A/N: Judging from the reviews and feedback so far, it's time for Bailey to make a change in her life at Seven Seas High. And in this chapter she does...
Chapter 10: "Holy Toledo!"
I spend most of the weekend by myself and in tears, feeling like a monumental screw-up. Even the Three Stooges Film Festival doesn't cheer me up. My thoughts loop through an endless cycle of worries and regrets. When I broke up with Moose, I left for Seven Seas High the very next day and haven't had to see him since. Zack and I live together. There's no way I can avoid him for good. How horrible is the rest of the semester going to be?
Overshadowing the nightmare of our roommate situation is the realization that getting involved with Zack was a huge mistake. Even under normal circumstances we never would have lasted. We're too different, plus he's clearly a player, just like Cody said.
No, the real mistake was applying here as a boy. If I'd been a girl all along, I wouldn't have ended up sharing a cabin with Zack, or accidentally falling for his hotness and charisma—and I could have had a chance with Cody. But now Cody will always be off limits. Not just because I've dated his twin brother, but because I have to keep up the pretense that I'm a boy. My future at Seven Seas High depends on it. The only other option is to go back to Kettlecorn.
And at this point, maybe that's not such a bad idea.
[***]
This is what I'm thinking as I walk out of the Fiesta Deck theatre on Sunday night after the final Stooges film.
Someone bumps into me. I look up to see to a burly man wearing a 10-gallon cowboy hat, Hawaiian shirt, and golf shorts, with a buxom blonde on his arm. "Sorry there, little fella," he apologizes in a thick Texan drawl. "Me and the missus are off to win big!" He tips his hat at me and the two of them head into the casino.
I linger by the casino entrance, watching the Texan couple and other gamblers pump coins into a bank of slot machines. I don't want to go back to Cabin 8-102, even though Zack is probably still working or off somewhere with Cody or Woody.
A colourful poster catches my eye. The poster shows an image of the S.S. Tipton festooned with tinsel. Emblazoned across the top is a bold red headline: Holiday Singles Cruise: December 22–January 2. And below this, in smaller type: Fill out your dating questionnaire at tiptoncruises . com/singles
"Holy Toledo!" The Texan leaps to his feet and does a crazy jig as his slot machine buzzes and flashes madly. "Ah've won the jackpot!"
Suddenly an idea sprouts in my mind, like a corn seed in spring. As it grows into a full-blown plan, I feel like I too have won the jackpot.
[***]
I show up at the towel station in time for Cody's 6:00 break on Monday evening. I saw Zack and Woody at the dinner buffet on my way here, so I know the coast is clear.
"Hey, Cody, check this out," I say, holding up my laptop. "There's gonna be a Holiday Singles Cruise starting tomorrow. Anyone on board can fill out the dating questionnaire." My laptop is open to the questionnaire webpage. "Why don't you fill it out? You could meet a nice girl, and then being stuck here over the holidays won't be so crappy."
Cody frowns at me. "Who would want to go out with the ship's towel boy?" he asks gloomily.
"Dude, at least you have a job," I say encouragingly. "Girls don't go for guys who are unemployed."
"I don't know, some of these questions look silly." He scans the screen. "Are you going to fill it out, too?"
"No can do," I say quickly. "Unlike you, I actually am unemployed and I'm... I'm kind of seeing Jamie-Beth Collins back in Kettlecorn now. We decided to try the long-distance relationship thing."
"That's great, Bailey," Cody smiles so sincerely that I almost cringe. "I hope it works out for you guys." He seems to perk up then. "OK, I'll fill out the questionnaire. Who knows, maybe I'll meet Ms. Right."
Score! I hand him my laptop, cheering silently, and he starts to tap at the keyboard.
I lean against the counter, trying not to hover conspicuously. As soon as he stops typing, I blurt out, "I think that guy over there wants a towel. He's waving at you." I point to a random man by the hot tub.
"Can't he see I'm on a break?" Cody grumbles, but he still grabs a towel from the stack on the counter and trots away to surprise the stranger. Within seconds I've made a screen capture and emailed it to myself.
[***]
Back in Cabin 8-102, I log into my Gmail account, open up the file with Cody's answers, and navigate to the questionnaire webpage.
As my fingers approach the keyboard, the deviousness of my plan shocks me all over again. Can I really go through with this—copying Cody's questionnaire answers and submitting them under a fake girl's name so we'll be matched up for the Holiday Singles Cruise?
Apparently I can, since I've already typed "Holly Toledo" into the name field of the questionnaire.
I forge onto the next question, my thoughts whirling. This is my one and only chance to go out with Cody. Besides, Cody has been so miserable lately and isn't it my fault Zack neglected him all semester—and at least partly my fault his cash card got maxed out, forcing him to get this crappy towel job? As a good friend, I owe it to Cody to make sure he has a fun Christmas.
By the time I finish rationalizing, I've also finished the questionnaire. Cody's answers are actually very similar to what mine would have been if I'd filled out the questionnaire as the real Bailey Pickett. We both like irises, pine, a good quiche, smart people, and protecting the environment.
See, Cody and I are perfect for each other, I tell myself as I hit "Submit" and Holly Toledo's dating questionnaire zips into cyberspace.
[***]
We only have a half-day of school on Tuesday, our last day of classes for the year. The morning flies by, and in the afternoon the S.S. Tipton docks in Miami to pick up passengers for the singles cruise and drop off students who are going home for the holidays. Zack, Cody, London, and I are the only Seven Seas High students who'll be staying on the ship until school starts again on January 4th. Woody is meeting up with his family in Nassau tomorrow and will be back on New Year's Eve. Mr. Tipton is flying in from the Tipton Space Station for Christmas Day.
"My daddy is getting me a 24-karat moon rock for Christmas," London tells everyone who will listen. "Yay, me!"
After saying our good-byes to the departing students, Zack and Cody go to work, London and Woody go shopping on the Plaza Deck for Christmas and Hanukkah presents, because London celebrates both holidays, and I go back to Cabin 8-102 to get ready for tonight. According to the singles cruise schedule, everyone who answered the dating questionnaire will be paired up at a cocktail party on the Gala Deck at 7:00.
My pulse races as I pull out the red dress I wore when I arrived on deck. I'm finally going to be a girl again! And I'm going to have a date with Cody.
A/N: I thought it would be interesting to flip the plot of the "seaHarmony" episode and have Bailey copy Cody's dating questionnaire answers instead of vice versa. Will the scheme work in this alternative universe? Stay tuned to find out... I will try to post chapters more often. So much thanks for reading and reviewing—you guys are awesome. Xoxoxo – Ellie