A/N: Headlong back to plot now, I've caught up with myself but the Muse is being good to me so hopefully there won't be a delay in chapters.

Thank you so much for your reviews, I hope you'll stay with me til the end :D

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"How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me

I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you…"

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It had been hours since Harley had seen the Joker or Frost and she was bored. Bored and hungry. Since her transformation from Harleen to Harley, her threshold for quiet and inactivity was fairly non-existent. It was one thing the Joker had always fulfilled, she was rarely bored, but when she was, it was unbearable. It had been a few days since her puddin' had brought her cubs' home and it had become painfully clear that the Joker, and her Hyena's, were jealous and possessive over her. Bud and Lou would growl and snap when the Joker got within two feet of Harley and he'd send them to their corner or put them in their crate for daring to take his spot on the couch beside her or in the bed.

Harley had already fed the Hyenas, cleaned the bedroom and connected bathroom and closets, she'd practiced some of her gymnastic movements and had a bath, she had cleaned up after the cubs again and put them down for a rest, she'd changed the bedding and cleaned and sharpened the knives. Now she was left alone with the vile voices in her mind.

Harley was sat on the bed, her legs crossed and her arms wrapped around her body. The four baby suits were laid out on the bed in front of her and her eyes were set on them, though she was definitely lost in her mind. She was rocking slowly, her lips mumbling in reply to the voices in her head.

"No, no, shush, shut up," she said desperately.

"Are you sure you cleaned and fed the Hyena's properly? He'll shoot them if they get another one of his shoes," Harleen whispered urgently.

"How could he love a mess like you?" Devil chuckled. "Look at yourself, you're beyond crazy now. You'd be the most popular exhibit at the zoo. Waiting and begging for food, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Stop it!" Harley shouted.

"Come back to Belle Reve, baby, we've got a welcome party waiting for you," Griggs demonic voice chimed in.

"It's where you belong, not here, you don't deserve this," Devil continued.

"Stupid girl," another new voice hissed. Dad? She wondered.

"Pathetic child," that one sounded like her mother.

"We told you not to go to that damned asylum, we told you that you'd end up like this," her father yelled at her in her head.

"How could you do this to us, Harleen? How could you let us down?" her mother said sharply.

"I don't care about you," Harley snapped.

"You always were a daddy's girl," her mother laughed.

"Not by choice," Harley growled.

"Talking to the parents? I've always wanted to meet the in-laws," the Joker's voice cackled to her. That made Harley recoil and she fell flat back on the bed. She put her hands over her eyes and shook her head.

"You can't stop me like that Harley," the Joker purred. She snapped her eyes open and he was there, above her on the bed. She reached out but her hand went straight through the odd barely-there vision of her love. "You poor little thing, you have everything you ever dreamt of and you're still unhappy enough for us voices in your head to be taking over. What more can I do for you, Princess? Hmm?"

"You're not real, puddin'," Harley said slowly.

"I'm real enough to make you scared," he laughed. "Oooh that pretty little heartbeat of yours is positively racing, Harley, a mixture of fear and arousal, ooh-wee, what a combo. Shame that it's about to be wasted. I'm busy with work and if you come and find me, sweetheart, I will put a bullet through your head."

"But I ain't done nothin', Mistah J," Harley whimpered. "I ain't done nothin' bad!"

"Exactly," he smiled. "You haven't done anything at all since I rescued you. You've killed one person, took some drugs and pissed me off. Shall we not talk about the babies? Because I really don't want to have to go over how it's your fault that you lost them."

"It wasn't my fault, shut up!" Harley shouted.

"Oh but it was, wasn't it, honey?" He laughed louder and louder

Three years earlier

The Joker was on his way back to the club, to his Queen. He'd had a successful raid of the docks, without alerting the Bat and he was home free. He'd barely broken a sweat and reinforcing his image and status on Gotham's underworld felt great. Things had changed for the Royalty of Gotham and the Joker was actually looking forwards to it. The only people that knew anything were his goons and Jonny Frost, just how the Joker liked it. They pulled up outside the club and he got out of the car, gripping his cane.

"Boss, where would you like the gear?" Jonny asked discreetly.

"Take it round with the car and have it cleaned down," the Joker nodded. "Then we start shifting some of the crap we don't need. I'm going to see Harley, all of you need to watch out for the Bat."

"Got it, sir," Jonny nodded and turned back to the car and the following van. The line outside cheered and applauded the Clown Prince and he walked into the lobby. He went to his suite and saw his beautiful blonde perched on a chair, staring longingly at her cage. He knew that she was desperate to go back to dancing, but it was too dangerous.

