Realities Warped!
By Jim Robert Bader
(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi and other artists too numerous to mention.
The Characters Chakar Shadowmane and Garimel Shalestar, however, was created by me, while Trella (RA Curtis) provided some of the characters and ideas that appear within this chapter, based on her series "Aiyaa, My Goddess!"
Use by anyone else is strictly verboten and will tend to get you in trouble with the Fanfic Police,
so be advised that plagiarism of actual copyrights is only permitted of published authors...you have been duly warned!
Chapter Eleven.
Booking the Fates
Continuum #00274138
"{Chakar often tells me that he does not want me to accompany him on his missions. He says that I lack subtlety and tend to fly off the handle at the least little provocation. He says that I need to curb my instinct for bloodshed, to practice more restraint and self-control when dealing with ordinary people. Now I ask you, is that anyway for a husband to talk to his wife?}"
"{Oh, absolutely!}" avowed Legate Gosunkugi as he felt the press of the tip of her sword under his chin, "{I mean-it is rude of him to speak to you that way, but husbands do try to think of what is best for their wives...don't you agree?}"
"{What is best for me?}" the white-haired demoness asked as she considered the question, "{I suppose he does have my best interests at stake, but Chakar could be a little more thoughtful at times. After all, I do try to restrain my impulses. After all, it's not my fault that I was raised to be a certain way, to act as divine judgement and executioner for the enemies of my family. Was not my mother Morrigar the White, feared by many as a living goddess of war, mayhem and destruction? Was not my uncle the dread Keir'Nunos, Master of the Hunt and persecutor of those who dared challenge our supremacy? Am I not the wielder of the Shalestar, one of the Twelve most august Starstones and by birthright the Mistress of Shark House? Why then should I deny who and what I am to live like other mortals when I was raised to hunt and slaughter my enemies without mercy, bringing ruin to those who would dare to threaten the ones I love and would protect? Is to do otherwise not against my very nature?}"
Hikaru Octavius Vesper Gosunkugi sweated bullets as he looked into the calm and inhumanly lovely face before him, hearing this madwoman pronounce these words as though making a casual comment about the weather, her tone and inflection hardly varying more than slightly as though she were not entirely there, as though her mind were somewhat addled or distracted, lending an almost impersonal quality about the way she framed her questions. To follow her actual words, however, was to conclude that she was nothing less than the daughter of a little remembered Celtic Goddess from one of the Western provinces, one who had seen her worship gradually coming back from the abyss with the revival of ancient Wiccaism. New age types, go figure! Not at all surprising that one of their flock might snap and actually come to the conclusion that she was, indeed, a Celtic goddess...
But, then again, common madwomen hardly burst into an Imperial palace and casually slaughtered anyone who got in her way, be their bodyguards or mere retainers. The way the caped swordwoman walked it was as though she owned the place and considered the occupants as mere tenants, and the confident authority in which she acted tended to lend credence to that assertion, as did the astonishing way in which she hurled power bolts left and right as though she were INDEED an actual goddess, and that sword in her hand...that was by no means an ordinary fencing weapon!
Bone white and over a meter long with a basket hilt that was elegant, even stylish, composed of no metal at all but rather actual enamel and bearing the curious title of "White Fang," it certainly had an effect that no earthly blade could hope to equal, and the woman held it easily as though she were fully versed in its most intricate usage, more like a surgeon than any mere fencer.
For his part Gosunkugi was an avowed Atheist, which meant that he believed in the Gods but did not truly **believe** in them, harboring deep suspicions that, deep down, they were hardly better than glorified people with lofty supernatural abilities. He had been fortunate enough not to have any direct encounters with the Gods, though he heard plenty of accounts from those who had, which tended to confirm his suspicions. At temple mass he would say the right prayers and invoke the beneficial protection of Jove and all his flock, but he really favored none of them in particular, preferring a more generalized ecumenical spirit of quite apostasy rather than to believe that the Gods could personally inflict their boons or curses at a whim upon the lives of ordinary mortals.
But this woman before him was scary enough to make Gosunkugi seriously reconsider his position. Her eyes...there was something about her eyes that pierced him to the soul and made him cringe inside as he silently whispered prayers for protection against Celtic demons. He had only to look around at the remains of his bodyguards (and not a few of his guests) to know that she was not one to tangle with lightly, and that to show her the slightest resistance or defiance was to court a death more gruesome than any he could ever remember seeing performed in a public circus.
At heart Gosunkugi was not a bad man, and he did not like his position all that much, having only accepted the Legacy as an obligation of his family, being entrusted by Rome to represent Imperial interests within the region. He would sometimes sit and attend boring meetings by local Senators droning on about this or that matter, wondering if such men were selected for their long-windedness and lack of elegance since little of any real consequence ever got seriously discussed in such meetings.
Recently, however, there had been all this business about the Governor being murdered, and his oldest son going missing while attending the execution of the Black Dragon and his rebels. Gosunkugi was being asked to conduct an inquiry about that, which was why he had reluctantly convened a meeting in the Great Imperial Hall so that a public forum could be employed for determining what exactly had gone wrong and why so many Roman soldiers had been left dead in the sands while crucified criminals were somehow mysteriously liberated from their crosses. Gosunkugi had only just called the emergency hearing to full order...
...When SHE walked-no-strode boldly into the chamber and demanded to know the whereabouts of some stranger whom Gosunkugi had never even heard of before this very moment.
"{I am asking you once more,}" the madwoman said calmly, "{Where is Chakar and why does his trail lead me to this chamber?}"
"{Y-Y-You must be mistaken, my Lady,}" Gosunkugi nervously stammered, "{There is no one here by that name-urk!}"
"{He goes by many names,}" the woman of white-gold spun hair replied as she tilted the little man's head back with the tip of her saber, "{You most probably would not recognize him unless he wanted to be recognized, but I know that he was here...I can feel it.}"
Somehow Gosunkugi knew that contradicting this assertion would not be a very wise career move on his part. Fortunately, just then, reinforcements arrived as heavily armed Centurions with their armored SWAT teams appeared from the corridor flanks with weapons trained on the white-gold madwoman and...
