Chapter 11: Triplicate Reflections, Part I
Disclaimer: Kudos to Dan Schneider for coming up with Victorious… and iCarly… and Drake & Josh… and The Amanda Show… Damn, that guy is so freaking amazing, seriously!
Author's Note: Hey guys… I'M SO BEHIND WITH THIS! I know, I know, I'm sorry – but really it's been such an FML time at the moment, and I just can't seem to catch a break. But I'm here now… I think. Anyway, a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and alerted the last chapter; it really means a lot to me. Hope you guys like this one so please leave a review and tell me what you thought
"Traitor" whispered the Goth's icy voice from behind the Latina. Tori didn't dare turn back at the dangerously silken whisper, focusing instead on the blackboard looming ahead of her. Her heart flippantly twisted itself in her chest, testament to the burden of guilt she was forced to bear for the rest of her life. It would be years, centuries even, before she could face Jade again. She was sure that the raven-haired girl's face would be nothing short of the very essence of wrath, and she was to blame. She nodded slightly to appease the Goth. "I am a traitor, aren't I?"
"If you have to ask, you obviously don't think of yourself as one" snapped the Goth irately. Tori felt a sharp bump against the underside of her chair. She lowered her gaze to the blank desk in front of her, ascetically keeping her mind focused on anything but the vengeful demon behind her. Her ears caught onto an incensed scoff. "But then again, if you can't bring yourself to face me; you must feel something. Tell me Vega, is a heartless bitch capable of feeling guilt, or is this just another way to show off your fancy acting skills?"
"What do you want from me Jade?" The Latina ran a desperate hand through her thick locks, feeling the acidic sting of tears starting to form in her eyes. "You think I don't put myself through hell every single second?"
"That's not your job." Instantly Tori felt a sharp pain embed itself in between her shoulder blades. Her breath eclipsed itself away from her body as she lowered her gaze to the floor. Glistening drops of ruby red blood pooled itself underneath her chair, slowly forming scarlet streams. "Jade…" gasped the brunette, clutching at her chest. A single tone of smug laughter sliced through the air. "I'll make sure you never escape."
"Tori, wake up!" At the violent shoving of her shoulders, the Latina's eyes flew open and darted around the room in alarm. It took a few seconds, but the comforting eggshell tone of her bedroom walls reassured her that her nightmare had retreated back into her mind's dark abyss for now. With a grateful sigh, she sank back into the luxurious yield of her mattress and focused her attention on the concerned face staring straight back at her. The ethereally sapphire eyes of her aunt had become one of the first things that graced her sight every morning for the past couple of days, and she began to wish that this annoying morning routine would stop. Of late, her subconscious had become frighteningly talented at distorting every single person she held precious into demons in all but appearance. It was almost a certainty that her conscience weighed down on her far more than it should, but the courage to move on from Los Angeles and the life she left behind mockingly evaded her: her guilt was the only thing that defined her for now, and to simply let it go was not only a disgrace to her actions, but a kick in the face to the friends she had betrayed.
"That is it, today I'm making you an appointment with that shrink" said the older woman, pacing frantically around her niece's bed. "This has been going on for far too long!"
"I'm not going insane Judy" said the Latina flatly, lightly pressing her hand against her forehead. Amazingly, her morning sickness had cleared up as soon as the nightmares began – an outlandish trade, but at least now she could spend her time outside of the toilet's vicinity. As she closed her eyes, she heard the anxious shuffle of her aunt's bedroom slippers slow down to a halt. She could virtually feel the consternation ooze out of the older Vega. Out of her father's siblings, Judy had always been the eccentric one – emotional when the rest of her family was focused, and forever thinking with her heart. She too had seen her fair share of life's seemingly endless falls, but had found the strength to smile in spite of it all. Tori could only hope that some of her optimism brushed off onto her, God only knew how badly she needed it. She hated the pathetic fool she had become, always swaying to whatever depression reigned her head. The confidence she once possessed shattered before her, shards of what used to be laying at her feet, painfully reminding her of a time where all was well. "It's only a dream" she whispered faintly, but who she was trying to convince wasn't clear to her. Judy clicked her tongue impatiently. "Only a dream? Tori, when you start to get murdered in these dreams, it's a sign that something is very, VERY wrong. I mean, how did you die this time?"
"Stab wound to the shoulder area."
"And yesterday it was a gunshot. The day before that, you got trapped in a fire."
"You know, I'm beginning to regret telling you all that." The Latina's lolled around her pillow like a puppet. "It's just… when I came to Sacramento, I left a lot of unresolved issues behind there. I guess karma's catching up to me."
