An Unfortunate Outcome
Chapter Eleven
'The love of a pure-hearted maiden is a fragile thing'
"So. Gaap." Virgilia's tone was reasonably pleasant.
'Reasonably'.
On first glance.
However, if you'd known Virgilia at all (and Gaap did know her ve~ry well. She even knew all her measurements), it would have been immediately obvious her polite words masked something far more sinister. Beyond that sleepy smile and those half-lidded eyes, there was a faint, barely-there, but still there undercurrent of pure, unadulterated rage.
An angry Virgilia truly was something to behold; another wonder of the world. The mere phrase 'angry Virgilia' seemed to be a contradiction in itself- and the warring expressions of courtesy and 'I'll-rip-your-face-off-with-my-teeth' was incredibly disturbing.
That was what Gaap called Virgilia's 'Feburary voice'; deceptively bright and sunny at first, but biting cold when you actually stepped outside.
Honestly, her tone was so frosty it was a wonder Gaap didn't catch hypothermia. Gaap wore such impractical outfits she was especially susceptible to the cold!
"A-ahaha... ha... ha... ..." Gaap laughed nervously, backing away.
She didn't like Virgilia's voice.
She liked the look on her face even less.
"Would you care to tell me why, exactly, you've taken to sexually harassing young girls? Or is this just some strange new hobby for you, hmn?~" Virgilia asked.
Her tone was still deceitfully pleasant.
But those words stung.
Even more so than a blow from Dlanor A. Knox's red sword would've done.
"H-hey, Lia! T-that really hurt!" Gaap retorted, miming pain as she held her hands to her chest. "Why do you have such a low opinion of me...?"
At that moment Cornelia's face began to flush bright red.
"Oh? Why do I have such a low opinion of you?" asked Virgilia, voice thick with sarcasm (Virgilia was rarely sarcastic- and for good reason. Because it was really fucking creepy and totally screwed up her 'cool, calm, collected teacher' demeanor). She pressed a fingertip against her lower lip, as though in deep thought. "Hmn, that's tricky... I wonder..."
Cornelia gave another squeak. She sounded kind of like a mouse. With a cold.
...That was so many kinds of adorable Gaap sort of wanted to smush Cornelia's cheeks together.
Or smash her face in.
Any girl as delicate-looking and sweet as Cornelia was just bound to pick up guys- and Gaap couldn't allow that! She didn't want any competition. But the world would be a much darker place if adorable girls like Cornelia didn't exist...
Oh, what a dilemna.
"...Okay," said Gaap, holding her hands up. "The timing of that pipsqueak's blush was, like, way too perfect! I think Pumpkin Head's trying to make me look like a bad guy!"
"...Pumpkin Head?" asked Virgilia.
"Yeah. I gave her a nickname 'cause she wouldn't use my name," said Gaap, shrugging.
"But... Pumpkin Head? That doesn't fit your usual style."
"Well, I can't call Cornelia 'Lia' cause you're 'Lia'," Gaap explained, gesturing towards Virgilia (who scowled, and muttered something like 'so disrespectful...' under her breath). "So I thought I should break with tradition and make up a new, more AMAZING name! And so..." Gaap spread her arms wide. "Pumpkin Head! You follow my logic?"
"I did not realize you acted with LOGIC."
"Hey hey hey, be quiet, you," Gaap shushed, prodding Dlanor in the forehead. "This doesn't involve you."
"I'm afraid you'll find it DOES."
"Oh~ Howww?"
"You sexually assaulted one of my WORKERS."
"E-eep!" Cornelia gave another mouse-with-a-cold squeak. She hung her head just a little lower, until it nearly crashed against the table.
...Nah.
Gaap couldn't kill a girl like that. It'd be kind of like kicking a puppy. And nobody liked doing that.
"You know!" Gaap exclaimed, throwing her arms akimbo and every nearly embedding her hand in a nearby rose bush, "I hate that phrase! Stop saying 'sexual assault'!"
"E-eep-"
"Oh shut up, Pumpkin Head. It totally wasn't that bad, okay?"
