Small Spoiler alert – Ohhhh…Sam is going to be so hated after this chapter!!
Chapter 10 – Time for a Break.
The next three weeks were not very good for Amber or Sam. They argued more and more and Amber spent more nights sleeping in the guest bedroom. She thought she should have gone home to her place, but she was afraid. Afraid if she left Sam's place she would never be coming back. So she stayed and the fighting got worse. They fought over homework, sex, dinner, breakfast, the cleaning of the house, and everything else from little nonsense things to larger issues. Amber tried her best, she would walk around the apartment on "tip toes" but Sam always seemed to find something to argue about. Amber also noticed she would do little things to make Sam mad either for spite or just to get attention. When not arguing, Sam ignored her. Then there was the sex.
It had been a little over three weeks and they had not had sex in seventeen days (Amber kept count) and the last few times they did it was just physical release and desire for sex. Of course one week of that Amber got her period and a few days latter Sam got hers, but Amber doubted they would have had sex anyway. There was no passion in their love making. It was sex just to have sex. Amber was craving the need for sex and passion. She could have gone months without sex, she has in the past, but it was different this time. Living with a girl she loved and not being able to touch her or worse, when she tried she was rejected, and then add to the fact she was used to having sex with Sam almost every night at least four or five times, this no sex was driving her crazy. So when Sam did come to her for sex she was available just to satisfy her physical need even if her emotional need was unfulfilled. She tried to seduce or entice Sam, but would just get rejected. Amber pleased herself often, but it was not the same. The Goth girl realized that all the sex she was having with Sam in the past had turned her into some sort of nymphomaniac. She would spend a lot of time in the bathtub at night. The few times they had sex was only when Sam wanted to. Amber also noticed another change is Sam she did not like.
Her girlfriend became extremely jealous of her. Amber would just be talking to a boy or girl and Sam would get mad and accuse her cheating and threaten the other person. Amber hated this new side of Sam. The worse time Sam showed her jealousy was when Amber was eating lunch with Ran and Jason one day Sam was secretly eating lunch with Carly. Amber was sitting next to Ran and put her arm around her best friend and Ran had her arm around Amber. The Asian girl was comforting Amber about her latest fight with Sam. Sam walked up and saw the scene. She grabbed Ran's arm and threw it off Amber's shoulder.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Amber! Are you fucking Ran now behind my back!"
Sam said glaring at Ran and grabbed Amber's arm and pulled her up to her feet. Ran, who stood up, was facing the blonde girl. Ran was taller than Sam by about four inches and weighed more, but she was a little scared. She did not want to fight Sam for the obvious reason, Sam Puckett was a bad ass bitch when it came to fighting. But Ran did not back down. Under normal circumstances she would have walked away, but Amber was her best friend and she loved the girl and she was not going to let Sam bully her or Amber and no one touched Amber the way Sam did when Ran was around. Even if she was going to get her ass kicked she was not going to let Sam handle Amber like that. Amber let out a small squeal of pain and fear as Sam pulled her next to her, still gripping her arm.
"Let go of her, Sam! We were not doing anything and you know it! Hell, I am not even into girls and even if I was she would not be my type! She is my friend and if I want to put my arm around her I will! So fucking let her go…can't you see you are hurting her!" Ran yelled. Other students started to gather around expecting a fight. Jason took a stepped in between the two girls.
"Sam you and Ran chill out. And let go of Amber, I don't care what she was doing…which was nothing…you don't treat her like that!"
Sam let go of Amber as she pulled the Goth girl behind her. Amber almost fell to the ground. She looked at both Sam and Ran with fear in her eyes, neither girl was backing down. "Samantha, please…please don't. I wasn't doing anything. You know that…please…I would never…never cheat on you. You know Ran is my best friend." She had tears in her eyes and reached up to touch Sam's arm. Sam jerked her arm away and turned to face Amber. She just looked at her girlfriend for a moment and walked away.
Ran walked to her friend, but before she got there Amber ran after Sam calling her name. Jason put his arm around Ran and kissed her cheek, "Intense huh? Ran smiled at him, "Yeah…too much drama with those two lately…Those two have some serious issues to deal with. God, I thought she was going to kick my ass…scared me a little. Thanks for being there." Ran quickly kissed Jason on the lips and the two sat back down.
Later that day, Sam did hunt Ran down and apologized sincerely. Ran told her it was cool but to please never do that again and if she ever saw or heard Sam touch Amber again like she did at lunch the two would have some serious issues. Sam just mumbled out she would not and another apology and walked away. Ran always got along with Sam even before she started dating Amber. The two hung out with the skaters and while they did not know each other well until Amber started dating Sam, Ran never had a problem with the blonde girl. Ran was a jock and strong and tough, but she did not get into fights and Sam always scared her a little anyway. She knew, like most people in school, to avoid Sam when the blonde was in a dangerous mood. One time she saw a side of Sam Amber never saw, her dangerous side. She shivered when she remembered the day last year when it went around school Sam was gay and the blonde was being teased by some of the kids after school at the skate park. It was two jock boys on the football team teasing her trying to show off in front of a couple of girls. Ran remembered watching Sam break one of the boy's nose and jaw with her skate board and doubted the other one would ever have kids after Sam used her broken board on his testicles. Ran remembered the worst part of the incident was when the boy who Sam hit in the groin was on the ground, the blonde kept kicking him in the ribs until someone pulled her off. It was scary because Ran did not think Sam would have stopped until the boy was dead, she seriously thought that. When the police showed Sam took off and no one would tell them who did it and the two boys were not going to admit they got their butts kicked by a girl so they said they got jumped by two strangers. Yeah, Ran knew Sam Puckett was a bad ass, but no one was going to treat her best friend Amber that way.
That night was the night everything exploded for the two girls. The ride home was silent, dinner was silent, and after dinner the tension in the apartment was unbearable. Amber was sitting at the table doing her homework while Sam was watching television. Amber would glance up often and look at Sam. Finally the Goth girl could not take it. She took off her glasses, stood up, and walked over to the couch. She sat on the couch and stared at Sam for about five minutes. She knew the blonde was ignoring her so she finally spoke what was bothering her. Ran did worry that Sam hit Amber, but her Goth friend always told her Sam would never treat her like that.
