It all belongs to Stephenie M. I am just lucky to dabble with them.

WARNING: This story contains drama, blush-worthy cursing, and lots of mature situations.

Chapter Title: Angry Men and Farfegnugen

Chapter Song: "Beat the Boys" by Lab

Bella's POV:

"Hey, Nora! Where's Nick?" Kate greeted as soon as she saw me.

I smiled at her reference to Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, a movie about a girl falling for a bass playing guy. "He was writing a paper the last time I got a text from him."

"Angela told me all about him playing and the customers swooning last night."

I couldn't help the smirk my lips pulled into. "Did she mention the wave of jealously that ran through the place when he wrapped me up in his arms right after?"

Kate snorted and pushed on my shoulder. "You know you don't deserve that man. You should really let someone more appreciative take him off your hands. Like me."

"Isn't it a little early in the morning for the jealous bitch side of you to make an appearance?"

"You were the one who flaunted your total package boyfriend in my face."

"I introduced my boyfriend. At your insistence, I might add. Flaunting him would be if I told you how fucking phenomenal the sex is and how those long fingers of his reach spots I didn't even know I had." I made my eyes widen and gave a fake gasp, covering my parted lips with my fingers. "Oops."

Kate huffed and rolled her eyes. "And you have the nerve to call me a bitch."

"Actually, I call you 'bit' because you're still in training and haven't earned the 'c' and 'h' just yet."

She snorted and slung an arm around my shoulders. "It is hard work to keep up with one as wonderfully and cruelly evil as you, Bella."

"Mind and hands off my man, Kate."

"Sure thing, Bella." Her words might have been believable if she hadn't had a big fucking shit-eating grin on her face.

"I'm serious, Kate. Don't fucking make me call Garrett on your ass."

"Garrett knows I look. As long as I'm not touching anyone but him, he has no problems with my fantasy sex life."

I snorted and shook my head at her. "Why don't you stop trying to piss me off and go do some work?"

"Believe me, getting a real rise out of you is work."

I ignored her teasing. "So is Angela here yet?"

"Here and walking around with a dazed look on her face."

"That sounds promising," I said as I looked around the coffeehouse. "But it'll have to wait for break time. Looks like most of the town decided to have breakfast here today."

For the next couple of hours, we were busy with refills and breakfast orders for the staying customers, and to-go cups for the passing-through crowd. All we offered for food was muffins and bagels, but our regulars liked them well enough. Mr. Morris had a partnership with a bakery down the street for them to supply us with our morning menu items, and we served cold sandwiches for the rest of the day. The food wasn't spectacular, leaving our coffees to be the main attraction—just how it was supposed to be in a coffeehouse in my opinion.

When we finally got our first fifteen minute break of the day, Kate and I grabbed Angela by the arms and towed her out of the back door and into the alley behind the shop.

"How was the date?" Kate asked, holding Angela by the shoulders.

"How was the man?" I questioned, grinning at the shocked look on Angela's face.

"It was … and he was … and we were …" Angela stuttered before clamping her teeth onto her thumbnail.

Kate put an arm around Angela's shoulders to comfort her. "Was it bad? Did he not get you off?"

"No!" Angela cried. "No, no, no. No sex."

"Oh," Kate said, looking as shocked as Angela had earlier.

"What did happen, Angela?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back onto the right track.

"He brought a movie and a pizza over to my place. He even had all of my favorite toppings on it. We watched that romantic comedy '27 Dresses'. It was funny, sad, and sweet all at the same time."

Kate chuckled. "Did you break out into song and sing some Bennie and the Jets?"

Angela tucked her head down, but we could still see the grin on her face. "No. We just laughed. And ate pizza."

Kate sighed and shook her head. "The most innocent date ever."

"At least tell us the man kissed you," I said. If Cheney hadn't even kissed this girl goodnight, he and I would be having a long conversation later.

Angela giggled and nodded.

"And?" Kate cried.

"It was very nice," Angela said. If it had been anyone else saying that with a straight face, I would have been yelling "bullshit" at the top of my lungs. But it was Angela and I knew she was as sweet as the day was long.

And that sweet woman had her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "You're welcome," I said through my laughter.

The backdoor opened and Ben's head popped out. "I know you guys are on break, but we got a sudden influx and Mr. Morris is having trouble with the register."

"I'll help," Angela offered right away.

Kate and I laughed under our breath while watching Angela practically run toward the door and disappear inside with Ben.

Kate sighed. "She probably didn't even get any tongue action."

I couldn't help but snort at that. "Kate, she probably doesn't care. She's not like us."

"With Garrett out of town, I need to be reminded what it is to have a man around. Tell me a story, Bella."

I shook my head. "He'll be back tomorrow night."

"Do you know how far away that is?" She grabbed my arm and shook it a little. "Come on, Nora. Tell me about Nick."

