Doublemint Gum

By Tempest Break

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything.

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Chapter Eleven: Sugarless

Fred whirled upon George. "What in the hell was that all about?" he demanded. "Did you not get my last letter? I specifically asked you to stop being me."

"Yeah, I got it," said George.

"Did you read it?"

"Of course I read it."

Fred sighed. "Then I don't quite understand what's going on. You didn't listen to what I said?"

"That does appear to be the issue."

Fred stared at him.

"All right, an explanation. I can see you want an explanation." George ran a hand nervously through his hair. "The thing is, Fred, it's a little harder to stop than it was to start, you know? I guess you could say that the plan has been going quite well, with everything with Hermione, and to just reveal everything all at once… I mean, I feared for my wellbeing, and I would like to be able to have children someday. Carry on the family name."

"I seriously doubt the Weasley name is in danger of dying out," Fred returned dryly.

"Well, no, perhaps not. But you can understand, right?"

"Yeah, I can understand. Neither my heart nor my testicles are made of stone." He sighed. "You know, maybe it's better this way, after all. I'm back now, so we can make the transition seamlessly. We'll just say that you arrived tonight, and you can go back to being yourself, and I'll just pick up where you left off."

George stared at him. "'Pick up where I left off'?"

"Well, sure, with Hermione. That was the original plan, right?"

"Yeah, but I thought you canceled it in your last letter," George said. "You said all that stuff about falling in love with that other girl."

Fred's face immediately darkened. "Oh, that? Nah, I was just joking, you know me… In fact"—he grinned—"I bet you knew all along that I'd lose interest in her, didn't you, you rascal? That's the real reason you kept up with the whole charade. Bravo, bravo, my twin, you know me too well." He clapped him on the back. "Now, come on, let's head up to the house. Got to tell everyone that you've arrived, eh? Here, take your bags."

George took Fred's suitcase and followed his brother up the dirt path. His mind raced. He longed to explain to him what had happened that night: that Ron would probably be less than cordial to him for quite a long time, that it was he had defamed Fred's name nearly beyond salvation, and especially that the main reason he was hesitant to end the masquerade was that he did not want to have to give up everything with the fair Hermione.

Fred entered the house and looked around expectantly. "Mum! Ron, Ginny, Harry! George has come home!"

Later that night, when Fred had settled back in to his and George's room ("Wow, you even slept in my bed. That is dedication."), and they had turned out the lights for the night, the two of them lay in their own beds.

George stared at the ceiling. His bed was cold, and the sheets were stiff from disuse. He felt strange in his own skin.

"So exactly how far have you gone with Hermione?" asked Fred. "I don't want to push my luck with her tomorrow."

George felt sick to his stomach at the idea of Fred with Hermione. "Erm, well, you know. Not much, really, she's very shy, conservative…" Hermione's gasps and moans from earlier that day echoed in his mind. He did not want Fred to have her make those sounds. "We've barely kissed at all."

"Oh, really?" Fred sounded disappointed. "So what does that mean? Like, kissing with a little tongue or just chaste kiss on the cheek?"

"Hmm, not even. Cheek is too close to mouth, you see. I have kissed her on the forehead, though."

"Raunchy," Fred said sourly.

"Yeah, well, I get a very 'keep away' vibe from her. So just take it slow."

"I thought you said things had been going well with her."

"Oh, they have been. Does that not sound good to you?"

"Well, it's not quite what I was hoping for."

"Why? What would good progress have been to you? How far did you make it with that girl in your letter in a few days?"

Fred was silent. George heard him turn onto his side. "It's good to see you again, George. G'night."

He wondered what could possibly have happened with the girl to turn Fred's mood so instantly sour, but he was glad for that conversation to end. "…Night."

When George woke up in the morning, Fred was still sound asleep. He left the room as quietly as he could and went downstairs. It was earlier than he usually got up in the mornings, and the Burrow was quiet without Ron, Harry, or Ginny awake. He could hear his mum bustling about in the kitchen.

Hermione was reading in the living room when he passed through. She looked up and smiled. "Good morning, Fred," she said.

George smiled back. "Morning, Hermione." He started to talk toward her, but stopped. "Oh, and I'm George."

Her face fell a little. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were Fred."

"Yeah, well"—he grinned—"I get that a lot. I don't see it, but…"

She smiled again at him. "Well, it's nice to have you here, George. We've never really gotten to know each other. I mean, I don't think I ever really gave you and Fred a chance because you were such rule-breakers at school, and I didn't really approve. But I've been getting to know Fred pretty well this past week." Her cheeks turned a very faint pink. "And I would like to get to know you, too, if that's all right."

George wanted to kiss her senseless. She was so sweet to want to get to know his twin because of everything that had gone on between them in the past few days. He was on the verge of throwing caution to the wind when Ron and Harry appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Good morning, Ron," Hermione stammered.

"Morning." Ron shot a dirty glance at George but then seemed to doubt himself. Now that both twins were at the Burrow, he wasn't sure if he was glaring at the right one.

