I own nothing! All characters belong to GRR Martin
Hello again my friends! I wasn't supposed to be writing because this is the IB exams week, which means a lot of studying! But I can't help it :D
I hope you are happy with me. Gregor Clegane died burned alive! Yay! And now Sansa is going to the Wall. But what will happen?! Will I be mean? Again? *Evil laugh* Let's find out ;)
Btw, I wrote this thing at 3 am, I had been four days studying Psychology, and I had food poisoning, so with all that I don't know how it will have turned out. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!
Sandor had snow covering him practically up to his waist, and he was finding it almost impossible to advance forward. He had been separated from the rest of his companions, the snowstorm and the wind had carried them in different directions. Sandor had tried to find Sam, following his shouts of help, but he had the feeling that he had been walking in circles for several minutes. Now he was lost and alone in the middle of god-knows-where in the lands beyond the Wall. Sandor had spent seven months in that fucking place, almost as many as he had spent at the Wall; he knew partially well that place after so much time, but everything looked the same covered by the fucking snow.
-Seven bloody hells!- he managed to yell, cursing the snowstorm, cursing Lord Mormont for making them stay in that place, and cursing Jon Snow for being lost. If they weren't looking for Jon, Sandor would have already deserted the Night's Watch and gone looking for a safe place to live in. He didn't have any reasons for which to live or fight for, because his little bird was dead. His little bird was dead, and so was his heart and all that was good of him. But he had stayed and he kept fighting to find Jon. He was the little bird's brother, she would have wanted him to be safe. Sandor would find and keep him safe, for Sansa.
However, it would be a miracle if he managed to find Jon after such a long time lost in such a place.
-If you are dead, you little bastard, I'll bring you back from the dead and choke you with your own guts!- he shouted to no one in particular, for he was alone in that place. Or at least, that's what he believed.
He blinked several times when he thought he saw something. There, in the distance... Something like fire...
There it was again! Something as red as the flames that he feared so much. Sandor narrowed his eyes, trying to see better. It couldn't be fire, it didn't have it's bright light... Then he saw what it was.
Hair. Long red hair. Images of his little bird immediately flooded his mind.
-Sansa!
Maybe he was dead, at the other side, and he didn't know it yet? Maybe the cold had finally finished him off, and he was reuniting with his little bird... That fucking frozen hell wouldn't be to bad with her at his side, her simple presence warmed him.
-Sansa!- he shouted again into the night. The wind carried away his words, and the person with the red hair ran away. Sandor panicked.- No, wait! Wait!
Using his remaining strenght, Sandor opened himself a path in the snow, getting closer to the place where the person with the red hair had been. With every step that he took, Sandor freezes even more. He couldn't feel his legs, feet or toes. He was pretty sure that his balls had turned into ice rocks.
The person with the red hair was having a hard time walking through the snow too, and Sandor was much bigger and stronger, his steps were longer. Soon he caught up with the girl, and turned her by grabbing
her shoulders.
-Sansa- he rasped, but his words then died in his mouth when he saw that it wasn't Sansa. This girl was older, and uglier. A wildling.
Sandor felt a strong rage building up inside of him; he felt furios at himself for believing even for one second that the gods would be merciful enought to kill him and reunite him with his love.- Who the fuck are you?
-Who the fuck are you, crow?- she spat back. She didn't look scared at
all.
-I'm not a crow- Sandor hissed.- I'm a dog.
He was about to pull out his dagger to slit open the girl's throat when a known voice stopped him.
-Sandor, don't!
-Jon?!
The Stark bastard appeared running behind the wildling girl, dressed in skins rather than with the black cloak of the Watch, and he seemed worried. Sandor couldn't help to get even angrier upon seeing him there, safe and sound, protecting a wilding whore.
-You fucking bastard- he barked at the boy.- We've been freezing our arses here for months looking for you, some of the men for for almost a year, and you were here playing to be the happy wildling fucker!
-Sandor...
-I should fucking kill you right now- Sandor was really angry.
-Do that, and you'll regret it- the wildling reahead girl hissed.
Sandor laughed.
-This one bites, doesn't she? Who are you, the little bastard wolf's bitch?
He hadn't noticed before that the girl had a spear. It was made only with a long stick and a sharpened stone, but still, it was able to cut through flesh. The girl tried to hit Sandor with the spear, but he managed to grab it with one hand and take it away from the girl.