"Nick is … He's amazing."

"Can you feel your face right now? 'Cause the smile on it is un-fucking-believable."

I chuckled and nodded. "Total side effect of Edward." My phone vibrated in my pocket and I reached under my apron to get it out. "And that's probably my man now."

"I'm leaving," Kate said, her lips turned down in a pout. "You've made me jealous and homesick for my guy at the same and I have to call him before I end up crying in the alley."

I rolled my eyes at her dramatic behavior and flipped open my cell phone. The screen informed me I had a new text message and I quickly opened it.

Can't wait for tonight! Going to be bigger than last year.

I laughed at Alice's text as I replied to it.

Ain't no party like a Cullen party.

I decided it was too damn cold to wait in the alley for her reply and headed back inside, nearly running into Ben.

"Bella, do you have just a second?" he asked.

"Sure, Cheney. What's up?"

"I wanted to thank you so much for arranging that date last night. I never thought a girl like Angela would be interested in me or I would have asked her out a long time ago. So thanks."

"No problem, Ben. Just know that I did it for Angela, and if you break her heart, I'll break your dick."

He gulped and nodded before tossing himself through the small door to my right and disappearing into the kitchen area.

"Break his dick?" Emmett questioned.

I looked up to find the big lug leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a big grin on his face. I flipped him off and then gave him a big hug. "Are you excited for tonight?" I asked as he put his arm around me and pulled me toward the front of the coffeehouse.

"Yeah, but I can't decide if I'm more excited for the game or the party."

"I just got a text from Alice letting me know how excited she is for tonight. She invited our floor, the floor above us, and the floor below us to ensure no one complained about the noise."

"Yeah, she's in that damn party planning psycho mode of hers. The damn fairy princess kicked me out of the apartment. It's friggen nine in the morning, Bells. I should be sleeping right now, resting up for my last football game."

I rolled my eyes at his whining. "Your brother and I have been up since five."

"Damn fools," Emmett said with a shake of his head.

"So what can I get for you?" I asked once Emmett had sat himself down in one of the booths.

"Some of that flavored coffee shit you gave me last time I was here and two banana nut muffins. But first, you can sit your ass down so we can talk."

Emmett rarely ever wanted to talk so I didn't even think about it; I just slid into the cushy seat across from him. "What's up? Did you get in trouble with the girls?"

"No, it's not me I want to talk about. It's you."

My curiosity went up about three damn notches. "What about me?"

"You've been dating my brother for two weeks now. I wanted to know if he's doing right by you."

"Why aren't you asking Edward?"

"To be perfectly honest, I don't really give a shit about his feelings. And I'm asking you because I know you won't feed me a line of bullshit."

"You should care, Em. You should put whatever issue you think you have with him aside and really get to know him."

"Just because you've decided he's worth the effort doesn't mean anyone else has to think that way."

"Fine. Continue to be an asshole. But one day you're going to wake up and realize all the time you wasted being pissy to him. I just hope it won't be too late for you to make it up to him."

Emmett narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't you worry about my relationship with Edward. You just focus on your own."

I kept the litany of curse words flowing through my mind inside of my mouth as I slid out the booth. "Right fucking back at you," I said before walking away from him.

My phone started vibrating as I headed for the backdoor and I pulled it out, not even looking at the ID before answering. "What?"

"Is that how you answer your phone all the time?"

"Jake, I'm really not in the fucking mood. What do you want?"

"Who did it? Who do I need to beat the shit out of? I'll grab Jared and Paul and we'll be there in a few hours."

I snorted at his offer. "Don't curse, Jake. You're too young for that shit."

He chuckled into the phone. "You're one to talk."

"Exactly. I speak from experience, kid."

"Don't call me 'kid', jerk face."

"Wow! 'Jerk face'! I didn't even know that one was still making the rounds," I teased, wishing he was here with me so I could get a hug from him.

"So who did it?"

"Don't worry about it. It was just Emmett being Emmett. I think he meant well, but his mouth fucked it all up."

"What about Edward? How's that going?"

"Other than our misunderstanding about Bree, he's been really great."

"So he agrees with Emmett and me?"

"No," I barked into the phone. "He found Bree to be a nice person and we already have plans to have lunch next week with Bree and his boyfriend."

"Why do you encourage that crap, Bella?"

"I encourage my friend, Jacob. Something you should really try. You know what, I'm at work and I really don't have time to fight with you about this. Why did you call?"

"I was wondering if I could come down and go to the game with you guys tonight."

"You want to know if you can be at the party we're throwing after and the answer is no."

"But you went to parties like that at my age."

"And I shouldn't have."

"Isn't it better for me to be under your watchful eye than to be on my own?"

God damn boy making sense. "You get Charlie's permission, drive the speed limit on the way here, and hand me your keys the second you step foot into my apartment," I told him.

