A/N: I AM SO SORRY! I've been busy like no other lately. I have done no homework in the past couple weeks because of this story so I was attempting to get back on track, which I still haven't. -_-' So I'm going to pop out an excellent chapter and I really hope you guys like it cause I've been thinking about this non-stop all week. I really am sorry!

-Noodle

-Chapter 11-

2D

"They have no fucking toys in this Satanic store!" It was the day before Alphie's first birthday and Murdoc and I had procrastinated until the very last minute to get Alphie's gifts, as expected. At that moment we were wandering around the magical store called Walmart. Personally, I loved it there because there were people who looked stranger than I did. I was holding Murdoc's hand in mine and I felt him tense up in rage. I looked at him, worrying and hoping that he wouldn't blow up in the small store.

"Well if it was Satanic, wouldn't it mean that yew like it Murdoc?" I smirked at him and lifted an eyebrow. He stared at me with an annoyed look on his gorgeous, green face. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Smartass..." I chuckled to myself and smiled wide. He turned away, clearly annoyed with my smartassyness. I'm even making up my own smartass words now. Check me out being all badass.

"We've barely even looked Mudsy. I'm sure we'll find somefink." I sqeezed his hand and smiled down at him. The rage disappeared from his face and he blushed as he returned an endearing smile. We continued down the aisles hand in hand, smiled and walking merrily.

After a while however, I began feeling extremely self conscious. I could feel everyone around us staring bullet holes into us. I started getting chills and my mind began racing. I stared at the ground, my mind going haywire, feeling like it was about to explode. I knew that I shouldn't care what other people thought, but I just couldn't get the feeling out of my system. I hated their disapproving glances and I hated their murmurs and whispers. I hated how they always opened their big fucking mouths and couldn't mind their own fucking business. I dropped Murdoc's hand.

He just turned away from the shelf and stared at me in disbelief. I felt so damn bad but I just couldn't take it. I kept facing the floor, trembling, tearing up. Why did I have to be so fucking emotional! Even over something as silly as this! A teardrop hit the floor and Murdoc stepped closer, lifting my face up to meet his gaze. He wiped away another runaway tear.

"Hey, babe, they don't matter. No, look at me. The only thing that matters is how we feel about each other, alright? And that's all that will ever matter." More tears cascaded down my face. His took my hands in his and pulled me to him, pressing his warm, soft lips against mine. I felt him let go of one of my hands and opened one of my eyes to see what he was doing. I smirked into his lips as a realized that he was flipping everyone off. Not one single fuck was given that day.

We finally pulled away from each other and we smiled brightly, forgetting everything around us. We had finally found sufficient gifts and were on our way back to the check out line. We hadn't even made it halfway to our destination before things started going downhill. Wait, that's an understatement. More like it fell off of a God damn cliff into a whirlpool with pointy ass rocks sticking out of the center.

"Fucking faggot." I stopped dead in my tracks after hearing the snotty remark. Before I could even think about responding to the acne-faced, snot-nosed punk, Murdoc spun around and grabbed him by the back of his shirt, yanking him around-almost superhumanly fast-and shoving him against the closest wall, snarling. The kid's head snapped back, his eyes wide. I admit, I was scared. Yet...slightly turned on. Murdoc looked pure evil and very, very menacing. And sexy. Anyway. He proceeded to snarl in the kids' face, whom I feared was about to wet his pants.

"What was that, you fucking little skank?" he spat, tightening his grip. "Care to repeat?"

The kid was brave; I'll give him that. "You're a fucking faggot! Men shouldn't date men-"

Murdoc slammed him against the wall again, the muscles in his arms flexing. "What the fuck makes you think you know my fucking gender, or my fucking sexual preference you little shitdick? Maybe you should fucking think before you speak and you wouldn't fucking be pressed against a motherfucking Walmart CONCRETE WALL about to piss your big boy panties; now I suggest you fuck off and leave me and my boyfriend the fucking hell alone while I'm feeling merciful, UNDERSTAND YOU LITTLE WHORE?!" The kid nodded, and, Murdoc, showing a great deal of restraint, released him, breathing hard. He looked at me sternly. "See you in the car, D," he said, stomping out of the stoor and ignoring security. They looked too scared to arrest him, and I counted my lucky stars.

