Chapter 11

Abby had brought the evidence from the car back up to her lab, Gibbs was her silent shadow the whole way up under the guise of helping her carry what she had collected.

She knew, as much as the Caf-Pow! he had presented to her, this offer of help was a silent apology. Gibbs didn't say sorry, sign of weakness and all, she knew that, but she also knew the man.

The silent hovering after an argument was his apology for what he saw as stepping out of line, but this time there was some kind of a weird Jekyll/Hyde thing going on.

This was the type of behavior he had those few times he'd been worried that someone was going to hurt her, the weird part this time is he seemed to be hovering with an equally powerful desire to leave as if he'd convinced himself that he needed to protect her from himself.

So he was doing the hovering over-protective father-figure thing he sometimes did with an undercurrent of eyes slightly wide, looking for an exit should his mouth get out of control again.

She had worked closely with him for too long not to catch his subtle cues. That little quirk of his mouth with an eyebrow slightly raised that told her he knew he'd been an ass and begged her not to hate him. That little shrug as he turned away that projected his inner struggle with issues of personal guilt.

The sudden recollection of what she had said to him made her cringe. She knew he had deep-seeded guilt issues concerning Kate and Jenny and leaving Ziva in Israel, but she had thrown it in his face because she couldn't put words to her own fears.

As her eyes misted over she thought that it was fortunate she had her back to the man now as she compared hair collected from the trunk to hair of their victims in a microscope. On the same token, finally taking her eyes from him where she didn't have to keep a straight face so she didn't do any further damage then she already had by saying something else out of frustration.

Seeing the look on his face earlier when he had made the connection between her words and his self doubt and inner struggle with guilt, thinking that she had been calling him out shook her. It was the briefest second, a simple flash of emotion that seemed to transition in a split second through pain, angst, guilt, was that fear?, eventually settling on anger as their verbal exchange had exploded.

She knew he was watching her stare far too long into a microscope and wondering whether she was ignoring him out of residual anger, but she couldn't make herself turn around.

She heard him get up and move towards the door and she took a deep breath as she reached to the counter and hit a button on the remote there.

"Abby, unlock the door." Gibbs said tiredly as he tried to leave.

"Seriously, Gibbs, tell me what's going on with you." she didn't look up from the microscope, "I told you that my hinky feeling was driving my side of the outburst, I just want to know what was driving yours."

He knew she was sulking, despite her earlier reassurances he was sure she was not completely over what had been said in the evidence garage. He knew she needed an explanation beyond that he was just being an ass, but he didn't know how to give it to her.

He had thought about it on the way up and he sat there watching her with her shoulders set and rigid as she stared into the microscope but was obviously not able to focus. He knew he owed her something. They had been through a lot together and aside from Ducky she was his closest friend. The kind of friend, unlike Duck, who wouldn't psycho-analyze him after a conversation.

He knew she hadn't meant anything malicious by her comments early, she was simply stating facts that she thought would convince him to see things her way, but he'd let it get to him. After so many years together, he knew hers was a gentle heart, one that wounded easily and was long to heal.

"You got anything I can do with my hand, Abs?"

She nodded, understanding in her eyes, and showed him how to sort and organize the samples to get them ready for testing. She passed him a spare lab coat, set a box of rubber gloves on the table and turned back to her work, knowing that would help alleviate the pressure. "Sorry, I don't have any bourbon."

He chuckled weakly, "It's alright." he said as he put on the white coat and a pair of gloves, working silently for several minutes. "It's this case, I let it get under my skin." She watched him surreptitiously through the reflexion on the darkened computer screen as he fidgeted and fell silent for a few more minutes.

She had actually begun to think he was going to call it quits with just that when he began again.

"I've been thinking about Shannon and Kelly a lot." He was not used to baring his soul, but he knew Abby needed an explanation, some reassurance; more then he needed to keep everything all bottled up inside where it was safe. Despite his reservations, he pushed on.

"It's partly this case and all the talk of families lost. But it's more then that, as sad as it to lose a man like Trevor Macey, it's watching all of you. It's sending Ziva and Tony off half cocked, no matter how competent I know they are. It's watching you worry over them and making you cry." he paused a moment before continuing, "Tim has really been worrying me."

She cut him off suddenly, surprising even herself, because Gibbs never got talking like this, and she just jumped in and interrupted his flow, "What about Tim?"

Gibbs shook his head as if he wasn't about to tell her a thing, but she turned and he saw the red rimmed eyes, the smudged mascara and the concern evident in her expression.

He sighed, will power gone. She cared a lot about his youngest field agent, he knew that, you'd have to be blind not to see how close those two were. At the same time, he knew that he really shouldn't be sharing his opinions and observations with another person when he couldn't even discuss it with Tim to his face.

He decided on taking the cowards way out, by telling Abby, knowing that she'd discuss things with his younger agent and save him from another uncomfortable conversation.

He slowly explained his concerns for his young agent's emotional state surrounding the case, his seeming attachment to the dead lieutenant through his journal, the meeting with lieutenant Macey's love interest and his general disregard for consulting Gibbs in matters of the case before making his own decisions, calling meetings, scheduling flights..

She stared at him as he haltingly poured out his concerns for McGee and then each of his agents in turn, and when he was done he stopped staring at the table and stilled his hands from their work, looking her straight in the eye, "And I'm tired, Abby. Your enthusiasm is usually the ray of sunshine that keeps me up and going. Without that I've been feeling old and worn down."

