For the sweet babies elinhell, lavmuffin and fxndomness. Your kind words indeed worked on my muse :) Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.
XXXX
You can have my isolation.
You can have the hate that it brings.
You can have my absence of faith.
You can have my everything.
- "Closer", Nine Inch Nails -
I told him. I told him everything. I told him about Alice, about how much I had loved her, about how much she had once meant to me, about how much her betrayal had hurt me. I forgot nothing, I mentioned the accident, how volatile I had been back then. I even narrated the whole story of how I became a monster to save her
Everything.
We were both seated on a hill, side-by-side, a place he took me when I finished hiding the bodies of the two humans I had killed and already forgotten. He had his legs folded in Indian style, while I had gathered my knees to my chest, safely tucked them under my chin and wrapped my arms around them to hold myself together.
It was relatively pretty up there because we had the whole city spreading at our feet, the bright lights made it look like another starry sky. One of the few beautiful things left in this shitty world. The night was chilly, the air wet and cold against my skin. I had goosebumps. But I don't think it was from the weather. All the memories I had locked away for so long, I was living them once more and it unsettled me. It disgusted me. I disgusted me. I just wanted to scratch my skin until it came off completely. The places she had touched at least.
Above all, though, I felt exposed. I had opened my soul to him, my story, my scars, my weakness, everything was his now. Kurosaki's. He knew. He knew a big part of me. But this time, for some strange reason, I wanted him to know. He could have my everything, I didn't care. I wanted him to think about me, to know me, to understand me. I wanted him to know the reason why I had so much hatred in me, so that he could hate me as much as I hated myself. I wanted him to look at me with his brown eyes full of disgust. But he did nothing of these. All he did was stare at the horizon, smoking his cigarette peacefully, his thoughts a serene whisper.
His silence killed me. I hated it but it really killed me. I wanted to hear him say something about it. No, fuck want; I needed to hear him say something about it. Because I knew he was thinking of me, I could see myself in his thoughts.
The thick silence stretched and stretched. I was getting nervous and irritated. My skin was itching. Cold sweat ran down my neck and I could feel my heart banging in my ears and throat. I counted his breaths, every single one of them, to distract myself. To keep myself calm. To stop my nails from scrapping my skin off. But I couldn't contain it for too long.
"You have nothing to say?" My voice sounded strangled, foreign.
Kurosaki sighed, a stream of white smoke escaping his mouth and nose at the same time. "I don't know what to say," he said, still not looking at me, "Am I supposed to say my opinion? To make fun of you? To pat your head and console you? What?"
There was no sarcasm in his voice, which was good because I would have picked up a fight with him on the spot, so jittery I was. He was asking a genuine question. For once. A question that I didn't know how to answer. I started at my fingers, lost for words. What did I want him to say, really? I had no idea. "Dunno. Just say something," I shrugged in the end, passing the ball to him again.
This time, he chuckled in amusement and pressed the butt of his cigarette on the ground. His brown eyes were finally looking at me, one of his orange eyebrows reaching for his hairline. My back stiffened in anticipation. Just spit it out already!
"If I say what I really have to say, you promise you won't chop my tongue or my dick off?"
His tone made my stomach churn and I frowned. I didn't like what he was implying but at the same time, I had to know what was in his head, so I didn't have time worry. "I could always try," I smirked.
He laughed and turned his attention back on the horizon, taking a deep breath. "Well, it's rather simple," he started, "You never loved that Alice chick. From my point of view, you were just a puppy that wagged its tail to a random person who happened to toss you a treat, while she..." He paused and smiled, shaking his head. "She took advantage of you and your ignorance to the cruel ways of this world from the very beginning."
I was flabbergasted. He couldn't be serious. How on earth could I have been ignorant to the cruelty of this world? When I grew up with that bastard I called my father?! I stared at him, my mouth open in disbelief until I chuckled nervously. "You're joking of course."
