Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"Why do I have to be here for this?" Revan was complaining as Bastila practically dragged him into the Council Chamber. Maybe 'practically' wasn't the right word. He certainly wasn't heading there voluntarily and there may have even been some Force involved.

"Because you're a Jedi the same as me," Bastila explained for the ninth time since they'd left the ancient ruins. She'd even stopped looking horrified as they'd said those words so clearly this experience was good for her. "As such, both of our presence is required at the debriefing."

"Carth was there, too," Revan pointed out. "Why can't he do it? He's always complaining nobody tells him anything, anyway."

Bastila actually stopped in her tracks, turning to him with shock clear on her face. "Are you…are you actually telling me that you've finally noticed that after weeks of being perfectly oblivious?"

Revan perked up at that. "You think I'm perfect?"

"No, I said 'perfectly oblivious', which made 'perfectly' a modifier," Bastila said flatly.

"Which means that you're describing me as perfect," Revan said triumphantly.

"-Ly oblivious," Bastila amended Revan's statement. "And can you just answer the question?"

"Certainly," Revan responded.

Bastila waited. "Well?" she finally prompted.

"Could…you maybe remind me what the question was?" he asked sheepishly.

Bastila sighed heavily. It was hard to tell if it was the brain damage or just the fact he was Revan, sometimes. Not to mention that half the time it seemed like he knew exactly who he was and the other half of the time it seemed like he had the memories but just hadn't connected the dots, probably due to outright laziness. She really pitied whoever got stuck going on this mad quest to find the Star Forge with him…which would tragically probably end up being her because their bond should let her sense if he was turning evil. Except, of course, that he'd pointed out – likely correctly – that he was more in danger of joining the Sith for inane reasons like them having a better fashion sense or because he'd decided that being a Sith would require him to do less than because he truly believed in their cause or had been consumed by darkness. Although 'consumed by apathy' would probably be a fair way of looking at the problem.

"Did you forget, too?" Revan asked hesitantly. "If you did, that's totally fine with me. We can just pretend that this never happened because honestly when two people completely forget what they were talking about it's kind of embarrassing."

"No, I remember," Bastila said, shaking her head. "I just…never mind. The question was did you actually finally notice after weeks of being completely oblivious?" She changed perfectly to completely the second time, of course, to avoid entering into a circular conversation about whether or not Revan was perfect (he wasn't, of course).

Revan rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, you know," he said indignantly.

"I never said you were stupid," Bastila clarified. "Just that you don't actually care enough to pay the slightest bit of attention to these things."

"Maybe I would if the other people who weren't you were more interesting," Revan sniffed. "Like Canderous, for instance. Did you know he's teaching me how to build a Basilisk?"

"That is a very scary thought," Bastila said, shuddering a little. "And are you saying you think I'm interesting?"

"Of course I do," Revan insisted, looking hurt that she'd thought otherwise. "Bastila, you are one of the most beautiful and fascinating women I have ever met."

Ah, joy. Now Revan was hitting on her again. Still, there was one thing that bothered her about his statement. "One of?" Honestly, who said things like that when attempting to flirt?

"Well, there was that one Jedi General during the Mandalorian War," Revan explained. "I forget her name…I think she was exiled or something. Seriously, though, she was just…wow. She was kind of naïve, though."

"I see," Bastila said shortly. She should probably move the conversation away from this as the Exile was yet one more person Revan wasn't supposed to remember as he couldn't have met in his new life as a…Oh, right, she should probably check up on that, shouldn't she? Especially due to all the slip-ups. It really wouldn't do to get careless and to have Revan run into Malak and reveal he'd known everything all along but couldn't be bothered to tell anyone. Since the only person they had who could match Malak's ability to make Revan do things was Carth and he was likely to feel too horribly betrayed to make that effort, it could potentially end very, very badly.

"Revan, do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions?" Bastila asked slowly.

"Don't worry, I'm clean," Revan assured her.

Bastila frowned. "You're clean? That's a rather odd thing to go announcing. Plus, I can tell by the lack of offensive odors."

Revan laughed. "No, not that kind of clean."

"Then what do you mean?" Bastila asked, a little annoyed at herself for not getting it and needing to ask.

"I mean that I don't have an STD," Revan explained. "And by 'STD', of course, I mean sexually transmitted disease. Basically, if we have sex then you won't get sick although unless you take further precaution you might get pregnant. I feel I should also mention that I am not married nor am I involved with anyone else at this time."

"Good to know," Bastila said dryly. "But that wasn't actually what I meant."

"You will keep that in mind, though, if you should decide that that is what you meant?" Revan asked hopefully.

"Oh, why not?" Bastila asked rhetorically. "What I actually wanted to know is what planet you were from."

