Roxanne stalked through the Lair, past the car and the hover bike and the Spiderbot. Minion, carrying a laundry basket, rounded a corner and saw her.
"Er—" he said, and then seemed to take in the expression on her face. "I'll—uh—I've got some errands to run…"
"Good," Roxanne said, still striding forward. "You do that."
"Bots, this way!" Minion said, and then hissed, "Yes, 228, that means you, too! Come on, come on—"
Roxanne took a sharp turn into the main area of the Lair, her heels echoing sharply on the floor.
Megamind was pretty much where she had left him, leaning over a lab table, sketching something out. He looked up when she came in, and then straightened up from the table, a look of surprise coming over his face.
"Oh!" he said, "um. Did—did you—forget something?"
"No," Roxanne said, not slowing her walk.
Megamind's expression flickered into confusion, and then Roxanne was in front of him.
"I missed you," she said, rage simmering beneath her voice.
"You—you only left five minutes ago?" Megamind said uncertainly.
Roxanne caught his chin and pulled him forward into a hard kiss. He made a surprised noise but kissed her back. Roxanne tore her mouth away.
"I missed you like this," she said.
"Oh," Megamind said dazedly.
Roxanne kissed him again, fast and forceful, and reached her hand up to cup the back of his head. He made a soft noise into her mouth and she bit down on his lower lip.
She pushed herself away from him; Megamind stumbled a little, hands going back to the lab table to catch his balance, eyes on her, lips parted.
"Here's what's going to happen," Roxanne said. "You are going to tie me up, and then you are going to do whatever you want to me."
"Oh," Megamind said again, "uh. O—okay."
"You're really sure you don't want to give me a narrower set of parameters?" Megamind asked, standing at the foot of the bed, frowning slightly.
Roxanne, naked on the bed with her hands tied over her head, shifted her wrists experimentally. He'd tied her tightly enough this time that she couldn't get out; good.
He'd taken her to his bedroom. She'd been expecting him to tie her up and fuck her on the lab table, but he'd reached out for her hand and led her here instead.
Megamind's bedroom was—it sort of made Roxanne's heart ache. Mismatched bookshelves filled with tattered paperback books lined one wall; a cheap poster of an impressionist painting of the ocean was tacked in the middle of another (it had been a motivational poster, once, she thought, but the words on the bottom had been torn off and discarded.) The rest of the walls were bare concrete.
There weren't any windows, which—yes made sense, maybe, since it was in the Lair, but—surely he could have set up some sort of star-trek-y screen on one of the walls, made it look like a he had a view, at least.
The bed was a twin, for fuck's sake; how many banks had he robbed over the years? —and it had never occurred to him to buy himself a goddamn kingsize bed and some silk fucking sheets? Or at least something with a thread count over fucking—fifty, which was what these felt like, jesus christ.
(let me take care of you, Roxanne wanted to tell him, her rage from earlier cooling to sadness. Let me show you how to be nice to yourself. Someone clearly needs to.)
"I mean—" Megamind said, with a quick uncertain movement of one hand, "whatever I want, that's a—really—nonspecific—"
"I meant it," Roxanne said, "whatever you want."
She shifted on the bed again, with more purpose this time, one bare leg drawing up the other. Megamind's breath caught, a lavender flush painting it's way across his cheekbones, his eyes going slightly unfocused.
"Okay," he said, "okay, but—if you don't like something, you are going to tell me, right? You said—that's what Code: Safeword is for—"
"I will say the safeword if I want you to stop," Roxanne said, "but right now I'd like you to start."
Megamind laughed.
"All right, all right!" he said, taking off his cape and boots, pulling off his gloves. "Give me a second!"
"A second?" Roxanne said, heartbeat picking up at the sight of his bare hands—god, she was getting wet over seeing his hands, this was ridiculous, "I'm dying of old age over here!" He slid his pants off, pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. "You need clothes that don't take a hundred years to get out of, Megamind."
He pulled off the undersuit, stepped out of it, and then knelt on the bed in front of her, brushing one hand down the side of his own neck, almost absently, continuing the motion down his chest, towards the seam between his legs.