I payed and headed out to the Stylo with Alphie's gifts in hand, hoping that my Mudsy was alright. I tossed the bags in the trunk and opened up the passenger side door, getting in. Murdoc had both hands on the steering wheel, clutching it, while laying his head down on the center of it. I caressed his head and leaned down, kissing him on the cheek. His looked up and smiled at me, so I kissed him again, but with more passion. He kissed back fiercly, like he was desperate for me. Like that was all he wanted and he didn't care about anything else. He tried to go farther but I pushed him off of me. He raised his eyebrows, worried.

"I'm sorry, Mudsy. I would love to get fiesty with yew right now, especially after that whole scene in there. That was sexy as hell, so don't think that I don't want yew, but I really don't feel comfortable screwing yew in this tiny car with little children walking past." He nodded in understanding before starting the car and pulling out onto the road. He laid his right hand on the console and I caught his drift and grasped it firmly. He smiled, not taking his eyes off of the long and winding road back to Kong Studios.

"Murdoc? What did yew mean when yew said that thing about yew're gender?"

He sighed, shoulders sagging. "Ok, um. Where the hell do I start? You're under the impression that if you have a penis you're male, and a vagina you're a female, right?" I nodded. "Well, that's not exactly the case. That's only your sex, what you are physically-and there's more than just male and female-but anyway. I'm male biologically, but gender-wise, I'm agendered. That means I don't identify by male or female, or any other gender. I just don't have one. I use male pronouns though. Also about the sexuality thing, I'm not gay, I'm not bi, I'm not straight. I'm something called pansexual. Which means you can be male, female, transgendered, male and female, I don't really care. I don't judge on what's in your pants, but by what your personality is. That's why that little fuck in there pissed me off so bad. He made a pinheaded assumption about my gender and sexuality, and that REALLY pisses me off because like you're sensitive to what people think of me and you, I'm sensitive about them thinking I'm male and gay. So I lost my temper."

"So what does that make me then? Am I like yew or gay or bi? I'm confused Mudsy." My forehead crinkled in utter confusement.

"Depends on what you're attracted to. Male, female, other, or all?" I pondered his question momentarily. My mouth gaped open and I found myself saying, "Uhhhhhhhhhhh..." He sighed once again before responding.

"Do you like dicks, vaginas, a mixture of a dick and a vagina, dicks and vaginas, or all of the above?" My response remained the same but after my idiotic sound, I found myself to have a rebuttal.

"WHAT THE FUCK MURDOC!?"

"Jesus Christ, Dents, I'm tryin' to help you come to terms with your sexuality with words that won't confuse you, so help me out here, would'ja?" I looked at him in curiousity before replying.

"Well Mudsy, I'm deeply attracted to yew, and yew have a dick, but I was also attracted to Noodle. And of course she had a vagina. So I suppose that I like both, although I enjoy yewrs more now and I honestly prefer it over women now. Does that help?" That was most likely one of the smartest things I've ever said in my entire lifetime and he seemed to notice because his eyes widened in surprise.

"So, you're not even remotely attracted to women anymore?" I crinkled up my face and bit my lip in frustration. I hated thinking so hard. I glanced over and Murdoc was looking at me with lust filling his eyes, clearly being turned on by my "sexy" face. I looked at him and answered the best that I could.

"I still find women attractive, yes. However, yew are my boyfriend and I care deeply for yew, and I don't want anyone else in my life right now besides yew. I haven't felt this strongly about someone since Noodle, if that answers yewr question."

He nodded, understanding. "You're bisexual then, you tool. You're promoting the gender binary." Upon seeing my look of confusion, he chuckled, shaking his head. "Don't worry 'bout it, darlin'." I smiled an idiotic smile and it remained plastered onto my face the entire rest of the way home.

