**After S6E11 Appointment in Samarra, and Featuring scenes from S7E2 Hello, Cruel World**
After Sam got his soul back he started to notice the things he didn't care about without it. He noticed the way Dean leaned into Vampire hunts. He saw the way Dean watched over children playing nearby, searching for familiar faces. He was aware of Dean racing up the porch stairs at Bobby's two at a time whenever a blue Chevelle was parked outside. He watched his elder brother's shoulders drop when he noticed the counter was clear of Baileigh's favourite mug and any trace of her special coffee ingredients.
"Dean..." Sam tried to talk to his brother, but Dean ignored him and stomped through the house looking for another sign of Baileigh or Sarah. "Dean, just call her."
"Who?"
"Baileigh," Sam replied incredulous. "You obviously miss her. You're searching around like a dog searching for his best friend."
Bobby must be borrowing her car again, Dean thought. He leaned back against the kitchen counter. "I can't Sam. You should have seen her when I sent her away. And the last time I saw her... that was almost a year ago." He sighed disheartened. "No Sam. She doesn't want to see me."
Sioux Falls, South Dakota- September 30 2011 *Dean's trying to hold onto his sanity in the wake of Cas' death, as Sam loses his marbles and see's Lucifer*
In Bobby's kitchen Bobby got up and stretched across the kitchen table from Dean, Sam was alone in the living room compulsively cleaning his gun. "You? How're you doin'?"
Dean leaned forward and spoke under his breath, "Seriously Bobby, it ain't like he's hexed ya' know, what if this is the kinda' crazy ya' can't fix?"
"Yeah. I know. I'm worried too." He shook his head. "But humour me for a second, how are you?"
"Who cares?" Dean replied shaking his head. "Don't ya' think our mailbox is a little full right now? I'm fine."
"Right. And weren't you pissed at him when he said the same thing just a couple hours before he spilled his marbles all over the floor."
"I'm not Sam, k? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin' box. I'm fine. Really."
"'Course. Just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother's in the bell jar and purgatory's most wanted are surfin' the sewer lines but yeah, yeah, I get it, right. You're, you're fine."
An hour later,
There was a knock on the back door and Bobby rocked back on the heels of his feet. He raised his eyebrows at Sam who returned his look confused. "C'mon in!"
The back door creaked open and in stepped a woman in a blue plaid shirt, with dark blue jeans and her favourite bright red Chucks. Her long sandy brown hair was pleated into a braid cascading down the side of her neck. Without looking up, Baileigh walked in and held the door for Sarah as she sauntered in calling for 'Uncle Bobby.' Baileigh held the door open and followed Sarah who stopped in the center of the kitchen. She stared at the two tall men standing near Bobby in surprise. Baileigh froze too- she wasn't expecting the Winchesters.
Baileigh looked from a surprised and confused Sam, to a stunned Dean and finally to Bobby who looked a little too proud and not nearly guilty enough about arranging this surprise meeting. She raised an accusatory eyebrow at Bobby as Sarah recognized Dean and raced at him shouting gleefully. Sarah ran happily at Dean who opened his arms for her instinctively and scooped her up, hugging her tight.
"I can't believe how big you are!" Dean said amazed by the little girl.
She looked at him in surprise, grabbed his face and said, "I can't beliebe" -she still hadn't figured out how to pronounce v's- "how big you are." He laughed.
"When did you start talking?" Dean was almost taken aback.
She looked at him as if he were being silly- as if she was born able to talk. "So many ago Dean," she said shaking her head, "so many ago." Dean laughed and looked to Baileigh whose mouth was screwed up trying not to laugh at the adorable little girl.
"So many?" he wondered.
"Yep," she confirmed and then her attention was lost as she looked around the room and noticed Sam and Bobby.
"Sam and I will watch Sarah and give you two time to catch up," said Bobby. Dean gave Bobby a cautious look. Watch Sam too- is what it meant. Bobby nodded. Sam looked at Dean encouragingly and nodded toward Baileigh excited before following Bobby down the hall after Sarah as she chatted about nonsense that had happened at daycare.
Baileigh and Dean stood in the kitchen with nothing to say. Baileigh made the first move, and left the house. This time Dean followed her retreat. Contrary to how it seemed, Baileigh wasn't running away, instead she was casually walking around the salvage yard where they were both more comfortable. Dean caught up easily and matched her pace.
"Sarah's so big," Dean said eventually.
"She's almost four and a half."
"She looks amazing. Good job."