"Already have the Chief's permission." He sounded pretty damn smug about it too.

"Don't make me regret this, Jake."

"I won't, Bells. And I promise I'm more interested in seeing you guys than drinking. But I won't turn one down either."

"Yeah, yeah. Just know that I'll be keeping a close eye on your intake and when I cut you off, you are done without any argument."

He chuckled. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Bye, Jake."

"Bye, Bells. See you around three."

"Drive safely," I yelled into the phone. I heard the click of the call ending a little too quickly and doubted he'd heard me.

"Bella."

I turned around and attempted not to glare. "What, Emmett?"

"Look, we're probably never going to agree about the way Edward and I get along, but I don't want that affecting how you and I get along. You're my friend and you mean a lot to me."

"I won't comment on your lack of brotherly love in general, but I won't keep quiet if you pull shit on him in front of me. No more than I would keep quiet if he tried to do that to you."

"Alright. I'll keep my comments to myself around you. Now will you tell me how things are going with him?"

"They're going good, Em. I like him. I like his personality, I like how he treats me, and I like how I feel when I'm with him."

"Good. That's what I was hoping to hear." Emmett smiled and stepped forward, wrapping me up in his massive arms. "I have to take care of my sister from another mother."

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too, you big goof," I said, hugging him back. He might be a giant ass at times, but he was always my friend. The fact that he had come all the way down here just to ask me how things were going showed just how much he cared about me. But I'll still kick his ass whenever he deserves it. I smiled at my thought and hugged my friend just a little tighter.

A felt a warm body behind me seconds before strong arms hugged me tightly and a smooth cheek pressed against mine. Damn, he shaved.

"Oh, Damon," I said in a breathy tone.

"Who's Damon?" Edward asked, his arms tightening around me

I chuckled and smiled as I leaned back into his chest. I'd been pretty sure he wouldn't recognize the name from those vampire diary books Alice and I used to read back in high school, and from his reaction, I knew he hadn't. "Sorry, E. I thought you were my vampire boyfriend come to nibble my neck."

"If you want your neck nibbled, I'd be more than happy to help with that."

Instead of replying, I just took a moment to enjoy being in his arms. I hadn't seen him all day and I'd actually missed having him around. And also, he'd missed the first couple of hours of the party so I'd had to put up with being called "baby" and being recited lame ass pickup lines by at least half the party guests in here. Being in his arms this way was quickly making up for his earlier absence.

But the peace and quiet was short-lived, broken up by Emmett's booming voice filling the air around us. "Ed, we were just getting ready to call and harass your ass to come over."

"I said I was coming after I showered and changed," Edward replied.

"Ed has issues with communal showering," Emmett said while leaning in toward me and jerking a thumb at his brother. "I think he's worried about getting a stiffy and proving he's as fruity as Bree."

I smiled and wiggled a finger at Emmett, drawing his face closer to mine—and within striking distance if necessary. "Em, sweetie, what did I tell you about making comments like that in front of me?"

Emmett jerked his head away and took two big steps backward. "So a Jack and Coke, Bells?"

"Edward, what would you like to drink?" I asked, tilting my head to see his face.

He knew exactly what I was doing and smiled down at me before looking at his brother. "I'll just have a beer, Em."

Emmett grumbled under his breath the entire time, but he got the drinks for us and handed them over nicely before disappearing. He was probably off to tell Rosalie I was being mean to him. Luckily for me, she would know he'd done something to deserve it.

"Thanks for helping with him," Edward said as he put a hand on my knee. I'd decided to get off my feet and sit on the kitchen island and he was standing next to me.

I grinned and toyed with the collar of his shirt. "You should totally reward me for my efforts."

"What do you have in mind?" he asked, his eyes moving between my own and my lips.

I twisted his shirt in my fingers and used it to pull him between my legs. "You haven't given me a kiss yet."

He put both of our drinks to the side and then wrapped his arms around me, sliding me to the edge of the island and right up against his chest. His breath tickled my cheeks as he brought his lips down to mine.

"Woah!" Jake called out.

Why? I screamed in my head. He completely wrecked my fucking moment!

Only he didn't because Edward ignored Jake's presence and pushed his lips against mine with just enough force to let me know it was up to me if he continued the kiss. Like I would turn this man down! I grinned against his lips before parting mine and inviting his tongue in. There was no hesitation on his part and within seconds, I was completely wrapped up in his taste and smell, forgetting all about there being anyone else in the world but the two of us.

By the time Edward dropped his forehead to my shoulder, my fingers were firmly planted in his hair and my legs were wrapped around his waist with ankles crossed.

"Charlie would kill the both of you if he saw that," Jake announced. The idiot was close enough to touch so I reached out with one hand and pressed my palm against his forehead, pushing him away from me.