When we got into the garage, Murdoc practically dragged me out of the car and to his bedroom. We decided to leave the gifts in the car for the time being. When we got to Murdoc's room, we stripped down to our boxers and curled up into each other's arms, our legs intertwining with each other. I breathed in his scent: booze, cigarettes, sweat... the very recipe for sexy. That's how we fell asleep.

(*)(*)(*)

A couple hours later I awakened with a horny fire that could not be doused out. If only I had my "Hello Kinky" T-shirt with me. I decided that I was going to seek my revenge upon Murdoc for our last little sexual scene. I rummaged around his room until I found what I had been looking for. Handcuffs. Thank God Murdoc was a heavy sleeper because if he wasn't, I wouldn't be able to pull this off. Time to get kinky.

I rolled Murdoc onto his stomach and proceeded to handcuff his hands to the bedrailing. I then shucked off my boxers and his before climbing under him, his body on top of mine, and singing "White Light" into his ear seductively, waking him up. He lifted himself off of me some groggily, wondering what the hell was going on. I smirked lustfully and dug my nails into his back, growling.

"Stu...?" he murmured, still half asleep and unresponsive. "Wha...? Wot'a yew doin', mate...M'tired..." I pulled him closer to me, biting his lip and growling once again before pulling away, smirking maniacally.

"I'm horny as fuck and all I want right now is yew and yewr body." I began sucking on his neck roughly, pulling him closer, making the claw marks in his back deeper. He finally woke up-FINALLY-moaning, kissing me, hungrily, moving to put his hands on me-

"The fuck, Dents?" I chuckled as his pulled futilely at his restraints, cursing under his breath. I moved my hands down to his ass and dug into him, making him let out a surprised moan.

"Tonight. Yew are my bitch." I smiled devillishly and shoved my tongue into his mouth, exploring every nook and cranny, wanting him with every fiber of my being. I could almost feel his body light up above me, a fire matching my own in its intensity. He struggled against the cold metal, a slight look of discomfort on his face-it was gone so fast I told myself I'd imagined it-and kissed me, hard, growling and pressing his hips into mine. I felt hot blood splash my forehead; he'd torn skin trying to get out of the handcuffs, and I slipped out from under him, climbing on top and massaging his shoulders, slowly, gently. He relaxed slowly.

"Dammit Stu, this isn't fucking fair," he growled/panted. Sweat was beading on his bare body. I ran my tongue along his neck whilst on top of him, licking the sweat off of his bare body. I was on top of him doggy- style, but wasn't inside of him. Not yet at least. I ran my hands down to his thighs and started massaging him, feeling ecstacy fill up the room. He attempted pulling at his restraints again, only to fail miserably. I could tell that he desperately wanted me, wanted more, but I had to keep him in suspense for the time being. I wasn't done playing my little game yet.

He growled at me-legitimately growled, sending shivers of desire through my already rampaging body-pulling harder on the cuffs, making more drops of blood spatter onto the pillow. "Stuart," he ground out, "please. This is fucking torture." His hands fisted into the pillows for a moment before he closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. "Please," he murmured. My blazing body burned brighter, my desire for him so strong I still don't know how I didn't give him what he wanted right away. Instead I reached into a nearby drawer, grabbing what I had also found on my expedition earlier. I pulled out a long whip and waltzed over to Murdoc so he could see me in all of my glory.

Attempting to be the sexy, horny devil that I was, I cracked the whip. Much to my dismay, I utterly failed and ended up hitting myself in the face, leaving a giant red mark across it.

"Fuck! No more whip!" I heard Murdoc chuckle while still pulling at the handcuffs. I figured it was time to wrap up my game and let Mudsy out of his binds soon. If I didn't, he might just rip his hands off trying to get to me. I went back to the drawer and pulled out my last item of pleasure. I walked back into his line of vision and slowly lathered myself with lube, making his eyes widen, in anticipation or fear, I didn't really know (or care). I was horny, dammit. He started pulling at the handcuffs again. The pillows were really starting to get stained, now. We'd have to buy more.