No, scratch that...there went those selfsame SWAT teams as the woman casually waved with her sword and sent the men to her left and right screaming back in horror at the wave of fire that seemed to engulf them.
"{This is not proving productive,}" the woman said as she turned her back on Gosunkugi and surveyed the ruin and devastation that she herself had engineered upon what had once been a crowded audience chamber, now full of smoking and sliced up bodies that littered the way from the dais to the exits, "{It is obvious enough that you do not have the information that I seek, so I will take my leave of you now and continue my hunt elsewhere.}"
"{Th-th-that would be most kind of you,}" Gosunkugi stammered as he cringed back in his throne-like legate's chair, "{Please do leave, and never mind about the mess you leave behind you...}"
Garimel turned a puzzled look at the pathetic ghost of a man who claimed to wield such absolute power over these people. Did he not know what real power was like? She would pity him for that, but she had seen enough on her way here to know that these people were monsters who drank the blood of their own children, the typical kind of brutality and barbarism that she had seen so much of in her six hundred-plus years of life, and it really was their fault if she killed so many of them. After all, they were the ones who attacked her, and if they had simply minded their business she would not have felt compelled to have to kill them. She was not an unnecessarily cruel person after all, just one bred to be instinctively and totally ruthless with her enemies, which she defined as anyone who stood between her and her objectives.
Still and all, he was rather pathetic looking, so she sheathed her sword and continued with her mission.
"{Why do you suffer to sit like that when you are unhappy?}" Garimel asked with a backward glance before moving forward once again, "{There is so much good you could do to the world if you were not such a pathetic coward.}"
"{Ah...well...I'd hardly say that was called for...}" Gosunkugi murmured in mild petulance as he watched the caped woman turn and walk away from the ruins of what had moments ago been a magnificent chamber. He was going to have to do something about all this mess, assign some slaves to pick things up, including the bits of charred and blackened people, and what was he going to say to the families of the men who had died? That they served to protect their Legate from harm? The woman could have slaughtered them all without a single thought and he well knew it. It was only by her own whims that she was leaving now with the task merely half finished.
But then he saw more troops appear at both ends of the chamber and his heart sank to the bottom of his sandals. Truly the Gods must not have liked him that day, either that or they were adding the final jest to what had been an otherwise complete and total disaster.
These men opened fire on Garimel, spraying her with bullets, all of which were deflected off of her personal force shield as she stood unharmed in their midst, as well shielded as though she held an umbrella against a light rain while bullets ricocheted and struck anything else that was not similarly protected, including each other.
"{I have no time for you,}" she said in dismissal, and like that she drew her sword from its scabbard once again, making two quick passes before returning it to its scabbard. Then she continued forward, as heedless of these men as though they had all been frozen instantly into statues.
"{What are you waiting for, fools?}" one of their officers roared, "{Don't just stand there, shoot her!}"
"{They cannot,}" Garimel said as she continued on right past him, not even giving the officer a side glance as she was already summoning up her power and preparing to walk through shadows.
The officer was about to ask what she meant when the first of his men toppled over, followed one by one by the rest as their bodies slid to the floor...but not in single intact pieces. It took a few more seconds before the blood started to spray from severed arteries and sliced capillaries, causing the floor to run red with a pool of dark crimson that would make normal walking across the way a rather unpleasant prospect.
But then the sound of crackling filled the chamber next, and the officer turned with dawning horror in is expression as he saw the pillared supports begin to tumble off their moorings, some of these steel-reinforced marble columns sliced cleanly through so that the top part slid off of the bottom half at an angle, and with them removed much of the support for the ceiling itself began to crumble, prompting the officer to turn his eyes heavenward and say, "{Uh oh...}"
Gosunkugi watched as the chamber began to collapse in on itself, reflecting in an "Oh well" kind of way that at least this would spare him from having to write a report to Rome explaining this fiasco. If he failed to survive that would let him off the hook completely, and maybe the Gods would give him a special dispensation for a last-minute conversion. Either way, there would be a heck of a mess for the ones to survive to have to explain to somebody, and Gosunkugi would rather not have been the one to make that report to Caesar, otherwise his death would be far less pleasant that merely being crushed under tones of stone, brick and metal.
He did rather wonder who this Chakar fellow was in the moments he had left, however, and as he saw the ceiling come crashing in he gave silent pity to the man when the demoness caught up with him, because heaven itself did not have that much pity, and anyone who had someone like that for a wife had to be a saint of some kind, either that or possessed of the patience of a God or goddess...
Continuum #52413783 Gate of Ashkalon
For some strange reason I had this indescribable urge to sneeze all of a sudden. On reflection that does beat the feeling of someone walking over your grave, but only by a fair margin. As omens go, it means that someone out there is thinking about me, and considering the list of my enemies, which vastly exceeds that of my friends, that stands to reason it's not in my favor.
I've arrived at a place where I most definitely do not want to be, the gate of Ashkalon, which is sometimes known as the Gate of Judgement. Here you pass beyond at your extreme peril as the Gods have rigged it as a kind of Ultimate Truth Detector, and whatever your manifest destiny might be you will surely confront it if you attempt to mount the stairs leading up to a higher level of being.
Metaphorically speaking it is the Siege Perilous of gateways, and by tradition lovers can pass through the portal holding hands to test the truth of their love and the fitness of their union...at least in theory. Beyond you will find whatever destiny is awaiting you, and that's entire the problem since the rules change with everyone who attempts such an entry. No one is entirely perfect, not even the Gods, and the gate tests compatibility as well as actual merit.