"Patience is a virtue!" he said scoldingly.
"Uh-huh, right," Roxanne said. "So's chastity, supposedly," she added, raising one eyebrow. "And modesty."
She spread her legs in front of him. Megamind gasped and ground the heel of his hand between his legs.
"Personally," Roxanne said, "I've never seen the point of them." She smirked. "Guess I'm just better at bad than you, Megamind."
"What?!" Megamind spluttered. "You—you are not!"
"Mm," Roxanne said, raising both eyebrows this time, "remind me again which one of us is doing the lecturing about virtue?"
Megamind laughed again, startled, head going back, throat bared to her.
"Touché," he said, looking at her again, eyes dancing.
"Yes, please do touch." Roxanne tilted her head illustratively at her body. "I've only been waiting forever now," she complained.
Megamind took a sharp breath as his tentacles slowly slid out of his body—god, that was so hot.
"So much complaining," he said, slightly breathlessly, hand stroking over his tentacles, and then cupping them. "But you—always did have a smart mouth, Miss Ritchi."
Roxanne felt a pulse of heat between her legs, waiting for the let me give you something better to do with your mouth that she was sure he'd say next—god, she could definitely go for that, Megamind's hands in her hair, Megamind thrusting into her mouth—
—but the moment passed and he didn't say it, just set one hand on her knee and drew his fingertips up her thigh instead.
"—yes," Roxanne said, slightly thrown by the unexpectedly missed opportunity. "I'm— not really sure why you never gagged me, before, during kidnappings," she added, the thought occurring to her for the first time.
She had always been pretty vocal in her criticism, during the kidnappings; really, the logical move on Megamind's part would have been to stop her from talking.
Megamind, bending to kiss her hip, looked up at her with an incredulous expression.
"Gagged you?" he said, and made a face. "Ugh, no."
Roxanne looked at him curiously.
"I said you had a smart mouth, Roxanne," Megamind said, "I never said I didn't like it."
Roxanne stared at him, a shock of desire going through her.
"Gagged you," Megamind scoffed. "Please."
He kissed the inside of her right thigh.
"Talking to you—" he leaned over to press his mouth to the inside of her other thigh, "was the highlight of every evil plot."
Roxanne's mouth shaped itself into an O.
She—she didn't know how to—how was she supposed to answer that—
"Our interactions were my primary form of intellectual stimulation," Megamind murmured into her skin.
Roxanne gasped—holy fuck, that was—a hell of a compliment, coming from Megamind—
He kissed her thigh again and moved his mouth between her legs.
"Oh," Roxanne said, arms jerking in the ropes.
Megamind hummed in response, the vibration of it making her breath hiss between her teeth, making her back arch.
God, how had she gone so long without realizing that this was what she wanted? That he was what she wanted: Megamind, with his infectious enthusiasm and his unexpected compliments—I said you had a smart mouth; I never said I didn't like it, and our interactions were my primary form of intellectual stimulation and—
Roxanne tugged uselessly at the restraints again—damn it, she wanted to put her hands on his head—
Megamind licked her harder, and Roxanne said—
"—fuck, Megamind, yes—"
—and wrapped her legs around his head instead. Megamind moaned, his mouth pressed against her. Roxanne moaned in answer and let her head fall back, closing her eyes and giving herself over to sensation, let everything else melt away, everything—everything—everything but the ropes around her wrists and her legs around the wide, smooth shape of Megamind's head and the heat of his mouth—
"—ah!" Roxanne gasped, body going taut with pleasure, and then boneless, relaxing back onto the bed, held upright by her bound arms. Megamind made a pleased noise and Roxanne unwound her legs from his head—shit, hopefully she hadn't kept him from breathing—
He was smiling, though, as he sat up, as he stroked her stomach with his fingertips.
"You know," Roxanne said, when she'd gotten her breath partially back, "that wasn't really what I was expecting when I told you that you could do whatever you wanted to me."
