Chapter 10

Song:

AWAY WE GO!

I arrived at my house, locked my car, and headed inside. Edward followed suit, quickly and quietly. I walked in, and the house was absolutely silent. I headed into the living room and there everybody sat, dressed and ready for this meeting. I walked over to Bella, who stood up with tears in her eyes.

"How could you bring him here?" She asked, hurt because Edward was here.

"Yeah Rose, what the hell are you thinking?" Alice asked.

"Chill guys, he's cool. " I looked over my shoulder and sent him a reassuring smile to him. He looked so alone, and like he knew he was hated.

"Rose…did you hit your head sweetie?" Emmett asked. I stared at him and at everybody in the room.

"Can you guys stop acting like dicks and give this kid a chance to explain shit? I did and I was probably the one most screwed over by him." I said, putting my hands on my hips.

Silence filled the room. Jazz coughed trying to break the awkwardness. When nobody seemed willing to begin speaking I flipped a bitch.

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is such bullshit. He said he's sorry, he said he'd pay for the damage he did, and he came here to apologize to everybody. Emmett, Jasper, he's your best friend, and you're acting like you can't stand to be near him. Alice he's your cousin, your family and you're acting like you've never seen him before. And Bella, I know you were raised better than that. You should hear him out. You all make me sick." I ranted before storming upstairs. I was pissed. How could they treat him like that, like yeah he fucked up, but doesn't everybody? It's human nature. If I could forgive him why can't they? It was Bella and I he fucked over and I am willing to over look it.

I heard shuffling down stairs, but wasn't bothered enough to go see what was happening. Bella and Alice came up and knocked on my door, but I really just wanted to be alone. My thoughts drifted, and I found myself contemplating cutting again. I trusted them to have my back, and to trust that what I was doing, was best for everybody, but like everybody else, they let me down. Now I feel like I can't trust anybody except myself.

Can I even trust myself? I've let everybody down, and I've slipped back into that darkened place again. I walked into my bathroom and lifted the rug. There was the loose board that held all my old cutting tools. I started running bath water so nobody could hear my sobs while I cut my self again. I took my clothes off, so I could stare at my ugly self in the full length mirror I had, as I slowly slid to the floor. I leaned against the porcilan tub and drug the blade against my wrist. Soon there was blood all over my hands and the floor. Dizzily I stood up, and climbed into the warm water. There I just sat, sobbing, blood coloring the water a beautiful scarlet.

I was so tired, and dizzy. I rested my head against the side, the coolness of the tub calming my stinging skin, and closed my eyes. Would I be alright? Did it even matter anymore? I slowly drifted farther and farther into the blackness.

It was dark. I felt free and safe, like I was floating. I looked around this new dark place, and felt at peace. There was no heartbreak, no depression, just bliss. I wished Emmett was here to enjoy this with me. To my left was a blinding light that I couldn't ignore. I began walking towards it when I noticed a large white gate. Mom and Dad sat on the other side, whole and well, smiling and holding hands. I giddily ran over to them, only to be stopped and pulled backwards by an invisible pair of hands. There was pain. So much pain now, constricting my throat. I felt like the crisp cool air I was just breathing wouldn't get through to my lungs. My veins burned with need for oxygenated blood. I felt pressure on my chest, and warm breath whispering loving kisses on my cold, dry lips.

Suddenly my quiet peaceful world was no longer quiet. It was filled with the defining noise of sobbing, and a very obnoxious beeping. My eyelids fluttered, but when I opened them I felt blinded by the shinning light. It wasn't the pretty light, like the one I saw in my dark world. It was entirely too bright and it gave me a headache. I closed my eyes again, trying to drift back into my dark world. There, I felt that all my mistakes, heartaches, losses, emotions, anything didn't exsist. There I didn't exsist, and that was exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to live with all this anymore. I've been strong for too long, and I can't do it anymore.

The sobbing eventually died down, but the beeping did not. I was still so tired that my eyes remainded closed, and I tried to sleep. For what seemed like a long time there was silence, then one day I heard a voice that I cherished so much. The voice belonged to the reason I fought for so long, the reason I hadn't given up before.

"We're taking her off the life support, I'm sorry son but I don't think she'll recover from this one."

"Please, Carslile, she's your niece, don't give up on her yet. I know she'll pull through. She's stronger than anybody I've ever met."

"Emmett…"

"Carslile, please!" He growled…

AUTHORS NOTE:

OH shit! Rosalie had another dark moment. And you all thought she was over that…But I promise, this adds to the drama that is soon to unfold within the next few chapters. Basically this chapter is about some stuff that I've been going through, the past few days and I needed to put my emotions somewhere else. I hope you all still enjoy it…I promise it'll get better.

Please read and review! I want to know what you all think.

Love and Dinosaurs,

Katie.