You may wonder about what kind of a system sets tests that cannot actually be fulfilled, but then there are a lot of mysteries to which even Starlords were never privy. We may last centuries and gain much in the way of knowledge and wisdom, but we're a far cry from all knowing, and while we may seem like Gods to the scale of ordinary mortals, we're really just glorified mortals ourselves, while real Gods are an entirely different order of being all together. I've known lots of gods in my time, too many to actually believe in any one of them, but collectively they each comprise a piece of a greater cosmic enigma, and what we do with the aid of our Starstones for some is entirely natural. That put the odds a bit too much in their favor, which makes what I came here to do either an act of rash folly or ultimate madness.
But then again, nobody ever said my job was easy.
I glance around, surveying my surroundings with more than just the casual five senses, my vision shifting to where I see through my Starstone the energy patterns that lace the entire plateau, harmonizing my own resonance so that I can draw upon the surplus field of energy to reinforce my own reserves of power, all the while keen to sense the presence of another intelligence, one stronger and far more resilient than myself, which can imply only one thing...
I've come to the right place and the "Bad Guy" is about to make his entry.
Still I wait for it, my cloak swirling around me even though there is hardly any breeze. Here I can feel only the slight presence of any shadow, which limits me on more than one aspect as it means that I'll be confined to playing by his rules instead of my own. That's not a good situation by any stretch, but I've no choice but to let him make the first move, all but daring him to show his face by remaining impassive. I know better than to commit myself ahead of time, especially as I don't know the full strength of my adversary. I'm feeling his presence more than actually sensing his location, so there is no sense in behaving rashly, even given that I have only the vaguest idea of what he is attempting to achieve here, and how exactly he intends to use those kids he grabbed up from those various timelines.
At length my patience is rewarded as I hear him say, "Starlord. Your name is Shadowmane, is it not?"
"I'm called that by some," I reply without looking around, "Along with a lot of other things that aren't quite as flattering."
I sense a soft chuckle more than I actually hear it, and then he appears at last, manifesting a good forty meters away from where I am standing, tall and black haired with clearly Asiatic features and wearing a garment that's unnecessarily elaborate and formal. Of course looks aren't everything, and I can tell that his wardrobe is actually a functional design of really advanced technology, the kind the Gods have been using for centuries to augment their natural abilities, and which links them directly to the Yggdrasil system. I study his outline and sense even more that his appearance is merely an illusion, that his outward self is a manifestation rather than an actual body, and that there is a symbiotic host providing him with a platform whose general form I can vaguely detect beneath the pattern of his make-up, concentrated around an object mounted in a brooch worn over a child's breastbone. I narrow my eyes as I recognize this, and suddenly the game is a lot more dangerous and deadly than even I had bargained on. Ylan was not kidding about him being both resourceful and ruthless, and given what else I had heard I know that I'm facing the most dangerous opponent of all...a dedicated fanatic.
"I have heard of you," the figure of the man addresses me, as calm as a cucumber, "Lord Greystar of the House of the Wolf. Some call you an assassin, others a hero, and still more a butcher. They say you are the Grand Executioner who carries out the will of the Starlord council..."
"I act in their name," I reply, "When it suits me."
"So," the figure smiles, "They have sent you to stop me, eh?"
"Either that or to talk you out of it," I reply, "I won't lie about it, I'd rather use words than persuasion."
"I fear that neither will be effective against me," the man replies, "I have had centuries to plan for this moment, and now that I am close to achieving my goal..."
"You mean like you tried to do back on that other timeline?" I counter before nodding at the man's odd ornament and saying, "That's the Ginzuishou, isn't it? The Silver Millennium Crystal that belongs to the royal house of the ancient Moon Kingdom. Only Serenity's line was able to use it to full effect. What did you do, pry it from the cold, dead fingers of her rightful heir and graft it into your own totem?"
"Regrettably, even I cannot use the Ginzuishou by myself without the proper assistance," he explains, "Fortunately there is one of Serenity's line by a cadet branch who is able to use it, and through her I can channel the energies that I will need to achieve my objective."
"That kid you're using for a host," I said, "She's descended from the Moon Kingdom?"
"Indirectly, but yes," the man explains, "A curious fusion of several bloodlines into one. Both Tendo and Saotome clans are descended from the Kingdom of Serenity, as are other families of prominent lineage going back well beyond Samurai times. This child was born with undiscovered potential that she might otherwise never have realized on her own, and on top of this she is Temporally destabilized, which allows me to use her for a cross-Paratime Quantum catalytic shift..."
"But what do you hope to accomplish with all this?" I ask, "You failed the last time and caused the universe you were in to be infected..."
"I miscalculated," the man answers, "This time I will use more caution and there will be a very different outcome."
"Not if you live to be older than my grandfather," I say slowly, "You tried to create paradise by force-feeding it to an entire planet. You must know by now that reality doesn't work that way..."
"I have found a way of getting around that problem," he reveals, "Believe me, everything has been taken into consideration and the formula that I have been working out will surely triumph..."
"I'll bet that's what you said to the people of your universe before you snapped," I counter, "Did you lure Saotome into your clutches by promising to clear up that fianc e mess of his? Or did you just catch him at a bad moment?"
"I used what opportunities were afforded to me, yes," my opponent acknowledges with that I take to be a look of sincere contrition, "But it was necessary and just. You know that Saotome, more than any, would benefit greatly from the changes that I mean to engineer. I only need a few more components and the spell will be completed within the hour, then even Heaven will not bar the gates of my ascension..."
"You really think the outcome will be any better this time around?" I ask tensely, waiting for the moment to shift as I'm pretty sure that this guy's already got me covered six ways from Sunday, "Even Gods like you have their limits..."
"Like me, perhaps," this fellow nods, "But I was only a low ranking member of the Council before, and now...I have the advantage of the Ginzuishou...and one who is properly suited to its usage. You know of whom I speak, don't you?"
I let my eyes widen as I start to put it all together, then it comes to me with startling clarity, this grand master plan of his, and I'm like, "D'oh!" for not having figured it out with all the clues he dropped right up to this moment. Aloud what I say is, "You really think she's going to come and fall right into your grasp?"