"Let it be known that Miss Cornelia is rather sensitive about some things," said Gertrude. Even though her voice was monotone, robotic, as always, Gaap could detect some definite sympathy in there.
Gaap smirked.
Awwww.
Despite Gertrude's cold, ice-princess exterior (as was shared by most of those aloof Eiserne Jungfrau bitches, apart from Dlanor who was just kind of quirky with her funny cat-like smiles, and Cornelia, who was completely helpless), she did care about her workers, then.
That was kind of refreshing.
"Well, I'm soh~ree if I destroyed her childhood innocence or her dreams of a perfect first kiss or anything, but really!" Gaap rolled her eyes. "The kid's gotta grow up one day!"
Cornelia made a strange hissing sound, like air being let out of a balloon. Then, she lifted her head so suddenly those yellow ribbons bounced (the sight was almost transfixing... Ooh... How much fun...)
"A-allow me to speak! T-that's not it at all!" Cornelia retorted, her face stained crimson. "I-it wasn't... I... Don't presume things like that, you... demon!"
"I'm sorry, but I have wa~aaay more worldly experience than you," Gaap retorted, folding her arms. "And to be honest, romance kind of sucks. If you didn't get your first kiss from me- and that's not even so bad, cause I'm really sexy, right? Fufufu- then it would've been from, I dunno, some guy you'll cringe about and wonder 'what the fuck was I thinking?' when you look back on it later. But nobody can cringe when they think about Gaap because I'm just so wonderful with the best fashion sense ever! So I sort of saved you a lifetime of embarrassment. Don't you wanna thank big sis Gaap? Fufufufufufu~"
"T-that's not true!"
"Hahaha~ You're such a maiden, Pumpkin Head!"
"N-no I'm not!"
"Once upon a time I, too-" Gaap declared dramatically, placing one hand to her chest and the other against her forehead. Oh yeah- Zepar and Furfur had nothing on her. "-had naïve, innocent, childish fantasies on love!"
"You were never innocent or naïve," Virgilia replied, voice deadpan.
"Yes!" Gaap continued- in effect, completely ignoring Virgilia (what did Lia know anyway? She was just a boring old woman who wouldn't have known 'fashion' if it plucked her hat from her head and put it in a paper shredder). "I- Gaap, the 33rd demon of hell, and the most good-looking one too- was a wide-eyed, adorable, innocent and rather cute little girl, believing strange fantasies about princesses and princes and the perfect first kiss! Ahahaha..."
Gaap smirked, tilting her head to one side.
"And then I realized it was all a delusion! A lie! And true love doesn't exist!~ The end!"
Cornelia's lower lip began to tremble at this. She looked a little bit like a young child who'd just been told Santa didn't exist.
"T-that's not true..." Cornelia said, her voice soft- tentative. She turned to look at Gertrude. "T-that's not true, is it...?"
Gertrude frowned. She looked up at the sky, as though searching for the truth amongst the fluffy white clouds.
Then, she sighed.
Cornelia... didn't like that sigh...
"Far be it from me to agree with demons, but I do believe Miss Gaap has hit the nail on the head with her analysis there."
"A-ahh? N-not you too, Miss Gertrude?"
"I'm speaking from my own personal experiences, of course."
What?
Cornelia's eyes widened at this. How could any man not adore Miss Gertrude? She was so cool and kind and friendly, and Cornelia had always looked up to her! And, if Miss Gertrude couldn't have that perfect fairytale romance Cornelia always dreamed about (maybe it was a bit naïve, but a girl could daydream, couldn't she? She could fantasize and imagine and hope that someday, maybe, she'd meet a guy who'd give her world), then what were her- clumsy, incompetent, always blushing and stuttering Cornelia- chances at finding her 'true love'?
It didn't seem very likely.
It didn't seem very likely at all.
And the mere thought that Gaap was the best she could do when it came to romance was almost enough to make Cornelia cry.
Tears began to bead in the corners of her eyes.
It just... wasn't... fair...
It wasn't fair... at all...
"U-uwah..."
Then, with a small sob, Cornelia buried her head in her hands and fell against the table.
In just a few seconds all of her childhood dreams had been crushed.
And Gertrude had helped.
That hurt.