"I cannot believe you accused Ran if trying something with me! Or me sleeping with her! You know damn well we are friends! And you know damn well I would never do that to you! You have been acting jealous…among other things…lately and it is not a pleasant side of you!" Amber said harshly. Sam just pressed the buttons on the remote to change the channel and turned up the volume.
"Talk to me, Samantha! Please. I am asking for something here. Tell me something…please, baby…I…I'm scared Samantha…I'm worried we are done and I…we…I'm scared I am going to lose you." Amber choked over the last part as emotions choked her. Sam threw the remote on the floor and glared at the Goth girl.
"Is that what you want? For us to be done!" She yelled and stood up.
"Don't…d…Don't throw this back on me! I have been trying and trying…and where are you going?" She asked as Sam walked to the bedroom. She turned her head.
"I have to pee…Damn do you have to be up my ass all the time?"
Amber did not reply and let Sam walk away. She was determined to get this worked out and she thought of the words she would use. She promised she would not let her emotions get the best of her. As she was thinking about her words she heard Sam's cell phone chime. She turned her head and saw it on the kitchen table. Normally Amanda did not snoop or pry, but something made her want to see who sent her a text. Amber walked to the phone and flipped it open. She froze. The from name read Carly. Amber read the message – Sam, lunch was great…thanks for buying…I cannot believe I left my wallet at home. Call me later and see ya tomorrow…you need to tell HER that we have been hanging out…it's the right thing to do…remember dinner with my dad next Saturday night…looking forward to it…a lot! CS
Amber dropped the phone back on the table and her head was spinning and her heart was pounding. She turned when she heard Sam's bare feet on the hardwood floors.
"I…I know now why you have been…been acting like you have! Oh, God…it all makes sense now! How long have you been seeing her, Samantha…no wait! Let me guess…ohhh…three weeks maybe? I did not mean to read you text…well yeah I did and I am sorry. Unlike you, I don't like to lie and deceive people." Amber picked up the phone and tossed it to Sam. Sam caught it and read the text. She actually smiled.
"So what? So I am friends with her again! I have been friends with Carly way before I knew your freaky ass! What is the difference between me and Carly and you and Ran! Tell me that! Carly and I have been friends for just as long as you and Ran! Who are you to tell me who I can and can't be friends with, anyway? And yeah I lied and deceived you, but you have been lying and deceiving me since we started dating!" Sam walked last Amber and into the kitchen to get a drink from the refrigerator.
"I never said who and who you could not be friends with, Samantha! You have a lot of friends.."
"Fuck that…they all mostly your friends than mine and none of them know me like Carly does!" Sam interrupted. Both girls were in the small kitchen and standing close to one another.
"And you seemed to have a problem with my friendship with Ran today…that was stupid. You know Ran is straight and hell even if she was not, she is like my sister!"
"Just like Carly is to me…you can't have a double standard, Amber!" Sam lashed back
"I don't have a double standard! There is a big difference in my friendship with Ran and yours with Carly. First, Ran never told me she could not be my friend just because I liked girls like Carly did to you! Do you remember how that hurt? Do you, Samantha? I remember! I remember you being upset about it! And then there is…is…you…I don't…I know you are in love with her and will leave me in a moment for her!" Amber said rapidly. Sam looked stunned, Is it that obvious? She asked herself.
"Please, don't be stupid! I am not in love with her like that. Yeah, I'm glad we are friends again…very glad. And I am not going to stop being her friend! Plus she is not gay!"
Amber wiped her eyes, "Well…I…I…we…you…ohhhhh! And…what do you mean I lied to you! Samantha I never lied to you or deceived you!"
Sam walked closer to Amber, backing the other girl up against the stove. He blonde lifted her hand and ran it through Amber's hair seductively. Amber tried to flinch away, but the stove held her in place. She turned her head in fear. Sam ran her fingers so they loosened the Goth's hair and it fell free. Sam then grabbed a handful and pulled back. Amber whimpered in pain, "Please…let go…ouch! You're hurting me…please let go…!" Sam then ran her mouth on Amber's neck and the Goth girl moaned in pleasure and her hands reached around and found the blondes butt and Amber pulled her close to her. Sam then kissed and bit Amber's neck, "Ohhh…please Samantha…please…ohhh I need you…God yes…make love to me…please!" Amber moaned out as Sam sucked her neck and kissed her ear.
Then Sam pulled the other girl's hair harder and brought her lips to Amber's ear, "Oh…never lied to me, huh! What about your sexual experience, huh? There is no way you now the things you do without fucking a lot of people! Hell you taught me some things! So, Amber, how many, huh? Ten, twenty, thirty? Are you a whore like those rumors about you? Are you? Where did you learn all those freaky things from, Amber?" Sam whispered harshly in her ear and then pushed her head back as she let go of the girl's hair. Amber stared at Sam in disbelief and shock. Tears were leaking down her eyes.
"How could you! You…you of all people! How could you call me that or…or…or believe those things about me! I…I cannot believe…you…" Amber took a deep breath and controlled her self. She looked at Sam, "I…I never lied about that to you. I know those things because…because when we started dating I…I…read about them so I could please you better! That is how. I read book after book on how to please you! And…and I never heard you complain! I never heard you tell me to stop when I did things with my tongue and fingers…I never heard you complain when you were spanking my ass when I was tied to the bed. Did I ever hear you complain when you fucked my ass! No, Samantha, you just love it and you know it! Is that the problem or is it that your precious perfect Carly thinks that stuff is freaky and now you do too? Well let me tell you something, Samantha Puckett, Carly Shay could never satisfy you like that! She would never let you tie her to the bed, gag her mouth, and allow you to do the things to her I did for you…and…and I did so willingly and with great pleasure! So maybe Carly could be your perfect little girlfriend and I'll be your whore on the side! How does that sound…hell I'll even let you pimp me out since you think I'm a whore anyway! You could make a hell of a lot of money on my cute little ass! At least then I would be having sex!" Amber was still pinned to the stove by Sam, but she was staring defiantly in the blondes blue eyes, "God…you have been acting bitchy for weeks now and I am finally glad to find out why! Now I ….Ouhhhhh….Shit….that really hurts….Stop!" Amber cried out as Sam grabbed her arm and put it behind her back and pulled it up.