"I expect her to arrive at any time now," he says confidently, "The lure has been set and the bait has already been taken. She will come and then I will have everything that I need for the great ceremony to take place, and not even her fabled Guardian protector will stand in the path of doing what I must do..."
"You're crazier than a loon, you know that?" I ask as I tense up, waiting to see if I can provoke him into attacking.
To my surprise he just shrugs and says, "Perhaps...but if this is madness, then it will be a madness that I embrace, because to allow things to remain as they are will be to invite even more madness that is to follow. You know of what I speak, Grey Lord, you who are sworn to protect the Balance between the light and the dark halves of the cosmos. 'Moderation in all things' is the standard that you swear by, but you know as well as I that even the most tempered moderation must allow the existence of extremes of good and evil...and you know the true nature of evil itself, why the Gods tolerate its continuous infection of all that is pure and noble, why they even allowed it to come into existence in the first place!"
"The Chaos War was a very long time ago," I say, "The wounds may run deep and the scars may never have completely healed, but humanity has come a long way from those times to this, and you can't just negate that existence. Even the Gods would be affected..."
"Exactly!" he raises a finger, "The Gods, with their arrogance, would be made to face at last the consequences of their actions, their indifference to suffering and their gross perpetuation of a monstrous injustice! Take this gate of Judgement, for example...why right does any being have to decide the fate of another? By what standard are mortals to be judged by we who are little better than mortals ourselves for all our lofty powers and pretension? An immortal life does not guarantee either infallibility or omniscience..."
"Yeah, I know," I snort, "In the old days you guys weren't much better than children playing with your toys, and if you tended to break a few, well, what of it?"
"But then the system that exists today came into effect," he waves a hand at the gates for emphasis, "And things have never been the same for either gods or mortals, have they, Starlord? Everything is regulated now, stamped and numbered and categorized with each assigned their given place in time and position..."
"Yeah, but there's a lot of flexibility in that system," I argue, "And people are given the right of free will to make their own choices and mistakes..."
"Which they employ all too frequently to disastrous ends," he dismisses, "Free will is overrated. How much freedom does a poor man have to choose the path of his own destiny? What choices do the ignorant, the mentally handicapped and the undereducated to know the range of opportunities that are to be found for the asking? Once all beings were equal in the sight of the Unimind, but now some are not only more equal than others, but all but guaranteed to come out ahead while the vast majority get tossed into the scrap heap!"
"And they call me a cynic," I say aloud, more in acknowledgement than any further attempt to bait him.
"Are you not the one who once said that a cynic is nothing more than a fallen idealist spat out after being chewed in the teeth of reality?" he argues back at me, "If I am cynical it is because my idealism was betrayed a very long time ago when I saw the pitiable way in which humanity has struggled to climb back from the dirt to the enlightenment all treasure. You say that they have choices? Well, most choose foolishly to wallow in darkness and expend their petty mortal lives in unfulfilled schemes at self-betterment, or just simple survival. For every one who manages to achieve great things there are thousands who fail and thousands more who suffer hideously in starvation, poverty and oppression."
"Nobody ever said the system was fair," I reply to that, "It's just a heck of a lot better than the alternative..."
"Who says that the system is not fair?" I actually see him get angry on this point, "Many prophesies and prognostications keep promising humanity that better times are ahead, that a Golden Age is only just around the corner, that soon the powers of Light will overthrow the Darkness and create a paradise on Earth free from war, strife and corruption! Entire religions base their singular right to exist upon the premise that we, the Gods, will take notice of their struggling and act to ease their sorrows by establishing a system of perfect peace and order! Every trace of human weakness will be expunged and instead all will find their niche in the greater cosmic order. Evil will be obliterated utterly and the meek will be given their place in the Kingdom of Heaven!"
"Sounds like a Socialist Utopia to me," I argue.
He actually laughs at my little joke, "Are you not also the one who says that all governments are Socialist in character, that they only differ in the degree to which they attempt to manage the economy and affairs of their citizenry? Well, that certainly is true of the Heaven I know and was once a part of...a perfect worker's paradise managed from the top down by lofty administrators dedicated to maintaining the public welfare, and never mind the inefficiencies and petty injustices that might sometimes crop up as the machinery of the Heavens grinds on and chews up lives as its daily fodder. Fix the system so that it runs perfectly? How! I tried doing that from inside the system and got nowhere! The only way that paradise could ever be achieved is either to manage directly every person's individual lives, which means eliminating those elements that do not fit into the perfect picture, or..."
"Elevate the consciousness of all mortal beings," I nod grimly, "Make them more like Gods but with full understanding of their nature and kinship."
"Exactly," he notes in what I take to be a disturbing imitation of me when I'm making a point in a lecture, "And we both know what that led to in the times of the Ancients. Lofty ambitions were spurred by those who explored the limits of their powers, and before long they began experimenting and indulging their slightest whim to the ruination of the entire planet..."
"Took a couple million years for that to happen, way I hear it," I say as I study him more closely and try to pick out the composition of those energy laces that he's using to surround the child with his adult manifestation, "But I take it you've figured out a third way?"
"A compromise of sorts," he replies, "Allow humanity to grow somewhat beyond their present limitations, but divide the power equally and spread it evenly over the diverse tribes of humanity so that their consciousness can be united into a recreation of the Group Mind once enjoyed by the ancients. Then structure the Machine so that no one wants or desires a portion that is greater than any others, that all become aware of how the pain of one can affect the many, and encourage them to create a greater community based on love and cooperation, not selfishness and fear. This will become the new paradise on Earth, where there will be no more leaders and followers, no more rich and poor. To each his own measure of ability, to each the means to achieve his or her desire..."
"Communism," I note for the record, "It's not natural, though...the only way to sustain that is through purely artificial means..."