"Dammit Stu do you even know how much this is gonna-" He gasped and clutched the sheets gently, clearly as a sign of pain. I had inserted myself into him and it took my breath away. I was dying to start moving, my hormones raging through me like a wildfire, but I stayed still waiting for him to get accustomed to it, just like he had for me. I knew that it must hurt him, just like it had me at first, but I had been daydreaming about doing this since he had done it to me. Murdoc wasn't relaxing and I was getting worried, wondering if I had put it in him wrong. Also, thinking about the fact that my dick was bigger than his and he was smaller than me so it must hurt worse for him. I was about to pull out and forget about it but he stopped me.

"Fucking...move, Stuart..." His hands were still clenched in pain, his words ground out through his teeth. I was taken aback and was confused as to what he had meant.

"Wot?"

"Move your fucking hips RIGHT NOW." My horniness had returned and I began moving in and out of him slowly, seductively kissing his neck and shoulder blades. I was reluctant to move too quickly because I was still frightened that I might hurt him. He moaned, whether in pain or pleasure I didn't know, and I was about to pull out but- "God, Stu," he panted, "go faster." I was happy to oblige and moved faster, his breath hitching, making me more horny than I already was. I clutched his hips and went harder. I couldn't stop myself at this point. I was panting and sweating and it felt so God damn amazing. Murdoc was making it even better than it had already been because of the seductive sounds he was making, urging me on, keeping me going. Before this point I'd had no idea that those kinds of moans could come out of Murdoc, and God, they were spectacular.

"Murdoc..." I breathed his name with desire as I came and I pulled out, feeling exhilerated. All I wanted was Murdoc and I had him. I never planned on letting him go, ever. I panted and sloppily kissed his neck wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling him close.

"Hey Stu, babe, darling, dearest," he panted, smiling painedly. "Could you do me a really really big favor...? COULD YOU UNLOCK THESE DAMN HANDCUFFS NOW, please, for the love of Satan, please." I smiled and unlocked his cuffs and right as they fell off to the ground he pounced on top of me and kissed me ferociously, making me moan with delight. Then he smiled and got up, waddling to the bathroom.

"Sweet Satan, I need liquor," he moaned, pulling on his pants, going commando. "And bandages." I sighed and did a puppy dog face and pout, while lighting a cigarette. "Oi, don't you dare! You got your pleasure out of me, now it's my turn to make you MY bitch, and I sayest get me bandages and ale, wench!" I saluted him and headed for the door-

"You don't salute! You curtsy!" I did the best curtsy I could mange in my state and headed out to get him his ailments, first putting on some pants.

I came back moments later and took a good look at the mess we had made. Murdoc's blood was absolutely everywhere. He was sitting patiently on the bed and I sighed and frowned as I walked over to give him his things. He stared at me in wonder, most likely curious about why I looked saddened.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you baby..." I put my head down in my lap and sighed again. I hadn't meant to cut him up so badly, I just wanted to have a little bit of fun. I would never want to hurt him. A tear found a way down my face and fell onto my pants. He pulled my chin up, looking me in the eyes and smiling.

"I'm alright, babe, seriously. S'just a little blood, I've had worse. It's my own damn fault anyways. And, you know, I've uh...I've hurt you a fair number of times. This is only fair," he finished, letting my face go before he got blood on me. "Now, erm, can you uh...help me put these on? I've never been good at first aid, I'll admit." I gave him a small smile as I wrapped his bandages around his badly damaged wrists. Once I had finished we looked into each others eyes and I could see his feelings for me dancing around in them. I leaned in and gave him a small peck on the lips. He then grabbed my face and kissed me sweetly, for a long time. Eventually we made our way back to the center of the bed and lay there kissing, and smiling, holding each other close. That's how we fell asleep.

(*)(*)(*)

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALPHIE!" It was finally the day. Little Alphie's first birthday. The date was November 26th and it couldn't be more perfect. We started serving the cake. Russel had taken it upon himself to get the cake, which was a cake made to look like it spelled out Alphie's name, in blocks. I must say, he outdid himself with that one. I expected something drum-or- taxedermy related honestly.