"You mean with Danny and Cat?" Tori exhaled deeply. "Amongst other things."
"Tori-"
"I am not going to see some shrink" said the Latina loudly. Judy let out a weary breath. "What do you want then?"
"For things to be like they were before."
-xoxoxoxoxo-
"Beck, be honest with me" said the Goth quietly, rummaging through the contents of her locker. The hallways of Hollywood Arts had yet to fill with the majority of its students. These early mornings were fast becoming a pleasurable habit of hers: the stillness of school was brimming with possibilities of what was to be, almost like arrows pointing her to some nirvana of emotional wisdom. It seemed that the days to come were heralding some transitional period in her life, and the sheer anticipation of it all frustrated her to no end. Last week, she had been paralyzed by the Latina's departure, unable to even draw a single breath without her heart shattering. Tori frolicked rampantly in her thoughts, playing wild with her imagination and throwing her to depths she didn't even know existed. It took every single iota of her willpower, but the blackened void stirring inside of her could not be denied. Every night she paid homage to her pain with tears that maliciously struck themselves across her cheek, worshipping her yearning with choked sobs. It seemed humanely impossible that one person could be so utterly devastated, but she knew that this was the price for loving someone completely. Through the brief sparkle of happiness, she had lost herself, and finding her way back was getting harder with each day.
"OK, I'll be completely honest with you" sighed the Canadian wistfully. "Justin Bieber and I were once neighbors"
"That's not what I mean."
"I'm serious! Who do you think taped all his Youtube videos?" Jade gently pushed her locker door shut as she threw Beck a weary grin. "And yet you didn't get any credit?"
"Not even a tweet. Damn that son of a bitch." The Goth shook her head. It was a chore, but she had to remind herself that Beck was in the same boat as her – and if he wasn't, he was surely sailing around the same sea at least. Their shared pain at loss, flavored by their different shades of guilt, cancelled each other out in a strange way. Through phone calls, compassionate silences; even shared burritos, they brought each other just a little bit of sunshine to their dreary worlds; but even this wasn't without its own set of angst. She was grateful to him for being there and understanding her when he could have easily discarded her as Tori had, but what exactly did he expect of her? He couldn't be so selfish as to want to pick up right where they left off. What was she doing here with him anyways? "Beck, be serious. I need to ask you something."
"I don't want anything from you." The Canadian blinked smilingly at the raven-haired girl, his smirk growing exponentially at her bemused mask of a face. "For someone who wants to be so mysterious, you're pretty easy to read you know."
"How'd you know?" asked Jade softly, averting her gaze as the heated crimson tinged her cheeks. It wasn't that she was embarrassed by Beck's statement, but his ease of reading her every emotion unnerved her. "Just had a feeling" said the Canadian, shrugging his shoulders. He wrapped his arm around the Goth and slowly led her to the middle of the hallway. "I didn't know for sure until this morning though. You get quiet when you're nervous."
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't know yet" said Beck softly, cocking his head quizzically. "I suppose we just take it one day at a time?"
"You know that one day we'll have to give a name to… whatever this is" said the Goth, her voice edged with a distant anxiety. "We can't keep circling each other forever."
"Do you want to go back to how we were?" Jade let out a deep exhalation. "I want to be happy again."
"Then there you go." With little warning, Beck pulled the Goth into a loose embrace, running his hand protectively across her spine. Jade's body froze instantly, but the comforting touch of someone else broke through her frosted demeanor. She pressed her head against his chest, hearing the light lullaby of his heartbeat against her ears. In this whole screwed up mess where hurt was the only constant, how was it that the only place she found solace was in the arms of the one she betrayed. She was a sucker for punishment, no two ways about it – she was drawn to sadness like a magnet. It seemed that Fate had already decided that her path would be one full of wasted effort with little reward: her heart would always remain in the little smithereens it was in now… it was only a question of when the next big wave of sorrow would come. "Jade, why do you always have to put a name to things? Why can't we just be together like this?" crooned Beck, his voice like smooth velvet. The Goth trembled in his grasp. "As friends?"
"As whatever you want it to be."
"Because we'll get hurt. We always do" said Jade thickly. Her hand shook as it travelled up, resting lightly against his solid torso. It seemed so gloriously painful that her rock was the same person that wound her guilt up so tightly. "And I'm tired of the pain." Her dark eyes gazed up at him, swimmingly pleading for a rescue from the rest of the outside world. "I want to let go Beck. I want to be free."
Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that Beck just might be up to something? And will Tori's nightmares ever stop? And what will Jade decide? Leave a review and find out ;) Till next time!