"Oh, believe me when I say that I have factored that into my calculations," he assures me, "But once the system is in place it will be self-sustaining as people will no longer view themselves as separate from one another but will instead find joy in learning to act cooperatively. Soon it will become the natural way for all to behave, and no one will even remember the dark times of the present, when they could walk by a person who was suffering and not be moved to act with compassion rather than condescension and pity. There will no longer be a need to test a person's worth and merits since everyone's talents will be recognized as individual components to the greater whole..."
"But what's the point of all this?" I ask, "If there's no suffering, then there's no need for betterment, no struggle for self-improvement..."
"Why struggle at all?" he asks, "Let the group mind enlighten you, let it help you achieve your basic needs and desires, then you will not want for anything beyond the happiness of a family and the close friendship of your neighbors..."
"So," I frown, "You're just gonna give them this on a silver platter."
"I see no reason to leave anyone out of the new Kingdom," he argues, "Those who do evil now and act from selfish motivation will have cause to regret their short-sightedness and will amend their ways once they understand how their actions have affected others. Evil will no longer exist because people will know how to balance out their light and dark halves...the chaos and disharmony in which evil flourishes will be no more. The cycle will be broken and the deep scars of the Chaos War will finally be healed."
"And all people have to do is surrender to your new and perfect system," I summarize, "But what about the demon kingdoms? Won't they be free to plague and corrupt humanity? Won't ordinary human beings lack the strength to resist their influence?"
"Again you underestimate my plans," he assures me, "The demons will be locked away in their respective hells because there will be nothing for them to influence and affect in the new humanity. Without the corruption of evil to leave the opening they need, the dark beings of the Klypoth will have nothing to grasp or manipulate. No petty fears, rage or jealousy will upset them. There will be no fuel upon which the Dark Ones can feast, only the light of the soul, which repels them. The Unimind will block out the darker forces that seek a toehold in reality, and beings such as Satanos and Tulpa will starve without a steady supply of dark soul energy to sustain them."
"Think you've got this all figured out, have you?" I say as I continue to probe, looking for the weak spot that I can use to disrupt his overall pattern, "And nobody's gonna stop you from carrying this out?"
"That is what you are here to do is it not, my lord Greystar?" my opponent smiles in a way that disturbs me more than a little, "The powers you serve stand to lose much if I reshape all of existence to fit my ends. But there is no reason why the two of us must be enemies. You serve the Balance itself, not the Starlord Dominion. Join with me and we will create a new balance together..."
"Tempting, but I'm gonna have to decline," I say as I draw my sword and salute him, "Paradise would give me nothing to do for a living, and I'm too young to think about retirement at this stage."
"So be it," he nods respectfully back as he stretches out a hand and conjures up some kind of fancy blade that just pops right into existence at his silent command, "A shame really. You of all people should understand what I am attempting to achieve here. Is my plan not the fulfillment of all that you yourself aspire towards?"
"Somewhat, yes," I say, "But I'd rather let things evolve naturally instead of trying to tear down the system before you recreate it."
"Then I will respect you wishes in this," he said as he raises his blade in salute, "But just so you know for the record, you have absolutely no chance of defeating me in battle."
"Mind if I test that theory out first?" I reply, "Oh...and by the way, isn't Celestine supposed to be a girl's name?"
I attack instantly as I see him flicker for an instant at that verbal barb, but he recovers faster than I can strike and ripostes my thrust then casually disengages me to make a backhand slash that I barely manage to evade, and I know at once that I'm in for the fight of my life because he hardly even seems to be trying while I'm employing the full measure of my 3000+ years of experience just to push my way past his outer defenses. This guy is gonna be a tough nut to crack, that's for certain, but I don't dare lose this fight since I'm pretty sure that to lose will mean a lot more than my own life is at stake, and if I fail now then there'll be nobody left to stop Celestine but Saotome...
And believe me, the idea of falling back upon him ain't no ideal picnic...
Continuum: #73421895
"GAH!" the creature cried as it flinched back in terror, "Get it away from me, GET IT AWAY FROM ME! AKANE-NABIKI-!"
"Hah?" Ranma said as he saw the cowering cat-faced boy being comforted by a feline-faced pair of teenaged girls, all of them covered in light body fur with bushy tails and pointy ears that swerved like radar, whiskers twitching with fangs and claws bared in a hiss of warning.
"Well," Nabiki remarked, "This is different..."
"Who are you?" growled a short, black-maned human-sized as she took a defensive stance and guarded her section of the dojo, "And what are you doing in my house?"
"Oh wonderful," Peorth rolled her eyes, "This must be one of Bast's worlds, her answer to the Planet of the Apes..."
"Look," said a brown-maned Cheshire, "If you don't leave now we'll call the cops and have you evicted..."
"But I am a cop," Ranma countered as he stared at human-cat hybrids and most especially at his own counterpart, a Tom Cat with a pigtail who was cringing in the corner and shaking like a leaf in wild-eyed terror.
"Oh my," said a brown-furred Angora, "Then you had best leave now unless you have a search warrant. I don't mean to be rude, but..."
"Let me guess," Nabiki said as she nodded towards the cowering Cat-version of Ranma, "His Daddy once tied him up in sausages and dropped him into a pit of starving people?"
"Why, yes," the tall angora marveled, "How did you know that?"
"...Lucky guess..." was all Nabiki managed to utter as she stared at the lolling mound of white and black fur that was playing innocent in the far corner.
"I think we had better leave," Peorth suggested, "This is definitely another one of Celestine's false leads."
"You think?" Ranma said as he turned back to his wife, "Nabiki?"
"Already on it, Ranma-kun," Nabiki led the way as they turned and strolled away from the furry versions of themselves, the walls of the dojo already shimmering as they shifted to yet another dimension.
"Well, that certainly was fun," remarked Happosai, "Wonder how many more of these alternate worlds we'll get to see before we find what we're looking for."
"Not too many I hope," Ranma shuddered in delayed reaction.
Nabiki noticed this and said, "I thought you were over your aluraphobia."
"So did I," Ranma took a deep breath to steady himself once again, "But that place was a little too freaky, know what I mean?"