-Ygritte, stop it, he's a friend- Jon said. He had to shout in order to be heard over the wind, which was getting stronger.- We have to go! Come with us!
He turned around and started walking, taking Ygritte by the hand. Sandor followe them. They reached a cave; the entrance was partially blocked by the snow, but they were able to get past it. Inside, the cave was empty and warmer. Sandor fell of the floor, tired, shivering and breathless. He felt as if ice daggers were piercing his lungs.
-Fuck, I could use some wine right now- he managed to rasp.
-There's no wine- Jon say, sitting down on the rock floor. The wildling, Ygritte, sat down beside him and Jon put an arm around her.- What are you doing here? You said they have been looking for me?
-Aye, we all have for months- Sandor was still in a bad mood, but he was trying to control it.- Now, are you going to tell me what the fuck have you been doing all this time?
Jon, sighted, and he shot a worried glance at Ygritte. Sandor understood what that meant. He would have to ask again later.
-I didn't want to be with the Watch anymore- Jon lied. It was a somewhat convincing lie, but Sandor knew better.-I found a new home here.
-Huh- Sandor muttered, and he looked down, not saying anything else. He could feel Ygritte's eyes fixed on him.
-You were calling a name when you were running after me- she then said, making him look up again.- Sansa. Who is she, some woman crow?
Jon's expression got darker.
-My sister- he said, and Ygritte looked surprised. Maybe she didn't know much about the life of the young man that was at her side.- Have you had any news of her.
A dark feeling took over Sandor. He remembered Lord Mormont's words when he received the letter.
"Clegane Keep burned to the ground. Your brother and his wife were burned alive."
Jon must have noticed Sandor's sudden expression full of pain, because when he spoke again his voice sounded different. Scared.
-Sandor?
-Your pretty sister is dead- Sandor said.- they married her to my brother. His keep burned, nobody knows why. And they both burned inside.
A long, uncomfortable silence followed. Sandor stared back at the rock floor, while the only sound that could be heard was the fierce wind outside of the cave. When Jon finally spoke, it was with a voice full of hurt and disbelief, broken.
-What?
-Your brother is dead too- Sandor said without even thinking.- Robb. The Lannisters killed him.
-You are lying!
-Am I?
-You son of a bitch!- Jon wanted to throw himself at Sandor and beat him for bringing him those horrible news, but this time it was Ygritte who stopped him. She pinned him to the floor while Jon struggled and cried, she tried to calm him and then she hugged him awkwardly, like if it was something that she was not used to doing, but Jon held her tighly and cried. He cried like a newborn baby for a long time, muttering thing about Sansa and Robb, and his father too, and about traitors and lions and revenge and blood. And he kept crying.
Sandor hadn't cried when he had heard the news about his little bird. He had refused to believe those news. The White Walkers had come right after, and he didn't have time to think, only to kill. After that he had waited for days for another raven to arrive from the South, saying that there had been a mistake, that Clegane Keep hadn't burned. Or that it had indeed, but that only Gregor was dead. Maybe it was all a cruel joke that Joffrey had planned to amuse himself, thinking that it would be funny to torment his former servant and dog. Yes, he would find it very amusing indeed. Sandor didn't want anything more than to ride to King's Landing and cut the little golden bastard in two.
Jon fell asleep in Ygritte's arms. Sandor didn't want to sleep. He knew he would have nightmares again, of a beautiful bird with blue eyes traped in a cage on top of a mountain, unable to escape from that cage as the flames engulfed the mountain and eventually, also the cage and the pretty bird. Ygritte looked at him for a very long time, studying and evaluating him. She didn't seem to mind at all the burns on his face, but she found th interesting instead.
-You knew his siblings- it wasn't a question.
-His sister- Sandor rasped.- I only saw his brother a couple of times. Bloody idiot always seemed to have a stubborn head. No wonder he got himself killed...
-But you knew his sister very well. You sounded desperate when you called me by her name.
-I should have known it wasn't you. Your hair is red; her's was auburn.
-You liked her- again, it wasn't a question. Ygritte seemed very smart, and she was learning quickly how to read Sandor as if he was an open book.
-I loved her- Sandor corrected her.- I still do, even if I lost her forever.
-Tell me about her, I want to know.