"No, I'm one hundred-ten percent serious," he responded curtly, "Whether you wanna believe or not, s'what happened from a third person's point of view."
"That's absurd!", I snorted, "Well yeah, she took advantage of my feelings but that was after I told her about them! Before that, we were close friends and she was an angel-"
"Satan was angel too, and one of God's favorites if I'm not mistaken," Kurosaki cut me off, efficiently silencing me, "Anyway, when she started taking advantage of you doesn't matter; what matters is that she did. Like a vicious female mantis, she devoured her mate to survive. The same mate who thought they shared a bond of love." He laughed sarcastically. "Pathetic."
I felt my eyebrow tick. "Did you just call me pathetic?"
He turned his head and caught my gaze head on. I could see his brown eyes spitting sparks, daring me, taunting me. "Fuck yeah I did," he spat, "Because that's what you are. You fell for the witch's spell and thought you loved her." He snorted, a humorless smile that looked more like a sneer took over his face. "Fuck you if you think that this stupid puppy attachment was love. You were just lonely and horny and she happened to be there at the right time and you mistook relief for love. You were young and immature, I get that. But that wasn't love. You're one hundred years too early to know what love feels like."
What is this fucker even talking about?! We both are twenty years old! God forbid but I wanted to snap his fucking neck into two, my palms literally itching to crush his throat between them but as I felt anger heat up my body, I reminded myself that I was the one who asked him to comment on my story. In fact, I had wanted him to be disgusted at me. So I shouldn't get mad now that he did what I asked him. I took a couple of deep breaths and glared at the horizon, repeating his words in my head like a mantra.
You're one hundred years too early to know what love feels like.
...What love feels like.
Love.
Love?
What the fuck did he know about love?
His words baffled me and intrigued me at the same time. I chuckled. "How on earth an insensitive prick such as yerself knows about love?"
I saw his back stiffen momentarily before he coughed a snicker. "Of course I know about love," he sneered harshly, dumbfounding me, "It is one of the most fierce and deep emotions you'll ever experience. It can change you, mess you up, torture you. It'll make you do crazy things and you'll end up giving your life for...ugh."
Kurosaki stopped and pushed his hands through his hair, long fingers threading with the vermilion-hued tresses, tugging almost savagely. He stayed silent but I waited for his answer patiently and I waited until his body started swaying back and forth. That freaked me out but I kept calm for some more. It was the pained grunt that suddenly escaped his mouth which made all the alarms go off in my head. I tried to reach out to him with my thoughts, to see what was wrong in his head but remember that void I told you about? That shit had taken over his mind and kept smacking me away painfully every time I tried to make even the smallest attempt to approach him. Screams echoed in my head, strangled noises and fire... So much fire. It burnt me. It burnt me and I physically flinched away, my fingers pressing against my temples to relieve the pain.
"Snap out of it!", I yelled at him, reaching out to grasp his shoulder and shake him. But as soon as I touched him, fingers wrapped around my wrist and squeezed tight, his orange head snapping at my direction. Whatever I was about to say died in my throat. I froze.
His eyes. I had never seen them like this. They were wide in fear, unfocused and all pupil, staring deeply into some random direction over my shoulder. His body was swaying again and I had to catch him or else he would have fallen on the ground. His thoughts turned to muddled up and incoherent whispers, rising all the hairs on my body. My stomach flipped uncomfortably in my abdomen. Holy shit it was motherfucking creepy. Like these horror movies some humans are so fond of, with the only difference that this was true.
It took me a couple of moments but eventually I realized it; he was having a seizure. But he wasn't shaking or unconscious. Still, I had no idea how to respond to that. I was no doctor.
Shit shit shit shit shit. He's not gonna die, is he?!
"Oi!", I called, slapping his cheeks to bring him back, "Oi, Kurosaki!"