"It's not easy," she said as she dug her hands into her front pockets, "but thanks." They continued their circuit of the yard; Dean opening his mouth to talk and closing it several times before Baileigh sat on the back hatch of a pick-up truck. "How are you doing? I hope Lisa and Ben are okay." Dean looked confused. She looked at him friendly, "You wouldn't have followed me if you were still with them." She thought back to the last time she had seen Dean and he hadn't chased after her. "Are they okay?" She asked again. Dean nodded. "Are you?" Dean scuffed the sole of his shoe in the gravel and shrugged. "It's not just them is it?" she asked, and Dean shook his head. Baileigh hopped down from the back of the truck and hugged Dean around the middle. "I'm sorry," she said holding him. Dean's head rested on her shoulder. Her hair still smelled of baby powder and pine-freshness, with a hint of armor-all. He relaxed slightly and wrapped his hands gently around her waist, letting her hold him.
When she let go Baileigh hopped back into the back of the truck and pat the tailgate inviting him to join her.
"I'm so sorry Lee."
"For what?" she asked remembering the last time they had this conversation.
"I was a coward," he said quietly. It was hard to admit. "I thought I was being selfish by being with you and that you were safer without me and I didn't know how else to give you that chance."
"You need to grow up Dean."
"What?"
"Grown ups talk about their fears. For example: I'm afraid vampires are going to come for me and Sarah, or worse, just me and leave Sarah to grow up without a family," she fought not to add 'again.'
"I won't let that happen."
"I'm being serious Dean."
"So am I."
"Okay," she sighed, "if you're serious, tell me the truth, do you still love Lisa?" The question caught Dean off guard, and he took a moment to consider how to answer. She wasn't trying to be cruel or nasty and Dean could tell, despite not understanding why she would ask that question. When he didn't answer, Baileigh nodded. "That's what I thought." She was matter of fact and rational rather than emotional when she continued, "you shouldn't feel guilty that you love her."
"But I still love you too," Dean replied very quietly. His voice cracked as he spoke.
"I'm glad to hear that." The smile that spread across her face made her light eyes sparkle.
"I never stopped thinking about you two," Dean explained. He had expected Baileigh to smile at that, but she didn't.
"That's what I'm afraid of. You were with someone else and still loved me." She lay back in the truck bed. "I never stopped loving you. I tried." She blushed. "I tried really hard, but I couldn't and that's why I never found anyone else. It wouldn't have been fair to them." She sat back up and looked at Dean apologetically. "I won't pretend to know anything about you and Lisa, but I've lost a lot of people in my life. If there's one thing I'm good at it's dealing with loss, what I can't deal with is you leaving or pushing me away again." Dean stayed quiet as she spoke, listening carefully. "I miss you Dean and I'm not going anywhere, but I can't be with you until you're over Lisa and Ben."
"They don't even know who I am anymore," Dean rebutted.
She waved, "It doesn't matter. I get that there will always be a place for them in your heart." The smile returned to her cheeks, "I don't need your whole heart Dean, but Sarah and I need part of the majority, and until you're ready for that we'll just be friends. Okay?"
"Sounds fair." Relief flooded Dean's body. His shoulders relaxed and he lay back in the back of the truck and closed his eyes.
"Oh, and you can't push me away 'for my own good' anymore. I'm not stupid. If something's dangerous, tell me. I'll listen."
Dean nodded, his eyes still closed. "I really do love you."
She planted a sweet, quick kiss on his lips. "I know," and hopped out of the truck headed back to the house. Dean followed behind her a few paces watching as she skipped from foot to foot as she walked happily.
Inside they found the kitchen was empty, but they heard voices in the living room. When they entered, Sam and Bobby were standing around looking confused and a little frightened. The carpet was rolled up and Sarah was lying in the middle of an old, orange spray-painted devil's trap, rolling around, growling and spitting.
"What's going on?" Baileigh asked wondering if she should be worried.
Sam piped up, "she found the devil's trap on the floor and when Bobby explained how it's used to trap 'monsters' she started pretending to be a monster. She says she's trapped and won't come out." He grimaced as she pretended to walk around the circle unable to get out, stomping her feet demanding to be set free.
Bobby wasn't moving. His arms were crossed over his chest and he didn't blink as he watched. "It's a bizarre combination of adorable and terrifying."
Dean stepped forward and addressed 'monster Sarah'. "Monster," he called, and Sarah turned with all of her attention on Dean, "we can't let you out, not till you're regular Sarah again. Got it?" Sarah hissed playfully. Her toes danced at the edge of the circle. Dean pulled a bottle of Holy Water from a nearby shelf. "Monsters hate this stuff, and when I spray you, you're going to let her go and turn back to normal. Understood?" Sarah nodded as Dean sprinkled her with Holy Water. Like the Wicked Witch of the West, Sarah cried out, melted and splayed out on the floor in the middle of the devil's trap dramatically. "Sarah?"
The little girl's eyes blinked open and she rolled over and ran at Dean happily. Picking her up, Dean looked to Baileigh who was distracted by a quiet conversation with Bobby, "You two okay?" Bobby asked.
She smiled looking at Sarah who was flailing out of Dean's arms trying to reach his brother who still looked a little afraid of her. "We're talking again, and that's a good start."