Megamind's hand went still on her skin, an uncertain look coming across his face.
"Bad?" he asked.
"What?" Roxanne said, "No! No, Megamind, come on, don't be ridiculous, that was definitely not bad, oh my god. I just—it wasn't what I expected; I—was that—I. Was that really what you wanted to do?"
"I mean," Megamind said, "it's not—the only thing I want to do—"
Roxanne smiled, raising her eyebrows.
"Oh?" she said archly. "Is that so?"
Megamind's mouth curved up into a sharp smile, wicked around the corners.
"Oh, Miss Ritchi," he said, placing the palm of his hand flat against her stomach. "I have—such plans for you."
He slid his hand down, began slowly circling her clit with his fingers. Roxanne gasped.
"I didn't get to make you come like this last time," he said, as if he thought the idea of fucking Roxanne with his fingers was some sort of privilege. "I'm really looking forward to it."
"—well," Roxanne said, long-suffering tone belied by the slightly breathy quality of her voice and the way she was already squirming beneath his hand a little, "I suppose, if it means that much to you."
Megamind laughed, and leaned forward to capture her mouth with his, nipping at her lower lip.
"Smartass," he murmured against her mouth.
He kissed her again, then sat back on his heels, watching her as he continued to finger her.
It was—really quite intense, having her arms tied over her head like this, Megamind's gaze raking down over her throat and her shoulders and her breasts and then sliding back up to her face—the way he was looking at her, watching her with such—utter focus as his fingers stroked her; the way the only sound in the room was Roxanne's increasingly hard breathing.
"It has occurred to me," Megamind said, finally speaking, "based on our previous experiments together—"
Roxanne pushed up into his hand, biting her lip to hold back a whimper.
Jesus, why was that so hot: Megamind saying 'experiments' in that tone, in this context—
"—that this—" he pressed a little more firmly against her clit,"—is the primary location for your sexual pleasure, correct?"
He reversed the direction in which his fingers were circling.
"—yes," Roxanne said.
Megamind reached up with his left hand and ran his fingers up and down the lips of her sex, still stroking her clit with his right.
"Actual penetration," Megamind continued, sliding a finger of his left hand into her, then adding another, "is non-essential."
Roxanne felt a shudder of sensation go through her.
Damn it, that wasn't even dirty talk, Roxanne, get it together—
"Am I right about that, Roxanne?" Megamind asked, gently thrusting his fingers in and out of her while continuing to play with her clit.
"—yes," Roxanne said, striving to match his tone of scientific curiosity, "the—ah!—there's a—a feeling of fullness, of being stretched, but it's not—ohh—not as pleasurable as—not as intense—and part of the appeal is—psychological, not physiological—"
"Another difference between our species, I think," Megamind said, "because when you put your fingers in me, the stretching feeling was incredibly intense, positively overwhelming. Although—the psychological appeal, yes, I can certainly see what you mean, there, but—however! Back to the subject at—hand—" he bit his lip and grinned at Roxanne, who groaned, partially at the completely terrible pun and partially at how hot and—stupidly endearing—she found his terrible puns oh god, she was in way over her head with him, much too attracted, far, far too in love—
Megamind snickered, and then schooled his face into a serious expression once more.
"Ahem! Yes," he said, "back to the subject at hand. I did, however, also notice, when I was inside of you, moving—my—tentacles—that there was a particular angle which—"
He crooked his fingers in a way that was so shockingly, exactly right that Roxanne very nearly screamed, crying out sharply.
"Yes, there it is," Megamind murmured, continuing to stroke her with both of his hands as Roxanne cried out again, hips jerking, climax rushing through her. "There. Perfect. God, Roxanne, you're so fucking perfect, do you know that?"
Roxanne—felt her eyes wanting to fill up with tears at that (why did he have to say things like that when he didn't love her, why couldn't he just love her) but luckily Megamind leaned in to kiss her before he noticed.
She kissed him back and felt the tears recede. Megamind pulled away and regarded her again, hands on his own knees now, head tilted at a contemplative angle.