She thought he was done and moved around the table embracing him in a comforting hug, "You reminded me of Kelly today." he whispered suddenly. "I don't deal with all this touchy-feely talking things out crap very well and so instead yelled at you. It was wrong and it wasn't your fault and it kills me that I made you cry."

Silent tears had started running down her face, crying for Gibbs, for his family, for their little NCIS family. As he rubbed her back comfortingly, she hit the button to unlock the door to the lab.

That was the greatest, sweetest most amazing heart-to-heart she and Gibbs had ever had. She was in slight shock at the events of the last several minutes when he said, "I think, Kelly would have been a lot like you."

Abby was sobbing openly now, mind rushing with a million thoughts she wouldn't say. Not only did she know her overactive tongue would ruin this moment that she was carefully cataloging in her brain to pull out and remember the next time Gibbs was brooding silently, but also because she could sense that he was done, drained, and didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Feeling vindicated, she had always known there were serious thoughts hidden away right there in his head, but unlike her the personal things he thought stayed in his head where as everything she thought came right out of her mouth, rarely even filtered for logic or continuity.

Her commitment to silence lasted a little over 60 seconds, then she felt her resolve collapse and she started rambling incessantly as she turned back to the work at hand, sure to get them away from the current conversation and onto a safe topic, the case.

xoxo

McGee had placed his duffel bag on his desk and went through the tapes from the area where the car had been abandoned.

Not that he didn't believe Abby that there wasn't any clean shots of the suspect's face, but more to study the way that he moved so if they happened across something while they were in Miami perhaps it would click. Having found the unfocused, grainy, or distant shots from various cameras less then helpful, McGee headed in search of Abby, knowing she'd want a hug and a promise to return safely before they left for the airport.

Checking his watch again as the elevators opened on the Evidence garage he noted she was not there, so must have finished up. He started up to her lab and for the second time in as many hours, Tim found Abby and Gibbs in an unusual situation.

Abby was talking excitedly about anything and everything, that wasn't new, but Gibbs was sporting a lab coat, sorting evidence silently at Abby's large stainless steel table. Gibbs looked exhausted and had an expression on his face that McGee couldn't place and had never seen before.

Where not so long ago, they had been pissed at each other, looking as though each might tear the others face off at any second, now a calm seemed to have settled on Gibbs and Abby, well as much of a calm as can settle over a room with Abby in it.

There was no secret that she was hyperactive in the extreme. It was something that would be annoying on just about any other person, but on her was one of her most endearing traits.

Abby spotted him, he knew from the excited squeal, "Timmy!" as she bounded towards him and wrapped him in a huge hug. When she released him he realized her hand was out to Gibbs who passed over the white jacket he had been wearing.

Gibbs planted a gentle kiss on her cheek and let her know that they would all be home soon.

As soon as Gibbs was out the door Abby turned to him with wide puppy eyes.

That look had always made him nervous. She knew something, not sure what it was, but she was ready to have a heartfelt conversation with him and he found himself at a loss.

His wariness grew as she began going on and on about Lieutenant Macey and Teresa, and then he finally gets it, she's trying to console him about a hurt she could obviously see in him over the past two days.

He kicks himself for being such a softy, but when she pulls him into a gentle non-crushing hug and runs a hand through his hair to comfort him, he suddenly doesn't care that he's probably more transparent then any NCIS agent in the history of NCIS agents.

xoxo

As Gibbs heads out of the lab he can't help the little smile that tugs at his lips. Sorry for your luck Tim he thinks as he remembers the tender look Abby gave him as Gibbs swept out of the room.

That girl's ability to get men to spill their guts was unmatched by even his most persistent wives, but surprisingly he felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from him.

As he rode the elevator up, he thought perhaps there was something to this talking things out, thing.

Sitting at his desk a few minutes later after having gotten all his things together, he thought perhaps it would be good to get a status update from Tony and Ziva.

He dialed Tony's number and waited. After several rings he heard, "This is Tony, I can't get to the phone right now. If I don't know you, leave a message, otherwise, that's why they invented Caller ID."

Gibbs wondered absently when Tony had changed his voice mail greeting and made a mental note to give him a good head-slapping for having such an unprofessional greeting.

Shrugging it off as Tony probably having left his phone in the car, he dialed Ziva's number. Four rings followed by, "You've reached Ziva David. Please leave a message." Her greeting was just like his agent, straight forward and to the point.

He had ignored his gut at Tony not answering, but both of them? His gut churned telling him this is wrong, knowing that if anything happened to them, especially after that conversation with Abby, there wouldn't be enough bourbon in the world to drown this guilt.

He grabbed his bag and McGee's duffel off his desk as he tried repeatedly to reach each agent on his way back down to Abby's lab, wondering the whole way how he was going to tell her that he couldn't reach the two agents she had been begging him to protect.

xoxo

A/N: Sorry for taking 2 days instead of getting something up for you yesterday, apparently working full time, being a parent, and writing until all hours of the night, then getting 5 hours of sleep and doing it over again will take a toll on your immune system... Who'd've thunk it?

Sick two times in less then two weeks. Perhaps it is a sign that I need to slow down, but no work again until Monday, so I'll try to get as much updating done as possible.

Sorry about taking Gibbs into seriously uncharted territory, but, really the whole story was inspired but the boat scene, the rest is fabricated from mid-air by my sub-conscience, spur of the moment, written in usually one or two sittings per chapter. Let me know what you think. I should have another update tomorrow 10/9 since I'm sure you're all worried about whether I let Tony and Ziva drown in the Atlantis Ocean... Thanks for reading.