-Why don't you fucking shut up and go to sleep girl? Leave me alone- he barked, annoyed. He didn't want to talk about the little bird, it hurt too much. Ygritte didn't seem to care at all.
-I don't want to shut up, or go to sleep. Jon and I could leave you alone here and you will die, freeze to death.
-Fine. You would do me a bloody favor.
-Coward.
That word hit Sandor like and axe on the head.
-I am not a coward.
-Then prove it! Tell me about her. About Sansa.
Sandor cursed under his breath. He knew that the girl wouldn't leave him alone until he had said something.
-I met her when I scorted the King to Winterfell, her home. She was the prettiest girl in the whole realm, and soon enough she became the most beautiful woman in the entire fucking world. I thought she was stupid, believing in tales of knights and fair maidens. The world is built by killers, I tried to teach her that. I wanted her to be strong, but I never realized how fucking strong she really was. And she was pure. She was perfect, a much better person than all those fuckers there in court. I didn't deserve her!- Sandor exclaimed, unaware that he was raising his voice, almost shouting, but Ygritte kept still, listening to his words.- And the King didn't fucking deserve her. I wanted to kill them, kill them all for what they were doing to her, but I was no better! I didn't stop them from hurting her, from beating her bloody, but she chose me anyways. She was to be the Queen, but she said she loved me. And I fucked her. I fucked her and I put her in danger. I should have known that we would get caught! And we did, and now I'm here, and she's dead.
He was shaking. That anger he felt inside of him right then... it was even stronger that the anger he had felt all those years towards Gregor for burning his face and turning him into what he was, destroying his dreams.
-They gave her to the man that destroyed my life- he kept saying, this time in a lower voice, almost whispering.- The man that killed my father, killed my sister... The man that did this to me- he said, pointing at his burned face.- They gave her to my brother. If I had known first, I would have told the Night's Watch to go fuck themselves with a hot poker, and I would have gone back to save her! I wouldn't have left her to die with that monster...
Wine. He needed wine. He hadn't had any in months, but he needed it right now. He felt as if an invisible hand had closed around his throat, choking him. It was his own fucking fury, he was drowning in it. A storm of memories of Sansa attacked Sandor's mind, memories of all kinds, good and bad. Memories that hurt him. He laughed like a madman.
-She was a sweet, pure, innocent, delicate little bird, singing beautiful songs. She sang a song for me, you know? I wasn't good with her that day, no. There was fire everywhere, that fucking dwarf had set the Blackwater on fire- he didn't care if Ygritte wasn't understanding half of what he said, he needed to get it out of himself.- I threatened her with a knife to get the bloody song, but she didn't care afterwards... She admitted she loved me. It all seems like a fucking joke. I'm a killer, a dog, I never did anything to deserve someone like her... I should have taken care of her, but I destroyed her life instead.
Ygritte never took her eyes off him, but she also didn't say anything. She knew men like Sandor, they didn't appreciate the courtesies, and what else could she say at that moment apart from "I'm sorry"? What he needed was to rest and be alone, and think for a while, maybe. He needed to kill the demons inside of him, and he had many.
He didn't notice it when sleep took over him. For once, he didn't have any nightmares, and he was glad that he could just forget everything for a little while. However, it all came back to him when he woke up: all the pain, the loss, the hate, the sorrow.
Jon was awake too, he was the one that had woken Sandor up. The young man's eyes were still a bit red, but dry already. He had mourned for his siblings, but now it was time to go. Without a single word, Sandor stood up on his feet and followed Jon and Ygritte outside the cave. The wildling girl had already taken care of removing the snow from the cave's entrance, so it was easy to get out of it. It wasn't a nice day: the skies were grey and full of black clouds, the sun wasn't shining, and all they could see from miles around was snow. Nothing else.
-We have a long way back- Jon snorted, and then he looked at Sandor, whose eyes were set on the white horizon.- Are you coming with us? Or are you goin to go back to the Wall?
Sandor thought about it. They were close to the Wall, it wouldn't take long to reach it, and then he could cross to the other side and get away from that frozen hell. But there was nothing waiting for him in the Wall; the only reason he had stayed there in the first place was because he wanted to keep the little bird safe, and now she wa gone. What good would it be for him to go back there, really? The best thing that he could do was desert the Night's Watch and go live with Jon, Ygritte, and the other wildlings, with no lords and no laws.
