FF_1/6/2009

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

Next chapter the rating will jump to M, so be prepared.

Remember My Name

Casey didn't flinch. He just nodded and agreed.

Pain… Confusion… He gasped and moaned with the pain. For a moment he wondered if he was still pinned in the debris. Had he just dreamed he'd been rescued?

Then Brass squeezed his hand gently and said, "I'm here Nick. You're safe. You just had surgery. Don't try to move yet. Just rest."

He squeezed Brass's hand once. He wanted to try to open his eyes, but he was afraid. He was afraid to be disappointed when he failed. And yet, he thought, if he didn't try, he'd already failed.

It wasn't until Brass asked, "What's wrong Nick?" that he realized he was trembling. He took a deep breath. He knew he needed to calm down. It hurt to take deep breaths. He didn't remember the pain in his ribs.

What did he remember? He remembered the doctor telling him about the surgery. He remembered arriving at the hospital and being cut from the rubble. His breath hitched as he remembered meeting Brass and his fear of Lt. Casey. He moaned as he remembered Chris testing the reaction of his pupils. He remembered waking in the debris. Before that his memory was still nothing, just blank nothingness. Tears trickled from his eyes.

"Nick, what's wrong?" Brass asked again, more urgently.

He opened his mouth to say, "It's still gone; my memory's still gone," but the words still wouldn't come. His hands clenched and he moaned with frustration and despair.

Brass seemed to know what he was going to say, though. He said gruffly, "Listen kid. It's gonna be ok. Doc says it's too soon for anything to come back yet. Your brain still needs to heal. Just rest." He felt Brass pat his arm and squeeze the hand he held.

He slowly got control of his tears. His hand shook as he traced T-H-X on Brass's palm. Then the doctor swept in and gave him the same information Brass had, using a lot more technical terms.

He focused on opening his eyes while the doctor was speaking. He unconsciously squeezed Brass's hand and gasped when he got them half-way open. His excitement dimmed when he realized everything was blurry.

"Nick?" Brass questioned softly.

He traced B-L-U-R and had to stop because his hand was shaking so badly.

"Everything's blurry?" Brass asked.

He squeezed Brass's hand once.

"That's the head injury, Nick," it was Dr. Jenkins who answered. "You've got a pretty bad concussion. Your vision will probably be blurry for a while. It's a good sign that you opened your eyes, though." He felt Dr. Jenkins pat his left shoulder gently. "Just rest Nick. It's going to take time, but things will improve."

He was tired, exhausted really. He roused himself a little when Brass called his name.

"Nick, do you remember Chris?" Brass asked.

He squeezed Brass's hand once.

"Either Chris or I will be with you, ok?" Brass waited for him to squeeze his hand once more before he said, "Ok, kid, just rest. Everything will be ok." He let himself be reassured by that but kept his hold on Brass until he drifted back to sleep.

Brass moved into the conference room Dr. Jenkins had directed him to on the same floor as ICU. He was nervous about leaving Nick alone, even though Dr. Jenkins had promised he'd stay with him and a uniformed officer was with him at all times. Brass had insisted on staying with Nick until he was settled in ICU, so he was a little late to this meeting.

He looked around as he entered the room. Chris sat between Ashley and Calleigh on one side of the table. Greg sat between Sara and Catherine opposite them. Grissom sat at the end of the table between Calleigh and Sara. A woman he'd never met before stood next to the door, closing it behind him.

"How is he, Jim?" it was Catherine who asked.

"He was able to open his eyes," Brass said gruffly. "Still couldn't speak or remember, though. And his vision was blurry."

"That's not terribly unusual," the stranger spoke quietly, turning to face the group. She was attractive, with auburn hair and bright green eyes. She smiled at the group. "Normally I'd have the patient's regular doctor introduce us, but Dr. Jenkins is with Nick and these aren't normal circumstances. My name is Megan O'Rourke and I'm Nick's psychiatrist."

She waited for the exclamations to die then answered the question on everyone's mind. "I've been seeing Nick at least once a week for almost eight years." A heavy silence fell as she continued. "Under normal circumstances and per Nick's wishes, I wouldn't be speaking with you even to tell you that much. But I have Nick's permission to speak with a select group of people if I feel the need is there and he's not capable of making that decision. I believe this situation falls under those conditions."

Silence reigned for sever more moments before Greg spoke. "You said a select group?" he questioned.

Megan sighed. "When Nick came back from Dallas after he was buried alive, he was very upset. His father was trying to force him to move back to Texas. Nick wanted no part of it. He felt and I agreed with him, that he needed to be here, in Vegas, with the people who did everything in their power to save him. We discussed his options and that's when he made a few changes. He changed his primary 'Next-of-kin' on his personnel records to Captain Brass." Megan nodded her head toward Brass.

"Jim… did you know?" Catherine gasped.

"Yeah," Brass answered gruffly. "Nicky talked to me about it before he sent the paperwork through. He also made me his power of attorney if he was ever deemed incompetent to make his own decisions. He didn't say why and I didn't ask."

"So, the rest of the group? I assume this is also when he gave you permission to talk to us." Grissom spoke calmly after another period of silence.

"Everyone in this room is listed in the document Nick composed." Megan smiled as Calleigh's head jerked up and she stared at the psychiatrist. "Yes, even you, Calleigh."

"How did you know…?" Calleigh's voice failed.

"… who you are?" Megan finished for her. "Have you ever heard Nick describe anyone?" Smiles flashed around the conference table.

Megan pulled a piece of paper from a folder sitting on the table. "The only people on the list not in this room are Chris's parents. But just to reassure everyone, I'll read the names Nick has listed: Jim Brass, Ashley Grey, Chris Taylor, Richard Taylor, Barbara Taylor, Gil Grissom, Catherine Willows, Greg Sanders, Calleigh Duquesne, and Sara Sidle." Megan had met each of their eyes as she read their name from the list, leaving no doubt that she knew who each of them were.

A/N: Thanks for the feedback. I'm trying to keep ahead of y'all! :)