Chapter 11: Kisame

Now that things had cooled down a bit, Kisame took this opportunity to find something to eat. There was very little to his liking and nothing he could make a meal out of. He started to opened cupboards and look inside. He managed to find some bread, but it was moldy. Rolling his eyes, he closed the wooden doors and looked down. Someone was standing beside him.

"What do you want?"

Itachi pushed Konan forward. "She wants a word with you for a minute. Privately."

"Is that right?" Kisame looked own at the woman. "Ok, I've got time to kill. What's up?"

Itachi took his hands off her shoulders. "I'll be outside. Let me know when you're down." He turned and walked out the door.

The plan was for her to put him under while Itachi watched the door to make sure no one disturbed them. Itachi stood outside the kitchen and waited, trying not to listen to what was happening inside. He didn't want to go under as well. He wasn't waiting any longer than five minutes when Konan opened the door and gestured for him to come inside.

Itachi walked back into the kitchen and looked at his partner. Kisame was standing exactly where he had left him, only his eyes were closed and he was slumped forward. "That's all it took?" he asked in a whisper. "That didn't take very long at all."

"He was very easy to put under," Konan told him. She led Itachi over to Kisame and looked up at his blue shark face. "So now what? I have him under. What did you want to do to him?"

Itachi did give it a lot of thought. He seemed to know exactly what he wanted to do to his partner. "Can you make him afraid of swords and knives?"

Konan stared at him. Itachi wasn't kidding. He meant it. She nodded and turned to Kisame. "When you awaken from this trance, you will be extremely afraid of swords and knives. Understand?"

He nodded slowly, his large body swaying slightly.

She looked back at Itachi who seemed to be smirking. "Anything else?"

This time he took his time in coming up with something. "You have a phrase to get him back into this state, don't you?"

"Yes."

"What's the phrase?"

"Waterfall."

"Doesn't that seem too easy?"

She shrugged.

Itachi waved his hand. "It doesn't matter. Keep it." He looked up at his partner again. "How about… every time someone says 'shark skin' he'll instantly forget what he's saying and doing as well as anything happening around him? And he'll get very mellow. Can we do that?"

Konan nodded and gave Kisame the command. The shark man nodded his head, accepting the commands given to him. Konan looked back at Itachi.

"I'm good for now. You can wake him up."

Konan turned back to Kisame and snapped her fingers. "Awake!"

Kisame's head jerked up and he looked around the room. "Wait, what did you say just now?"

"I didn't say anything," she told him.

"Oh." Kisame rubbed his head. "I thought… never mind. Never mind."

Itachi moved closer to Kisame, looking him in the eyes.

"What?" he asked, looking down.

"Nothing." He wanted to test it. "I just thought that what Hidan said was true. You know, about you making out with Konan when we weren't looking."

"What?!" Kisame roared. "How the hell could he say that?! I'll kill that rotten little-"

"Shark skin."

Kisame blinked, his rage suddenly gone. He stared straight ahead, frowning.

"Something wrong?"

"I… Uh…" He looked down at Itachi. "What was I doing just now?"

"Getting a glass of water, I think."

"Oh, yeah… That's right…" Kisame still looked as if he were in a daze, but Itachi saw this as good news. It meant that the commands worked.

Itachi motioned for Konan to follow him and the two left the kitchen. "That was easy."

"Yes, it was," said Konan. "He went under very quickly."

Itachi stood where he was, causing Konan to almost bump into him from behind. He was looking down.

"Itachi?"

He lifted his head but didn't turn around. After a moment, he turned his head giving her a sideways glance. "Konan…"

"Yes?" Itachi was behaving strangely. "What's wrong?"

He turned his body, now facing her. "I…" He swallowed. "I wanted to…"

Something rose out of the floor between them and both jumped back. Zetsu had returned, his jacket bulging with evidence of a successful shopping trip. "Look!" he said proudly at Konan. He held up a wicker basket in his left arm, showing off over a dozen fish, some of which were still flopping around. "Did I do good or what?"

She gave him a smile, showing him that she was pleased. "Thank you. You can put that in the kitchen. Looks like we have our dinner."

Holding back giggles of joy, Zetsu made for the kitchen, doing as he was told.

Itachi looked at Konan after he had left. "What exactly did you do to him? Make him happy all the time or something?"

"I made him very loyal to me and told him that he would be very happy to do anything I asked of him."

"No kidding." Itachi looked towards the kitchen, hearing voices and clattering from behind the wooden door.

