Oh boy. Feel free to hate me for holding this out so long. I was so stressed with school and then just gave up on writing all together for a while. Discouraging teachers have more influence than they may think.

Well, anyway, here it is! Things are finally starting to progress, and the climax is approaching! YAYYY. thanks again to all the faithful readers and reviewers. And for you quiet readers, get on that reviewing! please!

Ready...GO.

"Stop! Stop, please!"

"Dumb bitch, I don't know why I even keep you around."

I fell to the ground, my eyes squeezed tight in pain. Dumb bitch. That was my nickname, my brand, for as long as I could remember.

Why did he keep me around?

It made no sense to me, or any of his men, for that matter. In all the things I did to 'nag him to fucking death', he never once dropped me off at some orphanage, or just not tell me every time we changed locations. Telling the police, that was something he wouldn't have had to worry about. Who would believe a little girl, saying that her respected author of a father was the ringleader of the most dangerous gang to ever hit the city? Surely not Xehanort, the alias he kept as my father and as bestselling author.

Nobody would ever suspect that his 'majestically woven tales of sacrifice and family struggle' were just a bunch of lies to cover his real lifestyle.

FLASH FOUR DAYS LATER

"Dumb bitch, why aren't you at school?" Slam, bang, and he stormed into the room.

"I don't feel well." My head pounded and my throat flamed. I rolled over to face the wall, pulling the blankets higher up my neck.

"No, go to school. Weak dumb bitch. You'll never graduate if you keep skipping school, you'll grow up to be nothing."

"You mean I'll grow up like you?" It flew out of my mouth before I could stop it, and my hand actually flew to my mouth, my eyes wide.

"What did you say?" His voice was low, venomous as he came closer to the bed.

"Nothing."

"Dumb fucking BITCH!" His arm grasped mine and I was pulled from the bed and thrown on the floor.

"You think you can talk back to me?! You think you are better than me?" Kick. "I'm nothing, huh? How does nothing feel?" SLAM.

"Dumb fucking bitch! DUMB ASS—"

"NAMINE!" I stayed curled on the floor, cringing against the arms that shook me.

"No! NONONONONO!" I rocked back, gasping, trying to get away from those hands. They burned my flesh and made my eyes roll back in my head.

"Namine! Calm down!" Yank, tug, those arms. They just wouldn't let go, let go…

"LET GO! STOP! NO!" I pushed away frantically, batting those hands, my head slamming against the wall. His eyes, his face, it wouldn't leave. Fear clenched in my gut as his shouts filled my ears, his hands shoved my body, his eyes filled with rage, nothing, nothing, nothing could protect me, and I was going to die.

The fear closed in on me and my stomach wrenched as I fought those flaming hands. They just wouldn't let go, wouldn't stop pulling.

"Namine! Stop, calm down!" The grip was so tight, so strong I couldn't fight anymore, I could only thrash against those arms as they tried to hold me still. I felt sick, so sick, that searing taste of bile rising in my throat, threatening to spill from my lips as tears poured from my eyes.

It was over, it was all over. He was going to kill me.

Then everything stopped.

I felt my muscles fall limp, and I was sure in that moment that I was dead. But the arms were still around my body and I could still feel my own tears staining my cheeks. My breath came out in gasps as the shouts faded. His face blurred from my vision and was replaced with bright glowing aqua eyes.

"Namine." His voice wasn't crazed, wasn't screaming, and his eyes were not filled with rage. He wasn't beating me over the head with a chair and his breath didn't reek of vodka. His hair was silver, not orange and gray.

"Riku?" My mind buzzed as I looked around, seeing a clean bed and white walls, not a tattered mattress and garbage. Two people stood near the door, one with flaming red hair, the other with spiky blonde. They're faces looked scared, not angry and glazed.

And then I crumbled.

I pushed away from Riku, my hands trembling horribly as he let me go, and my legs quaked as I stood and staggered to my bed. It was silent as I crawled under the sheets, burying my face in the pillow.

