Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Bella POV

I finally got Edward to relax after he had heard Mike's thoughts about me. I shuddered once again, I feel grossed out by just thinking about it. Poor Edward, he had to have heard it.

Emmett's booming laughter echoed through the kitchen as he made a failed attempt at trying to quiet it. The fact that he had such a devious look on his face, made me slightly worried at what was going on.

"Emmett? What did you do?"

Emmett immediately stopped laughing, an innocent look appearing on his face as he grinned at me. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I raised an eye brow at him.

Emmett's face faltered for a second before grinning manically, "Come look!"

I frowned, what had happened? As I peered into the dining room, I saw Mike and Renesmee. Nessie had a wide innocent little girl look on her face, but I knew better. It was the same one Emmett had learnt from her.

They had done something. But what was it?

I carried on watching when I noticed something interesting. Mike's face was pale, and a light sheen had broken out on his face. He had his hand cover his mouth rather roughly and he was attempting to take deep breaths.

What was wrong with him?

Mike gasped aloud, gagging loudly before clenching his mouth shut. He looked like he was about to vomit. Was he sick?

Beside me, Emmett was sniggering, and immediately I knew there was something more to this than what I saw.

I took a deep breath, readying myself to hear the story, "Emmet, "I'll ask again, what did you do?"

Unperturbed by my mood, Emmett smiling happily replied, "Oh, we just gave Mike some Oreos and milk."

The 'we' didn't go unnoticed by me.

"Okay then, why is Mike look like he is about to throw up in the middle of our dining room floor?" I asked questioningly.

Emmett scoffed, "It's not my fault if he couldn't stomach the way we made it."

I tried to keep my calm, "And how did you make it?"

Emmett grinned, "I can't you that!"

"And why not?"

Emmett blinked, "Cuz it's a secret recipe, of course."

"A secret recipe?" I ground out slowly.

Emmett nodded. He looked around quickly to see if anyone was watching, his head whipping around the kitchen. When he saw no one in the vicinity, he cupped a palm around my ear as if to whisper something.

"IT'S CALLED EMMETT CULLEN'S SUPER CONCOCTION!" Emmett's voice boomed throughout the house, and as I had been expecting him to whisper, I flew back bashing into the wall behind me. I vaguely heard the cracking of wall behind me. Oops, I'd have to fix that before Esme got home, she wouldn't like it if I destroyed half her kitchen because of Emmett's childishness.

I felt my anger rise and I raised my fist in the air, ready to punch Emmett as I whisper yelled, "What the hell was that? Do you want the whole of Forks to hear you?"

Emmett had the decency to at least look a little taken a back. Even though my newborn super strength had worn off, I still had my temper. And for one, Emmett knew that. And not to mess with me when I get to a certain point.

I took a deep unnecessary breath, trying to calm myself. I counted to ten before I spoke again, "What was in that recipe?"

Emmett grinned, "Oh, I just tweaked the recipe a bit. Instead of the creamy inside, I used toothpaste. And you know, might have added a little bit of food colouring to the milk…and other stuff."

I bit my lip, still trying to keep my calm, "Emmett, what if you poisoned him?"

Emmett looked confused, "Huh?"

"Emmett, you can't just give humans toothpaste to eat!"

Emmett tilted his head and pouted, "Why not, it's funnnnn?"

"EMMETT!"

Emmett rolled his eyes turning away, "Geez Bell, chill out. We're just having fun."

My eyes bugged out. "Emmett, it's dangerous, what if something happens to Mike?!"

And the 'we' didn't go unnoticed by me…again.

Emmett sighed dramatically before grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, "Bella, nothing is going to happen to Mike. Like I said, we're just having some fun before we send the pesky humans running for the hills."

I ignored him. First things first.

"Renesmee, could you come here," I asked in a quiet voice.

I knew she had heard me from the dining room despite the low volume. Hearing the tone of my voice, she dragged her feet in an effort to take as long as possible to meet me.

She entered the kitchen with an innocent look on her face, and ran to hug me. I couldn't help but pull her into my arms and ruffle her copper ringlets.

The look on her face made me re-consider my thoughts. It's not like she had done anything bad, right? She was just having fun. She knew when to draw the limit, right?