S-she was never going to get married now...
Dlanor looked at the fallen form of Cornelia with mild interest, still sipping her tea as though nothing untoward had happened at all. In fact, throughout the duration of Gaap's impromptu 'chat' with Virgilia (more like, her impromptu scolding by Virgilia), Dlanor had been sipping at her tea and gently nibbling on cookies as though nothing had changed. Occasionally, her dead eyes had caught on various flittering butterflies, and had followed them around until she grew bored- and then she'd resumed her slow, robotic actions of sipping tea and nibbling cookies.
Dlanor A. Knox saw any number of strange things on a daily basis. Gaap didn't even qualify as 'interesting' anymore (even though Gaap would've been devastated to hear that, and probably would've gone out of her way to do something even more outrageous just to disprove Dlanor's point).
Now Dlanor said, voice monotone as always; "I think you may have upset Miss CORNELIA."
"L-let it be known that I was speaking objectively," said Gertrude, trying to adapt a somewhat 'soothing' voice (i.e. her voice sounded about one percent less robotic and detached than usual). "It wasn't my intention to trample your dreams."
But Cornelia didn't lift her head.
"Aww, c'mon, Pumpkin Head," said Gaap, reaching forwards to ruffle Cornelia's hair. "Don't get so upset! I'm sure loads of guys would be sooooo jealous of you, getting a free kiss from the Amazingly Sexy Gaap!"
"My, my. Who are these hordes of imaginary men, I wonder?" asked Virgilia.
"O-ow! That's not a ladylike thing to say!"
"Manners operate in a two-way system," said Virgilia firmly. "I am not going to be polite to somebody who doesn't deserve it. And you are anything but ladylike, Gaap."
"Oh, c'mon, Lia!" Gaap pouted, prodding Virgilia in the cheek (Virgilia pushed her away). "I've got boobs too! They're even bigger than your's! How am I not a lady? I think that makes me a few cup sizes more ladylike than youuu!~"
Virgilia girt her teeth together.
The fact that she was able to look both tranquil and enraged at the same time really was quite amazing.
"Must you be so crude?"
"Yeup!~ It's part of my charm! Tehehe!~" Gaap giggling, striking a 'cute' pose.
"And is sexually harassing young girls and then crushing their romantic dreams 'charming'?"
"I dunno, I can't say for sure what turns ~other people~ on," said Gaap, voice sing-song. "And I thought we said we weren't going to use that phrase? I don't 'sexually harass' people- I make them realize the cold, hard truth behind their childish dreams! 'Sexual harassment' just sounds so... Ew..." Gaap wrinkled up her nose. "Not nice."
"You aren't a very nice person."
"It wasn't even LIKE that, okay? Geesh! How many times've I gotta tell you?" Gaap bemoaned to the heavens, slumping down in her own chair besides Virgilia. "I don't even, like, LIKE Pumpkin Head or anything! She's adorable, but she's not a hot guy- not at all!"
"...I'm not sure whether that makes it worse or better," said Virgilia.
"It was all her OUTFIT, okay? I appreciate nice clothes!~ Fufufu~ And I've admired those Eiserne Jungfrau uniforms for some time..." Gaap's eyes began to light up as she spoke, until they were almost as bright as the Andromeda Galaxy. "I-I mean, they're just amazing! A real work of art! Artistry in cloth, even! They have so many ruffles and bows and fine details, it's just... so... hot... I-I've wanted one of those outfits for a really long time... A-and I can't help being totally enraptured by any person wearing those clothes now, can I? So sue me for my ARTISTIC EYE!~"
"...That's one way of putting it."
"Yes! You're just not looking at this situation with enough love, Lia! Without love it cannot be seen and blah blah blah so and so forth," said Gaap, circling one of her fingers in mid-air as she made a point. "I mean, she was totally asking for it anyway. Pumpkin Head to~tally thought she'd totally one-upped me or something back there- I could tell! She was thinking 'oh gee, the wonderful sexy Miss Gaap couldn't possibly steal anything else from me now I've caught her!"