"Namine?" came Roxas' quiet voice. I shook my head slightly, tears prickling my eyes. I lay still until I heard the others shuffle around and exchange hushed whispers. When the door clicked closed and there was silence, I started to cry.

It had happened again. Night terrors, ones that used to shake me as a child until I managed to pound myself against the wall enough to wake up. I would have bruises on my arms and legs for days, coupled with those given to me by him.

It was terrifying, to be so caught in a vision that you can't shake yourself away. You begin to convince yourself it's really happening in that moment. You relive the most horrifying moments again and again, the pain and the fear completely real. When I finally managed to pull myself awake, I had always been alone. Nobody had been there to hold me or to witness my pain. I would sit in the dark and wince at every sound until the sun came up and I could continue on with my day, as though nothing had happened.

That my new friends had witnessed something like this was humiliating. I was so good at hiding my problems when I was still in school. I could convince people that my bruises were from this accident or that, and the bags under my eyes were from staying up late for a project. Teachers suspected, but never investigated, and I was always able to distance myself from the people who got too close.

Now that I was with people who were so close all the time, it was frightening. They had seen me in my weakest moment; they had seen me when I was not in control of myself, when I couldn't hide my fear with a smile or a joke. What if they left? What if they thought I was crazy? The questions ran in circles around my head until I finally sat up and threw the blankets down in disgust.

"God DAMMIT!" I threw myself against my pillow and beat the hell out of it until I was heaving. Only when I had slumped back against the bed did I realize there was another person in the room.

"Riku" I stated in surprise, sitting up again. I felt my face burning as I desperately ran fingers through my hair. He, however, remained completely still, his legs crossed and his weight resting on his palms behind him. He stared at me evenly until I looked away.

"How long?" he asked, shifting a bit.

"Since I was seven…" I heard myself murmur, my eyes still down at the blankets scattered on the floor. "But I thought they had stopped."

It was embarrassing how my eyes filled with moisture as I said that. I was weak, I had to prove myself so much more now, now that everyone had seen me struggle. They could consider me too emotionally distraught and send me away. In that moment of silence, I mentally decided to be as strong as possible from now on, a force to be reckoned with. I wouldn't show any emotion, I would be tough. I was in control.

"Well, apparently they didn't," he said, letting out a little snort. But when I glanced up, slightly peeved, his eyes betrayed no snobbery.

"I'm fine," I stated shortly, rubbing my arm. Riku sighed and tilted his head to the side.

"Sure you are," he murmured, gesturing at my bedraggled hair and the blankets on the floor, his eyebrow raised.

"I'm fine," I said, a bit more fiercely, and stood up. I pulled on a sweatshirt and shoes before looking up to see him standing there.

"Yeah, sure you are," he seemed to mock, with his small smirk and raised eyebrows. I pushed past him, anger building again. How dare he mock me, I was strong. I was perfectly okay, that night terror wasn't anything to worry about.

I was fine.

"Hey Namine!" Cloud shouted over the pounding bass as he fought his way through the club crowd towards me. I smiled when he pulled up a stool and collapsed in it in front of the bar.

"Want anything?" I asked, pulling out a glass. He looked at me skeptically, taking in my tired eyes and still tangled hair. A long shower and fight with a hairbrush still had not taken out the knots.

"How are you?" he asked, leaning his head onto his palm. His ice blue eyes continued to watch me as I busied myself with wiping the bar.

"I'm doing alright. It was a bit of a scare last night, but I'm feeling better."

He raised an eyebrow. Oh how I was beginning to hate that look. He slouched over the counter then, glancing around at the other clubbers.

"Why do you think he just left?" he murmured, his gaze trained on me again.

"Didn't want to get caught," I said automatically.

"But… excuse my frankness, why didn't he just shoot the place up first and then book it?" His eyes looked guilty as he said this, but suspicious all the same. I paused my wiping, narrowing my eyes.