"…what?" Roxanne said after a moment.
"I'm trying to figure out which one I like more," Megamind said.
"What, going down on me or fingering me?" Roxanne asked, slightly incredulous.
"Mhm," Megamind said, "yes. I very much enjoy the—closeness of using my mouth on you, and the way you taste is extremely—but I also really love watching you come. It's fascinating. The expressions on your face and the arch of your spine, and—" He smiled at her crookedly. "—also the fact that it's an involuntary reaction is incredibly gratifying to me."
Roxanne frowned, trying to follow.
"The fact that it's involuntary?" she asked. "I would have thought—that would be—a turn-off for you, honestly? The way that it's like—blinking or sneezing for me—" she trailed off.
"What? No," Megamind shook his head. "Definitely not a turn-off, how could you think—the fact that—that you definitely feel—that you aren't just—humoring me, that you aren't just letting me think—that I really am able to make you feel that good—" he shrugged, smiling again. "Like I said, incredibly gratifying…" he trailed off, eyes going wide, and then his smile widened, sharpened, into what Roxanne recognized as his 'I have just had a very clever idea' smirk.
"What?" she asked.
"Sneezing," he said, with a wicked chuckle, and, without further explanation, moved to put his mouth between her legs again.
"Ah!" Roxanne said. What did—sneezing have to do with—ohhh, god; he was really good at that, and he was—not messing around at all this time, eating her like he wanted her to come right now, not pausing or easing up or stopping, and it was really goddamn effective, Roxanne was close, much faster than she'd expected, so close, almost—
He stopped. Roxanne gave a cry of dismay, which changed into a moan as he stroked her with his fingers instead.
All right, if he wanted to—do that instead, that was—more than okay, fuck, yes, she was—
He stopped.
"What are you—" Roxanne cut herself off with a gasp when he started to lick her again.
Yes—that was—she—
He stopped.
"You—oh my god, seriously, sneezing?!" Roxanne said, because all of a sudden, she got it: sneezing, god damn it, and the way it was so frustrating when someone stopped you from doing it—
Only Megamind, really. Only Megamind would independently come up with the concept of edging after a chance remark about sneezes.
Megamind smirked at her and started to finger her again.
Okay, okay, good, she'd gotten it, he would let her come now, right? She was—
He stopped.
Roxanne gave a growl of frustration and Megamind laughed, then bent his mouth to her again.
This time, Roxanne wasn't taking any chances; she moved to wrap her legs around his head again—
Megamind ducked out of the way—fuck he was fast—
"I have a better idea," he said, moving to untie the knot holding her hands to the headboard, then pushing lightly at her, urging her to kneel facing the headboard.
"Does this—better idea—involve you fucking me like this?" Roxanne asked, letting him tie her hands to the headboard again, his body pressed against her back, his tentacles writhing against her skin, his fingers moving swiftly with the rope. She arched her back invitingly. Behind her, she heard Megamind's breath catch.
"That is—very tempting," he said, "but—no, I—here, let me—"
He finished the last knot and then moved to lie with his head beside her, looking up at her. He slid his hand around one of her knees, guiding her to straddle his head.
"Okay?" he asked, hands moving to her waist.
"Holy shit," Roxanne said, looking down at him—he wanted her to—
She lowered herself onto his mouth and he made a pleased noise, tongue going out to lick her.
Roxanne moaned and let herself rock lightly against him, fucking his mouth—god, his head, the shape of it, large and blue and—undeniably him, and the trust implied in the way he was lying there, letting her—wanting her to do this—
—the way he was looking up at her, like he was watching something amazing—
He moaned, and she felt him take one hand from her waist; was he—she looked over her shoulder—yes, god, yes, he was touching himself while she did this; that was—
Roxanne cried out, grinding herself down against his mouth as she came.
She panted for breath, looking back down at Megamind—oh, she should—she lifted herself up shakily, Megamind helping her to balance, both of his hands on her waist again, and swung her leg off of him.
"Roxanne—" he said, eyes dark, voice rough around the edges.