Nothing happened. He stayed slumped over my arms, unmoving and unblinking for about one hundred-ten seconds, before I saw life, slowly, flow back into his face, his brown eyes regaining focus and blinking madly. I simply kneeled there on the wet ground, Kurosaki heavy in my arms but not heavier than my chest. I couldn't even speak, I... Fuck, I thought I was losing him and just the thought was enough to... No, not that. Don't think about that, I reminded myself and took a couple of calming breaths, He is back.
He grunted and rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands before realizing that something was kinda wrong. His hands slowly left his eyes and he looked up at me in confusion. "What is going on?"
I blinked, confused as much as he was. Wait, he didn't remember any of it? "We were talking and you suddenly went all ballistic and I think you just had a seizure," I ranted, unable to properly proofread the words that came out of my mouth. I was pretty shaken, for your information.
Kurosaki sat up and pinched the bridge of his nose, huffing a couple of breaths. "Right. Sorry about that," he said, his voice suddenly tired, "When I remember certain shit, I... Well I lose it, as you just witnessed."
"Maybe you should go see a doctor," I offered. I didn't know what else to say. He looked at me again, his nose wrinkling in disgust as he shook his head.
"Hell no. I ain't going to these assholes who think they know shit," he quipped acidly, glaring daggers at me.
I swallowed and left the subject be, breaking our eye contact. If he didn't want to go to the doctor, it wasn't my business. Besides, if he ever got in danger, I was around him all the time and I would take care of anything, medical or non-medical.
What left me hanging though, was the reason behind all this; behind the fit and the apparent hostility towards doctors. By that point, I was sure that everything had to do with that dark side in his thoughts. Everything he did or didn't do was somehow related to that. Gah, I wanted to know so bad. I had to know; he was mine. I had to know everything about him.
So I tried asking him. "So... What exactly were you thinking before you got the fit?"
His eyes flickered towards me again, his face slack and surprisingly emotionless. "That's none of yer fuckin' business," he spat in my face, his harsh tone making me flinch internally but I didn't show. Then, his face softened ever so slightly and he facepalmed. "Well, I'm not in the right condition to discuss this right now and I don't think I'll ever be. So don't ask again. Ever."
It irritated me. The exigency to know irked me to no end but I couldn't pressure him, so I settled with a shrug and an almost nonchalant, "Sure."
I could always wait for the day he tells me on his own.
"Great," he huffed restlessly, rubbing his palms on his jean-clad thighs. He fidgeted on his spot and started searching his pockets frantically, his hands shaking. I had never seen him like that, so upset and anxious. Had I finally managed to break his facade? Yip yip me. I kinda liked that new power as much as I liked that paleness the whole situation left on his face. It gave him a strange allure, especially under the equally pale moonlight. And his tangerine hair shining around his head like a halo... Hm, one could mistake him for an angel...an angel I could almost fall for. But like he had said, Satan was an angel before he became who he is. And I promised to stay away from romance.
Suddenly, a strong blast of his scent hit me in the face like a punch, snapping me completely out of my reverie. My nostrils flared and everything inside my body tightened. I saw red. I saw his blood trickling down his forearm towards his fingertips. I saw the razor in his hand. "What are you doing?", I grunted, my voice unrecognizable and full of lust.
Kurosaki sliced another part of his skin, moaning and shuddering from the pain. I almost joined him. "What does it look like I'm doing?", he snickered sarcastically, evilly, "I'm cutting."
"No," I demanded and grasped the hand which held the razor, preventing him from slicing himself open another time. Not that I didn't like the sight or scent of his blood that had suddenly filled the air like a killing gas, but his blood volume was already low and he just had a seizure, so I didn't want him risking his health like that. My good intentions were solely for selfish reasons; I didn't care if he wanted to die, I still wouldn't let him simply because I needed him.
Kurosaki of course didn't like me intervening or telling him what to do because he scowled and tried to fight me off. "Let go, bastard!", he gritted angrily, "Ya won't fuckin' tell me what ta do!"