"I think…" I began, setting down the rag, "I think maybe he didn't like being outnumbered. There were four of them and much more of us. He always likes to have the upper hand."

It was disturbing to say this, to know so much about that cold-blooded killer. I couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through me.

"So do you think he will be gathering more men?" Cloud asked, looking a bit nervous. Nerves, they were something I hadn't ever seen with him, or Leon. This was a game of survival, of domination, without the friendly camera crew and a million dollar prize. This was our lives. Suddenly I felt sick, as I thought about the chance that we may lose, we may not all make it through.

"Hey, Namine." Cloud's urgent voice brought me back. His hand was loosely grasping my arm. "It's going to work out. We will make this work. We will stop them, I promise." He gave a small smile, and I began to smile back. It was temporarily relieving, even though I knew the fear still tugged at both of us.

"NAMI!" Axel shouted, a few hours later after Cloud had left. He slid onto a stool with Demyx, Roxas, and Riku in tow. None of them had said anything about that morning, well, Demyx wasn't even there, but Roxas and Axel were doing their best to pretend everything was normal.

"We clocked you out early, we're going to the café where Demyx plays," Roxas said, taking a sip of water from a bottle.

"Really? Did Tifa say it was okay?" I asked, my hopes rising.

"Course, man," Axel said, winking. And with that, he pulled me out from behind the counter and we left out the back door into the crisp night. The entire careful walk to the café was silent, with Roxas glancing around constantly and Riku standing close behind me at all times. When we finally stepped into the quaint, warm space of the café, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. Demyx grinned and inhaled, spreading his arms.

"Welcome to my abode," he said, dramatically spinning around. I giggled at his happy demeanor as he strode to the front of the small room. Obviously he was well known here, because he got a large applause from the few members of the shop. I spied Zexion sitting in a booth near the front, gesturing us over.

"Hey Zex," Axel said, ruffling his hair. Zexion glared and flicked his bangs back into place, and then smiled at me.

"Hi," he murmured, and I grinned back nervously. I had hardly talked to Zexion since moving in with the group, he tended to keep to himself.

"You used to work at the galleria downtown, right?" he asked, stirring his tea. I looked up, surprised.

"How did you know that?"

He cocked his head to the side.

"I was a frequent featured artist," he replied.

"Fancy schmancy," Axel muttered in a faux British accent, grinning all the same.

"I remember you!" I said suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Your artwork was fantastic!" I gushed as Zexion looked down modestly.

"Found a fan," Riku said form next to me, and I jumped. I hadn't even noticed him sit down. I was about to reply when Demyx's cheerful voice came through the microphone.

"Hey ladies and gents! I'm Demyx, as most of you know, and I'm here to amaze all with my fantastic guitar skill!" At this, he got a few whistles and cheers. Confident, he looked down at his worn instrument and started to play.

I was lost at once in the soothing melodies. One song flowed into the next as Demyx swayed to the beat, completely swept up in his playing. Riku shifted next to me, and when I glanced at him I saw him looking down at me. I looked away quickly, a blush staining my cheeks. Why I was turning red, I suspected it was because of the events of the previous morning.

When Demyx finished his playing and bowed to the applause, loudest probably by me, Riku nudged me.

"We should probably get going," he muttered. Instantly I was angry.

"Why? I'm just fine here."

"Because we have to go training early in the morning," he shot back, standing up. I frowned. I wanted to stay here, surrounded by friends and comfort.

"I'm not five. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, because that worked out so well this morning," he snapped. I was fuming by then, steam coming out of my ears. Axel and Roxas were glancing uncomfortably at each other, but Zexion spoke up.

"How about tomorrow after your training, you stop by Demyx and my apartment and I can show you some of my new work," he compromised, his eyes steady on mine. I scowled at Riku, but Zexion's even look made me stand up. I waved goodbye to everyone and stepped out into the night with Riku.

"What time do we have to get up tomorrow?" I asked shortly, not looking at him.

"Early." I sighed.

"Okay, well that narrows it down," I huffed. Riku just shrugged his shoulders.