He was about to give his answer when another bloody snowstorm started. It wasn't strong yet, but the temperature dropped suddenly and Ygrotte gasped, looking back. She looked scared.
-White Walkers- she whispered.- They are coming.
Neither Sandor nor Jon asked her how she knew that; they had been running away from those creature for months, and neither one of them wanted to stay to make sure if Ygritte's words were true or not. They started running, heading to the safest place nearby: the Wall.
Sandor cursed under his breath. He was tired of all that shit, the cold, the snow, the Others... He didn't care about dying, but he certainly didn't want to die just to become a walking corpse. If he died, and there was an "other side" he wanted to be reunited with his little bird, not get stuck in that freezing he'll for eternity.
They could see the Wall ahead of them; it was still afar. And when Sandor turned his hea to look back, he saw them. The White Walkers, hundreds of them, walking towards them. They were still very far away from them, but they would catch up sooner or later. Sandor preferred later.
-Run, you sorry sons of whores, run!- he yelled at Jon and Ygritte. He started seeing other figures also running to the Wall, other members of the Night's Watch. The three horns were sounding in the distance, anouncing the arrival of the dead enemies. Sandor didn't know how Jon and Ygritte were going to be able to cross the Wall with their wildling clothes, he hoped that with all the chaos they would be able to mix with the other crowd and go unnoticed.
He saw one of his brothers from the watch falling behind, unnable to keep up with the speed of the others.
-Sam!- he yelled at the fat boy, and Sam stopped and looked at them. He was scared and his face was red from running, but he smiled for a second.
-Sandor! Jon!
-Keep running, you bloody idiot!- Sandor pushed the boy to urge him to keep running, and Sam did as told. Sandor looked back again; the White Walkers were close now. Three of them were almost behind them.
Sandor unfolded his dragonglass dagger, one that Sam had found months ago, and turned around to face the Others, ignoring the shouts of his companions. He slated one of the White Walker's belly with the dragonglass dagger, cutting him in two, and with a strong blow cut off the second Walker's head of, that feel from his neck and got buried in the snow at his feet. The trident White Walker managed to dodge Sandor's attack and punched him, throwing the man on the back to the snow. The dead monster jumped over him, his glowing blue eyes bloodthirty and dead, but Sandor buried his dagger in one of them and the walking corpse fell over him, definitedly lifeless this time.
-Sandor, run!- Jon was yelling at him, and he could hear Sam's scared cries.
They reached the Wall with the Others on their heels. They arrived at the entrance of the tunnels along with other members of the Night's watch just as the gates were being closed. Luckily, they all managed to pass before that happened, and the gates closed on the Others noses. Everybody could hear their furious fists slamming against the strong doors.
-Keep walking and keep your head down- Sandor told Ygritte, and she did so. Then he looked at Jon.- You as well. It's going to be a nightmare once they see you dressed like that.
But they couldn't hide it for long. As soon as they came out from the tunnel, they all recognized Jon.
-Jon!
-JON!
-Lord Snow!
-What in seven hells are you doing with wildling clothes, kid?- Jeor Mormont exclaimed. Then he saw Ygritte.- And who is she?!
-I can explain- Jon quickly said, and so he did. It was a long story, and Sandor wasn't paying much attention. He sat down to rest, tired of running, and he only looked back up when Lord Mormont patted him in the back like a master did to a good dog.
-Well done Clegane. Thank you for bringing him back.
He just grunted, not saying anything, and stayed there in silence while all kinds of murmurs filled the air with the scared voices of the men of the Night's Watch. They had all pissed their pants running away from the Others. Sandor didn't blame them, everyone was terrified of something. He had run away from the fire, after all.
-I'll deal with you later- Mormont told Ygritte, but she said nothing.
A voice raised over all the murmurs then, calling for Lord Mormont.
-Lord Mormont!- the young lad said.- You have to come, m'lord. Walder and Pyp found a woman yesterday morning, ser. She wasn't far from here, ser, she has laying in the snow half dead.
Many men showed to have some interest in those news as soon they heard the word "woman", and Mormont frowned. A woman in Castle Black, as if he didn't have enough trouble already...
-Where is she?- he asked.
-In maester Aemon's chambers, ser. One more thing, ser, she won't tell us her name. But she's been calling for one of the men the whole time.
-Which one?