"I won't fuckin' let you jinx your life!", I hissed back, grasping his bleeding arm from the wrist and we fought like that for a while, until I managed to push him on his back, straddle his waist and pine his flailing arms above his head. Kurosaki still struggled and growled ominously but after a while, he gave up the fight against my inhumanly strong grip.
"I so wanna kill you right now," he spat with hatred, glaring daggers at me. I simply smirked at him.
"Good luck with that."
He struggled some more, he tried to move his legs but no luck. He groaned in frustration. "Fuck! That stupid demon-thing with you is startin' ta piss me off!"
I laughed heartily at how angry he was. It turned me on to see him like that... Yeah, he was pretty attractive when he was angry too, that deadly scowl of his that would have forced most of the human population to flee, the spark in his brown eyes... They did strange things to me. "Well listen to this," I offered calmly, my eyes and attention straying to the blood gushing from his open wounds. Thank God he hadn't cut too deep. "This demon-thing that is pissing you off, is also obsessed with your blood. And it's bad. As in, it can't live without it."
Kurosaki's expression changed from angry grizzly bear to confusion and genuine wonder. "My blood?", he asked, his tone milder now, "You're obsessed with my blood?"
I let out a shuddering sigh and nodded. Although I felt really really stupid for admitting my biggest weakness in his face, it was something I had to do. It wasn't that he hadn't suspected something already, he had, but he wasn't sure. Now he knew. "Why do you think I am around you all the time? For your pretty brown eyes?"
He smirked at me in amusement. "A man can dream, can't he?"
The sarcasm in his words was practically tangible and I had to laugh. I liked his smart mouth. It was entertaining. Sometimes. Some other times I wanted to shove my fist so far in that smart mouth I could yank out his voice box and shut him up forever. "With that said," I brought us back to the main point, "I'd like you to avoid spilling your blood. Unless it is an absolute necessity."
"This time, it was an absolute necessity."
My smile fell as quickly as the humor left his face. I sighed. I knew very well what he meant. I used to cut myself too, remember? Although I didn't do it as often after so many years, I could still, at times, feel the urge to carve my skin and watch the blood pour out like a river. It's addicting. The pain, that is. So I couldn't blame him. "I get it. Just..." Just what? I sounded way too desperate even to myself.
"Well," he said after a while of silence, "You could always consume the blood I spill. You know, so that it doesn't go to waste."
Our gazes stayed locked for a long while, me staring down at him and him staring up at me, until a chuckle left my lips and I shook my head. "You're unbelievable."
One of his orange eyebrows quirked upwards. "How come?"
"Because you never react the way I expect you to," I said, "Like, we're here, talking about me drinking your blood as if it's an everyday thing."
"It's none of my business if you traded yer soul to save a dying bitch," he shrugged and I rolled my eyes at his bluntness. I had to. But that didn't stop him. "Besides, I ain't one of the sanest people ya gonna meet in this world. My head is pretty fucked up."
"I already had that figured out."
He chortled and I smirked along with him. Honestly, it surprised me how much our relationship had changed as we kinda got to know each other. I had stopped thinking about killing him all the time, since I had - sorta - gotten used to his cruel sense of humor, while at the same time, he started treating me more like an equal and less like garbage. Not that I wanted to gain his sympathy or whatever but it felt nicer to have him as company and not as an enemy.
We are two fucked up and lonely souls that one happened to stumble on the other and ended up joining these loneliness together.
"So?", he spoke softly and twisted his arm in my grip, attracting my attention on it, "The blood has started to dry."
My eyes flickered towards his face before trailing back into the open wounds on his forearm. I inched closer and closer to my personal cult of salvation, feeling every nerve in my body trembling with anticipation. Shit, I am about to taste him. Shit.
Shit.