He pushed himself up to sit against the headboard, pulled her to straddle his lap, and kissed her, hands cupping her face.
"Is—is this—?" he asked, breaking the kiss, tentacles stroking at the edges of her sex, stroking but not—
"Yes," Roxanne said, pushing herself down as he pressed two tentacles into her. "Yes," she said again, starting to roll her hips, riding him.
The rhythm she set was—too fast, not entirely even; her legs were shaky still and it was hard to balance with her hands tied, but Megamind didn't seem to care, shuddering and crying out, hands on her face still.
He was—so beautiful. He was always beautiful, of course, but the way he looked when he was inside of her was—fucking divine, really, expression completely open, everything washed away but pleasure and something like awe.
"Oh—oh—oh god, Roxanne—" he said, going still for a moment, and then jerking his hips with a gasp, tentacles fluttering as he came.
Roxanne didn't stop moving; that was only once for him; she wanted to make him come again like this and she was afraid if she stopped she was going to collapse into an exhausted heap.
"Roxanne—" Megamind said helplessly.
She leaned forward and kissed his mouth, pulled away again to look into his sweet, beloved face.
He gasped for breath, neck arching, head tilting back before he looked at her again.
"Put your hand on my throat," Roxanne commanded.
Wide eyed, he did, placing his right hand on her throat and just—holding it there, not pushing or tightening his fingers, just holding.
Roxanne swallowed deliberately, letting him feel the motion of her throat, and he made a shocked noise in response.
"Megamind," she moaned, pressing her throat forward into his hand.
He cried out wordlessly and came again for her.
"—oh my god, Roxanne," he said, after he had caught his breath, and then added, "—ah, I—here—"
He reached up, undoing the knots on her wrists blindly. Roxanne winced a bit, lowering her arms, and a look of concern came over Megamind's face.
"Are—are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "I didn't—did I hurt—"
"Mph—no," Roxanne said, then let her head fall forward onto his shoulder, pressed her face to the crook of his neck. "—so tired," she mumbled into his skin, "—may never recover."
Megamind gave a quiet laugh, startled and relieved.
"Okay," he said, "okay, just—"
He wrapped his arms around her, one around her waist, the other cradling the back of her head, and flipped both of them over, lowering her onto the bed. He kissed her cheek and then sat up, taking one of her hands and starting to rub the marks that the ropes had left on her wrist. Roxanne watched him, eyes half-lidded. He kissed the back of her hand and then switched to rubbing her other wrist.
"Better?" he asked.
"Mmm," Roxanne made a vague, affirmative noise as Megamind moved to lie beside her, propped up on one elbow, fingertips trailing up and down her arm.
"Megamind," Roxanne said after a long moment of quiet, "I have something I need to—talk to you about—"
"—all right," he said.
She swallowed.
"I know," she said, forcing the words out, "that you—that we don't—feel the same. About each other. But I—I want to—I want you to know that you—" Roxanne took another breath, let it out shakily. "You are worth caring about, Megamind. I don't ever want you to think that you're not worth—you—you are worth—everything."
"—oh," Megamind said, she could not look at him, could not let herself look. "I—uh. Thank—thank you?"
Roxanne's heart twisted.
Thank you.
Well.
She hadn't really been expecting anything more.
"And," she went on, "I still want—"
(everything, anything you'll give me)
She turned towards him and kissed him.
"This," she said, "I still want this. If that's okay with you."
"Re—really?" Megamind asked, "you still—? Even though I—"
Roxanne kissed him again, cutting him off, not wanting to hear him say even though I don't love you back.
"Yes," she said, "that—it doesn't have to matter."
Megamind stared at her, frozen in place.
"Right?" she asked, uncertainly.
"I—right," he whispered, "of—of course it. It doesn't have to matter. It doesn't have to matter—at all, if it doesn't—if it doesn't matter to you."
"It doesn't," she said quickly. "I—just—just this is enough. All right?"
"Yes," he said quietly. "Yes, I—yes. Just—just this."
"I mean," Roxanne said nervously, "we're—we're friends, at least, right?"
