I do not own X-Men Evolution. I got monkeys in me!

The Morlocks and Ass-olytes don't get any lines in this one. Oh well. Don't worry, I'll bring them back soon enough. I haven't forgotten about them. I would promise you a next chapter date, but the last time I did that, it jinxed me and I ended up getting a block right before the deadline I gave myself. Oh yeah, if you have any suggestions for something funny for the Ass-olytes to do or say, send it in PLEASE. I have nothing on them, I've been sucked dry of Ass-olytes funnies.

Chapter 11

"So, you want to know what the plan is?" Lance asked the other Brotherhood members.

"Yeah!" Blob said.

"Totally, yo!" Toad said.

"Not really," Wanda replied dryly.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Pietro asked. The Power-8 was obviously taking its toll.

Lance ignored Pietro. "Okay, my plan is to put the pop rocks in the Coca-Cola. Then, it'll explode! And while it's fizzing, I'll throw the container of coke at the X-Men, along with the ranch dressing." Lance laughed evilly. "They'll be covered in ranchy ew!"

"Well, what's the other stuff for?" Wanda asked.

"Us!" he handed out refreshments.

Wanda took a sip of her soda. "I HATE SPRITE!" She took the top off the drink and rammed it down Toad's pants.

Toad twitched in pain and citrus-flavored refreshment in all the wrong places. "You're sexy when you do that…" he muttered with a smile that was really a grimace.

Pietro turned to the guy at the concession stand, but not before grabbing the sunglasses off of some random old guy. "I'm Pietro Maximoff, and this is the Total Jackass Slam!" Pietro ran as fast as he could into the photo booth, breaking it instantly.

Ray looked at Pietro with hatred. "I was going to use that…"

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"What movie is this anyway?" Kitty asked Kurt.

"I have no idea! Want to make out?" Kurt asked eagerly.

"I told you Kurt, we're just friends."

"Could we be just friends in a sexier manner?"

Kitty ignored him and turned to the movie. "Is this 'My Super Ex-girlfriend'? She asked Bobby.

Bobby smiled creepily. "Maaaaaaaayyybe…"

Kitty realized it was. She looked at the seat next to Bobby, where Ray was seated. She decided to speak to him for no apparent reason. "Her powers are crappy."

When she spoke, Ray cringed. "Stop yelling at me!" He curled up into the fetal position and sucked his thumb.

"Ray!" Bobby looked at him. "Stop that! That's the second time today!"

Ray obediently obeyed and relaxed his legs and lips.

Bobby reached over into the seat in front of him and tapped Beast The Third Row Seat 12 Occupant. "Hey, I saw this movie already. Can Ray, Amara, Sam, and I go to see 'Clerks 2' instead?"

"No," Beast The Popcorn Eater responded calmly.

"Why not?"

"It's rated R for Rope."

"How about 'A Scanner Darkly'?"

"That one is worse. Rated R for Rabbit attacks." Beast The Uma Thurman Fan responded.

Bobby sighed and sat back down. He turned to Ray on his right, who had Sam on his right, who had Amara on his right. "Guess what?"

"What?" Sam asked.

"You're getting a boob job?" Amara asked.

"WHAT? No! We're making a great escape to another movie!" Bobby said proudly.

"Must you make everything a mission?" Ray asked.

"Yeah sure, whatever. Let's go!"

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Lance mixed together the pop rocks and Coca-Cola. He had just thrown up the sizzling, ready-to-explode mix and ranch dressing into the air, when Pietro came running to the Brotherhood. He looked up at the ranch dressing.

"Lance…you dropped your ssssssstuuuffffff… forty feet up! I'll get it!" Pietro ran up the walls and jumped to grab the dressing and pop-rock cola.

"Pietro, NO!"

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Uh-oh. What horrors will bestow poor Quicksilver? Will he die? If he does, will Magneto care? Will Avalanche ever realize that his helmet IS stupid? Who knows. Who cares. Review. DO IT. The ratio of reviewers to the hits of the story is starting to make me think...