"Oh yes," Nabiki nodded, "I understand completely."
"Well now," Peorth raised an eyebrow, "We seem to have hit another of Celestine's markers. I wonder what we'll find this...?"
All at once there were explosions all around them, small and large detonations that caused sparks to sputter and walls to shake with flash-bang effects going off all around them. Ranma and his companions all halted in mid-motion to take in the scene right before a lithe figure came hurtling through the midst of the bedlam, performing a nearly impossible acrobatic stunt while pointing some kind of handweapon back the way he had just come and squeezing off what sounded like a full magazine clip of bullets. He landed again with cat-like grace and straightened out in time to find himself face-to-face with an unexpected obstacle in his way, but before he could dodge around the equally startled Peorth another figure rose up from the sidelines and pointed a gun towards the other gun-toting figure.
"Have a taste of the Transvestite Ray, Space Hunter!" cried the new arrival as he pulled the trigger and unleashed a stream of water at his intended target, splashing him and causing an altogether familiar transformation to occur as black hair became red and the masculine shoulders slendered down considerably while filling out in the chest area and shrinking down in stature to more compact dimensions.
"CUUUUTTT!" someone cried from off to their right as Ranma and Nabiki whirled around to see an entire film crew on hand, complete with cameras, mirrors, lighting and sound booms, not to mention a very irate looking director.
Of course Peorth was a bit slow to acknowledge this fact as presently the redhead-having been disoriented by the burst of water in her face-continued on forward and stumbled into the goddess, knocking them both to the floor in a sprawl with the redhead winding up on top and Peorth looking up, mildly stunned, from the bottom.
"What the hell is this?" screamed a man with the word "Director" written large upon the back of his vest, "Who let these people on the stage? And why is that big guy in costume?"
"Costume?" Ranma arched an eyebrow.
"For the Terminator sequence that we're shooting on stage twelve," said a familiar voice as a version of Nabiki dressed in shorts and a tank-top eased past him to position herself above the still-surprised redhead, "Better get up, Ranma-kun, if you want to avoid our fearless leader bursting a blood vessel with an apoplexy. You know how much it costs him every time they have to reset the squibs and get everything back into position..."
"Man, how many more takes is it gonna be?" complained the gunman holding the fancy water pistol, whose voice drew a startled gasp out of Ranma, who placed him at once in spite of his unusual choice of wardrobe.
"As many as it's going to take, Pantsaru!" the Director snapped, before glaring at Ranma and growling, "What's the matter with you people? I said get off the set right now, and get back to the wardrobe department! What the hell do you think this is, people, a Tour?"
"Um..." Nabiki glanced at the younger version of herself then to the man and said, "We're sorry...I don't know how this could have happened..."
"You okay, lady?" the redhead asked as she offered a hand to help Peorth regain her footing.
"Ah...yes, more or less," she replied, "I'm...somewhat more resilient than I appear..."
The man with the sunshades made an appreciative whistling noise and mused, "That's for damned sure. Mama-Mia, where you been hiding yourself in this dump, Gorgeous?"
"Knock it off, Pantyhose," the redhead countered.
"Make me, Fem-boy," the shades-wearing Pantyhose Taro cheerfully sniped back, "And remember on this set I'm Taro Astaru, no more of that 'Pantyhose' stuff for me when I'm a big star and you're yesterday's leftovers."
"Yeah, yeah, sure," the redhead sniffed as if this were an old joke between them, then she turned to the older Ranma and said, "You guys messed it up for us, but I guess these things just kind of happen. Of course, the Boss man won't see it that way, so you got any next of kin to ship your remains to?"
"More like a forwarding address," Ranma replied, "And what the heck is...all this?" he waved a hand to include the entire soundstage.
The Nabiki holding a clip-board gave the older Time Cops a casual smile and said, "We're shooting the big action scene for the new 'Space Hunter' video. It comes with the CD-ROM game as part of a big multimedia package...and I don't remember seeing either of you anywhere on this set before. You do look kind of familiar, though, so..."
"I don't believe it," Taro removed his glasses and stared at Ranma, "Fem-boy? Is that you?"
"Huh?" the redhead beside him asked, "What do you mean is it me?"
Rather than clarify his question, Taro raised his handweapon and squeezed the trigger, unleashing another spray of water, this time directly at the Time-Cop version of Ranma.
"Hey!" Ranma cried as he began to shrink down a few centimeters and lost some mass...or rather had it distributed to other portions of her anatomy, her leather outfit similarly shrinking to accommodate her diminished stature. The change in hair color from black to red was also rather hard to miss, causing the clip-board in Nabiki's hands to hit the floor as she too stared in wordless wonder.
The other redhead gawked at the transformation and said, "Hey...but...you look like...!"
"Man, Pantyhose," Ranma-chan the older complained, "What did you have to go and do that for?"
"I knew it!" Taro declared, "Don't ask me how, but I knew it was you, Saotome!"
"Saotome?" the redhead beside him declared, "No way! She's older than me, and I'm not sagging either!"
"Sagging?" Ranma-chan sputtered, "You care to repeat that, Shrimp?"
"Timetravel?" the younger Nabiki asked.
"In a manner of speaking," the older Nabiki answered, "You might say that you'll be me in a few years...now...would you mind clearing up a few details? I'm a little unsure what part of my past this is supposed to represent..."
"Why...don't you know?" the younger Nabiki asked, "Ranma-kun's a big action star, and I'm his agent."
"Agent?" the older Nabiki cocked an eyebrow, "Then who...?"
All at once the answer to her question presented itself in the form of four women who appeared almost simultaneously offering towels to the two Ranmas to dry themselves off with. Their names were instantly identifiable, but Nabiki was more than a bit startled to find that one of the four was none other than, "Kaori?"
"Are you up for another round, Ranma-kun?" asked the brown-haired Delivery girl as she offered the redhead some ramen.