"So that sounds good, Hermione," said George nonchalantly. "Now I'm going to get some breakfast. Care to join me? Ron, Harry?"

"Sure… George," said Ron tentatively, seeming to guess that Fred would not be so cavalier with him.

George led the three others into the kitchen, where Mrs. Weasley was busily finishing breakfast. The frying pan was full of sizzling strips of bacon, and with a flick of her wand, Mrs. Weasley withdrew some glasses from the cupboard and filled them with orange juice. She sent them flying across the room onto the table.

"Good morning, you all," she said. "Are George and Ginny still asleep?"

"Ginny still is," said Hermione, "and it's Fred who's still asleep, actually. George is right here."

"Oh, sorry, George, dear," said Mrs. Weasley. "It's so nice to have you back, by the way. It was so strange not to have both of you twins together. I hope you didn't stay up all night talking."

"Mum, we're not twelve, we didn't stay up talking. We braided each other's hair and made friendship bracelets."

Ginny trailed into the kitchen finally, still in her pajamas, like Ron and Harry. She yawned widely as she sat down next to Harry. "You guys just can't shut up in the mornings, can you?" she asked bitterly.

"Not morning people, the Weasley children," Harry commented.

"The younger they are, the harder it is to get them up," said Mrs. Weasley wryly. "The two on either side of you, Harry, are the worst of the lot."

"If someone would just give me a bloody cup of coffee, I'd perk right up," Ginny grumbled.

"Not with that language, young lady."

"Sorry, Mum. Could I please have some ever-so-wonderful coffee so as to begin spewing rainbows and prancing about as I normally do?" she deadpanned.

"That's better." Mrs. Weasley sent a mug of coffee whizzing through the air so quickly that it nearly spilled all over Ginny, who caught it at the last second.

"It probably would wake you up sooner if you'd let it fall," Harry joked. Ginny scowled at him over the mug.

"Perhaps a caffeinated cookie or cupcake would be something useful to add to our Skiving Snackboxes," George thought aloud.

"But that would be the opposite of skiving," said Ron. "People would have more reason to go to class if they were awake."

"You're right," George admitted. "We don't want to encourage such behavior."

Mrs. Weasley's face momentarily darkened at the mention of what was arguably her least favorite merchandise that Fred and George offered. She sent the skillet of bacon skidding across the table to Ginny. "How has work been this past week, dear?"

"Yes, George," said Ginny, her previously bleary eyes now gleaming. "How has work been? Tell us, won't you?"

George glared at her. "I thought you were tired, Gin."

"Oh, but I am so, so interested in what has been going on in Diagon Alley. Remember when we visited you the other day? What was in that display that Ron knocked over, again?"

"Erm, I don't recall."

Ginny leaned in eagerly. "Oh, don't you? But you made such a big fuss out of it at the time, I was positive you would remember."

"People knock stuff over all the time, actually. To be honest, we kind of expect it now." George laughed nervously.

"But you must remember something about our trip. I would love to hear what you remember from it."

"Give it a rest, Ginny," said Ron. "Merlin, you're weird in the mornings."

"I would just like to hear what George thought of our visiting him that time. What do you remember, George? What color was my jumper? What joke did you tell us that made us all crack up? You must remember that."

George could feel the sweat on the back of his neck. Ron seemed frustrated with Ginny's questioning, and Harry was confused, but Hermione stared at him in interest. She had not been in Diagon Alley that day, but she was sharp enough to pick up on Ginny's tone. Could she possibly put two and two together…?

At that moment, Fred Apparated into the kitchen.

"Rub a dub dub, it's time for some grub," he said happily, taking a seat next to Hermione. "You know, Mum, I don't say this enough, but your cooking is just fab. Really top notch. You really don't appreciate it until it's not there anymore."

Mrs. Weasley smiled, gratified. "Well, thank you, Fred. That's awfully sweet of you."

"And the company couldn't be better, either," said Fred, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder and looking around the table. "Wow, what's eating you, Ronald? Have some bacon. Shall I feed it to you?"

"I think we've been over this already, Fred," Ron said through gritted teeth. Harry and Hermione both stared at Fred, horrified. Fred looked back at them, surprised at their expressions and Ron's anger. Ginny, however, looked at George, an eyebrow raised.

"It seems as though something very interesting happened while you were away, George, that I didn't tell you about," said Fred loudly. "How could I have forgotten to tell you something that has so clearly affected our dear little brother, about whom I care very deeply?"

"Oh, no, I'm sure I'm not very interested—"

"I insist that I tell you about it. You are very interested to know."

"Er, yes, all right," said George, "you'll tell me about it later, then."

"Oh, as soon as possible, I think." The two of them stared at each other over Hermione's head.

Harry whispered something to Ron, who replied loudly, "Because they're both barking mad. That's why."

After breakfast, Fred motioned for George to follow him up the stairs to their room to explain himself. George dragged his feet, dreading the conversation that would follow. He tried to postpone it as long as he could by staying at the breakfast table; he even offered to wash the dishes by hand, but Mrs. Weasley only looked at him suspiciously and told him to get out.