"What?" he asked while laughing. "I'm just trying to look out for you, Bells."

I looked away from Jacob to see Edward's face. "I'm in good hands. Right, E?"

Edward grinned and nodded before pecking my lips.

"So I finished my second beer," Jake said, showing me the empty bottle. "Can I have another?"

"Yeah, and then you take a break and eat something," I replied.

"You're letting him drink?" Edward asked, looking and sounding shocked.

"It's safer for him to be here under my very watchful eye than off doing it alone," I explained. I'd emphasized "very" for Jake's benefit and he understood too because he gave me a sheepish smile before disappearing with his beer.

"Are you sure about this, Bella?" Edward questioned.

I set my arms on Edward's shoulders and pressed my forehead to his. "I appreciate your concern, but I know what I'm doing. Jake rarely drinks and it's even rarer that he calls to come visit me. When he does, it means he's missing his dad a lot and needs to let it go. Here with me, he's perfectly safe. He's surrounded by people who are watching out for him and I have his keys. He's not going home until tomorrow afternoon when I'm sure he's completely sober and capable of driving. If he were back at home, he'd probably be down at the beach by himself."

"In that case, I'm glad you had him come and I'll help keep an eye on him."

"Thanks, E," I said as I leaned in for another kiss.

A kiss I didn't get because of friggen Rosalie. "Get your asses out of the kitchen and come party with us," she demanded.

"Busted," I sang as I untangled myself from Edward.

He chuckled and helped me down off the counter.

The sight as we entered the living room was completely friggen priceless! Emmett and Jacob were kneeling on opposite sides of the coffee table and arm wrestling.

"Get him, Jake!" I called out.

"Bells!" Emmett barked. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"Jacob is technically more my brother than you are so I have to root for him according to sibling law," I replied.

"Come on, Jake!" Alice encouraged, standing right behind him.

"What the hell?" Emmett yelled. "What about sibling law, Ali?"

Alice giggled and blew her brother a kiss. "She follows Swan sibling law. Cullen sibling law holds no such loyalties."

"No friggen love tonight," Emmett grumbled, bringing his brown eyes back to Jake.

Jacob had a big ass smirk on his face, clearly enjoying himself. It was good to see him genuinely smiling and I was glad Charlie had given him permission to visit. My dad hadn't been the most observant parent with me, but he always seemed to know when Jake needed a break and would give him permission to come spend time with me.

"You look like a proud parent right now," Rose said as she sidled up next to me.

I nodded while keeping my eyes on Jake. "Somebody has to make sure he follows the straight and narrow as much as possible."

"Is he really okay, though? I can't remember the last time he felt the need to drive five and a half hours just to see us."

"His dad's birthday is tomorrow. I'd hoped he'd be okay with it this year, but apparently not. I figure we'll let him enjoy himself tonight and then we'll get him to talk tomorrow."

Rose nodded and then she looked over my head at Edward. "You were looking pretty good out there on the field tonight, Edward. Any regrets that you didn't play instead of just wrap up the players?"

I looked up at him, curious to hear his answer.

He shook his head and gave a smile I hadn't seen before. "I'm much more beneficial to the team making sure the guys are able to keep playing."

"Hey, what's that look for?" I asked, reaching up and tracing his lower lip with my finger.

"Nothing," he said, kissing the tip of my finger before pulling it away.

"Are you just being polite?" I asked him. "Is it that you would've preferred to play baseball instead of football?"

He smiled down at me and slipped an arm around my waist, drawing me against his side. "I'm happy just being a trainer."

Alice's squeal interrupted our conversation. "Go, Jake!"

We all turned our heads to see Jake had the upper hand in the arm wrestling. Emmett looked around to see who was watching and then allowed a devilish smirk to appear on his face. I knew exactly what was coming and I started thinking up ways to get back at Emmett for the shit he was pulling on poor Jake.

"You're not half bad," Emmett said, looking at Jake once again. "But you're not better than me yet, either." With that, Emmett slammed Jake's hand to the table.

Jacob winced and rubbed at his hand while Alice patted him on the back and rambled on about how great he'd been doing right up until the end.

Emmett was leaning against the sofa and looking completely friggen pleased with himself; it was definitely time to knock his ass down a peg. I turned and rushed back into the kitchen, grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and four shot glasses, shoved a water bottle into the back pocket of my jeans, and headed back into the living room. Two things I'd learned about Emmett during our many years of friendship … One, the man could not pass up a challenge. Two, he couldn't hold his JD for shit after the first ten shots. But I could.

"I've got a new competition for you, Em," I said, shaking the bottle a little and getting his eyes to zero right in on it.

"Oh, hell yes!" he cried, pumping a fist in the air. "You are going down this time, Swan."

"If it makes you feel better to believe that," I said as I folded myself onto the floor across from him. "Who else wants in?"