"I-I wasn't thinking that at all..." Cornelia muttered into the table-top,
"Hush now, let the adults finish talking," said Gaap, waving a finger at the red-faced Cornelia. "Fufufufu~ You thought you had me cornered ri~ight, Pumpkin Head?"
Cornelia didn't reply.
"Right!~" Gaap continued merrily, completely ignoring how uncomfortable she was making poor Cornelia. "She thought she'd beaten me! But NOBODY can defeat me! I won't allow it! Fufufufu~ I still managed to steal something! I stole her first kiss!"
"...You sound so proud of yourself it's despicable," said Virgilia, voice cutting.
In response Gaap flashed Virgilia a rather crooked smile/smirk, and buffed her nails against the front of her shirt.
"Why, thank you, Lia~ I do hafta practise my general despicable-ness, being a demon and all. But seriously- if Pumpkin Head was a girl in a dating sim (and she totally could be!) I'd have raised all sorts of flags by now!"
"...Flags? What are you talking about?" Virgilia asked.
But her question was soon drowned out by Cornelia.
"D-don't compare me to a dating sim!"
It was a wonder she managed to reply at all, considering her head was still buried in her hands.
Maybe Pumpkin Head had more of a backbone than Gaap once thought...
"Eh?~ But the comparison's totally valid. You're such a stereotype, Pumpkin Head. A stereotype in an adorable outfit I mean aaa I can't even describe it! You wouldn't understand!~ Gyahahaha!~"
"...I don't want to hear anything else about your strange fetishes," said Virgilia, voice dry. Her tone clearly indicated 'this is the end of the discussion'.
For everybody but Gaap, it seemed.
"Hey, c'mon, Lia! Can't you see how I feel? You see I really had no option but to kiss her given how sexy those clothes are, right?"
"No. I'm afraid I don't follow your reasoning at all."
"Then you're boring!~ Nyahhh! Lia's so old and bo~oring!"
Virgilia's left eye twitched.
"Yes!" Gaap continued, clutching her hands to her chest in that overly-theatrical manner once more. "I, Gaap, have a passion for amazing outfits! They're my one true love! My reason for being alive! Haven't you ever loved something so completely you could devote your whole life to it, Lia? Haven't you? Trying putting yourself in my shoes! Don't be a dry, loveless old spinster your whole life!"
"But your clothes don't look very PRACTICAL. I can't imagine they would be comfortable to WEAR."
"Well, of course you couldn't pull this off," said Gaap, putting her hands behind her back and pushing her chest out at the same time. "You're not blessed with a really sexy body!~"
"I am still a KID."
"Of course! And practicality doesn't matter in the face of love!"
"P-please allow me to speak!" said Cornelia, pushing herself up from the table with some difficulty. Her hair was a disordered mess, one of her ribbons had come unraveled, and her face was stained the very fetching color of strawberry jam- but all of that contributed to Cornelia's overall 'clumsy, forgetful' vibe, so Gaap would allow it.
It was kind of endearing.
"What do you want, Pumpkin Head?"
"Let it be known that my name is Cornelia," said Cornelia, stressing her name in much the same way Dlanor spoke. "And weren't you the one, Miss Gaap, who claimed love was a pointless pursuit?"
"Yeaaa so?"
"You're talking about love in a very passionate manner now," said Cornelia- and though she was flushing, she smiled.
She obviously thought she'd proven a point.
When the various members of Eiserne Jungfrau (especially the younger ones) engaged in arguments with demons, they always got this really elated look about them every time they gained a victory- no matter how small it was.
It was almost as if they could die happily because they'd complete their mission in life; to defeat demons.
(Of course, then they moved up the ranks and became second or first class priests, and every last drop of emotion was drained out of their bodies until they were all bland and boring and no fun for Gaap to play with because they never responded to her teasing.
Sure, their outfits were still adorable, but coating cardboard in sugar didn't make a delicious treat- and cute girls in cute outfits were always much more adorable when they had cute personalities too!)
Cornelia's face was...
So sweet!
That face, coupled with her outfit, was just criminal! Aaaa!
Inner-Gaap was squealing at the overload of adorableness emitting from Cornelia.
In fact, it was getting a little difficult to resist the urge to pull the shorter girl into a hug.