-Jon Snow.
That surprised both Jon and Sandor. A woman had come all the way to Castle Black looking for the bastard of Winterfell? Jon didn't know any women, or at least any that were still alive. When he entered the castle to see who that person was, Sandor followed him, curious as too see who it might be. Ygritte and Sam also went with them, awkwardly walking behind them, and Sandor noticed annoyed that all of Jon's friends and the Lord Commander were also following them to maester Aemon's chambers. They reached the doors and Jon stormed right inside, ignoring all the people that where there with him. Maester Aemon was sitting in a chair, his blind eyes fixed on the wall infront of him without seeing it. At his side there was a bed, and a young woman whose face they couldn't see.
-Maester Aemon?- Jon asked, confused.
The old blind man seemed delighted to hear Jon's voice. He never liked it when a member of the Watch went missing beyond the Wall, and he was very much releived when he knew that Jon was back, safe and sound.
-Ah, young Snow!- the old man exclaimed.- Come, come! It fills me with joy to hear that you are back. Come!
-They have told me that she was calling for me?- Jon took a small step towards Aemon and the girl in the bed. Sandor tried to sneak a peek from the door, but the girl's face was hidden behind Aemon.
The maester nodded, but before she could say anything, it was the girl that spoke. Her voice was just a soft, weak low whisper.
-Jon...
All color drained from Jon's face, which turned just as white as that of the Others. Sandor, on the other hand, felt his heart jumping out of his chest and going up to his throat as soon as he heard that voice. His ears must have tricked him, it was not possible...
-Jon...
-SANSA!
Sandor pushed Sam and Jon away from him and crossed to the other side of the room with two single quick steps, and kneeled at the side of the bed, next to the girl. He looked at her with eyes wide with disbelief, and he felt them being quickly flooded by tears. He took her small hand between his. She has so thin that Sandor thought she would break. Se had changed. Her hair was long to her waist, and much darker than it had been before. Her face revealed that she had faced intense hunger... But it was her alright. Most importantly, she was alive...
-Sansa- he rasped, feeling a tight pain in his chest, and she opened her eyes. Those incredible blue eyes that he had missed so much every day and every night locked on his. She didn't seem to react at first.
-Sandor...?- she whispered after what seemed like an eternity.- Am I dead?
-No, little bird, you are not dead- he said as fast as he could. His voice was full with emotion. He didn't even know how it was possible that his little bird was there, alive, at the Wall. But he didn't care, the only thing that mattered was that she was alive an there with him.- Sansa...
-Sandor!
Sansa's voice has recovered her strenght. She stood up on the bed and threw her arms around him, holding him against her with a strenght that Sandor didn't know where she had taken it from, but he did the same thing, holding her tightly agaisnt his chest. He kissed her hair while she cried hysterically, sobbing without control.
-Sandor! I tho-thought you were de-dead!
-I thought you were too, little bird- he said, actually starting to sob as well.- I thought you were dead...
"This is a miracle" he thought.
The little bird let go of him, breaking the embrance, but just so that she could kiss him. He kissed her back, hungrily, passionately, wanting her. He had missed her so much he was going crazy. He needed her. Sandor didn't give a fuck if the Lord Commander and the members of the Night's Watch and Jon were watching them, he had to kiss her again like that, no matter what the consequences.
And as suddenly as she had kissed him, Sansa broke apart from Sandor and slapped him right in the face. He stayed silent, feeling a strong stinging on his cheek from the slap. He heard the others gasping behind him, but he ignored them and so dis Sansa.
She kissed him again, cupping his face with her hands, and for the second time, slapped him once she broke the kiss. The room was silent as a cript, except for Sansa's sobs.
I deserved that Sandor thought. He could even imagine the hell that Sansa's life had been in the last year.
-Don-don't e-ever le-leave me again...
Before sayin anything back, Sandor leaned in to kiss her and this time she didn't break away to hit him. She kissed him back instead, and Sandor tasted her strawberry lips, wet with salty tears. Sansa threw her arms around Sandor's neck, still hardly believing that her beloved was alive.
-Never- he then said firmly. It was a promise, and he didn't intend to break it for as long as he lived.
FINALLY! They are together! Now I can be happy.
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Review please! :)
Now I'm off to study History and sleep, because I'm feeling really, really sick. Oh, well... XD
I'll try to upload soon!