"Itachi?"

"Hm?" He looked back.

"Weren't you about to say something to me before he showed up?"

"Oh. Yeah, I…" Itachi broke off, looking down. "You know… it's nothing. Never mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. It can wait."

Itachi was acting very odd. Konan wanted to find out what was causing this but decided that it could wait. He would tell her when the time came.

Dinner that evening was by far the oddest one Konan had ever sat through.

If it wasn't Zetsu spitting at Hidan every five seconds, or Kakuzu being polite and shy at the table, no longer caring about any sort of profit, it was Kisame's strange behavior while eating his dinner. He was staring at the knife resting beside Hidan's plate which wasn't that far from his. Hidan wasn't using it at the moment. He seemed to enjoy eating his food with his bare hands. His nervous behavior didn't go unnoticed by Sasori who had nothing to do but people watch as everyone else ate.

"What's with you?" he asked.

Kisame kept staring at the knife as if it were about to spring to life and attack him at any second. "N- nothing… I'm fine…" He slowly reached down to pick up his piece of fish on his plate. The second his fingers touched the tail, Hidan suddenly slammed his hand down on the tabletop as Zetsu spat at him again, making the silverware, which included the knife, jump. Kisame jumped, dropping the fish and recoiling. "Don't do that!"

"Don't do what?" Hidan asked bitterly.

"That!" Kisame said again, a slight whine in his voice. "J- just don't move, ok?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Zetsu spat again. Hidan blocked with his plate. "Try again, you pussy!" As he slammed his plate back down, he caused the silverware to jump again, causing Kisame to flinch and back away toward Itachi. Itachi didn't mind. He knew this was bound to happen. Seeing Kisame act like this was pretty funny. No one would know this on account of Itachi never showing the slightest sound of pleasure, unless a smirk counted. But even that wasn't seen because of his high collar.

Hidan struck the table again, making the knife lurch forward. Kisame pressed his body tightly up against Itachi who was sitting next to him at the table. Without looking up, Itachi whispered, "Shark skin." At once Kisame's stiff body melted and he looked down at the table, unable to remember what he was doing moments ago. His fear was long forgotten.

A second later, Hidan picked up his knife to cut his meat. This time when Zetsu spat at him, he waved the knife in the air, bringing it close to Kisame's face, causing him to give a high-pitched scream. Everyone looked at him.

"You scream like a girl!" remarked Sasori.

Hidan started laughing. "You scream like a damn little girl! You're such a little bitch!" A spit wad hit him just above his left eyes. "You wanna die?! Is that it?!" he screamed at Zetsu, who was still unaware that he was doing anything out of the ordinary.

"Just stop waving that in my face!" Kisame cried. "You'll take my eye out!"

"Big freaking deal!"

Kisame clung to Itachi as the knife was waved again. "St- stop it! Please!"

"Shark skin."

Kisame looked down, suddenly aware that he was holding his partner. "Um… why am I hugging you?"

"Don't know. But whatever you do, don't look up."

"Why not?" Kisame looked up and saw the knife. "Ahh! Get that thing away from me!"

"Shark skin."

"What was I saying again..?"

"You're such a puss. Damn it! Stop spitting at me!"

Konan sighed. She didn't know if she could handle one week of this. She ducked as a plate was thrown her way. Hidan was climbing on top of the table, trying to get to Zetsu. Deidara grabbed his own plate and held it off to the side, yelling for everyone to stop so that he could eat in peace. Kisame clung to Itachi again as a knife flew through the air and landed point down in the center of the table. Another knife became airborne and landed in Sasori's knee, which he paid little attention to. Zetsu kept spitting and Kakuzu just sat there, not caring about anything that was happening around him.

Perhaps tomorrow she would see if she could tamper with someone else's mind and finally get a little peace around here. Or at the very least, order someone to go into a coma.

The table suddenly flipped over as Hidan made a desperate grab for Zetsu. The food went onto the floor and people's laps and Hidan pulled Zetsu onto the ground with him and started to punch his half-moon face as many times as he could. Deidara managed to keep ahold of his plate and ate as fast as he could before that, too, went onto the floor. Itachi managed to stand off to the side and avoid most of the mess as Kisame ran out the door, screaming about how one of the knives almost touched him. Sasori just sat there watching them and Kakuzu kept eating, indifferent to everything around him. The only plus side of this that Konan could find was the likely idea of them all sleeping well tonight.

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