She fell to the bed with aching ankles and a dress that lightened up the ever so white sheets.
The hairpins were out and her hair was lying around her face like a lion's mane.
With eyes ever so tired she stared out into the nothingness, the silvery tapestry and the chandelier that lit up her little existence. The night had gone on forever, making her ankles weak and her mind deluded. She had been so free; something that had surprised her quite a bit. Her expectations for the night was so be shepherded by her uncle or Rodolphus, but instead she danced and socialized like it was the most common thing in the world; at least for her.
Her throbbing feet and ankles was the constant reminder of how much she had danced – how much fun she had experienced.
For some reason she hadn't had anything against dancing with Lucius – and that was a miracle. Lucius was a man that she couldn't decide if she accepted or if she wanted to kill, his behaviour was ever so changing and she didn't know if she could take it. He could be a bully, a patron, harassment and a gentleman.
He was all those things packed into one person – she was surprised that he didn't explode due to the occupation of so many characters in one body. He was in many ways a never ending torment, though she secretly concluded with that it was due to her not being able to make out who Lucius was all the time.
She wanted to find one person in him; she wanted to keep one of them there.
She had started to care for him in her own way, and she felt that they slowly connected on a different level than before. In dance they had reached another level of their bond – slow and fast moves, two characters united into one flowing emotion – it had been wonderful and yet so scary. Her conclusion was that Lucius was a puzzle; a puzzle that she seemed to get more and more intrigued with.
With her eyes faced the ceiling she fell into the open air, feeling how her body went limp and her head went foggy. With a body fully dressed she felled into the land of dreams and make-belief – a land where things made less sense than they did out in the open.
Mina woke up to the sound of howling wolves and sirens – her feet still hurt, but her mind was well rested. As she stood up from her bed she noticed that she was still fully dressed, the sight of her shoes thrown away in the corner of the room was rather ridiculous; she had never thought that she'd ever experience this. With heavy eyelids she approached the window, taking in the sight of the raging snow storm. She was thinking of owling Severus – but sending an owl out into this weather was slightly cruel. She looked at Xerxes who sat on top of her closet, glaring down at her.
"It's not my fault, I can't control the weather." She reached out her arm to make him come down; yet the fully grown owl did not intend to be sweet and cuddly today. She sighed, backing up to her bed and sitting down; leaning her head in her palms. "You can't blame me for every inconvenient, love." She was probably talking to deaf ears, yet she didn't mind. Once again she felt like she was behind locked doors and bars. "Last night was wonderful, Xerxes – I danced, laughed and lived. But what is this if that was life?" She frowned, her face growing ever so thoughtful.
As if the bird had realized his mistress' mood he silently slid down on his large wings, landing on the bed beside his fair haired woman. They had spent so many years together; he might be crass and stubborn, but he knew when she needed to have him near. "What is this existence if dancing was life; is this just waiting? Must my life be long periods of waiting and then the smallest drop of life when it becomes unbearable?" She didn't know where her words came from – it was as if something inside her had opened; a bleeding wound. "He says nothing, but I can see it in his eyes that he will never let me go. I should've never overheard him that night so long ago; it would've been better living without knowing. I know I'm nothing but a possession of his, a doll that comes to life as soon as he has fallen asleep. I know that a married life can be no better than this; at least if he has his way with it – yet I yearn for release." She fell back into the bed, making the owl wobble ever so slightly.
He was immediately slightly insulted and walked himself up to her neck. As she turned her head towards the window he placed himself by her neck, cuddling down into a ball of warm feathers.
Mina smiled ever so slightly, so sad that not even tears could reach her suddenly tired eyes. What was life if not yet another play; and she felt like a doll in someone's materialistic game. The large owl made a soft sound and pushed her earlobe ever so slightly, she smiled and straightened her head. "Live for me Xerxes." She whispered feebly, knowing that the owl understood her sorrow, but not all of her words.
After an hour of staring into the abyss that seemed to be her life she heard a tapping noise on her window. She recognized that sound everywhere and sat up with a rather concerned look in her eyes. Xerxes who had fallen asleep fussed up his feathers and sat up properly, glaring at what would be an owl outside Mina's window. Xerxes was, sort of, the jealous type; especially when that owl had made his Mistress get up and wake him from his slumber. As Mina opened the window and let in the chilly air and snow a shabby brown owl literally fell in and down to the floor. She closed the window immediately and bent down to pick up the rather frozen creature. As she picked up the shabby creature Xerxes made an insulted noise and the other owl just looked up at her with golden eyes.
