Isaac

Three Days Later:

I sat in the same suit that I wore to Hazel and Gus' funeral, but this time I sat with my girlfriend gently stroking her knuckles in my thumb. It was a relatively cold day and Cassie's hand was freezing, it was like she was numb for she hadn't said anything since the funeral started. I knew that I should've been listening to the Reverend to be respectful but my mind was too consumed with Cassie and her coldness to listen.

"And now we will hear from Amber's sister, Cassie." The Reverend calmly spoke.

That snapped me to attention and before she let go of my mind I squeezed it tight for reassurance, and she squeezed back. It was a few moments before Cassie began to speak.

"Ambers eyes were blue."

She began, with no fear or sadness in her voice.

"I have heard that the eyes are the windows to your soul. The ocean is blue. The sky is blue. They are both two vast and glorious and are the biggest things that we as humans have in this world. They are perfect examples of her large personality, even in neither her darkest days her stubbornness never ceased nor her kind nature. Only a few people can really experience the sky and sea for all of its beauty and I am glad as her sister and her best friend to really experience Amber for the fantastic person she really was. I am going to miss her with my entire soul."

That speech was beautiful and mesmerising and I heard muffled sobs and crying from the people around me. I imagined everyone who attended was crying, for I was too and had already done this twice. That was when I knew that I had to tell her.

When it was time to leave I stood up, pulled out my walking stick and waited for Cassie to come to me. I flinched when she silently wrapped her shaking arms around my chest, I held in a sad sigh and just stroked her hair. We stayed standing by Amber's grave for a few more moments until I delicately pulled away.

"Cassie," I said quietly, taking her hand in mine. "Can we talk? I need to tell you something."

"Of course Isaac."

She said meekly squeezing my hand, I couldn't help but give a sad smile. We stayed silent for a couple of steps as we walked to her car.

"What do you want to talk about Isaac?" I took a deep breath.

"You know the book I gave you last Wednesday?"

"Following Adversity?"

"Yes, well that book wasn't originally mine." I sighed. "It was for a girl named Hazel, and she had a boyfriend named Gus-"
"Wait."

Suddenly her hand went slack in mine and I started to panic.

"Is this the same Hazel and Gus from the list in Support Group?" I could hear the shock and confusion in her voice and instead of replying I grabbed her hand.

"Please. Just hear me out." I told her every detail, from their illnesses to their trip to Amsterdam and even about Monica. As I expected she didn't take that very well.

We were standing by her car on the sidewalk for another five minutes until I finished the entire story. Cassie was left speechless, which wasn't a good sign.

"Did that really happen Isaac? All of it, really?"

"Real-"

"No don't do that!" Cassie blurted out pulling her hand away from mine, now I was the silent one.

"So what am I just a replacement for 'always'? Am I just another Monica?"

"No, no, no." I pleaded cupping her hands in mine. "You are astronomically better than Monica ever was. And to be honest at first I only dated her because she was hot but-"

"Are you saying I'm not hot?" Cassie took her hands away again. "It's my acne isn't it?"

"No!" I said pulling my hand through my blonde hair.

Why can't Gus be here to help?

"I started dating you because of your personality, Cassie. Monica was hot and that was it! You're beautiful, funny, kind and every other positive adjective there is."

Silence.

"Please just believe me." I pleaded once more.

Another silence.

Cassie sighed and meekly took my limp hand again.

"Look Isaac, with my sister and all this information you're giving me, it's too much and I think that I just need to detach from the world for a while and just be with my family right now. I'll call you when I'm ready, okay?"

"Okay." I sighed, waiting for her to let go but she didn't.

Instead she kissed me.

It was a slow kiss and I could taste that anguish on her, I bunched my fists in her hair whilst she held onto my shoulders and after it was over I held her face in my heads and stood with our foreheads pressed together.

Now or never.

"I love you Cassie."

There was a moment of pause.

"I love you too Isaac."

She broke apart and gently kissed me on the cheek. I heard Cassie get in the car and slowly drive away. I clutched onto the hollow ache over my chest and nearly doubled over. I felt it with Monica but this time it was more intense and I felt like running after her, for she was the one to keep me full. But I couldn't. I had to let her go.

For now.