Almost timidly, loving the way my whole body ached in need, I allowed only the tip of my tongue to get a small taste. It was enough. It was enough for these thin threads of my sanity to snap. I felt my fangs grow, my vision redden, my blood roaring in my ears and I dug in. I didn't bite him, no. I laved at the red, thick substance like the thirstiest dog on this planet.
"Oh God," I muttered under my breath, completely overwhelmed by my senses as I licked every inch of his skin clean, "Oh my sweet God..."
"That bad, huh?"
His soft, amused voice caressed my ears like a lullaby. I looked up at him and caught his gaze, resting my lips on his now clean skin and letting myself drown in his inviting heat, in his scent. "Fuck, it's what I live for," I breathed, utterly intoxicated and hypnotized.
Kurosaki watched me with dark brown eyes, full of lust, the smile slowly disappearing from his face. I could hear it in his thoughts, I could see it in his eyes. Fuck, I could even smell it in his scent.
He wanted it.
He wanted me.
I gave it to him. But compared to all the other times we had had sex, I would call this time a little...milder. Not that it was any less good, on the contrary actually; taking it slow intensified every other sensation. I gently kissed a line up his arm, until the rolled sleeve of his hoodie came in contact with my lips and from there I moved closer to him, letting his wrists go so he could wrap his arms around me. I buried my face in his neck of course, for the sake of drowning myself in his unique scent while he mapped my back, his breathing heavy and hot against my ear. At some point, he even started grinding his crotch against mine.
Our breathings grew heavier, his heart rate increased, the arousal in his blood tangible. I licked his neck and nuzzled his chest over the thin, black tee he wore that night, crossing over his clothed abdomen until I reached his swollen crotch.
I sucked him off. For the first time since we started fucking, I sucked him off. And for someone who hated servicing others, I can say that I enjoyed it to the fullest. I enjoyed the faces he made, these little cheeky smiles, the way he bit his lower lip every time I hit a sensitive spot, the hushed cusses of "Shit" or "Fuck", his long fingers fiddling with my hair and guiding the pace. It was so good I didn't want to pull away and the only reason I did was because he was about to come.
"Lemme ride you."
My grin was instant when he said these words because, c'mon, what was greater than being ridden within every inch of your life? Kurosaki was a great rider, one of the best out there actually. So I sat back and let him take care of me. He started off my loosening the buttons of my pants, freeing my straining manhood from its confines. He fished a condom out of his pockets and took off his own pants completely before straddling my hips and rolling the latex all over my length.
Then it dawned on me. "We don't have lube."
"It's okay," he smirked at me, "We'll improvise."
"But your body-"
"Stop caring about me," he cut me off curtly and spat on his palm, wrapping his fingers around my dick to coat it with saliva, "Caring brings trouble."
I would have told him that I didn't give a single shit about him, save from the fact that his body contained the reason I existed but once he started lowering himself on me, my train of thought went off its rails and crashed on Fuck Land. I grunted and grasped his hips while he took a hold of my shoulders to balance himself. "Shit," he cursed and chuckled breathlessly, "I forgot how hard it is to fit you in me without lube."
"Told you so," I shrugged, knowing very well that I acted like a brat but it was amusing to see him roll his eyes at me.
"Just shut up and fuck me."
With that, we both fell in silence full of heavy breaths. It felt so good. Like, you have no idea how good it was. We were close, our clothed chest touching, our bodies coming together in such frantic urgency, it stole my breath away. And he smelled so good... So fucking good. At some point, I even hid myself in his neck and tried to breathe him in until he became a part of me.
He is the air I want to breathe.
He is everything.
I could hear him panting in my ear, I could feel his breath scorching my skin and I knew; he was close. I freed one of my hands and brought it between our bodies, wrapping it around his straining erection which kept digging its way into my abdomen. His quiet moan was one of the few things I relished in this life and I moved my hips as much as our position let me to meet his downfall and push him over the edge. It didn't take too long; a handful of well-aimed thrusts and he tipped his head backwards, spilling his seed all over my fist with a heavy, satisfactory sigh.