Jasper immediately left Alice's side and knelt at the end of the table. Jacob positioned himself at the other end, but a glare and head shake from me had him getting up and moving to stand next to Edward.

"Anyone else?" I asked while filling three of the glasses.

"What the hell?" Rose said as she hiked her skirt up a little and joined us on the floor.

"What's the game?" Jasper questioned as I slid his shot toward him.

"I'll give you guys two choices to vote on. We can play Viking or we can play Bouncing Ball," I answered.

"Viking," Emmett yelled out.

"You're only saying that because you like the name of the game," Rose said with an eye-roll. "You never win at it."

"I vote Bouncing Ball," Jasper announced.

"Bouncing Ball," Rose agreed.

"Which makes me the tie-breaker and I also vote Bouncing Ball," I happily informed a pouting Emmett. "The words for tonight are Farfegnugen, Bounce, and Bang. Farfegnugen will pass the ball to the next player, Bounce will skip over one player, and Bang will hit the wall and go one player in the opposite direction. Whoever has the ball takes a shot before sending it on to the next person. You can only say each word two times before having to switch to another and all three words must be used. If you forget to change your word or mispronounce it, you have to take another shot before you can pass the ball."

"Bells, come on," Emmett whined. "You know I'm going to fuck up that damn Farfeg-whatever word long before I'm even buzzed."

I smiled wide at him. "Why do you think I picked it?"

Once our audience stopped laughing at Emmett's look of shock, we were ready to start the game.

"Rose, you lead off," I told her.

She smiled and rubbed her hands together, looking around the table at us to pick her first victim. I kept waiting for Emmett to toss a hand in the air and start yelling "pick me" like Donkey from Shrek.

Rose parted her lips as she looked right at me. But at the last second, she cut her blue eyes over to Emmett. "Farfegnugen, Baby."

Emmett chuckled as he lifted his glass up. "To the end of our football careers," he called out. "We're hanging up our jockstraps and getting off the green to slap on ties and sit in boardrooms. We are trading hard hitting football in stadiums for weekend games in backyards. And we're doing it all in the name of adulthood. May God have mercy on our souls and provide us with cash-filled wallets to soften the blow."

A round of cheers and claps accompanied Emmett's glass up to his lips. He smiled and tilted his glass in thanks before downing the liquid.

"Hot damn!" he exclaimed as he set the empty glass down on the coffee table. "That's some good shit right there."

I chuckled and nodded in agreement as I refilled his glass.

Emmett looked right at me with his lips pulled up in a smirk. "Bounce, Bells."

I smirked right back and lifted my shot up, keeping my eyes on Emmett over the rim. His smile widened, like he thought I was going to chicken out of the shot or some shit. I let my own smile widen, secured my lips on the rim of the shot glass, and tilted my head and the glass back together, sending the liquid racing down my throat.

I was still smiling when I set the glass on the table. "I'm ready for another. How about you, Em?"

He only snorted and pointed at the bottle, signaling for me to refill my glass.

Rose bowed out after her fifth shot.

Jasper lasted a good twenty minutes into the game before he moved away from the table. You could see in his face he was feeling damn good, but he'd stopped himself before getting really drunk. He knew his limits as well as I knew my own.

Emmett had no fucking clue what his limits were. The big galoot was on shot fifteen and starting to get a little too belligerent for my tastes. He'd gotten it into his head that having one more person in the competition would somehow keep me from winning. He'd also decided Edward had to be that person.

"Em, shut the fuck up and take your damn shot," I told him.

"No. Not until Ed joins us. Sit right here," he said, patting the floor next to him.

"No late starters," I argued. "We'll both lose that way."

"Rather lose to Ed than you again," Emmett slurred. "Come on, you big chicken shit," he said, looking up at Edward. "Sit and drink like a fucking man."

"Emmett," I warned.

"It's fine," Edward said as he sat down next to me. "I'll play a few rounds."

"E, you don't have to give in to Emmett's bullying," I whispered.

"I'm not. I'm shutting him up so you can finish him off."

"Stop the plotting over there," Emmett demanded. "Let's play this game, bitches."

I shook my head as I filled a shot glass for Edward and passed it over to him. I could only hope he knew what he was doing. He'd already told me he didn't drink often and going from hardly drinking to shooting JD was a quick way to get fucked up and earn a massive hangover; I would just have to trust him to know what he was doing.

And if he did end up shitfaced, I'd have to make sure he stayed over and stayed safe. The thought of another night of Edward in my bed significantly helped to ease my discomfort about his playing.

"Bounce, you fuck," Emmett said, staring hard at Edward.

"No bounce until you take your shot," I reminded him. "And no cursing at Edward or I end the game here and now victorious since I'm not slurring words."

Emmett made a face but didn't say anything more before taking his shot. "Bounce," he said as he slammed his shot glass to the table.