Gaap almost didn't want to shoot Cornelia's reasoning to pieces-
But, in the end, she was a demon.
Gaap smirked.
"Yeah. I wax romantic on clothes. Not people. Clothes can't say they love you and then sexually disappoint you like people can!~ Gyahahaha! Here's a pro tip, little Pumpkin Head- when guys talk about how awesome they are, they're usually lying. Or over-compensating. Remember that, kay?"
Cornelia's eyes... widened...
That self-sure, confident smile began to slip.
Her face went bright red.
Then, she buried her head in her arms again.
She really was such a little kid, it was sort of hilarious.
"Gaap."
...Urgh.
Gaap had almost forgotten about Virgilia.
"Y-yeah, Lia?~ Aheheh..."
"I think we need to do discuss this calmly with Beatrice, like adults. Maybe over some tea- with some of Ronove's cookies. It will be fairly civilized; a chat between friends. And maybe then you will grow to understand what a detestable creature you are. Doesn't that sound lovely? What do you say?"
The tranquil smile on Virgilia's face was frosty enough to turn water into ice.
Gaap shuddered.
The woman sat before her in that stupid hat was the real demon, her peaceful smile and sleepy eyes be damned. It was just a ruse! Underneath that calm, sophisticated exterior beat the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac!
S-so scary...
Gaap wondered if she should run away- but she felt sure Virgilia would follow her and strike her down.
So, she had two choices open to her.
1) Get decapitated by Beatrice.
2) Get disemboweled by Virgilia.
Huh...
Neither sounded very attractive- and blood was such a pain to get out of her clothes.
"This... really sucks."
"Haha~" Virgilia laughed serenely. "Silly Gaap. You really do bring this upon yourself."
"Cornelia, are you ALRIGHT?"
"..."
"Miss Gaap is gone, you KNOW."
"..."
"Are you unable to RESPOND?"
"..."
Dlanor's lips twitched in a slight frown. Like all of Dlanor's expressions, that frown was so small it was almost non-existent- but Gertrude still saw it.
"Gertrude. I think Miss Cornelia is BROKEN."
Dlanor prodded Cornelia in the cheek experimentally, almost tentatively, as though she were an unexploded bomb.
There was a short pause.
And then Cornelia's head fell against the table with sickening crack.
"...Oh DEAR."
If Cornelia, the lowly little third class priest whose romantic fantasies had been shattered like a stained glass window in under two minutes, had been having a terrible day, Beatrice, the inappropriately dressed Golden Witch, was having a worse one.
And that really was something to boast about (not that she wanted to).
Beatrice had shouted at Beelzebub and Satan for almost half an hour about how disrespectful they were, being so noisy and childish and "why are you complaining about her stealing your dress when no guy would ever go out with you anyway?", and now Beatrice's throat was sore and her mouth felt dry and she didn't even have enough energy to ask Ronove for a drink.
So, instead of doing anything remotely productive to alleviate her bad mood, Beatrice sat in her bedroom and sulked.
Like a child.
...Yeah.
That'd show those noisy stakes not to fuck around with her in the future.
Beatrice scowled. Unfortunately, there was nobody there to witness it, so it was a wasted effort.
Then, she began to tug at the hem of that stupid, stupid 'dress' (that didn't even deserve to be given such a title, when she was in a state of near 'undress' anyway), willing it to cover more flesh.
The dress didn't.
And Beatrice didn't like it when things- people, goat butlers, inanimate objects, whatever- didn't listen to her.
It made her angry.
And when Beatrice got angry she broke people's spines or murdered Battler's family or bossed about those useless stakes or, or, or...
Or continued to sulk even more.
Because that plan of action was already working so well at improving her mood.
"...Blehhhh."
The Almighty and All-Powerful Golden Witch gave a childish noise of contempt as she collapsed onto her bed, grabbing hold of her favorite pillow and pressing her face into it. Her blonde hair was a ratted mess, straggling round her shoulders as though it'd never seen a comb in its life- but Beatrice didn't really care.
That was just another thing to be annoyed about.
She could add it to her already extensive list.
There was enough room.
Where on the list would it go, exactly?