"Friends," Megamind said in an uncertain voice. "Yes, I'd—I'd like that. We're—we're friends. We—enjoy each other's company."
"Exactly!" Roxanne said. "I—I like being able to—to be with you like this. It doesn't have to be any more than that."
"It—doesn't have to be more than that," Megamind repeated, "I—yes."
"Good," Roxanne said. "That's—that's good. I'm glad," she added, heart soaring and breaking at the same time.
(it would be enough; it would; it would have to be enough)
He leaned in to kiss her, then, and Roxanne kissed him back.
(Not too hard, now, not too desperate, don't let the ravenous hunger of your heart bleed through.)
She pulled away, letting herself fall back on the pillow, eyes closing for a moment—just a moment.
(She should get up now, shouldn't she. She should get up and leave, but she wanted—)
"Do—do you want to stay?" she heard Megamind ask.
She opened her eyes. He was watching her, looking uncertain.
"Because you—you can stay," he said. "If you want to. You—you said you were tired and—and I know—being lonely is—I know—so if you—you can—if you want to stay—"
(yes, god yes, she wanted to stay with him; she wanted to stay forever)
She turned towards him, tucking her head beneath his chin.
"Yes," she whispered. "I'll—I'd like to stay."
(she could stay for a while; she could let herself stay for just a little while)
Megamind woke up and Roxanne was gone.
He wrapped his arms around his chest, closed his eyes, and breathed.
(okay. that was okay. he was going to be okay)
He wasn't going to be able to sleep again; he could already tell, so he got up and went to work on the battlebot for the Final Kidnapping.
"Sir?" Minion's voice echoed through the empty Lair—sometime later; Megamind had lost track— "Did you—talk to Miss Ritchi?"
Megamind gripped the edge of the lab workbench briefly and did not turn around.
"Yes," he said, picking up a wrench, tightening a bolt. "Yes, we talked."
"Was I right?" Minion asked, voice rising with excitement. "I was right, wasn't I!"
"No, Minion," Megamind sighed, "unfortunately, I was right."
"—what?" Minion asked. "Sir—"
"She doesn't love me, Minion," Megamind said bluntly. "She said so. She was very—kind—about it."
(you're worth caring about—we're friends, at least—it doesn't have to matter)
"What? Are you—are you sure?"
"I'm sure, Minion—please," Megamind said, voice wobbling, "just—just drop it."
Minion was silent for a long minute.
"You're not going to—you're not going to keep—seeing her, then, right?" Minion asked, voice hard. "Are you? Because that is a very bad plan."
"All of my plans are bad plans," Megamind muttered.
"Oh, this is bad," Minion said, voice rising, "this is—so bad. You're in love with her and—"
"I know that!" Megamind threw the wrench across the room and whirled to face Minion. "She knows that! Everyone knows that! It's not something that matters!"
"You're going to let yourself get—completely fixated on her! you need to keep away from her, Sir! You need to get over her and—"
"Minion," Megamind said quietly, and Minion went silent, rant stopping abruptly.
(Minion knew that tone in Megamind's voice, the tone of I am going to say something important)
(Minion, I don't think anyone's ever going to like me)
(Minion, I think I might really be evil)
(Minion, I've been thinking about the bridge again, and I need you to make sure I don't do something stupid)
Megamind took a breath, let it out, fixed his eyes on an oil spot on the Lair floor.
"I've been in love with her for years, Minion," he said. "I was never going to get over her anyway."
"Oh, Sir," Minion said, voice going soft and sympathetic.
"Bowg."
Megamind looked over at the brainbot at his elbow, holding the wrench he'd thrown in sharp metal jaws.
"Thank you, 228," he said, smiling tremulously and reaching out to to run a hand over 228's braincase. "Do you want to play fetch with Daddy?"
…to be continued
notes: D: I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ANGST CONTINUES (please don't hate me)
(touché translates to 'touch'; that's the joke Roxanne was making–she can talk all she likes about Megamind's terrible puns; she is really not any better lol.)
thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it.