Edward took in a breath while lifting his glass to his lips.

"Just tilt the glass and your head back and get it all done in one gulp," I told him.

He nodded and did as I'd instructed, wincing once he was done and wiping the excess from his lips with the back of his hand.

Emmett burst out in loud laughter. "Fuck yeah!"

Edward grinned a little and looked at his brother. "Farfegnugen, Em."

Emmett never took his eyes from Edward while grabbing his shot and bringing it up to his lips. He quickly downed the liquid and set his glass back onto the table. "Farfernuren," he slurred out, swinging his head my way.

"You said it wrong," I informed him while refilling his glass. "Take another big boy."

From that point on, Edward and I did all we could to stack things against Emmett. He was so far gone that it hardly took any work at all and within ten minutes, the game was over and I had been declared winner. Unfortunately, ten minutes was a lot for Edward when he wasn't used to drinking.

"No, no," he said, shaking his head and grabbing my shoulders to steady himself. "Driving is like … is like what I do. I can make to my dorm like that." He'd attempted to snap his fingers while saying "that", but was drunk enough that he screwed it up.

I chuckled and leaned up on my tip-toes to pat his delusion-filled head. "Sure you can, E. As soon as you walk a straight line down the hall and into my bedroom." He was so focused on the hand touching his head that he completely missed the one in his pocket stealing his keys.

"Straight line. Did you know that's the shortest point between two distances?" he asked.

I managed not to laugh again and stepped to the side, giving him a clear path into the hallway. "Straight to my room, E."

He nodded for a second before getting a confused look on his face. "Then what?"

"Wait in there for me," I told him, giving his ass a little slap to get him moving.

Alice and Rose were suddenly flanking me and giggling as we watched Edward stumble down the hall and into my room. "He's fucking hilarious drunk," Rose said through her giggles. "Did you hear him explaining to Emmett why Bella is a superhero?"

"Yeah," I said with a snort. "I also caught the part about how my tat over my heart isn't a peace symbol at all, but the mark of my super secret hero organization."

"The mind of a drunk man can often be a scary place," Rose replied.

"I'm glad he had fun, but he's going to be hurting so bad in the morning," Alice said with a sad smile.

"I'll make sure he drinks a couple glasses of water and takes some aspirin before he goes to sleep," I promised her.

She nodded and then we turned toward the living room, taking in a view of the mess left behind. With mutual sighs, we headed into the kitchen to get garbage bags and start cleaning up.

A half hour later, I set the last full garbage down on the kitchen floor. "We are officially cleaned up," I announced.

"How is there always so much trash when the party's over?" Alice asked.

Rose snorted. "Because you invite so many people."

"True," Alice agreed. "Well, I'm going to head to bed and make sure Jazz took his usual hangover avoidance measures."

"Yeah, I guess I'll turn in too," Rose said. "Emmett might not be feeling any pain right now, but he damn sure will in the morning. Kudos on another ass kicking, Bells."

I smiled and blew on my nails. "All in a night's work."

"I still can't believe you drank both Emmett and Edward under the table," Alice said with a giggle. "I wonder which will be bruised worse in the morning … their heads or their pride."

"Aren't you going to bed?" Rose asked when I made no move toward the hallway with them.

"I'm going to make sure everything's locked up and put away first." When they continued to stand at the edge of the kitchen and look at me, I amended my statement. "And check on Jake."

My girls nodded in understanding and smiled for me. "Let us know if he needs anything," Alice said.

Once they had disappeared into their rooms, I did check the locks on the door and made a quick sweep of the living room and kitchen to be sure we'd gotten all of the mess up. I turned out all of the lights except for one small lamp in the living room and then perched myself on the coffee table.

Jake was stretched out across the sofa with one arm under his head and one dangling to the floor. I picked up the dangling arm and tucked it under the throw blanket covering his chest. The boy was so damn long that we'd had to use a second throw to cover him from his waist to his feet.

Jake must have felt me moving his arm because he shifted his body and opened his eyes. "Hey, Bells," he croaked out.

"Hey, yourself. Did you enjoy the party?"

He grinned and looked so much closer to thirteen than eighteen. "I can't believe you won a drinking game against Emmett."

I chuckled and reached out to ruffle his dark hair. "I have many special powers you don't know about."

He pushed my hand away from his head but was still grinning. "I like hanging out with you and your friends. You give each other grief, but you can still see how much you care for each other."

"We care for you too, you know. So why don't you tell me why you really came to visit?"

Jake moved around until he was sitting up against the arm of the sofa with his head lying against the back. I moved off the table and sat beside his legs, taking his big hand into my smaller ones.

"Come on, Jake. Talk to me."