"Harley," the Joker purred and she snapped her head round to him. She grinned and got to her feet. She walked over and kissed him deeply.

"Hey puddin'," Harley giggled against his mouth. "I've missed ya."

"Did you get some more sleep?" Joker smiled and stroked her waist.

"Yeah, I did," Harley nodded. "I thought I could come down here and wait for you. I saw the news, no one seemed to notice your raid." She giggled as his hand slid from her side to the top of her small, but undeniable bump. He kissed her again and caressed her belly gently.

"How are my babies?" Joker asked.

"They're good," Harley answered with a grin. "I was listening to the heartbeat thing, it helped me sleep and it that made them calm down a little."

"Good," he said and nodded. He took her to sit with him and Harley plopped into his lap so she was sat sideways across his legs. He kept one hand on the top of her bump and the other touched her back. He rested his chin on her shoulder and smiled a bit. Oh how life had changed

"Has there been any trouble?"

"No, puddin', it's all been quiet. If there had been the girls would've sorted it out, they know I can't," Harley replied. "Due to my condition an' all, although there's a few in that crowd that I'd love to show my belly. Your little fan club's back and they're pissin' me off."

"You're so cute when you're jealous," the Joker chuckled and patted her ass.

"I'm not jealous of 'em," Harley shrugged. "I'm the one who's havin' your babies, they just… they're always tryin' ta catch your eye and get your attention. I don't like it. They've spent all evening askin' the bar girls where you are."

"I can get rid of them," the Joker smirked.

"Do it, daddy," Harley grinned and nodded her head excitedly. He merely laughed at her and looked at her bump. "Not long until we feel them move, puddin', two weeks the internet reckons."

"Good. They're strong, Harley, very strong," the Joker told her, his eyes intense in a way she'd never seen before. He stroked his hand over her belly and kissed her gently.

"They take after their papa," Harley nodded and he cupped her jaw with a sigh. Frost stood at the doorway and watched the couple carefully. The Joker had never been so affectionate with Harley and to start with it had set the blonde on edge, wondering when the next hit or smack would come from, but now she accepted it as a loving gesture and his regular gifts as signs of genuine emotion. There was a crash and bang and then screams as people fled the club. A whoosh of a cape and the noise of a batarang.

"Boss," Frost shouted suddenly as he saw the goons run towards the club with guns and launchers.

"Batsy," Joker snarled. "Harley, get upstairs and hide. Go now!" Harley didn't need to be told again and she took off up to the apartment as fast as she could. She pressed the button on the elevator several times before the noise of a caped wonder got too close. She turned to hide elsewhere, she saw a flash of dark red and yellow before she was tackled to the floor.

"Got you!" Robin said gleefully. "You're going back to Arkham and not getting out this time."

"Get off me!" Harley yelled. She'd landed hard on her knees and forearms, desperately trying to keep her belly off the floor. "Mistah J!" She screamed only to have Robin cover her mouth with his hand.

"Your abusive boyfriend's a bit busy with the Batman right now," Robin laughed and he pulled her to her feet. "And you've got a nice warm cell waiting for you."

"I told you to get off of me!" Harley growled and threw herself backwards into Robin and crushed him against the wall. Robin let go and Harley made another run for it. Where are you, J?! Harley thought furiously.

"Feisty, I see why he took a shine to you," Robin chuckled.

"Stop! Please stop it!" Harley screamed at Robin. "You'll kill them!" he punched her in the stomach once before Harley collapsed and curled herself into a ball. She shrieked as pain coursed through her and Robin just laughed.

"I will destroy you myself if anything happens to-"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Robin smirked. "You'll try anything to get back to him, wont you? Shame, Batman told me you used to be one of the brightest sparks of Arkham." He wrapped his hand around her arm and he tugged her towards the roof. The Batplane would be there and he wasn't leaving empty handed tonight.

"Leave me alone! I haven't done anything!" Harley snapped and shouted. "How can you take me to that god forsaken shit hole when I've been watching TV all evening!"

"Shut up, Quinn," Robin chuckled. They got to the roof and Harley struggled as much as she dared. She saw the small jet and she panicked.

"You're gonna hurt my babies!" Harley shouted and punched at him.

"Give over, Harley, no one buys that crap from you," Robin said and tried to wrestle Harley's arms behind her so he could arrest her.