"Shit," he breathed and then chuckled, "I needed that." His lusty brown eyes focused on me again. "Did you come?"
"No," I shook my head, my breathing heavy, "But I'm close."
Kurosaki gave me a devilish smile and pushed me to the ground, his hips picking up where they had left from. The little bastard rode me to the brinks of insanity, coming down on me hard enough to break us both. I liked it. Scratch that, I loved it. I fucking loved it when he got so aggressive and it would be unnecessary to mention that I came soon after he started with his special treatment. And I groaned like a fucking stabbed panther. I know, shame-shame, but can you really blame me?
"Holy shit," I purred in satisfaction. I was so high I could swear I had figured out the cure for the common cold. The dark sky was filled with milliards of stars, shining above our heads, blinking at me in an almost flirtatious way... Holy shit, that's one hell of a poist-coitus.
"There ya go pretty boy," he crooned, idly toying with the stupidly stubborn blue strands that constantly found themselves in my eyes. I lowered my eyes and caught his gaze, grinning at him goofily. He laughed. "It hit you hard, didn't it?"
"Too hard," I croaked and pushed him off of me, getting rid of the condom and tucking myself back in my pants. I caught him sliding in his pants once again and I stared. "You fucking wildcat."
"Either you do it properly or ya don't do it at all," he argued with no heat, sliding his arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek, "C'mon let's grab a drink and head to my crib ta fuck some more. It's been a while since I bothered my homophobic neighbor."
I chuckled and fished a carton of cigarettes out of Kurosaki's pocket. I had finished mine and got no money to buy new ones. "I'll pass the drink part," I said, lighting that shit up and taking the first drag. My favorite part. My lungs stretched and welcomed the cancerous gas, the remnants of excitement in my body vanishing as my muscles relaxed completely. I sighed the white smoke out and leaned my head against his. "Besides," I added, "I gotta go check on a friend first and then I'll come to ya."
That wasn't a total lie. I had to go see Shinji, because my friend had an exam that day and I wanted to know how it went. Also, I had to see if he was alright.
Kurosaki patted my shoulder. "'Kay then," he grunted as he stood up, "Laters."
"Laters."
I listened to his retreating footsteps as I quickly finished my cigarette, thinking about, well, Kurosaki. About the fit he had. About his hatred towards doctors. About that void in his head. I knew by now that all these things were connected but...to what they connected?! To an ex-lover? A friend? Not knowing could seriously slay my brain. Fucking hell.
He's such a mystery, I mused, tossing the butt of my cigarette to a random direction as I stood up, dusting my ass off. But that mystery drew me to him like the moth to the flame. It may sound cliché but I wondered how much time would pass before I got burnt.
I left the hill and headed towards Shinji's house. The night was cold, the streets empty and poorly lit, the city finally had shut the fuck up. There were a couple of people laying and puking here and there but they were simply hoards of drunk losers that had no job and a severe addiction to alcohol. I sneered. Fucking pathetic humans. Disgusting. Disgraceful.
Fighting against the upcoming headache, I picked up my pace towards Shinji's place. See, I just wanted to get this over with so I could run back to the reason of my sorry existence. I grinned to myself in satisfaction. Shit, I'll spend the night with him again. Fucking hell. The night gets better and better by the minute.
Insert sarcastic laugh here.
It was that moment when I noticed them. These dark figures hiding in the night. They were seven of them, surprisingly sober considering the early hours of the day. Their footsteps were brisk and a little hesitant but there was no mistaking that they were following me. That baffled me. Me? They were following me? For what?
I lost no time digging into their heads, my guard all the way up. I listed their blood types, their family statuses, their health statuses and their names. No one I recognized... Wait a minute, there is one that sounds familiar. Tall, buff, head half-bald, impulsive, brain of a fucking walnut. Yammy. I smirked at myself and slowed down my walking. That guy again? Wasn't he Kurosaki's ex-bitch, er, subordinate? Why the fuck was he chasing me? With six people as his company, guns included.
