HAVE A KAWAII CHRISTMAS, MINNA-SAMA~ BTW THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO SOMEONE WHO IS SOOOO KAWAII, AND THE ORIGINAL DORA THE EXPLORERXSPAIN FAN DESU.

It was Christmas Eve, and America was getting ready for the FUCKING EPIC Christmas party he was going to have. Everyone was going to be there, even creeps like Russia and France. It would be so cool. He had been decorating his for like, FOREVER just so everyone else could see how EPIC he was.

OMG HE WAS JUST SO HEROIC.

He just could wait for everyone to see what he'd bought them. For England, he'd bought a pass for free McDonalds for a whole year. Everyone knew how much England LOVES McDonalds, he's just a big tsun tsun dere dere. For France, he had bought some underwear that was superglued around the edges, because no one wants to see France take it off. (it was sexy woman's underwear so it wasn't TOO bad) For Italy, he'd invented a PASTA BURGER. Which was way better than any of Italy's crappy pasta dishes. (MOAR SALT AND FAT, YESSSSS) There were a load more but no one cares. There was also some maple syrup for someone whose name America couldn't really remember… But he had an idea that he really fucking loved maple syrup. (IMPORTED FROM CANADA NO LESS)

America had struggled to find a dog that would let him wrap it, so he settled for a stuffed dog with a hole in it for Germany.

Anyway EVERYTHING WAS READY. There was a million tonnes of AWESOME AMERICAN FOOD, several lorries full of alcohol (because pretty much everyone is an alcoholic), and it was EVEN SNOWING. SO PRETTY KAWAII DESU.

So America decided to go to bed because he totally didn't believe in Santa anymore… Not after England left…

SAD FLASHBACK TIME.

"ENGLAND, YOU USED TO BE SO KAWAII…"

END SAD FLASHBACK.

So America woke up, and went downstairs to admire all of his HEROIC PRESENTS. HOWEVER. EVERYTHING WAS GONE!

"TONY YOU DICK, YOU'D BETTER GIVE THEM BACK!"

But Tony hadn't stolen them. (he even pinky promised) America was super worried. He looked all round his house for the presents but he couldn't find them. He was almost in tears when the first guests arrived.

"HEY YOU GUYS. Um, I did have AWESOME presents for you, but they've been stolen!"

But no one believed America because he's kind of an idiot and always forgets shit like this.

"You bloody fool, there's no use lying. Just say that you forgot, we don't bloody care!"

"Oui, listen to kawaii Angleterre. It doesn't matter."

"BUT GUYS, I REALLY DID…"

"Oh bloody shut up and let's get pissed!"

So the other nations got drunk. But America was sad…

"IF ONLY I COULD FIND OUT WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS…"

But then, he noticed something. There was a trail of water heading out of the door!

"OMG, TONY LET'S FOLLOW THIS TRAIL!"

So they did, and it went for quite a while. Eventually, they found the culprit. America couldn't believe it!

"OMG IT'S YOU!"

IT WAS THE WHALE. THE ONE WHO HAD TAKEN AMERICA TO THE EVIL SCIENTIST'S LAYER.

"But… Why?"

The whale shed a single manry tear.

"Because you promised you'd make me president. But you never came back for me. I was so lonely… So lonely…"

America felt so bad for the poor thing.

"WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ANYMORE. COME TO MYPARTY, WE'LL HAVE A KAWAII FUN TIME DA ZO!"

The whale accepted and so they went back to the party, with all the presents.

When they got back to the party America saw that they were all have an AWESOME time.

England and France were pissed out of their tiny minds, and dancing naked on top of a table. Germany had a dog on his cock BECAUSE HE'S GERMANY and was dancing with Italy, who was constantly asking is dog sex tasted like pasta. Spain was dressing Romano up as Dora the Explorer for the lulz. Russia had the Baltics walking round him in a conga line, occasionally throwing empty vodka bottles at them when they went too slow. Prussia and his little bird were teaching Hanatamago and various other creatures how to play strip poker. Japan and China were having some kind of weird kungfu ninja showdown, and were speaking in weird unkawaii moonspeak. Belarus and her mysterious husband were in the corner doing OH GOD I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW, PUT DOWN THAT LITRE BOTTLE OF MAPLE SYRUP MYSTERY MAN.

So America gave everyone their presents and everything was right in the world.

He declared the whale his boss that night too, and so they lived happily until the whale discovered that it couldn't actually live on land, and suffocated and died.

OM NOM NOM WHALE MEAT.