"Don't ever call me a bitch!" Sam growled and her blue eyes went that dangerous cold color.
Amber cried in pain and fear and emotional hurt, "I…please Sam let go…awwwww it hurts…I did…I did not call you a bitch, I…said you were acting bitchy…but…ohhhh stop…but it is ok for you to call me a whore, but…but…it hurts…stop…I can't call you a bitch? Well…ohhhhh God…stop please…it hurts! You're going to break my arm…YOU BITCH!" Amber screamed out. At first she did not feel the pain. All she heard was the loud smack and then a split second of nothing and then the pain. The burning pain on the side of her cheek. She fell to the floor on her butt and looked up at Sam. Sam was staring at the palm of her hand and then to Amber and then back to her hand. She did that for a while before she said anything.
"Amber…oh God…Am…I'm sorry…I…I did not mean it...it just happened…" Sam was begging.
Amber slowly stood and rubbed her sore cheek. Sam did not hit her with enough force to actually knock her down, she fell more out of shock. Of all the times Sam was physical in their arguments, which were really not much until lately, Sam never slapped her. She never hit Amber in the face. Amber looked at Sam and announced she was going to bed. She turned and Sam tried to grab her arm gently but Amber just jerked it away and went to the spare bedroom.
"Amber…I…I didn't mean it…I swear! I'm sorry." Am yelled after her.
Amber turned when she got in the bedroom doorway with fresh tears in her eyes, "I know you didn't…or at least pray you didn't…but…but you still did it. Night, Sam." She walked into the door and slammed it shut.
Sam walked to her room slowly. She lay in the bed and thought of the terrible thing she did. Not that twisting her arm or pulling her hair in anger was not terrible but slapping her was the final straw. She did not know why she got that way. Yeah she used to get into a lot of fights but even twisting Amber's arm was uncalled for and horrible. She sighed, she knew Amber would never leave her regardless of what she did to the girl, but she could not live this way. She could not be like her father. What little she knew of her father was not good. She could remember nights when she was little when her dad still lived with them and she could remember her dad and mother fighting and the sounds of her mother crying and pleading for her old man not to hit her any more. Sam lost it when Amber called her a bitch. She remembered when her dad was around and he would introduce Sam to his friends or even strangers as "his little bitch". Regardless of where they were at she was always referred as "My little bitch." Sam was six when her dad split. Sam could not stand to be called a bitch. Sam thought of her dad and she refused to be him! Sam rolled over and a single tear leaked from her right eye. She knew it was time before things got worse. She felt an ache in her heart at the thought, but she had not choice. Sam knew it would only get worse and she knew Amber would never leave her. The girl would stay with her until Sam really hurt her physically. She did not know if she loved Amber anymore or not and she knew Amber was not a whore or a liar or anything else she called her tonight. But she did know Amber did not deserve to be hurt like that. Tonight was the final act that made Sam realize she may not love Amber. Amber deserved better.
The next morning Sam woke from only an hour sleep. This morning she did not need Amber wake her, she got up on her own. She smelled bacon cooking and knew Amber also had a sleepless night. She slipped on a tee shirt and walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Amber was standing over the stove cooking breakfast.
"Morning…coffee's ready." She said without turning her head. Sam poured her some coffee and sat down.
"Need any help?" She asked and could not help but smile when Amber chuckled, "You cook? Please…I don't feel like getting poisoned today."
"Amber…about last night…I am so sorry. I…I don't…"
"Do you want grape or apple jelly for your toast?" Amber asked ignoring Sam.
Sam sighed, "Apple." The girls ate their breakfast in silence.
Sam was driving as usual and Amber had her head pressed to the window and looking at the passing scenery. "Amber…Amber…" She heard Sam call her name and she grunted she heard.
"Amber, we need…I think we need a break. A break from us. It would be the best." Sam said.
Amber did not look at her girlfriend as tears ran down her face, "K." Was all she squeaked out.
Sam glanced at her and smiled in pity. She knew it hurt, but it was for the best. "Well…that was easy. Guess you felt the same way…especially after last night. I am truly sorry, Amber, that was out of line and never happen again. I promise."
Amber's head snapped as it turned to face Sam, "Guess I feel the same way? Never happen again? Of course it won't happen again, you dumped me! And as far as feeling the same way, I would take that every night if it meant you loved me! A break…funny how people say that, huh? Why don't you just say the words Samantha? Don't call a break up a break! I…I…know what it means…," Amber's voice changed instantly from angry to a heart wrenching pleading sound, "Ohhhh please Samantha…don't do this! Please…I…I need you, I can't…I need you so much! Please…we can work thing out! I…I…hang out with Carly…I don't care…just please don't do this to me! I love you so much Samantha! Don't you see that…can't you understand how much!...I…can't be without you! I…I can't live without you!" Amber broke down. She placed her face in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.
Sam reached over and stoked the other girl's hair sadly. Her heart did go out to what Amber was feeling. "Amber, I know you love me and I care about you but I just don't know if…if I can tell you I love you. I need to work things out. I also know if we stayed together things would get worse. I hated myself last night for hitting you. I never felt guilt about any of my actions in the past, but I did twice in the past month. The first was talking to Carly without telling you. That was wrong. I should have told you and I am sorry for that. The second was hitting you last night. I…I will never forgive myself for that. And I know you would stay with me, but I can't do that to you. It would not be fair for either of us. And I didn't say we were breaking up. I said we needed a break from one another." Sam tried to comfort the girl and she felt pity for Amber as she just sat crying.