Maybe somewhere between Ronove's hair (how it always managed to stay so shiny was a complete mystery to Beatrice. Her butler's hair shouldn't have been prettier than hers! Wasn't that, like, treason?)-
"Hello, Beatrice."
"Gah!"
-and uninvited, out-of-the-blue, bolt-out-of-golden-butterflies visits from various demons/witches who'd obviously never heard of doors.
Beatrice's eyes widened to almost comic proportions, and she very nearly rolled off her bed in alarm as a sudden burst of golden butterflies appeared beside her bed. Even though that was the preferred method of transportation in the meta world, it still managed to take her by surprise; especially when she was feeling melancholy and jaded and not at all like her usual self.
Why didn't people use their legs?
Beatrice hastily pulled herself into a sitting position (lying down whilst wearing that 'dress' wasn't a good idea... Then again, doing absolutely anything whilst wearing that 'dress' could've been counted as the 'worst idea since the Titanic'- or, alternatively, the 'worst idea since Beelzebub thought she was semi-competent in the kitchen and could make her own tea'- so it didn't really matter what she did in that 'dress' anyway). Then, the very disgruntled and slightly embarrassed Beatrice tried to brush her hair into something vaguely resembling a style (i.e. she raked her fingernails through it and nearly made her scalp bleed... ow...
Okay, that was also a rather bad idea).
Beatrice huffed, exhaling air- watching, with disinterest, as it made her straight-across bangs that weren't so straight-across anymore flutter in the breeze.
Then, she glared.
Glared at the two people in her room.
One was Virgilia.
"Ah~ That outfit you're wearing is rather... interesting..." said Virgilia. Her face then went through a rather interesting array of emotions, before settling on 'perplexed, sympathetic irritation.'
Virgilia turned to look at the curly-haired demon beside her.
"Would you happen to know anything about this?"
The other person in Beatrice's room- who looked rather shame-faced and fearful for her own life, though she was trying to disguise it with a wide smirk that went slightly wobbly at the edges- was Gaap.
Of course.
Gaap began to laugh nervously, running her hands through her indestructible, unchanging blonde princess curls.
"W-who, me? Why would I know anything about this? W-why do you assume, whenever something goes wrong, that it's my fault?"
"Because it usually is."
"T-that's mean, Lia!"
"The truth hurts."
Beatrice paused, her gradually narrowing eyes flickering between Virgilia and Gaap, Gaap and Virgilia, over and over again.
She deliberated.
Weighed up her options.
Considered how best to settle their dispute in a mature, adult manner.
...And then Beatrice looked down at what she was wearing, and decided Gaap needed to die.
Painfully.
"The truth may hurt, dear big sister," said Beatrice, injecting so much venom into the words it was a wonder she didn't burn a hole through her tongue. "But this will hurt a lot, lot more."
Gaap's face went pasty white.
"H-hey, Riche! C-can't we talk this over? P-please don't hurt me! Violence doesn't solve anything!"
"No~ But it'll make me feel a lot better. Ihihihi..."
"R-riche! W-what's an embarrassing outfit between sisters? You love me, right? R-right? D-don't maim me..."
"Why shouldn't I?" asked Beatrice, folding her arms. "You have five seconds."
Gaap scrunched her face up in concentration as she thought. This was important... her life could depend upon this! She needed a good answer!
And then her face brightened up.
She smile.
"I know, I know!~ If you hurt me, think of all those hot guys you'll disappoint who are totally in love with me!"
Beatrice bared her teeth and snarled- literally snarled.
And then she promptly tried to grind Gaap's face into her bedroom mirror.
Meanwhile, Virgilia really had to wonder who, exactly, where these phantom guys that were 'so in love' with Gaap.
It was a mystery indeed.
Virgilia couldn't fathom why anybody would ever like that annoying, curly-haired, poorly-dressed, disturbed-in-the-head weirdo. Was there a market for such a thing?
...Even if there was, there wouldn't be after Beatrice was finished turning Gaap's face into tuna mayonnaise.
Huh.
That was sort of unpleasant and disgusting, but it wasn't like Gaap didn't deserve it, so Virgilia didn't try to intervene.