"You've got a letter for me, I see?" She sat the owl on top of her fireplace so that he could defrost a little; the creature seemed to have more ice than beak. She untied the letter from his foot and set forth some food for him. Someone was stupid enough to send out an owl in this weather, so she should at least take a little care of him. As she opened the letter she sighed, it was actually from Severus.
Dear Mina.
I hope your Christmas has been swell, mine has been decent enough. Before you get time to yell at me; I'm sorry for sending him out in this weather.
I'm terribly sorry for bringing this onto you, but I do not know who else I could turn to. It seems like our future is catching up with us, especially us men. I know that the Lucy has talked to them, the next is Rodolphus and then it's my turn. I hate to tell you it; but they won't. Don't be too harsh on them, you can be as harsh as you want to on me; this is their fighting chance. You know that none of us is like that, none of us is devils – yet being saints will surely get us killed. I don't know if you're a part of the plans or what will happen to you, but I know that the darkness is catching up.
You live in the midst of a dark mist; you must surely know how it chases us.
And I thank you in advance for defrosting my owl.
SS.
It wasn't panic that got to her, more the creeping feeling of acceptance. She didn't know when her heart had come to accept these cruel circumstances; but the cryptic message from Severus didn't frighten her too much, it just made her feel awfully small. She knew exactly what he had meant and the thought of her boys getting lost in the darkness; branded and blindfolded – it caused her great pain. Lucius had started the transmission – Rodolphus was next. She knew very well that there was nothing she could do to stop this catastrophe; she knew that she had to accept what was to come. Yet she wouldn't stand in a forgotten corner; she would protect them from themselves and she would fight like a beast to make sure they never lost themselves fully. She didn't think that any of them truly could become like The Dark Lord, neither like her uncle Roman once had been – like her father had been.
There wasn't much she remembered of him anymore, just bits and pieces. But one thing she knew was that the darkness inside him had caused his death; his and her mother's death. And that was the person Roman compared her to? Of course she had loved her father due to who he was backthen, but he was all those things her boys couldn't be; she refused.
About an hour had passed since Severus' poor owl had flown in through her window, and he seemed to have gotten all warm now. Xerxes was still not completely thrilled, he just glared at the creature; annoyed about him eating his food. After Mina had sent him away without a letter he had flown his way up to the top of her closet again, settling in for a little snooze once again.
He had the feeling that Mina wouldn't stay in her room all day; she couldn't go all day without eating. And Xerxes was right, after fifteen minutes she'd left the room; yet he was positive that he could smell her emotions all the way down into the kitchen – sorrow didn't suit his Mina.
Lucius wasn't quite sure what to do anymore. The day before had been absolutely outstanding – dancing and socializing with people that was worthy of his presence – that was mostly Mina though. Though the thoughts wouldn't leave his mind, the returning visions of what he had seen and heard. He knew very well that his years at Hogwarts was coming to an end, he knew that he would soon be forced to enter his new life; he would have to become a new man that he wasn't sure he could even be. Of course he would do as he was told, he would play his part and obey his father and... – The Dark Lord. As a lightning bolt a memory hit him, Christmas Eve.
The air was cold, yet they were safely inside a mansion darker than Lucius could ever remember to have seen. It seemed like someone took care of this place, yet keeping it warm and light was obviously not necessary. As Abraxas walked the empty corridors, Lucius followed him without seeming too nervous. This was a great day, his father had said – the day that Lucius would follow in his footsteps.
Lucius hadn't wanted to seem to put off, he had to seem devoted to the plan – devoted to the cause. They had reached a large door with casting iron in the shape of dragons and serpents, it seemed like the door had seen its better days – or decades – yet it held itself up there, ready to take in every poor soul that entered it. The door opened automatically, someone was obviously awaiting them, and Lucius was right. The atmosphere changed drastically as they stepped upon the black, cold tiles that marked the entering of another room; another era. There was slightly lighter inside this room, burning torches on the wall and a great fireplace. It seemed like this had been a parlour – hell, it might still be, but it was awfully dull and dark. Lucius saw immediately that this was no place for a poor person, but rather a person with all the power in the world. Oh, how right he was... Something in the back of his head told him that this was an awful idea, but his senses told him to stay. This wasn't his idea; this was a thing that Abraxas had demanded. As the door closed behind them a chill ran down Lucius' spine, the feeling that something bad was going to happen.