Speaking of Russel, he hadn't stopped laughing since this morning. Why you might ask? Because Murdoc was still waddling around like a retarded penguin and it was fucking hilarious. I managed to keep my laughter down though, because it was my little man's special day and I wanted it directed on him as much as possible. Earlier in the morning I had gone out to the Stylo and retrieved and wrapped Alphie's presents. I had a feeling that unwrapping the presents was going to be the best part of the day. I couldn't wait to see his little face when he tore into the gift I had gotten him.

"Are you ready for presents Alphie?" I laughed hysterically as Alphie practically bounced out of his high chair clapping and screaming, but before I could get him out, he slammed his face into his cake one last time, causing Murdoc to die laughing. I finally calmed the little booger down and got him cleaned up, before setting him in the middle of the living room floor. Russel handed Alphie the present he had gotten for him first. He tore into it and squealed as he pulled out a miniature drum kit. Russel smiled in delight as Alphs started beating on them, clearly enjoying himself. Next up was Del. Only Alphs could actually see Del so all we saw was a floating present box that landed in front of him. The lid then proceeded to lift off by itself and a DC hat made its way onto Alphie's head. He clapped and smiled wide with happiness. I assumed that Del was also happy that he had liked the gift. Second to last was Mudsy, who had a very special present. Murdoc took the liberty of helping Alphie open the box and put on his new attire. I snapped a picture of his new little outfit. He was all tricked out with a cape, a crown, and and Pazuzu rattle, courtesy of Mama. I smiled at the creativity in his gift. Last but not least was my gift.

I handed my son a brightly decorated package and smiled wide, showing all of my gapped glory. He excitedly ripped it up revealing my well thought out present. He immediately took a liking to the first thing in the box which was a children's toy microphone. I chuckled as he made silly sounds into it. He made his way back to the box and pulled out a little toy keyboard, which he instantly started banging on. I laughed at his adorableness and hid the next present under my arm as I pulled him out of the room, claiming that I needed to change him real quick. Everyone sighed, clearly disappointed, but I wanted the last gift to be a surprise.

I walked out into the living room, Alphie in my arms, smiling. Russel and Murdoc smiled and were amazed at my little surprise. I had changed Alphs into his new T-shirt and it was an exact match of the one that I had worn that day, on purpose of course. My boy and I were both sporting matching T-Virus shirts and I just had to admit that we looked friggin' adorable in them. He was like my little mini-me and I loved that. I then let him down to walk around, yep walk. Only one year old and already walking around like a big kid. I knew that kid didn't get his smarts from me, as much as I hated to admit it. He really was one smart cookie. I was so extremely proud of him and I think he knew it because he waltz over to me in the midst of my thoughts and spoke.

"I wuv yew daddy." I could feel myself tearing up as I picked him up and held him close to me. I loved this little kid so much. Everyone did, for that matter, and it wouldn't make sense if they didn't. He was a truly amazing kid.

"I love yew too, Aylphred." I smiled and clutched him to me. However, the moment was ruined by Murdoc's shout.

"Aylphred? His name is Alphonse, dingus." I looked at him with confusion.

"No, his name is Aylphred. That's what we put on his birth certificate. That's what I named him. Unless... Murdoc! Yew signed his name didn't yew!" Murdoc snickered and whipped out his birth certificate which, as I expected, read Alphonse Stuart Niccals. That damn bastard. I had been so caught up in the moment that I hadn't realized what he was writing.

"His name is Aylphred!" I was yelling now and getting upset with Murdoc.

"No. Clearly, it is Alphonse, you dumbfuck."

And thus, a new rivalry was born.

A/N: Holy freaking Jesus. That felt like it took forever. Seriously, I have been writing for hours. Psyke keeps making me look away from her because she says that she doesn't want to look at my dead eyes. I guess I look like a zombie when I get tired. Works for me though. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as we did and I once again apologize for taking so long. Peace!

-Noodle