"You sure chewed up the set with that stunt, Ranchan," said a casually dressed Ukyo, her hair done up in a ponytail and the garments she was wearing leaving little doubt of her actual sex.
"Aiyaa, Airen always look good no matter what she doing," said a cheerful Shampoo, who was herself wearing something oddly high-tech and yet flattering to her anatomy.
"Hohohohohoho!" an equally cheerful Kodachi said as she held up a hot water container, "Change you back to your magnificent self, my darling Ranma-sama?"
"Akane split the scene a couple of years back," the younger Nabiki explained to her older counterpart, "Said she couldn't take the pressure, that she didn't know Ranma-kun anymore, that he's been too busy shooting on locations all over the planet and she wanted to stay in Japan and pursue her education." The younger Nabiki leaned closer to her older counterpart and said, "Personally, I think she just wanted to spend more time out of the spotlight with her girlfriend. You know how the press can be sometimes, always prying into every little detail..."
"I see," the older Nabiki said, then blinked and repeated the word, "Girlfriend?"
"Ayakawa Madoka," her younger self answered, "Remember her? The Biker chick we met when Ranma-kun was filming 'Flying Tigers IV?'"
"Oh," Nabiki answered, filing away this information for later, as well as meaning to rent out that selfsame video title once she got back to headquarters.
"Uh...let me see if I got this right," said Ranma-chan as she saw her younger counterpart turn into a handsome stud of around his early twenties, who was promptly flanked by all four of his closest female companions, "You're a movie star?"
"What was your first hint?" chuckled the now-restored Ranma-kun, seeming quite comfortable about having four beautiful girls pressing in close to his well-
defined upper chest, "What's the matter, jealous?"
"Ah..." Ranma-chan was just attempting to think up an answer for that when the director sayd, "YOU!"
"Hah?" asked Peorth, seeing the director was pointing her way.
"What's your name?" he demanded, "No, skip that! We'll come up with a name for you! You're perfect, and that costume! Somebody snap a picture, quick! I want some test reels and still footage! Get some make-up down here, we have a Diva that I've just discovered, a newfound Cinema Goddess!"
"Er...well..." Peorth reluctantly stammered.
"Yeow!" yelped one of the camera girls, "Who pinched me!"
"Ew-get it off of me!" cried one of the other female stage hands, who was presently fetching a make-up kit for the director.
"What is that thing, a lawn gnome?" cried a blonde as she tried to dislodge the little man now clinging to her bare leg.
"KOWABUNGA!" Happosai cried in delight as he let go of one female victim and launched himself at another.
"Hey, who let that creep get on this stage?" the younger Ranma demanded.
"Never mind!" snarled Taro, "He's mine! Someone get me a real weapon, I'm hunting perverts!"
Ranma-chan sighed, "That old guy must think he's in hog heaven-HEY!"
"This is no time to screw around, Ranma-kun," said Nabiki as she put down the borrowed pot of hot tea that someone was serving from a tray, "We have serious work to do, and I'm getting awfully tired of all these little distractions..."
"You!" the Director pointed at the Time Agent, "You're her at an older age?"
"Hah?" TC Nabiki asked, "Well..."
The Director whirled about and looked at the younger Nabiki, then contrasted her with the older one, then said, "Somebody get me a contract! Tendo-san, you greedy, green-hearted tight-fisted little hacker, why didn't you tell me you were gonna look like that in a few years? I'm having you tested right away! If you pass I'll give you a long-term contract, even more generous than I gave to Saotome!"
"Huh?" the younger Nabiki blinked, though it sounded almost like a cash-register ringing somewhere when she recovered her wits enough to ask, "How generous are these terms you're proposing...?"
"Hey, why is she going to get more than me?" the younger Ranma immediately protested.
"Genetics, Junior," the older Timecop smirked, only to get a startled look as he suddenly found himself at the center of attention for the Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi and Kaori of this timeline.
"Is true, he look like Airen, only much more handsome!" declared the Amazon.
"On man, Ranchan, did you ever mellow out with age!"
"Like fine wine, I quite agree..."
"Served up raw like sushi..." Kaori winked, "Ever eat it in the raw? You can use my body for a tray if you like..."
"Ah..." Ranma suddenly found himself confronted with feminine pulchritude many times more alluring than even the memories of his childhood, proof positive that these girls had definitely improved with age, and that at twenty a girl definitely blossomed out into a woman...rather more woman than he was ready to handle at the moment as he said with a note of panic, "Nabiki...?"
His wife just heaved a sigh and grabbed him by the collar, calling out over her shoulder, "Sorry, girls, but this version is most definitely taken. Coming, Mom?"
"Um...right," Peorth reluctantly turned away from the pestering director, who was going on about doing something to conceal the odd facial markings that distinguished her as a goddess linked with Yggdrasil.
"Taken?" the four women pressing in on TC Ranma halted in their tracks with startled looks, then as one they turned and glared towards the younger Nabiki, who gulped in response and considered her chances at making a hasty exit in one piece.
"Hey, wait for me!" Happosai cried as he was chased their way by a score of enraged and vengeful female actresses and crew members, only to vanish at the last instant as he made a hasty leap to catch up with the floating tails of the goddess.
Ranma watched his older self disappear then said, "What just happened?"
"Geez, Fem-boy," Taro snapped as he, too, halted in his chase, "Ain't you ever gone to the movies? That was you from the future, and why is it you always have the fool's luck with the women?"
"The future?" the Director said as though struck by a two-by-four, and then he cried in delight, "THAT'S IT! Somebody get me a scriptwriter, I've got an idea for a rewrite!"
"I'll settle for a happy ending myself, thank you!" cried Nabiki as she ran for her trailer with four angry women in hot pursuit, wondering what in the heck she had ever done to deserve this, and fearing to ask it as someone might present a list...
Continuum #29715382
"Here we are!" Meiko cheerfully called out as she brought her winged steed down for another four-hoofed smooth landing, "This is the place where we need to be if we're to start to recruit the kind of allies we'll need, Sis."