They got to school and Amber finally looked up. "I'm…going home…my apartment…I don't feel like school today." Sam nodded and gave her the keys. "I'll call you later…ok." Amber just sniffled and climbed into the driver side of the car. She rolled down the window, "Do…do you need a ride today? And…what about my stuff? I need to come and get…get…my…my stuff."
Sam leaned closer, "I'll catch a ride and tomorrow is Saturday…you can get your things then. And if…if you want…I can be gone and you can get your stuff when I am not there. That may be better."
Amber nodded and drove home. She got home and took off all her clothes in the living room and crawled into her king sized bed that used to be her mom and dad's bed and bedroom. She picked up her phone and found Ran's name and sent a text. – Call…I need you!
It took five minutes for Ran to respond – Already on my way! I saw Sam this morning. Be there in about 5. Is the code still the same? Amber knew she meant the code for the door so she could just come straight in.
Yes…Ran…I don't want to live w/o her!
Amber waited for the reply and she heard the door open and Ran call her name. She called out from the bedroom.
Ran walked in the room and hugged her tight. Amber laid her head on her shoulder and cried. Ran did not say a word and let the girl cry until she feel asleep. Ran was reminded of her mother and the times this same girl would cry on her mothers shoulder until she feel asleep saddened by another lose. Ran kissed Amber forehead and picked up Amber's cell phone. She searched the names and found the one she wanted and dialed. It went to voice mail: "This is Patrick…leave a message." The voice was strong and handsome sounding (well to Ran is was because she knew how handsome the man the voice belonged to was) and left a message. "Patrick this is Ran…Ran Isuel…anyway just to let you know, Amber and Sam broke up and she is pretty upset. No need to call me back…just wanted you to know. But…ummm…if you want…ummm you can call me back…just to say hi…well anyway…umm hi…I mean bye…damn…sorry…bye."
Ran cursed herself, why did she even call him? That was stupid! I cannot believe I even called to worry him. I mean people break up all the time! Oh I am soooo stupid! And then that silly rambling… 'Call me back just to say hi' God I am so stupid! Ran hit her own forehead with the palm of her hand. She knew why she called him; she had a major crush on him. She had ever since she was ten, but Patrick but of course looked at her like another younger sister, if he looked at her at all. Ran looked at her friend and quietly left the room. She walked into Patrick's room and snooped around some, looked at his medals in a frame on the wall and had no clue to what they meant, but there was a lot of them and she was impressed, found nothing else interesting until she walked by his dresser and saw a set of military ID tags (dog tags). Ran stood there frozen in thought. Should she or shouldn't she. Ran grinned, she should and she picked them up and placed them in her back pocket of her jeans. Oh man I am pathetic…I'll give them back. I promise! She walked back into Amber's room and saw the girl still sleeping and went into the kitchen to get a drink. There was nothing in the fridge or in the cabinets, which made sense since Amber had not lived here in months. Ran decided to go to the market at the corner and get a few things until she took Amber to the store later. She realized she was still holding Amber's phone and put it on the kitchen table.
Ran was unpacking the two bags of groceries, which consisted of green tea, milk, two boneless chicken breasts, rice, some vegetables, soy sauce, and other seasonings. She was going to make Amber stir fry for lunch. She grinned when she thought Amber was going to be pissed she did not get any coffee, but Ran did not drink coffee and thought no one else should either. As the Asian girl was putting the soy sauce in the cabinet she noticed the bottle had a leak in it and dripped over her shirt and jeans. She cursed, finished putting away the groceries, and then put her jeans and shirt in the wash. She noticed the sauce leaked through her shirt to her bra and took it off and added it to the wash.
Walking around the house topless, Ran went back to Amber's room and looked for a tee shirt. There were only a few tee shirts and three pair of panties and a pair of new blue jeans with the tags still on them. Ran giggled, "Hell, she probably brought these a year ago." She said out loud. Amber was not into wearing jeans. All of her other clothes were at Sam's. Ran looked at the tee shirts and knew there was no way they would fit her since Amber was a lot shorter and smaller in the chest than she was so she went back into Patrick's room. She found a red tee shirt with gold letters across the chest that read U.S.M.C and slipped it on and grinned at the thought of wearing Patrick's shirt. It was too large for her but comfortable. She thought she may ask Amber if she could keep it and use it to sleep in at night. She then walked back into Amber's room.
Ran got under the blankets with Amber and wrapped her arms around her sleeping friend. "Oh gross…your naked!" She said aloud and shifted the sheets so she would not be against the naked skin. She again wrapped her arms around her friend and kissed the back of Amber's head. "I love you girl…but when you wake up we are having a serious talk! You last message scared the shit out of me. You have some issues, baby girl, and we are going to deal with them today." She whispered in Amber's ear. She has issues? Hell I clipped Patrick's dog tags just because they have his name on them and going to keep one of his tee shirts to sleep in…those are a major issues. She grinned and drifted to sleep.
Sam and Carly –
As Amber slept Sam informed Carly in on all the details about what had happened. She convinced Carly to skip school with her and they went to the mall. Sitting at the food court Sam told Carly about the break up…or break…when she told Carly she slapped Amber, Carly looked shocked.
"Are you in the habit of slapping your girlfriends, Sam?" She asked sternly and with anger in her voice.
"No…I…I don't know what happened. It just happened. She called me a bitch and it happened. I did not even know what I was doing until it was over. God, Carly, I feel terrible about it. It…I was like my dad. I don't want to be like him, Carls. I can't stand myself right now."
Carly grabbed Sam's hand and held it tight, "Sam, I am not going to approve of what you did, it was terrible and wrong on so many levels. But I am sorry you think you could be like your dad…don't ever think that! You are not like him in anyway! You are a good person, Sam. A caring person, I know that. You are kind and loving and caring and…special, Sam Puckett, and don't ever let anyone tell you different! I know your good side and I am sure Amber does as well. You are not going to be like your father…never think that!" Carly was the only person besides Sam and her mother that knew about her father. Sam smiled at her friend.