There was a name mumbled around in their minds, something that sounded like...Luppi? Luppi? That sounded oddly familiar. I shrugged past that and scanned in a little more, only to find out that this Luppi guy wanted me for a "friendly" conversation. I could clearly see what sort of unpleasant things were associated with that situation but that didn't scare me. It puzzled me though. Why would this Luppi, a guy I had no idea who he was whatsoever, want to associate me of all people?
It was then that Kurosaki's words slowly came back to mind. "Now that they know your face, they might come after ya too," he had said to me, later that night I had helped him beat their asses, a couple of weeks ago.
Luppi. Luppi! Yeah, Luppi is the guy who took Kurosaki's spot as sixth in command. The guy who correctly accused Kurosaki for some missing goods.
My feet came into an abrupt halt and the smirk dropped from my face. The situation did not sound so very amusing anymore. They are after me now? Not that I couldn't take these guys into a fight, whoever they were, but I was heading to Shinji's place and I didn't want this shit anywhere near my best friend. Shinji wouldn't be able to handle it.
I have to face them on my own.
I stood on the spot I had initially halted, waiting for them to approach me. They hesitated as they watched me stop but Yammy barked at them to keep going. The amusement came back to me and I chuckled, turning around to greet them. "Gentlemen!", I called, making sure I was as mocking as possible, "What a delight to see you here! Where do I owe the pleasure?"
Yammy grunted in frustration and ordered the rest of the squad to stop walking. Then, his eyes were on me, hard and angry, making me smile sarcastically. "Now, now, don't look so mad," I crooned, "Is it because I broke your wrist?"
"Shut the fuck up, bastard!", he yelled in fury, advancing closer and straight into my face, glaring at me ominously. I didn't bat one fucking eyelash. "Yer fuckin' comin' with us."
I blinked, eyeing him seriously. Talk about not beating around the bush. Damn, I wish I had a cigarette with me. It would make everything so much more badass. "What for?"
"Our boss wants to talk to ya," he gritted.
I quirked an eyebrow, taunting him. "And what if I say no?"
Something hard pressed on my stomach and I had to force myself not to smile. Reeeeeaaaally? He thought he'd kill an almighty demon with a gun? Laughable. But I played along. "You'll kill me, huh?"
"We'll fuckin' mutilate you, you piece o' shit," Yammy hissed in my face and some of his spit fell on my forehead and cheekbone. I took a deep breath, willing myself not to punch an actual whole through his abdomen. How fucking dare he. A fucking disgusting human peasant like him spitting on me. Me. Grimmjow motherfucking Jaegerjaques.
Wait, hold up, a calmer part of my mind spoke through the homicidal fog, What if I kill them all? All as in the entire sixth squad, Luppi included. Then me and Kurosaki won't have to worry about anything! Holy fucking shit, a little bit of the demon-thing and my problems are solved! And Kurosaki can keep his fucking drugs to do whatever he wanted with them.
That's it. That's what I'ma fuckin' do. I've already killed a lot of people, right? Killing a dozen more wouldn't be so tragic. After all, I will be burning in Hell for a long while. What's a couple more years?
Nothing right?
At least, that was what I had thought back then.
I looked up at the freak's eyes, making my face as apathetic as possible. It reminded him of Kurosaki. It irritated him. I loved it. "You give me no choice," I shrugged nonchalantly, raising my arms up in a form of truce, "I guess I'll be coming with you, guys."
Life is all about decisions, people. And at that time, I made a bad one.
But let's talk about this another time.
XXXX
I know it takes too long to update but that's only because this story is so much different than anything I've ever tried and it's very difficult for me to write it. Don't wanna self-promote but it takes effort. Lots of effort. Both physical and emotional.
Thanks for reading and being patient. I'd like to know your thoughts on the story so far.
Queen.