Maybe she'd go and talk to Ronove for a while. He was a rather sensible person, and probably didn't make a habit of molesting young girls and then excusing it with some self-righteous rambling about having an 'artistic eye'.
Yes.
That sounded like a good idea.
Just until Beatrice calmed down.
What was the worst that could happen?
Looking back on the situation in retrospect, it had probably been a bad idea to fall asleep with his arms wrapped round Ronove's middle, their legs tangled together and his head resting against his chest.
Then again, even without the knowledge of hindsight, Battler should've known better.
He had known better.
Ushiromiya Battler had been perfectly aware, in fact, that it was a disastrous move; kind of like putting yourself into checkmate in only two turns.
Hell- having sex ('making love' was a really horrible phrase Battler didn't much want to use to describe the situation, because it sort of made him feel like a pure-hearted, easily-flushed girl with a naïve perception of life and love) with Ronove had been a 'Very Bad Move' in itself.
It was an even worse idea than that time Beelzebub tried to make tea for herself, and somehow managed to decimate half the kitchen (that girl had a talent for destroying things. It wasn't a useful talent, or a particularly endearing one, but it definitely was a talent, and one to be reckoned with. Beelzebub was almost as proficient at annihilating everything she came into contact with as Jessica was at playing the guitar, or Beato was at being a sour-faced, unlikable bitch).
But Battler really hadn't been able to bring himself to care.
In a moment of madness (that he was going to blame whatever 'mystery drug X' Beelzebub gave him, just so he could spare his sanity)- or maybe it was just a moment of childishness- Battler had wanted to control somebody.
To dominate them, as he had been dominated again and again by Beatrice and her entourage of strange and disturbing followers.
And he'd succeeded- somewhat successfully.
He'd made Ronove shiver and moan- and even blush- and even if some of it was an act Battler had still won.
He had.
But, after his 'victory'...
He just... hadn't wanted to move...
Battler would never have imagined he'd have ever, at any point throughout the entirety of his life- fucked up though it was- slept with a demon butler with an annoying laugh, a tendency to get far too close and a mustache (it'd been pretty hard closing his eyes and imaging Ronove was a girl because of that- but, then again, he hadn't really wanted to imagine Ronove was somebody else anyway; which was even more worrying.
Battler doubted it would've been anywhere near as satisfying making an archetypal 'moe' girl blush as it been with Ronove. It was kind of like what Beatrice said- 'I like people with a backbone that try to stand up to me! It's more fun to see them give up and glorify my name! Gyahahaha' cue eight minutes of insane laughter.
...Urgh.
And now Battler was turning into a sadistic ((not to mention cannibalistic)) control freak, too.
Yippee).
But Battler's pre-conceptions about his life hadn't mattered- not in the end.
Because he had slept with Ronove.
It was kind of hard to disprove that.
And it hadn't... even... been that bad...
Not really.
Not at all- in all honesty.
So Battler had pulled Ronove closer, rested his head against his chest, and fallen asleep; all the while trying to convince himself that his strange mix of feelings was because of some 'mystery drug'.
"B-battler? R-ronove...? I-I... A-ah... W-what...?"
Looking back on it in retrospect, Battler really should have known this was a really bad idea.
It looked just a little bit like Virgilia was going to faint.
a/n: I think the next chapter will be the last one, plus an epilogue... I'm kind of disappoint about that, 'cause I love this story, weird and crack-ish though it is XD~
I wish my favorite things to write were more mainstream so more people would read them XD Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time here XD
But I'm having fun, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Nyoron~
Gaap/Cornelia = new OTP maybe? XDD
I hope everybody is still vaguely IC because I'm beginning to get the feeling I'm flanderizing their personalities a little (especially Beato's and Gaap's... and Virgilia's... Cornelia's I don't mind so much cause I know she's vaguely OOC anyway but her character gets explored so little in the vn it doesn't really matter too much? I know she was meant to be a hard-working girl ((and Gertrude was actually meant to be very caring)) but I thought I'd contrast that hard-working-ness with general klutziness too just so she feels an urge to try even harder~) for the sake of humor, which isn't a good thing ._.
~renahhchen xoxoxo