The two spent the day together at the mall and to Sam it was like old times when she and Carly would go to the mall or other shops and hang out and just have fun. They laughed so hard at times Sam's side ached. It was a good day for Sam and Carly. Sam would think of Amber sadly on occasion and frown, but one look at Carly and her face would beam a huge smile. It was a great day for them both. Carly also enjoyed the good times and was reminded of how they used to be. As Carly was driving Sam home she looked at her friend and felt happy. Then she had two ideas.
"Hey, Sam…umm want to spend the night tonight? We can stay up late and sleep in tomorrow. We could rent a bunch of those terrible horror movies you like and have a movie marathon, make popcorn, drink a ton of Peppi Cola, maybe invite Freddie over for you to torment, and just hang out like we used to!" Carly asked very excitedly.
Sam laughed, "And have a pillow fight in our bra and panties after Freddie leaves?" She teased. Carly looked at her in a shocked way and then turned back to the road and had a focused look on her face. "Hey, Carls, I'm sorry…I…I was only teasing. I guess it was out of line and maybe a little too soon for those kinds of jokes. Umm…maybe spending the night would not be a good idea yet."
Carly turned to her friend with a stern look on her face, "Sam Puckett! How dare you! How dare you tell me you were just teasing…getting my hopes up and all!" She yelled in mock anger and then burst out laughing, "Sam…its cool. I was not at all offended with you terrible attempt to flirt…which was a little sad by the way. We need to work on that if we are to get you a new girl friend. But seriously, I was not offended. I knew you were checking out my hot bod all day, yup that's me…Carly Shay the hot bod, hot bod Carly Shay." Both girls giggled, "But you are spending the night, that is final." Carly said with her dazzling smile and Sam could not resist. I wonder if she really knew I was checking her out…I need to be more careful, Sam thought.
Carly smiled at the thought of a pillow fight with Sam in their underwear and felt a rush of excitement. Damn, damn, damn…I wonder if I am gay or bi or just plain curious! That is why I cannot let Sam know how I feel. If it is just me being curious, 'cause face it you never thought of a girl that way until Sam told you she was gay, then it could hurt Sam. That is the last thing I want is to hurt her, Carly sighed. There is no one in the world that knows her like I do, including that freak bitch Amber, and knows the hurt she had suffered in her life. They don't know the terrible things she has gone through…hell it took over ten years for her to finally open up to me about them. No Sam, I am never going to hurt you again so I will keep my feelings to myself…and maybe one day the time will be right for me to tell you. She looked at Sam again and thought how beautiful her friend was and then her second idea came back to her.
"Sam, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to homecoming with me. I don't have a date and you were going with Amber, and I assume you are not now, and thought it would be fun. What you say?"
"I don't know Carls. People would freak that a girl nominated for homecoming queen shows up with a lesbian…they would talk about you and trust me, that is not fun. Plus…I did promise Amber and even if I don't go with her…which I still may ask her at least to see if she still wants to go…it would hurt her more and I have hurt her enough already. I need to think about it…ok."
Carly smiled, see she is a good person, "Ok…but think about it. I don't care what people think about me…anymore…I am so over that nonsense."
Sam smiled, "Good…I did not like that Carly Shay. Hey…how did you know I was taking Amber anyway? I never told you."
Carly laughed, "Ran told me…you know Amber's friend. She mentioned it to me when…well…I asked her about you the day you invited Amber…she told me."
"I did not know you talked to her. I mean…her being Amber's best friend and all."
Carly laughed, "Ran is cool…I like her. I mean I don't know her well, but we had a few classes together last year and have two together this year and we talked. Plus I ran across her at a couple of party's over the summer. Being the jock type she gets invited to the ones I went to…you know the ones the so called popular kids go to…anyway…I saw her at a couple and talked to her because her and I were the only ones who were not having a good time. She is nice. I mean we are not best of friends or anything, but we got along."
Sam nodded, "You did not like hanging out with the "in crowd" huh?"
Carly smiled, "Not really…they were so fake and could be mean…don't get me wrong, it had its perks and I did have some fun. I really liked the cheerleading part and I am going to miss it, but there was no way I could stay on the squad after I told Tiffany off…so I had to quit."
"Sorry…and you did look cute in the uniform…and no I am not flirting, just making a true statement."
They drove to Sam's house and got her things to spend the night, dropped into the video store and got several DVDs (more than they could watch in one night), got some stuff for dinner (mostly juke food), Carly called Freddie, and they drove to Carly's apartment. Spencer left a note telling Carly he was not going to be home. Sam was very happy to be with Carly again.
Earlier that day
Ran woke up with a pair of small delicate alabaster arms wrapped around her and looked at the clock and saw it was a little after eleven in the morning. She needed to get up and wake Amber as well. She untangled the other girl's arms and turned her body to face her. She ran her hand through the girl's long thick black hair and started to separate the two red locks from the rest of her hair. She made a mental note to braid them later. Amber looked good when two red braids fell across her cheeks and her long black hair spilling loose over her shoulders.
"Ams…Ams, honey…you need to wake up, baby." Ran nudged the girl gently and smiled when Amber stirred and opened her eyes. The Goth girl smiled sadly.
"Not a nightmare, huh?" She asked as she grabbed one of Ran's hands and clutched it tight.
"No, baby, not a nightmare…I'm sorry." She said as Amber moved her body closer to her and wrapped her arms around her again. Ran felt the smaller girl's body shake and knew she was crying again. She placed her own arms around Amber, not caring this time the other girl was naked, and held her tight. A few minutes passed and Amber took her head off her friend's shoulder and tilted her head to face Ran; the two girl's still hugging.
"Oh, Ran, what am I going to do? I cannot live without her. I don't want to live without her." Amber whispered to her friend.
Ran stroked Amber's hair again, "Hush…don't you talk like that. What would I do without you? I love you, Ams, and I would be sad if you weren't around. So stop being silly." Ran said in a soft kind voice, but in truth her heart froze in fear.