He lifted his eyes to meet mine and the pain etched in his face nearly brought me to tears. "When does it end, Bells? When I do stop missing him and being angry at him for not being here? And why do I miss him one second and get mad at him the next?"

"You miss your dad because of how much you loved him. But you're not really angry at him and you know that. You're angry that he was taken away from you without your consent and without any warning."

"I want it to stop."

I nodded in understanding and let his hand go so I could wrap my arms around him in a hug. "I'm sorry, Jake. I'm sorry you lost your dad long before you were ready. And I'm sorry to have to tell you that it never stops. The pain just becomes manageable as the years pass. The best thing you can do is to talk about him and talk about how you feel without him with someone you trust. There's no pill or drink out there that will help, and any that do only do so short term before causing you bigger problems."

He pulled away from my hug and looked at me for a long time before speaking. "You know from experience, don't you?"

I nodded.

"How did you really get that scar on the back of your calf, Bells?"

I shrugged, not feeling he was old enough or in the right frame of mind for that particular back story to my life. "I thought I'd found the answer to my problems, but all I'd really done was create an even bigger problem. I didn't have anyone to stop me from being a ginormous friggen idiot. But you do, Jake. I'm here for you, no matter what, so be damn sure you take advantage."

He nodded his head and squeezed my hand.

Seeing that his defenses were down and he was open to suggestions, I made one more. "There's another person who understands loss and pain, and would be very happy to speak with you and help you out."

Jake sighed. "Embry."

"I could invite him over for lunch tomorrow. A nice neutral, private place for the two of you to talk."

"I'll sleep on it, Bells." Jake scooted down on the sofa, pulled the blanket to his chin, and closed his eyes.

I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "If you're really ready to move past things, then you've got to let go of the anger, Jake. It's doing more damage to you than anyone you might be mad at. You have people who love you and want to help, so don't be a stubborn ass and pass that up. If I can get my shit straight, so can you."

He didn't say anything in response and I didn't see any point in pushing him so I headed off to my own room. I opened the door, expecting to see Edward in my bed, but it was still made up and empty like when I'd left for work this morning.

I closed the door and headed for my bathroom, knowing that was the only logical place he could be. There was no way he would have been able to sneak past us while we cleaned up with as much as he'd been stumbling after our little game.

I found him in the bathroom as expected. What I hadn't expected was to end up on the floor laughing my ass off at him. I wasn't sure what his intention had been in coming into the bathroom, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why he would be lying on the floor with his shirt halfway unbuttoned and his hand in the waistband of his jeans.

"What the hell are you doing, E?" I asked once I stopped laughing.

"I can't remember," he admitted.

I grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet. "Were you maybe coming in here to piss out some of the JD you drank?"

He scratched his head, looking so drunk, confused, and cute all at the same time. "I don't know."

"Come on, my very drunk boyfriend," I said as I pulled him out of the bathroom and over to my bed. I helped him out of his shirt, got his pants down to his knees, and then made him sit on the bed so I could get his shoes off. With very little help from him, I finally got him down to just his boxer briefs and under the covers.

I went back into the bathroom for a few aspirin and a glass of water. Edward was almost asleep when I got back to the bed, but I managed to convince him it was in his best interest to stay awake long enough to take the pills and water. He'd probably still have a throbbing head in the morning, but at least it wouldn't be at full power.

After taking care of my own necessities and changing into something comfortable to sleep in, I crawled into bed and snuggled up to Edward, putting his arm over my waist since he was too deep into his drunken slumber to do it himself. It wasn't long before his steady breathing lulled me to sleep.

A very deep and painful sounding groan pulled me out of my sleep. My eyes popped open and looked right into Edward's scrunched up face. The sun wasn't up yet but I could make out his features from the sliver of light spilling out of my bathroom. I'd figured it was best to leave the light on in case he needed to piss or puke in the night.

My fingers reached out and tried to smooth the lines in his forehead. "Relax, E. You'll make it worse by tensing up."

"Why aren't you in severe pain like me?" he mumbled.

"I'm not a lightweight drinker."

"You're a superhuman drinker is what you are. You drank Emmett under the table."

"Emmett has no tolerance for Jack Daniels. And apparently, neither do you." I really did try not to laugh, but a few chuckles escaped anyway.

"Tell me, oh Alcohol Guru, how do you stop the drum solo in your head when you're hung-over?"

"Slow movements and dark glasses. And also, lots of water and rest."

"Would you please, please get me something for the pain? I'll pay you."

I chuckled and softly kissed his temple. "I got my payment last night when you stripped for me. Or at least you attempted to until you fell face first into my bed and started snoring."

"Please tell me that's a torturous made-up story."

"Sorry, E," I said as I pressed a kiss to his cheek. "It's so going to be part of your True Hollywood Story when you get rich and famous for something."

"What makes you think I'll be rich and famous?"