"Oh, that," Revan said, sounding disappointed. "I'm from Coruscant."

Bastila started. That wasn't right. "I thought you were from Deralia."

Revan shot her a strange look. "If you knew that then why did you ask?"

"I wanted to hear it from you," Bastila said a little lamely, hoping he wouldn't press her further. "So does this mean you are form Deralia after all?"

Revan laughed. "Me? From some little backwards Outer Rim farming community? As if. I mean, for one thing that sounds like a lot of work. And do you really think I'm motivated enough to make my way to the Republic proper? It's not exactly easy to secure passage off of those kinds of planets, you know."

"So you're from Coruscant, then?" Bastila asked. She hadn't been certain where Revan was actually from, only that the cover-story was that he was from Deralia.

Revan nodded. "Indeed. My parents ran the most popular diner on the planet but one day some people saw me levitating some dishes so they paid my parents to let me go to some Academy with them. Never let it be said that I had the most responsible parents. I think I was four or so…"

She really couldn't press for details without hitting a mental block or getting him to say something about the Jedi, could she?

"So why did you think I was from Deralia, anyway?" Revan asked curiously.

Bastila coughed. "I don't know. I could have sworn you mentioned it. Maybe I'm getting you confused with somebody else?"

Revan frowned deeply. "That's not good. I never want you to get me confused with any other men, Bastila."

Was he still on that? One would think his two-minute attention span would have made him move on for the moment. "So how old are you?"

Revan looked aghast. "PLEASE tell me you did not just ask me that."

Now Bastila was confused. "Why should I have asked that?"

"Because, Bastila," Revan lectured patiently. "There are some things you simply do not ask a person. Weight, age, and if they've ever been Bicurious are a few of those things."

"Wait, are you saying you've-" Bastila began.

"Didn't we just go over how you shouldn't ask anybody that?" Revan demanded. "Anyone such as, for instance, me?"

"My apologies, then," Bastila told him, figuring it was best to just move on. Age wasn't really all that important anyway as they would have had to have picked an age similar to Revan's real age so as to appear plausible. "What did you do before joining the Jedi?"

"I was a Republic soldier for all of about a week aboard the Endar Spire," Revan answered.

"I knew that!" Bastila snapped.

"Then why ask?" Revan looked puzzled.

"I meant, 'what did you do before then'?" Bastila rephrased the question, choosing to let Revan's probably deliberate misinterpretation go for the sake of moving this along.

"Oh, this and that," Revan said dismissively. "Some of it is embarrassing, most of it is illegal, and you'd be surprised how much of it is classified."

Well…that would probably be true for Revan but what did the Jedi reprogram him as? A smuggler? She supposed technically a lot of that could be true for Revan's faux-past as well.

"Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?" Revan asked brightly. "Any long, in-depth conversations you'd like to have while we stare dreamily at each other and totally end up ditching that Jedi meeting."

"We can't miss the meeting, Revan," Bastila said, shaking her head in exasperation.

"Why not?" Revan whined.

"Because it won't start until we show up," Bastila replied simply. "And seriously, you're wasting your time hitting on me."

"That's what you say now," Revan said confidently. "But soon enough-"

"Relationships – either with other Jedi or with a non-Jedi – are against the Jedi Code," Bastila informed him.

"…No they aren't," Revan disagreed.

Of all the arguments she'd been expecting, she wouldn't have even put a careless 'fine, whatever' past him, that wasn't it. "What do you mean 'no they aren't'?" Bastila cried.

"I mean, no relationships with your fellow Jedi or with other people are not against the Jedi Code," Revan clarified helpfully.

"I've been a Jedi a lot longer than you have," Bastila declared. It wasn't true, but they were all pretending that it was. "And so I think I'd know if relationships are allowed or not and for that matter they are not!"

"Hey, remember earlier today when I had to learn the Jedi Code in order to get to make a lightsaber in order to go let Carth redeem what's-her-name in order to become a Jedi?" Revan asked.

So Carth had redeemed Juhani? She really couldn't say that she was surprised. "Yes," she agreed cautiously, wondering where he was going with this or if he just wanted to complain some more.

"Allow me to recite it to you now. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. 'There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force.' That's it. That's the Jedi Code. Please explain to me how you people have managed to get 'and you've got stay single forever and should probably remain a virgin just to be on the safe side' from that?"

" 'You people'?" Bastila asked, offended, crossing her arms.

"Well, yeah," Reva nodded. "I mean, you don't see me interpreting five vague statements as 'never have any fun ever.'"

"That's not what it…" Bastila trailed off. How did he keep managing to distract her? "But that's not the point. What you just said is our official code, yes, and the part about no relationships or familial bonds-"

"Wait, what?" Revan interrupted. "That's in there, too? Jedi are harsh."