"Abraxas Malfoy, I see you finally brought your offspring." And how right he was.
Lucius chilled and looked down at his arm; it had gone too fast – he thought it would take more time... The deal was that he would stay at Hogwarts a little longer; he had to lure in Severus completely, but at the same time be an inspiration for the rest of the Slytherins. He had ridiculously much pressure on his shoulders – he didn't know what to do or where to move. The serpent and the scull on his left forearm was the mark of how he lost his childhood for good now. How could he ever return to a carefree man when he knew that he was part of a group that slaughtered and tormented like they did? It was for the greater cause – at least that was what The Dark Lord had told him. Though he had to lead his friends into the same destiny that had befallen him; how could he do that; knowing of the risk?
There was a grim feeling in his chest as he realized he had to put away those childish feelings.
He was a man now, a Death Eater.
Severus sat alone in his room, his father had fallen asleep with whisky in his hand; something that meant he had the night to himself. He had sent his poor owl out a couple of hours ago, knowing that Mina would hate him for sending out the creature in this weather. As he thought about it he heard tapping on his window, a spark of hope – yet it was pulled down by the grim sensation in his chest – he walked to the window to open it for his feathery companion. The owl had been cheap, the only thing he could afford really.
He didn't have too much money and wasting it on an expensive owl would be utter stupidity. He let in the brown, shabby thing. It seemed rather cold, but he had a feeling that its belly was full of food. Mina wasn't a girl to let animals leave without letting them eat; bless her soul – he was supposed to buy food tomorrow.
The owl didn't carry a letter, something that worried him a little. He was quite sure that she got the letter, he had hexed it to only open for her; otherwise it would stay attached to the owl's leg. He closed the window and sat down on a chair beside the window, glaring out into the snowy wonderland. His window was crap, his room was crap; the whole house was crap. Once in a while he wished he had as much money as Mina, Rodolphus and Lucius. He would give anything for their lives with good food, books and not a father that kept yelling at him for being a wizard. He lived in misery – he just didn't admit it. Once, back in time, he had Lily; they were best friends and took care of each other, oh, how he had loved Lily; though he still did. But now he didn't have her, he had called her a mudblood and their friendship had ended with that. He knew she hadn't forgiven him for his betrayal, yet he wished, oh he wished, that she would forgive him and come back.
But now she was with James Potter, that arrogant arse. He hated James with every aching bone in his body, every cell told him to hit the schmuck. Though Severus knew he couldn't be that stupid, he had to control himself and wait for revenge to serve itself one day. He knew that the bullying, tormenting and taunting would one day stop; though that was the only thing that kept luring him to the dark side. He knew that he would become a Death Eater at some point, maybe even soon.
He knew that his life, at least as he knew it, would be over. He knew that Mina would be taken from her home and placed somewhere else where he probably couldn't take care of her. And he hated it.
Rodolphus wasn't at his room, unlike Mina who had crept down to the kitchen and back up. He was in the glass coupe that formed the outside parlour. He was sitting in his favourite leaning chair with a glass of champagne beside him. He was facing the garden, turning his back on the Lestrange Mansion; feeling the glee that still lingered in his tired feet. He had danced many times, mostly with Bellatrix. He enjoyed how she transformed in front of him; from strict and posh to slightly smiling and extravagant. He saw the human in Bella now, enjoying every drop that lingered in the air; her scent.
When they had become engaged he had panicked, he had thought that this would be the end of the world and she was going to drag him down; oh, how wrong he was. She was crazy – he admitted that, but who couldn't enjoy some craziness in their every day? It was a long time until they'd get married, at least that was what he thought, and their engagement was purely for the family bond right now. Building bridges between Lestrange and Black once again. There was no worry in his mind; he shut out everything else – even the grim man in the back of his mind, standing there like a warning of what was to come in the near future.
Rodolphus sighed and shut his eyes to clear everything; avoiding the pain. He took a sip of his champagne and felt the rather sour bubbles sweep down his throat. He wished that Mina would accompany him, but he had a feeling that Severus had warned her of what was to come.