"There is just no way a man as talented and intelligent as you are won't end up rich and famous for something."

"While we wait for that to happen, can you please fix my head?"

I chuckled softly and kissed his cheek. "Stay still and try to keep your body relaxed while I'm gone."

"I don't think I could move if I wanted," he mumbled.

I was careful not to jostle the bed too much while I got out of it and figured I must have done a good job when no groans came from Edward. I snuck into the kitchen and filled a glass with Gatorade for Edward. I also fixed a glass of regular water and took both into my room. I set the glasses on the nightstand next to Edward and went into the bathroom to grab his some aspirin.

When I came out, Edward was sitting up in the bed and sipping at the glass of Gatorade. "Here," I said, holding my palm out with the two aspirin sitting on it.

He gave a small smile and took them one at a time, swallowing them down with his drink. "I'm pretty sure last night was the first and last time I'll do shots of Jack Daniels."

"I think that's probably a really good idea," I said, keeping my voice low. Poor boy had to have both light and sound sensitivity this morning.

We didn't really say anything while Edward drank both glasses, but he held my hand the entire time, rubbing his thumb back and forth across the top of it. Just that small gesture was letting me know how grateful he was to have me around right now and how much he appreciated my attempt to make him feel better.

Once he finished with his beverages, I helped him scoot down and get comfortable in the bed again. I even stayed awake and rubbed his temples until he fell asleep. I'd watched Alice and Rose care for Jasper and Emmett a few times over the years, but I'd never taken care of anyone my own self. It was kind of nice to be needed, though I doubted I would have been this okay with it if there had been puke. Bella Swan is anti-puke!

It was almost noon before I woke again. Edward was still out cold so I made sure I was quiet while I moved around my room and bathroom. Once I was freshly showered and dressed, I headed out to see who else was awake.

Rose and Alice were already in the kitchen; the two of them were standing in front of the coffee pot and seemed to be willing it to move faster. I chuckled at them so they flipped me off.

"Oh, come on," I said, grinning at them. "How often is it that I wake up to find you two jonesing for caffeine?"

"She has a small point," Alice grumbled.

"How is it that you drank more than both of us combined and you look more refreshed?" Rose asked.

"Experience," I said with a shrug. "Plus, I drank water between the shots to stay hydrated. So how are your other halves fairing?"

"Jasper's actually doing really well. No light sensitivity and only a little to sound," Alice answered.

"Emmett is in full on whiny mode and actually asked me to breathe quieter," Rose replied.

"Edward woke up hours ago begging for help and relief, so I gave him some aspirin and had him rehydrate himself. Oh, and if he asks either of you, he attempted to strip for me last night before passing out."

Rose and Alice both giggled. "What did he really do?" Rose questioned.

"He can't remember why he went into my bathroom, but when I found him, he was on the floor with his shirt halfway unbuttoned and his hand in his pants," I told them.

"Please tell me you took a blackmail picture of that shit," Rose said.

"If you did, I don't want to see it," Alice quickly threw in.

"No picture," I assured them. "I just decided to tease him a little and make him think he did something far more interesting."

"Morning, Ladies," Jake greeted with a smile as he swaggered into the room. "Bells, you don't even look like you drank last night."

"That's because my shots were really tea," I said with a perfectly straight face.

Jake's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out, sending us into a fit of laughter.

"She's just yanking your chain," Rose said through her laughter while pinching Jake's cheek.

He rolled his eyes at us and mumbled something we didn't catch.

"So did you think about lunch?" I asked him.

He nodded and looked down at his feet, shuffling them on the floor. "Yeah, set it up, I guess."

"Set what up?" Alice asked with an eager look in her green eyes. The woman had a total Pavlovian response to the words "set it up", "party", and "shopping".

"Bree's going to join us for lunch," I answered.

"Jakey!" Alice squealed as she launched herself at him and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. "I'm so proud of you."

"Get off," he barked while trying to disengage her body from his. "It's not a big deal."

I stepped in and pried her off. "He's right, Ali. It's just a bunch of friends sitting down to lunch and it's not a big deal."

"We have to get the boys up and dressed so they can join us," Alice said in that excited tone of hers.

"Actually, I think it would be best if we left the boys out," I told her.

"I agree," Rose said. "Subjecting Bree to a whiny Emmett isn't in anyone's best interest."

"Then we should probably have lunch at Bree's place," Alice suggested.

"So I'll call Bree and let him know to expect the four of us," I said, keeping an eye on Jake's face. His neutral expression didn't change, but he did nod his head in agreement. Maybe—just maybe—he could leave Portland with Embry as his friend again.

A/N: Thanks to Hellopants for this chapter's music! And as always, a great big thanks to Eternally Addicted for coming along for the ride and being a superb partner in crime. She also supplied the pic of Drunken Edward that's up on the Worth the Burn page of my website.