"Is not something we've interpreted from that but rather a painful lesson we've learned after the war with Exar Kun forty years ago," Bastila continued as if she hadn't heard him.

"So it's not actually part of the Code, then?" Revan pressed.

Bastila sighed. "Technically, I suppose not but it's still become a vial tenet of our order and-"

"So, where was that meeting again?" Revan cut her off, hastily. That subject was clearly boring him.

"This way," Bastila said, leading him once more towards the Council Chambers.

"Ah, I see you have returned, Revan," Vandar greeted him.

"Bastila's here, too," Revan pointed out.

"We're not blind, Revan," Vrook snapped.

"Did you find what you were seeking at the ruin?" Dorak asked eagerly.

"I wasn't really 'seeking' anything, so no," Revan answered.

"Can you tell us what you did find?" Zhar inquired. "And if you can, please do."

"We found a bunch of old droids and now Bastila wants us to go to Kashyyyk, Korriban, Manaan, and Tatooine on the off-chance she can complete her star map," Revan explained succinctly.

Too, succinctly as it turned out as Vrook asked, "Revan, what in the name of the Force are you talking about? Or, better yet, why don't you tell us, Bastila?"

"Gladly," Bastila agreed. "We found Nemo – yes, we know, Revan, you find that endlessly if inexplicably amusing – dead inside the ruins. There was a few feet away from him who spoke a language no one but Revan could understand. Revan translated that a species called the Rakatan had once conquered a good portion of the Republic using their Star Forge, which was a quick and resource-light way of producing supplies for a war and which Malak now apparently has. After we passed a few tests, we were allowed in to see a Star Map that points to the location of the Star Forge. Unfortunately, the map is incomplete but I did manage to identify Korriban, Manaan, Kashyyyk, and Tatooine on key locations of the map and I believe that if we travel to these planets we'll find more Star Maps which can lead us to the Star Forge."

"It sounds like a long shot," Vrook noted. "But why not? It's not like we have any better plan."

"What?" Revan cried out, horrified. "But…but that's so stupid! And annoying! And it'll take forever!"

"We thought you might react this way," Vandar said solemnly. "And we thought long and hard about it. Eventually, Master Vrook hit upon a way to convince you. We cannot force you to go on this quest, but we're not letting your ship take off until you do so if you'd like to stay here that is fine. Padawan Juhani, the Jedi you redeemed, has asked to stay by your side as it will remind her of how close she came to falling and we have decided to grant her request-"

"I'll defect right now!" Revan threatened, trying not to panic.

"Unless you agree to go after the Star Maps," Vandar concluded with a hint of triumph in his voice.

Revan groaned. "When do I leave?"

"As soon as possible," Dorak answered.

Revan said nothing else as he stormed out of the room, followed closely by Bastila.

Strangely, as he left he could have sworn he heard Zhar saying, "And so you've managed to persuade Revan yet again, Vrook. How do you always manage it?"

"I trained Malak for years," Vrook responded. "You honestly think I don't have experience dealing with this kind of thing?"

"I'll get the ship ready to go, you go find the rest of our group," Bastila instructed before heading towards the Ebon Hawk.

Revan quickly headed off towards the cafeteria where he was sure to find Mission and Zaalbar. Canderous and Carth didn't enter the enclave much due to hypocritical and pathetic Jedi pacifism-induced headaches and distaste and growing paranoia at never being told anything, respectively.

Revan spotted them at a table near the door hoarding a good three-quarters of the deserts while everyone else glared at them. They seemed not to mind, however. "Hey, you two, it's time to get out of here."

"Finally!" Mission exclaimed, standing up. "Here, help me carry these, will you? If I give them to Big Z, he'll just eat them on the way to the ship."

"You wound me, Mission," Zaalbar complained.

"Yeah, that's not exactly a denial I'm hearing," Mission pointed out.

Revan obligingly picked up half of Mission's share and they began making their way towards the ship and freedom.

Juhani stepped in their path suddenly. "Padawan," she greeted. "Have you heard that I have asked to accompany you on your epic quest to save the galaxy? I have not heard back from the Council yet, but I hope to serve as a reminder to you about the perils of the dark side and how easy it is to fall, just as you serve that role for me."

"…Yeah, that's really great, whoever you are," Revan told her after staring at her for a few seconds. "But I'm kind of in a hurry so take this up with the Council."

"Alright, I vill," Juhani nodded. "I vill be back shortly to tell you vhat they said so don't go anywhere."

The minute she was out of sight, Revan translated that for his two companions.

"Run."

Note: See? Carth can be a goody-goody without subjecting everyone to Juhani for the whole trip. And that really is one of the only things big enough to convince Revan to even bother in the first place…He really can't stand attempts to be a decent Jedi and orange outfit, naturally.

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