She was not an expert in these things, but she had a true fear the girl may hurt herself. Ran knew Amber has been through a lot in her life and she heard a few people say thing like, "So her parents died…it was five years ago, time to move on.", "She is not the only person to lose parents and they are not weird like her", etc. But Ran knew more than most people about her friend. She knew Amber and her mom were more than mother and daughter, they were so close Ran used to get jealous wishing her relationship with her own mother was that great. And her dad…well she was his little princess. She even had a great relationship with her brother, granted he was eight years older than her, but he protected his little sister. Their deaths struck her hard and then Amber changed into the Amber of today. It was not a bad change where she acted out in a rebellious manner, Patrick would have killed her for that, she just changed her fashion, makeup, from little Ms. Brunette Green Eyed Barbie to hard core Goth (something she toned down a lot their junior year) and started hanging out with the "Freaks" at school. That change caused the girl to receive a lot of torment from the more popular kids at school, more than anyone else got. Ran knew the reason was because if Amber had not changed she would have been one of the most popular girls in the school if not the most popular. She was amazingly pretty, charming, the sweetest person Ran knew, and just a lovely girl in general. On the outside, Amber never let all the ridicule and torment bother her, but Ran knew on the inside it hurt her a great deal. Then when she openly admitted she liked both boys and girls it got worse. Ran knew Amber did not become sexually attracted to girls after her mom and dad died, the Goth girl was making out with other girls since she was twelve. The Asian girl also saw another change in her friend. Amber became needy and obsessive in any relationship she got involved in. From the first girl she had sex with, that jerk of a boyfriend she dated for a while, and then Sam. She was even a little obsessed with Wynn…for a month until she found out the terrible rumors he spread about her. But Sam was different. Amber fell for her head over heals on their first date. Ran remember when Amber called her the next morning and told her Sam spent the night and she was in love.
Ran knew Amber had a crush on Sam ever since she was fourteen. She would make her watch that silly web show ICarly with her and comment how beautiful Sam was and go on and on about her... Amber would obsess over her and then they started dating and Ran did not doubt Amber loved Sam, but it was a love almost based on obsession and that scared her. Oh, Amber was not the stalking type or crazy girl type, but Ran did think her friend may do something stupid and scary and hurt herself now that Sam broke up with her.
Ran continued to stroke Amber's hair and looked in the girl's incredible brilliant green eyes. Their faces were very close to each other, "We need to get up, honey, and I…" Her sentence was interrupted as Amber's lips locked on hers. Her mouth was open while she was talking and she felt Amber's tongue slide into her mouth. Ran responded for about three seconds. During those three seconds she kissed Amber back and felt the other girl press her pelvic tighter to hers and then felt a pair of hands pull her closer as they slipped under her panties and grabbed her naked butt. Ran pulled her mouth off of Amber's.
"Amber…Ohhh…Amber." Ran moaned involuntarily as Amber started kissing her neck, "Amber, stop…you have too stop, please, baby. Ohhh, God…stop" Ran said softly as another moan beyond her control escaped her lips.
Amber continued to kiss and gently suck Ran's neck passionately mistaking Ran's moan as pleasure and permission. "Please, Ran, I need you…I need this…please…I need to feel you love me." Amber said in between kisses on the Asian's neck as the girl tried to gently push her away. Amber wrapped her legs around the other girl and continued to kiss her. She then slipped her right hand under Ran's tee shirt and found her breast and then nipple. She gently teased the nipple with her fingers and then felt herself being pushed away by the much stronger girl. She saw anger flash on Ran's face.
"What the hell, Amber? I told you to stop! Damn it…what are you thinking!" Ran said harshly and immediately regretted her words and tone as Amber pulled the sheets and blanket over her head and started to cry again. Ran knew what Amber was doing, she had a void that needed to be filled and for a moment she thought that void would be Ran.
"You…you hate me…I just wanted…needed for you to…to love me…I…you hate me too." Amber cried from under the blankets. Ran pulled the blanket and sheets from Amber's head and leaned over and kissed the crying girl on the forehead.
"Ams, I do not hate you. I could never hate you…ever. I…I am just not into girls and you know that. I love you, baby, I love you more than I would a sister if I had one."
Amber wiped the tears from her face, "But…but…why did you…I…you acted like you wanted me to at first. You kissed me back and even…I am so sorry, Ran…I…what is wrong with me?"
"Ams, sweetie, I kissed you back because I was…well…I was curious and you did not need…I mean to say is…I did not want you to feel rejected I guess. You don't need that right now. Baby, If I could I swear I would have sex with you to make you feel better, but I can't and it would be wrong. Lets say I am into women for a moment, how would you feel afterward? We would not date. You are in love with someone else and where would I be? It would ruin our friendship and that is more important to me than anything. Plus…well…lets be serious. You would so not be my type." Ran said with a large grin and Amber could not help but laugh.
"Oh and what would be your type?"
"Well…a girl who is not a klutz, more athletic, and ummm…I think a blonde. I think I would like blondes. Wow…never thought about it but I think Sam would be my type. Now that you and her are not dating; think she would go out with me?" Ran asked with a evil grin and got a pillow in the face.
"You are so mean! And I am not a klutz!" Amber said in a sad voice but could not help but laugh again. Ran had that effect on her. She liked to use humor to try and defuse a bad situation and was very successful at it. "Maybe you would not be my type either and Samantha would never be seen dating a Chinese girl anyway!"
"Yeah, honey, you are a klutz. Remember when you were so into ballet? I would go to your recitals and wonder how someone so graceful on that stage could trip over her own feet when trying to run." Ran chuckled and Amber could not help but smile. "And, please…I am so your type and Sam would be all over me like you were. You round eyes cannot help but fall for us Asian girls" Ran said as she got out of bed and pulled the blankets off Amber. "No get some clothes on you perv and get up. I am hungry and I'm cooking lunch. I'll make us some hot tea."
Amber grabbed the sheets and pulled them over her naked body, "Tea? Why didn't you get coffee? Hey…what are you wearing…Oh you slut, I cannot believe it! You are wearing one of Patrick's shirts. I cannot believe you, Ran! Talk about being a perv. You were going through my brother's closet and stealing his clothes. I am surprised you are not wearing his underwear…Oh God, please tell me you are not wearing his underwear?"