Back at the apartment, I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when Riku appeared in the bathroom. He was wearing just sweatpants, his bare chest exposed for all the world to see.

Stupid chest.

I narrowed my eyes at his reflection in the mirror, brushing harder. He reached around me for his toothbrush, his arm knocking mine. Unable to resist, I spit, as close as possible to his arm.

"Hey, watch it!" he said, pulling his arm back.

"Yoof waff it" I retorted, shoving the toothbrush back in my mouth.

Swish swish swish.

Riku began scrubbing his teeth next to me, his eyes on mine through the mirror. I raised an eyebrow and spit again, running the water. He continued to brush, before leaning over unexpectedly and spitting into the sink. And he left that disgusting toothpaste floating around.

"Gross," I scowled, running the water again. He smirked around his toothbrush, his eyes gleaming.

I stomped out of the bathroom, and scooped the blankets off the floor. Flicking the light off, I slumped into bed. A moment later, the light flicked on again.

"Are you kidding me?" I snapped, sitting up. Riku looked over innocently, shuffling in his drawer.

"Oh sorry, did I bother you?" he asked, still looking oh so innocent. I rolled my eyes. He was in quite the mood tonight. He flicked off the light and I heard him shuffling around in the dark.

"Ow damn!" There was a thud and I snickered as Riku's shadow tumbled to the floor.

"Frikin bed," he muttered, climbing into bed. I smiled and rolled over, letting my eyes slip shut. However, sleep would not come. My stomach twisted as I remember the night before, and I shifted. And shifted again. And again until finally I heard Riku sigh and sit up.

"Drink too much caffeine tonight?" he asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Shut up," I snapped. "You know damn well why I can't sleep." There was silence.

"Oh, I thought you were fine?" he muttered. "That's what you claimed this morning."

I frowned. "Don't even."

He snorted. "What? Tell the truth? You know you aren't fine."

"You're a bastard," I seethed.

Pause.

"I know."

I sat up, looking through the dark at him. He was still sitting there, but I could see from his shadows that he was staring at the wall in front of him.

"Hey Riku, what did you want to do, you know, before all this?" I asked cautiously, playing with my hands.

He was silent for a long time, then finally, "I wanted to be an architect." I nodded, unsure of what to do next.

"I wanted to build beautiful houses that everyone could afford, because my best friend was living in the projects. He was always so happy, even though he didn't have heat and he slept in the kitchen in the winter. I wanted to make houses that people like him could afford."

He inhaled after he said this, as though he was surprised to have said it all. I sat there, taking it in, before daring to speak.

"What about now?"

"I want to kill him," he said bluntly. Then, he paused and backtracked. "He has killed so many people, destroyed so many families. Look at you, look at me. We are the way we are because of him. I hate him for it."

"Me too," I said quietly. "Sometimes, I wonder why he didn't just kill me when I was little."

I felt Riku looking at me then, studying me. I glanced down at the floor, the wall, anywhere but at him. Then he stood up, and came over to me.

"I want to show you something."

So much for training in the morning. Riku had pulled me out of the house and into the night, past Axel and Roxas returning from the café, past the glowing lights and honking cars of the city, out to the railroad tracks and the station. We hiked up a hill that overlooked the city in silence, and when he finally stopped, I nearly bumped into him.

"Sit," he said, lying down in the cool grass. I planted myself next to him, and glanced around. His face was turned up to the sky, and he gestured for me to lie down next to him. When I first glanced up at the stars, I exhaled in awe.

The sky was illuminated with millions and millions of stars, each winking with its own sparkle. I looked at Riku to see him staring at me.

"It's amazing!" I gushed, and he smiled before turning his face back up to the sky.

"After my brother died, I came here all the time. It made everything seem less horrible, to look up at the vast sky, just going on forever. My problems always shrank in comparison to the stars up here."

I grinned. "That's awfully poetic." He frowned and shoved my arm gently.

"You're a brat."

"Bastard."

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