Beth, What Can I Do? Beth never really cared that Quinn and Puck didn't keep her… not until now.

Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.

*This chapter does not have Quinn in it, but after this every single one will! She is mentioned in this chapter, but does not actually appear in it.*

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Confused

All my life I'd been passive. If I ever wanted something, I didn't go for it. If I had friends that were in an argument, I didn't take sides. Since this was my senior year in high school, I decided to take some chances. I joined Glee Club, asked Maddie to hang out with me again, invited my parents to Ohio, made out with a hot older guy, and made a man angry at me. I was a romantic, and in my opinion there was nothing romantic about the relationship that Blaine Anderson and Sebastian Smythe shared. Blaine belonged with Kurt. If I couldn't have a happily ever after of my own, then I could at least give them theirs. I should have listened to Shelby when she said that even though following your heart was exciting it could also get you into all sorts of trouble.

I shouldn't have been intimidated by Sebastian. He seemed like the kind of guy who was all talk and no action. But who knows? Oliver was always hiding when he came to pick him up after I baby sat him. There was a possibility that he might have hit him once or twice. I highly doubted that Sebastian would hit me or do anything to hurt me physically, but he would probably think of some sneaky ways to mess up my life. I wanted so badly to tell Shelby, but she would be upset with me for going behind her back, reuniting the old New Directions, and interfering with their lives. I was too ashamed to tell Noah or even Quinn, but if this escalated, I would have to. I would rather go to Noah or Quinn about this than Shelby.

Maddie told me that the boys were saying I was ugly again. She didn't possess enough common sense to spare me that detail, and I felt very repulsive. I still hoped that maybe John might change his mind about liking Mary and start liking me, but all he would ever see me as is a friend. I wasn't about to try wrecking another relationship. Why was I worried about John anyway? I had Steven, the super hot, college football boyfriend. Steven asked me to go out on a date with him at Breadstix.

"So, are you gonna go to The Ohio State University too?" he asked me at dinner.

"Actually, Shelby was telling me about NYADA," I explained. "It's the New York Academy Of Dramatic Arts. Her daughter Rachel wanted to go there."

Steven smiled. "And if you don't get accepted…?"

"Then I'll look into The Ohio State University." I nodded. "How do you like college anyway?"

"It's great," he said, "especially being on football. But all the girls get mad when I tell them I have a girlfriend in high school. I don't see you very often, but yeah, college is fun."

I wasn't sure if by using that passive-aggressive tone, he was suggesting that he wanted to take the next step in our relationship. I wouldn't mind. He was really hot and I was feeling really stressed out about school and the whole Sebastian situation. "You wanna do it, Steven?" I asked nervously.

"Uh, tonight?" He looked surprised. I nodded eagerly. "Now?" I nodded again. "Well Beth, I'm flattered, but can't we have dinner first? I mean, in the time that I've known you all we've done is grind and make out. You've never had a real conversation with me, and you hardly ask to see me. I would like to get to know you before we take that step."

I felt rejected again. "I thought that was what you wanted. That's all guys want, isn't it? You seemed pretty forward about wanting to do it at that Halloween party."

Steven groaned. "Beth, you've never had a boyfriend, have you?"

Embarrassed, I slowly shook my head. "No, I've never had one."

"Sure. Guys like sex, but that's not all they want. Like girls, guys care about other things like dating, seeing a movie, cuddling, kissing, stuff like that. The girls in college are jealous of you because I talk about you all the time and I care so much about you that I don't want to mess around with them. I was a total jerk at that Halloween party; I'd had one too many drinks. I think you're under the wrong impression about guys and relationships. I'm a jock, but I'm not an idiot. I really want to love you, Beth, but you're not letting me. And I think that's because you're not ready for a relationship."

"I guess I'm not," I admitted quietly. "I also think that if you got to know me, you would leave."

"You think I'll reject you?" he asked, and I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling. "How long have you been afraid of rejection?"

"Since… my parents put me up for adoption after I was born," I mumbled.

"Sounds to me like you're confused, Beth," Steven decided. "You're confused about a lot of things: the main thing being your identity. Not all adopted kids have it, but I hear that a lot of kids that are adopted go through an identity crisis. You must have trouble deciding who your real parents are. I think I should break up with you, Beth. You need to find yourself before you try to find love."

"Steven, please don't…" I pleaded when he stood up and kissed me on top of my head.

"If you find out who you are, I might get back with you," he said, leaving the restaurant.

I felt so rejected, having been broken up with by a great guy before I even got to know him. I left the restaurant thinking about how I destroyed everything I touched.

When I got home, I saw Noah sitting in front of the television. "Hey," he said. "Artie gave Shelby a call and told her that even though you guys won Sectionals, the school board made him relieve her and Mr. Schue of their Glee coach duties. According to the school board they're not too old to teach, but they're too old to coach Glee Club. They've hired someone younger. You'll find out who that is when Christmas break is over. Rachel and Jesse invited Shelby to dinner to try to cheer her up. I was supposed to be here tomorrow for New Years, but I decided to show up a little early and spend some time with you while she was gone."

"Noah, are you and Quinn my real parents?" I asked.

"What do you mean by 'real'?" he was curious.

"Should I consider you and Quinn my real parents?" I asked again.

He gave a small smile. "No. Shelby's your only real parent because she's always been there."

I started crying, and he hugged me. "My boyfriend just broke up with me," I told him. "He wants a girlfriend who knows who she is. And Sebastian wants to make my life a living hell because I tried to get Blaine back with Kurt. There's a lot of people I'd like to get together like Finn and Rachel, Santana and Brittany, you and Quinn… I invited the old New Directions to come to Ohio just so you and Quinn could get back together and the three of us could be a family. I can't believe I did this to Shelby. I just want to see her and apologize…"

Noah kissed the top of my head and began singing a beautiful song that eventually got me to stop crying: "So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long. Sometimes I don't know what I will find. I only know it's a matter of time. When you love someone… when you love someone. It feels so right, so warm and true; I need to know if you feel it too. Maybe I'm wrong. Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong? This heart of mine has been hurt before. This time I wanna be sure. I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I've been waiting for a girl like you, and a love that will survive. I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive. Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I've been waiting for a girl like you, and a love that will survive. I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive. Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life."

When he was done singing and I was done crying, he rubbed my back comfortingly and said "I sang that song to you and Shelby when you were a toddler. You were crying, and when I sang that song, you stopped. It was like magic, like a lullaby. I guess you really like the song."

"It's beautiful," I sniffed, wiping my nose.

"You might not know it, but I actually share a lot of things with you," Noah explained. "Like that song, the clown-pig, that stuffed elephant… that's more than I can say for Quinn. Shelby's your real mom. Keep that in mind, but I still think you should try to make some special memories with Quinn, unless it confuses you."

"No, I'm not confused anymore," I decided, and I grabbed a blank spiral notebook and began writing about my life in it. I wanted Quinn to know who I was. Even though we'd spent Christmas together, she didn't know enough about me.

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Author's Note: In the next chapter you'll find out who the new Glee coach is! There'll also be a lot of Quinn! The next few chapters will be more exciting than these last two were, I promise. Only a few more days before school starts again, ew. I hate school. And I sadly have to wait a few more weeks before Glee is on again. I apologize that this is a short chapter. I will hopefully be updating this fic a lot more often if school and after school clubs don't take all my time away. Happy Early New Years!