"Get off! Leave us alone!" Harley growled. She kicked Robin away but shouted out again. Her hand dived between her legs and she started to scream and scream as she saw blood. Robin froze and he stopped breathing. "You've killed them!" Harley screeched.

"Harley, I'm-I didn't-"

"Robin, time to go!" Batman shouted and appeared beside the Boy Wonder. He looked to Harley and then to Robin.

"Puddin!" she screamed as loudly as she could.

"Harley!" the Joker called and dashed to her. The Batman was hot on his heels. Joker punched Robin and gathered Harley too him. "It's okay baby, daddy's here, it's okay. What did he do to you?"

"I'm losin' them, Mistah J... I can't… I'm 16 weeks, I'm not-they won't-we're gonna lose 'em. No, no, NO!"

"It was all your fault," the Jokers voice laughed loudly. "You weren't fast enough and you didn't protect them. You lost the heirs of Gotham."

Harley was broken and beyond crying. She rocked in the corner of the bed as the voice in her head laughed at her. She grabbed her phone and her cold and numb fingers fumbled to the Joker's number. She called him but he hung up. Seven times.

"Please puddin', please," Harley begged on the final phone call. When he also ignored that one, she snapped and threw herself to the floor. She crawled to the desk and broke the lock on one of the drawers. She found some of the Joker's business stash and she lined it up. She quickly looked round to the door before she snorted the powder.

A moment later, the voices had stopped and she laughed loudly. She stood up and then put her hands on the floor. She lifted her legs into the air and 'walked' around on her palms. Her laughter became louder and louder as she flipped and rolled around the room.

"Shh, Harley, shh," she giggled to herself. "Puddin' will get angry, come on and behave yourself. No." She laughed again and it turned into a cackle. She stripped off her clothes except for her red and black lace underwear and she smirked to herself. She rarely thought she looked good, preferring Mistah J to tell her, but she thought she looked great.

Harley climbed up the frame of the bed and laid herself along the drape rails of the four-poster bed. She remembered all the times he'd tied her arms and legs to the posts and tormented her until they'd both fallen to pleasure. She giggled and let herself slip down from the rail. She held onto it with her hands and tucked her knees up under chin. She swung on it a little before she hooked her legs over the rail and she hung upside down. Her hands tugged at the lace curtains around the bed and she wrapped the material around her body, enjoying the feeling of it on her skin. She closed her eyes as she heard heavy footsteps stomping towards the bedroom door. It slammed open and her Joker was stood there, anger clear in his eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Joker shouted and he marched towards the bed.

"Enjoyin' myself, puddin'," Harley giggled and pulled the white lace from her body. She grinned at him before she grabbed the rail, swung her legs back down and dropped to her feet in front of him. She pressed against his body and she kissed him. The Joker didn't react, didn't return the kiss, he was stone cold as Harley moved against him. When she moved back, he picked her up and threw her on the bed. She laughed to start with but then saw the look in his eye.

"Puddin'?"

"Where is it, Harley?" Joker asked lowly, his hands went around her throat and a flash of fear ran through her.

"What?"

"Where did you find coke?" Joker yelled, spittle splattered on her face and she winced a little bit at his anger. She pointed at the open drawer to his desk and he growled. He slapped her hard and took a fistful of her hair. He dragged her to the desk and he took the brick from the drawer and put it on the desk.

"How much have you had?"

"Just one line, puddin'."

"Don't call me puddin'!" the Joker roared and he threw her to the floor, he put his shod foot on her stomach so he could concentrate and keep her from escaping. He picked up a syringe and needle and prepared some ketamine.

"Mistah J, that hurts," Harley gasped as the heel of his shoe dug into her over-sensitive skin. She wrapped her hands around his ankle but he didn't seem to notice.

"I don't care," the Joker snapped and turned to her, his shoe hard against her stomach. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now? You've just disrupted a very important meeting with our Metropolis contact that we've had waiting for us for years, you've scared off half the Gotham drug pushers and buyers, you've put a tarnish on our name, so tell me my little harlequin, why shouldn't I kill you?"

"Because you love me?" Harley giggled. She was still laughing when the foot on her stomach then kicked her hard. He knelt beside her and pulled her up by her throat.

"I don't love you, you stupid bitch," Joker snarled.

"We all know that's not true puddin'," Harley cackled. She watched as he injected the ketamine into her bloodstream and she fought it for as long as she could before black unconsciousness took hold.

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A/N: Buckle up all, it's a rough and rocky world to the end now...