Ranko glanced around at what appeared to be a perfectly normal version of the suburb where the Tendo house was located. She dismounted easily then said, "Okay, we're here, but you sure we'll find the allies we need? Looks just like the same old block back home to me..."
"Not quite," Meiko nodded over towards the gates of the Tendo compound, "Take a look over there and tell me if that looks familiar."
"Huh?" Ranko glanced over her shoulder, then she did a rapid double-take and cried, "What the heck is that?"
"Dad's Tower of Sorcery on this timeline, of course," Meiko replied as she waved a hand at the multi-storied round stone structure located in the back of the yard, "Where he-or, I mean-she practices Sorcery like she learned from Aunt Siren."
"Who's aunt Siren?" Ranko asked, then blinked, "Wait a minute...isn't she that crazy blonde Amazon witch who was always chasing after great-grandmother Cologne?"
"Chased and caught her here," Meiko chuckled, "And you ought to meet their daughter. In fact, that could be here coming this..."
A loud explosion caught Ranko by surprise, but she rolled with the shockwave and recovered easily enough, turning in time to see a fleet-footed redhead chasing after a tall dark-haired girl with enormous breasts, the latter laughing in the manner of Ranko's beloved aunt Kodachi while her pursuer was shouting out an angry, "YOU GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT, NAGHA! HOW DARE YOU PULL SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON ME-!"
"Now, now, my dear Lina," chuckled the taller girl, "Where's your sense of humor? Really, all this fuss over a perfectly harmless little prank."
"Harmless?" the redhead snarled before pointing with a finger and crying, "FIREBALL!"
Ranko was startled to see flames leap out from the fingertips of the redhead, only to find the tall girl whirled around and deflected by blast by erecting an ice shield. Both girls then vanished as they leaped over the fence and into the Tendo compound, leaving Ranko to stare in disbelief while Meiko just gave her a wry look of knowing amusement."
"Those two...?" Ranko began.
"Yup," Meiko agreed with her American drawl, "Saotome Lina and her half-sister, Naghi. They're our counterparts form this timeline, and they're both powerful Sorceresses in training. One specializes in fire spells, the other in water and ice. Now, the others ought to be around here somewhere, I..."
"Looking for someone?" asked a beautiful girl dangling upside down, her long flaming hair dangling down almost to the ground while the rest of her hung weightless above them.
"Honeysuckle!" Meiko cried in delight, "Sis, this is our half-sister, Honeysuckle. Guess you can tell who her mom is. Now if only we can find Anhket..."
"She's around," the floating girl righted herself and then continued to hover off the ground while she folded her arms and legs as though leaning back on a recliner, "So, this is Ranko, huh? Nice to meet you, Sis. I take it you want us all to be going on another big adventure?"
"That's it in a nutshell, I'm afraid," Meiko nodded, "Think we can get Lina and Naghi to calm down long enough to hold a powwow? And...is Lyne anywhere about?"
"In answer to your first question, maybe," Honeysuckle replied, "As to your second, sorry...she got called away to Valkyrie practice. I know that she'll be sorry she missed you, but..."
"Valkyrie practice?" Ranko belatedly made the connection, "You mean Kuno Lyne Reiko?"
"Oh yeah," Meiko nodded, "She told me you'd met before. Too bad...she's the one who taught me how to ride with the Valkyries like one of the Einhaller, Oh well...guess we can make do with what we've got, especially considering we'll need all the firepower we can get on short notice..."
"Why?" Honeysuckle asked, "What are we going up against this time, another dragon?"
"No, just a god who's out to destroy all of reality as we know it," Meiko shrugged, "Pretty standard stuff, really."
"I wish I could say different," Ranko murmured then shrugged, "Well...guess it's nice to meet you and you...um...our sisters. So, here's the story as much as I know so far, but Meiko-chan here seems to know a lot more about it. It all began when she got kidnapped from our dojo..."
"By a god?" the floating Honeysuckle asked.
"Yeah, I know," Meiko sniffed, "Could have been worse, could have been another Frost giant..."
"Hey, are you telling this part or me?" Ranko asked, then she continued, "Anyway I was working out in the dojo when, all of a sudden, this guy just pops out of nowhere and seizes hold of Meiko-chan..."
"And you dive after me to try and rescue me but got lost," Meiko supplied when she saw Ranko look at her crossly and hastily amended, "I know...I'll shut up now..."
"No," Ranko sighed, "Actually that's all that I remember. It was your turn anyway to tell the rest of the story."
"Oh, and I will," Meiko replied, "After we gather the others, and then we go find Dad and Mom before the bad guy croaks them."
"Croaks them?" this time Honeysuckle did not seem so casual or blase in her expression, "Dad...and...uh, which Mom?"
"Better wait for that part," Meiko urged, "You're not gonna believe it, and the Dad on our timeline...well...you gotta see him to believe it, and even then you won't believe it..."
"Uh...Meiko-chan?" Ranko pointed out, "You're repeating yourself."
"Am I?" Meiko blinked, "Sorry, but even after all this time I still mess up my Japanese. Well, anyway, let's head on over to the dojo and then I'll tell you the rest, but like I said, you are not gonna believe it."
"Right," Honeysuckle sighed, musing aloud to herself, "And I thought the twins were a stretch..." as she lead the way, floating towards the Tendo-Saotome compound...
Comments/Criticisms/Do You Believe in Magic: shadowmane
My thanks again to Trella (RA Curtis) for her ideas regarding the "Aiyaa, My Goddess" future timeline, and for the suggestion of the Lina and Naghi characters who appear her, along with Lyne Reiko Kuno and Honeysuckle Saotome. Next up the battle royal gets under full sway as Chakar pulls out all the stops against Celestine, while Ranma and Nabiki close in for the kill and Ranko gathers up more cavalry while the rest of the captured crew ruminate about their various timelines. Be here next time for: "Record of the Ranma Wars," or, "Name That Doom!" Be there!
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