As he was leaving the kitchen, however, he felt a tug on his sleeve. Things were looking up!

No, they weren't. It was Ginny. She glowered at him, although there was also a gleam of triumph in her eyes, and perhaps a little "I knew it all along"-ness in the quirk of her eyebrow.

"So, when exactly were you planning on telling everyone about what a grand joke you played and that it's been you all along?"

George grimaced at her. "Oh, any second, Gin. This is a triumphal moment, really," he said sarcastically.

If possible, she raised her eyebrow even higher, with even more self-satisfaction.

"Can you not look at me like that?" he asked. "I know I messed up this time. You don't need to rub it in."

"Yeah, you did mess up, and I do need to rub it in," she said, folding her arms across her chest. "You've got Ron angry at Fred, who, for the first time in his life, doesn't actually deserve it, and despite what Hermione says, I know there's been stuff going on between you two, but she thinks it's between her and the real Fred, and somehow I'm sure that that was the real reason you did all of this in the first place. Were you two reading some sort of Greek play when you thought up this scheme?"

"You know about me and Hermione?"

"Oh, please. You're more obvious than me and The Boy Who Lived to Snog Me Loudly Every Chance He Gets."

"Ugh, spare me the details," said George, gagging. "You're still my little sister."

"Unfortunately," Ginny replied grimly. "And as such the burden falls on me to make sure you put things right. You need to explain everything to Ron and Fred and especially Hermione. I won't let you alone until you do it."

"It's not quite so easy, Gin. She'll murder me. You don't have all of your most vulnerable parts hanging from your body like an easily accessible piñata, or you would understand."

"Why does it always come down to genitalia with boys?" Ginny asked in exasperation. "Women have to go through menstrual cramps and childbirth. Did you ever think of that?"

"Well, I'm sure childbirth is painful," George conceded, "but what do you get out that? Babies. What do you get out of being hit in the nuts with a bat? Made fun of. Not even a trip to the hospital. No one ever says, 'Hey, I feel for you, mate.' It's just always, 'Wow, what an arse. I'm glad it wasn't me.' Not a thought for the future of his virility. You know, Gin," he sniffed, looking at her earnestly, "I long for the day when being terribly injured in a way that just happens to involve your testicles garners you just a shred of sympathy."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Look, this isn't George Weasley Therapy Hour. All I want is your word that you'll put everything right."

George sighed. "All right, I promise. But I hope you realize that this is exactly what I'm talking about."

There was a knock at the front door.

"Ginny, dear, could you get that?" Mrs. Weasley called from the kitchen. "That's bound to be that Muggle woman Mrs. McNealy with her casserole recipe. Stall her while I finish up with the dishes, will you?"

"All right, Mum," Ginny shouted back. She looked back at George. "Now you do what I said, or else." She gave him a look that meant business before turning back to the front door.

George slowly resumed the walk up the stairs to his and Fred's room, but as soon as he reached the bottom step, Fred appeared at the top of the staircase.

"How long were you planning on keeping me?" he asked impatiently. "I've been waiting years."

"I was only talking to Ginny…"

Behind him, Ginny opened the door. "Erm, are you Mrs. McNealy?" he heard her ask.

"Well, Ginny can wait, can't she?" Fred said. "I'm your twin, after all, and you seem to have some—"

"Erm, no, I'm not," replied the voice at the door. "I'm actually looking for Fred Weasley. My name is Gaia Genetrix."

Fred's face drained of color. He stared over George's head, stricken.

George turned around, too, and could see from beyond Ginny the familiar wheat-gold hair of Fred's nurse at St. Mungo's.

"We just met in the past week," continued the girl at the door. "You must be his sister Ginny. You look so much alike, same brown eyes and everything…"

"Well, Gaia," said Ginny happily, "any friend of my brother's is certainly a friend of mine, especially one met so recently. Please, come in."

"Who's that at the door, Gin?"

Ron had asked the question. He and Harry appeared behind Fred at the top of the stairs, their broomsticks in hand and a Quaffle under Ron's arm. With a plummeting heart, George saw Hermione tentatively following the two of them with a book, evidently planning to read while they played.

Fred and George looked at each other frantically.

"Oh, it's no one important, Ron," Ginny replied evilly. "Just a friend of Fred and George's, come to seal their fate."

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Tempest: Well, there you have it. Just one more chapter after this. By the way, I am shocked at how easy it is for me to write long chapters nowadays. It used to be a hassle just to write five or six pages, but this episode is over eight pages long. It could have been longer, but I wanted to wrap it up and post it before I lost momentum.

Close2MiiHeart: It's so nice to see you back to review again! I'm glad someone returned.

Ash: I appreciate that you made an exception for this story in your reviewing. Thanks so much for doing it!

And to ilo3645, ViperineVampire, millies, Mrs. RxDJxBLestrange, bookworm-4-ever2012, Marsala, and vampgirl725: Thanks so much for reviewing. Hardly anyone has any interest in such a non-mainstream pairing as Hermione/Weasley twin anymore, but I appreciate that you still reviewed!