Ran blushed, "No! I am not wearing his underwear as you discovered a few moment ago. I spilt something on my jeans and shirt and put them in the washer. And of course your shirts are way too small…especially in the chest area," Ran gave Amber a condescending look and the other girl just stuck out her tongue at the Asian, "and I needed something to wear. If I had known you were going to try and get into my panties I would have put on an overcoat before getting into bed with you." Ran laughed as she dodged another pillow as she ran out of the room.
"Ohhhh God! I am so sorry, Ran…I'm never going to live that down huh?" Amber yelled after her
Ran stuck her head in the doorway, "Seriously, Ams, don't sweat it. I'll never mention it again. I promise. Also, you need to wash your face. Your makeup ran and you look like a raccoon." Her head disappeared and was back a second later as Amber was crawling out of the bed.
"By the way, Ams, no joking, you are an awesome kisser…Oh my God it was the best kiss I have ever had, seriously!" Ran commented with a blush and walked into the kitchen. She was not trying to humor Amber, it was the best kiss she had even if she did not feel anything by it.
Amber smiled and yelled, "Of course it was!" She walked to her drawer and looked at the only clothes she had in the house, besides what was laying in the middle of the floor in the living room, and put on a pair of white cotton panties and a old tee shirt with the words "Lords of Acid" written across the front. She was not going to wear jeans. It was nice to have her best friend with her, but she still felt like she wanted to die. Amber walked into the bathroom washed her face. She looked at herself in the mirror and started to cry again.
Amber calmed down and washed her face again and made her way to the kitchen. She saw Ran sitting on the kitchen counter in a sexy pose talking on the phone, her cell phone! Her legs were crossed seductively and she actually had her back straight and her chest jutted out like she was posing in Playboy. One hand was holding the phone and the other was twisting her long silky black hair. A habit Amber knew she did when nervous. Amber also noticed her she was blushing deeply.
"Who are you talking to and why are you blushing so much!" Amber asked loudly.
Ran turned her head to her and mouthed the words "shut up" and motioned with her hand for her to go away. Amber asked again who she was talking to, but Ran ignored her so Amber listened.
"Yeah that was her…sure you can. Oh, she just ran to the bathroom…no she had to pee I think." Amber stomped her foot and gave her a sharp look. "Of course…yeah she is fine…well sad of course, but I'll take care of her for you." Ran giggled like a thirteen year old school girl. Amber stared at her in disbelief. Ran never giggled like that. "Ohhh…thank you, you are sweet. So umm…when you coming home? Cool…oh that is great…ummm…you know I have a college scout from LSU calling me all the time. They may offer me a scholarship. Volleyball…that's ok I did not expect you to remember…umm." Ran giggled again, "Your silly…oh they are fine. They ask about you a lot. Yup…she does…we had lunch last Sunday…yup my parents and Amber and I. It was fun." Ran laughed, "Patrick you are so funny…"
"Patrick? Give me the phone, Ran, and stop flirting with him! And stop poking out your breasts like he can see them!" Amber squealed and Ran gave her a look of utter embarrassment and handed her the phone.
Amber's voice changed to that of a twelve year old, "Hey, Patrick…I did not know she called you…No she is being stupid. I swear she had the biggest crush on you...Ouch, Ran that hurt." Amber yelled at her friend when she slapped her shoulder. "I miss you too. Well…we have been having some issues lately and we needed a break from one another. I will…you too and come home soon, I miss you! No they have not sent a letter yet. Uhhuh…I got some…oh one was Vanderbilt! Yeah that was cool, mom would have loved it. I was thinking about Washington. Well yeah I know…but…but…Patrick stop, I don't want to go to Berkeley anymore. Do not…I promise. Ok, love you too."
Amber looked at Ran who was waving her hands to tell Amber she wanted to talk to him again, "Ran he has to go, he just got finished a twelve hour shift and is tired." She focused back on the phone, "Ok…I will…love you to. She's a freak so don't worry about her. She thinks you and her are going to get married one day." Amber laughed as Ran groaned and slid to the floor on her butt and placed her hands in her head. "Bye Patrick." Amber hug up the phone and looked at Ran and smiled, "Should have had sex with me and I would've put in a good word." Ran looked up and both girls burst out laughing.
Amber sat at the table drinking her hot tea and pouting it was not coffee. She watched Ran fix the stir fry. Both girls made a few jokes about Asian food or American food but now Amber was quite. She was thinking about Sam. The pain she was feeling was beyond anything she ever felt before…except once. She felt emotional pain when people at school teased her or played their cruel jokes on her or spread terrible rumors about her even if she appeared they did not bother her, but this pain was so much worse and felt like before. She never thought she would feel hurt like that night, but she was wrong. She felt it again when Sam said those four little words. Amber could hear them over and over in her mind, "We need a break!" those words haunted her just like the four words did a little over fours years ago. Amber's thought drifted to that terrible night.
She woke up to the sound of the door buzzer being repeated over and over. She looked at the clock and saw it was a little after two in the morning. She got up and put on a robe and cursed her mom and dad for forgetting there keys. She looked at Ran sleeping next to her and decided not to wake her. She was thirteen and this was the second night her mom and dad let her stay alone…well with Ran spending the night…but they were alone. Patrick was still in the Marines and in Afghanistan. Amber yawned and was about to press the button to let her parents in when she suddenly remembered her dad repeating over and over "Do not buzz anyone in until you know who it is. If you do not know them do not buzz them in." Amber yawned again and pressed the intercom button. "Who is it?" She said in a sleepy voice. The voice that answered was one she knew, it was the night doorman to the building, "Amber…this is Frank…ummm…I have two police officers down here who need to talk to you. Can you buzz them up please?" Amber hit the button and ran into her room to wake Ran. She got real scared.
"Ran, wake up! Ran get up…the police are coming up for some reason!" Amber quickly slipped on a khaki skirt and blue blouse.