No! I shook my heads, trying to clear my thoughts. I had to do this. I had to be strict. It was for her own good. And I needed her to understand that her Uncle Emmett wasn't the best role model for to be aspiring to.

"Renesmee, what you did. You know it was wrong, right?" I asked her in a strict tone.

Renesmee's chocolate brown eyes watered as she nodded fervently. "I know, Momma."

I nodded, it was good she understood. "And you know you can't do it again."

Nessie nodded, "I know…but Uncle Em made me do it." She pointed to Emmett over my shoulder who was quietly standing with his arms crossed.

Upon hearing Nessie's confession, he immediately spluttered, "No, no!"

I shifted my attention to Emmett. I glared at him, as he chuckled nervously.

My glare intensified.

"Bells, relax, okay," Emmett pacified, "It's not what it looks like."

I took a step closer, stalking him. "Emmett."

I took a deep breath, my voice even, "Have you been corrupting my daughter?"

Emmett shook his head quickly, "No!"

I continued to stalk him. Emmett walked back away from me slowly. He would hit the wall if he continued.

"Bella, look, you have to believe me."

I closed my eyes, not listening. Only when Emmett responded did they snap open.

"It was actually Nessie's idea," Emmett admitted.

That was it.

I attacked him.

A startled voice drew my attention to the door. There stood Mike with an astonished look on his face.

"What the hell was that?"

Jessica POV

"So Alice, where's Edward?"

Alice smiled sweetly, "Oh, he's around here somewhere?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Somewhere?"

Alice nodded, "You know how big this house is. He could be anywhere."

Geez, how do you lose someone in a house? No matter how big it is? How lazy were these people. I half expected a butler to jump out of no-where and offer us some drinks and snacks.

Hmm, that might actually be nice though. I filed it away for a later though, wonder if I could get Edward to hire a butler. A maid just wasn't the same. And if we're going to be living in a big house (And we were going to be!) I sure as hell wasn't going to be doing all of the work.

I put on a smile, "Well then, could you go get him."

Alice got up from here seat.

Good.

Alice smirked, "Who should I say is calling for him."

My forehead crinkled. What the hell? Who's calling for him?

I thought for a minute before answering. "Say it's Jessica."

Alice didn't move.

"Jessica. Jessica Stanley. His future wife," I prompted when she didn't move.

Alice rolled her eyes before sitting back down, "Nahhh, I won't get him."

"Why not," I said sharply.

Damn this woman, what's with her? First she offers to do something then she changes her mind? Who does that?

Alice blinked at me, "Because he won't know who that it."

My anger rose. The nerve of that weirdo! I took a deep breath, counting to ten in my head. First get Edward, then deal with his crazy siblings later.

I stood up, brushing the non-existent dust of my skirt, "I think I'll go look for himself."

Alice nodded, "Yeah, you do that."

I marched out of the room but Alice voice called out to me.

"Don't you want to know where his room is?"

I froze, shocked. Was she really going to tell me, or was this a trick. I eyed her warily. She had an innocent look on her face, she looked like she genuinely would tell me.

"Okay, where is it?"

Alice smiled, "I'll give you directions. It's really easy!"

"Okay…"

Alice smirked before continuing, "Okay, straight from her, take a left, then a right. You'll see the dining room. Then take a left, continue straight until you see the bathroom. Then you take a right, another right, and continue straight till you see the grand staircase. The go up, take a left then right, continue straight and then it's the third room after your second left."

What the fuck?

Alice smiled sweetly, "Did you get all of that?"

I didn't respond.

"Do you want me to repeat that," Alice prompted.

I gritted my teeth in an attempt to keep my voice even, "That's alright."

Alice tilted her head, "Are you sure? I can draw you a map."

I didn't reply. I turned away, trying to remember at least the beginning of the weirdo's directions. What was it again? Straight, left and right? You know what maybe I shouldn't try to follow them, Alice might have been trying to lead me to a lion's den. And with her, you never know.

Time to execute my master plan. I needed to go to the kitchen to find some honey or cream. I wasn't particularly picky, either one could work. Oh, wait strawberries might be even better. I wonder if the Cullen's had any? I could so rock strawberries and cream. Edward wasn't going to be able to resist me. He'll fall so hard for me.

So first, the kitchen. Second, Edward's room.