice," I saw the love in his eyes, "she gave me the will to stop just like Edward gave you the will."

"He truly did," I said, "even after death. I asked Carlisle if he would meet with me one day. I told him everything."

"I asked if she wanted to join our coven."

"And at the time, I accepted." Everyone looked so confused, "when I went there it was only Carlisle and Esme. I was long gone before Edward came back. I had too."

"Why Bella," Edward asked. Did he think he was the reason.

"Volturi," I whispered. I could see the shock in their eyes. "They were coming for me, I didn't want Carlisle or Esme to get hurt so I left. I've been running from them ever since."

"Well that explaines my vision," Alice said, "but it's gone now."

"What had you seen Alice," Carlisle asked.

"Bella and Edward killing everyone in the class. Then the Volturi coming. Bella and Edward were dead. They were talking about how long they've looked for Bella."

"Yeah, they have," I said, "but Demetri can't find me. I'm not joining them either. They just don't know when to quit."

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