Ran shot out of bed and started to get dressed as well. Slipping on a pair of jeans she turned to Amber, "What did you do?"
"Shut up! I did not do anything! I have no clue what is going on. Mom and dad aren't home yet either."
Ran was buttoning her jeans when she stopped and sat on the bed, "Oh God, Amber!...Oh God!"
"What? Hurry will ya, they'll be up any second and…" Amber froze when she saw the look on Ran's face, it scared her. The Asian girl face was pale. She looked up at her friend.
"You…y-y-you don't think something happened…to Patrick do you?" She asked in a shaky voice.
Amber froze in fear, "I…I…don't think so…don't they…I mean wouldn't they send some military guy or something?" After a pause of several seconds Amber realized she really did not know how it worked, "Ran…call your mom and dad, please. I…I'm going to call mom's cell." Amber picked up her cell phone that was on the night stand and dialed as Ran used the land phone in the room to call her parents. She got voice mail and hung up. She did not want to scare them. She turned to Ran, who was on the phone with her father.
"Yes sir,…no they are here now…Yes sir. I swear dad all we did was watch movies and eat junk food and go to bed…no we did not leave the apartment. Dad, please…she's scared…and hell we are both scared! What if it is Patrick! Please come over! Ok…yes sir. Thanks dad…love you too."
By the time Ran hung up the doorbell rang and both girls looked at each other, took a deep breath, and walked to the door hand in hand. Amber let the policemen in, after checking the peep hole and identification, and saw Frank was still with them. They introduced themselves and asked if they could go into the living room. Amber led them in the house and they asked if she wanted to sit down and she shook her head and clutched Ran's hand tighter. She looked at the tallest one who seemed to be in charge.
"Is my brother dead? Did something happen to Patrick?" She blurted out and the policemen looked at one another stunned and Frank quickly explained that Amber's bother was serving in the Marines over seas. They nodded and told her no, they were not there for Patrick. They asked one more time if she wanted to sit down and she declined again. The tall black officer, he was in charge, took a deep breath explained there was a car accident, it could not be helped due to the snow and ice on the roads, no one was to blame, and then those four words that haunted Amber, "You parents are dead."
The policeman went on the explain both her mom and dad died at the scene and went into more details on the crash, but Amber did not hear him. She let out an awful wail, let go of Ran's hand, fell to the floor, and was sitting on her butt with her face in her hands. Ran took a deep breath, walked to the phone, and called her house, "Mom, did dad leave yet? Ok…umm…you need to come too. I know he left so you need to drive yourself! Mom…NO…you need to be here! Fuck mother! Amber's mom and dad are dead so fucking get over here!"
Ran dropped the phone and tears started pouring from her eyes as the shock wore off and she dropped to the floor next to her friend and both girls held one another as they sobbed. The police were very nice and waited until Ran's father came, explained thing to him, and left. Moments later Ran's mother arrived and when she got there it was the first time Amber let go of Ran and she fell into Mrs. Isuel arms and cried harder. Mr. Isuel packed a few things for Amber and the four drove to Ran's house.
Patrick was contacted as the Isuel's made the funeral arrangements for them. Patrick got home in time for the funeral and got to stay two weeks before he had to go back. While there it was agreed Amber would stay at the Isuel's for as long as needed. Amber smiled a little when she remembered how Ran fawned over Patrick the whole two weeks and kept asking him if he was ok, did he need to talk, and she went with him everywhere saying he should not be alone. To his credit, Patrick was very kind to the much younger girl and Amber secretly thought he liked having the company and it made it easier for him. He even thought her stupid jokes were funny. She remembered the funeral and how he just stood there in his uniform and his face was as still and cold as stone. He never cried once where as Amber broke down like a baby. Of course she could not stop crying. Amber had never seen Patrick cry. He went back overseas and was discharged a few weeks later since he was the only surviving relative of a minor sibling and had to take care of her.
Amber sighed and looked at Ran and felt a sudden flood of great affection for her friend. She was always there for her. When her mom and dad died and now when Sam broke up with her. The good feeling lasted only for a moment as she once again thought of Sam. She felt the same way she did when her mom and dad died and Amber did not know if she could truly live through that pain again.
Ran put a plate in front of her piled with the stir fry, it smelled wonderful, and sat down with her own plate. They ate, Amber playing with her food until Ran threatened her if she did not eat she would force feed her so she ate a little. When done Ran cleared the table and the girls went into the living room. Ran sat next to Amber on the couch and held her hand.
"Ok, Ams, tell me what happened." She said kindly.
Amber told her friend everything, except the part where Sam hit her, and stared crying again. She told Ran of the problems they have been having since the start of school.
"…and it is all that bitch Carly Shay's fault! If it was not for her Sam would not have broken up with me!" Amber said with venom in her voice through her tears.
Ran smiled sadly, "Ams…I love you girl you know that, but I don't think she is to blame. It sounds like you and Sam did need a break. You too have been living together for a while and that can get to anyone."
"No! It is Carly's fault! She…she…she took her away from me! I hate her!"
Ran sighed, "Baby, I…she is…Carly is not that bad of a person. I got to know her a little and she is actually a nice girl."
Amber looked at Ran harshly, "Oh…so you are on her side now! She is taking you away from me like she took Sam away! I hate that bitch!"
"Ams, that is nonsense. Nothing or no one can take me away from you. I mean that, Amber. I would never let anything or anyone come between us. Never!" Ran said with such fierceness Amber did not doubt her. The Asian girl sighed, "We…you and I…are going to have a talk. Remember I love you and some things I tell you may hurt your feelings, but they need to be said. I want you to listen to me…deal?"
Amber looked defiant but nodded her head. She owed Ran so much so she would listen.
A/N – long I know, and I was not going to add the bit about Amber's parents but I needed people to understand the pain she is going through. Writing about a broken heart is hard for me since I never had one, no I am not bragging, just never felt the way Amber does before…wish I could through. Not the broken heart but being in love. It seems like a wonderful thing I have yet to experience.