"J.R. Ewing, where are you taking me?" Sue Ellen cradled the phone to her ear as she rested on the bed in the sorority house. One of the perks about finishing her stint as Miss Texas was that she could go back to a normal college life: living with people her own age. Sue Ellen had pledged with a sorority as a freshman and was finally getting the opportunity to live with her fellow sisters in the beautiful white house on campus. The thought of living alone still intimidated her, after all of this time, she was twenty two years old, in her senior year of college, and had never lived alone before.
"Sue Ellen, Honey, if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise," J.R. teased. He drew a great amount of pleasure from keeping the lovely Miss Shepard on her toes. He truly believed that she was the best thing that ever happened to him, and she was going to know it. "I'll be there to pick you up at 5, Darlin'."
"What am I to wear?" she asked, not wanting to feel out of place.
"You can wear whatever you want, because we'll be alone."
Sue Ellen hung up the phone and darted over to the closet. Things were going so well with J.R. His family loved her, and she was now a welcome visitor at Southfork. She was beginning to feel more relaxed there, J.R. had bought her a horse all of her own, and she was becoming an excellent rider.
The one thorn in her side was her mother, who always told her that she could do better than J.R. Ewing. The woman nearly had a stroke when her daughter calmly told her that she was officially breaking off her relationship with Billy Frampton. All of the diamonds in the world couldn't change Sue Ellen's mind about plain old Billy. J.R. was exciting, romantic, he truly loved her, and she loved him back. "Mrs. J.R. Ewing," she sighed, hoping to someday earn the coveted title. They had been dating for over two years, and he had not seemed eager to talk about marriage. Sue Ellen was well aware of how desirable he was to the millions of other women in Dallas. Sue Ellen carefully followed her mother's golden rules in finding a rich husband, being the perfect lady, always seeking to please him. As far as she was concerned, she was doing a good job, J.R. showed an extreme amount of interest in her, and she believed that it would only be a short time before a delicate diamond solitaire would be placed on her left ring finger, telling the world that she would be his for life.
After careful consideration, Sue Ellen chose an elegant sparkling silver spaghetti-strapped dress with matching shoes. Her hair was down, shaping the frame of her face.
"Hello, Darlin'," J.R. said as he took her hand in his. "You look lovely."
"J.R.," Sue Ellen blushed, planting a kiss on his mouth, "I have waited all day to see you."
"I think tonight will be worth the wait," J.R. smiled as the two drove in his car.
"J.R., we're at Donohue's, where we had our first date." Sue Ellen sighed, remembering how very nervous she was about eating with J.R. Ewing.
The couple entered the deserted restaurant. "Did you buy out the restaurant, J.R.?" Sue Ellen asked quietly.
"I want tonight to be about us. There is no one in the world that I would rather be with."
Sue Ellen smiled as J.R. promptly ordered a bottle of champagne. Her suspicions about tonight being special were going to pay off.
"Are you alright, Sue Ellen?" J.R. asked, noting that Sue Ellen didn't touch her main course.
"I'm fine, I suppose I'm just preoccupied with graduating in a few weeks."
"Are you excited?"
"Yes and no, I'm still not sure if I'm going back to live with mamma and Kristin. And then, I'm wondering about finding a job in the fall."
"Did I ever tell you that you worry too much, Darlin'?" He gently kissed her hand, "you are going to have a wonderful life after college."
"Is that so?" Sue Ellen teased, "Tell me Mr. Ewing, besides being a successful oilman, are you a seer on the side?" she laughed.
J.R. smiled, "I do know that I love you very much, and that there is no one else that I would rather spend my life with."
"J.R…"
J.R. gently got down on bended knee, and pulled a tiny grey velvet box from his pocket. "Sue Ellen Shepard, will you marry me?"
"Yes!"
Sue Ellen awoke from her dream, refreshed and ready for a new day. The engagement dream had been a recurring one over the two weeks. Things were so different then. Sue Ellen was much younger, hopeful, and trusting. Being married to J.R. for ten years changed her.
Sue Ellen wanted to go back to the beginning, where she first met J.R. and fell in love, when life wasn't complicated with wheeling and dealing, or illicit affairs that were made public. She wanted her husband back.
"J.R., did you look at these contracts?" Bobby asked, holding out a file of papers for J.R. to see.
"Of course I looked at them, Bobby. What do you think I've been doing all week?"
Bobby sighed, realizing that now was as good a time as any to try to talk to J.R. about last night. "J.R., it's okay to be distracted with your work right now. You have a lot going on."
"Bobby," J.R., snapped, "I have always given 100 to this company, our daddy's company, and my personal life is none of your business."
"Fair enough, J.R., but when you start attacking Pam the way you did last night, I just won't stand for it."
J.R. paused, "Maybe I was unfair to Pam last night and I'm sorry."
"You were very unfair to Pam last night, and I know for a fact that no matter how much you dislike having her at the ranch, something provoked you last night." Bobby placed the papers back in the file. "I'm just trying to be a good brother."
"You want to be a good brother, leave me alone and let me work."
Bobby let out a laugh. "Now this is why I was always closer to Gary then you, he was easier to talk to."
"Gary was weak, he had no backbone."
"Insulting Gary isn't going to make your problems with Sue Ellen go away."
"Now see here, Bobby," J.R. stood up, towering over his brother, "Sue Ellen is coming back to Southfork and everything is going to be just fine."
"J.R.?" Louella, J.R.'s handy secretary came into the room, "here's a copy of the Dallas Daily News, look who made the cover."
"Give me that," J.R. said, taking the paper from Louella as she headed back to her desk. "Damn!" J.R. cursed as he threw the paper on the desk. "What is that idiot doing on the cover!"
Bobby peered at the paper, glaring at Cliff's smiling face. Cliff may be Pam's brother, but he had caused more than enough trouble for the Ewing family, and Bobby was tired of the way that it was hurting Pam, who only wanted peace in the home.
"J.R., what exactly did Cliff do to make you so angry at Pam?" Bobby asked.
"None of your business."
"Does it have to deal with Ewing Oil?"
"What did I say?"
Bobby stood over J.R.'s desk, "I am a full member of Ewing Oil and I have every right to know what goes on around here, including who we're fighting."
"It's personal, Bob," J.R. said finally.
"Personal?" Bobby asked, bewildered. "You and Cliff don't exactly run in the same social circles."
"Bob – he's gone after Sue Ellen."
"What?" Bobby asked, stunned to know that Pam's prediction proved true. "Are you sure?"
"I saw them last night."
"You were following her?"
"I wasn't trying to," J.R. said defensively. "I had a long day at the office, and everyone was out for dinner, so I went for a drive, and I saw the two at the house she was staying at."
"But you didn't see anything?"
"Are you dumb, Bobby? This is the very same man that Sue Ellen once had an affair with."
"Do you have that little faith in Sue Ellen, J.R? After all of these years, do you think that she would cheat on you again?"
"Nothing stopped her before."
"I think you're jumping to conclusions, but I do see why you'd be concerned. If I saw Pam with an ex-lover, I'd be pretty unhappy myself."
"Now that you know what happened, can you let me work?"
"What are you going to do with Sue Ellen when she comes back?"
"I don't know, Bob. Lock her up and throw away the key?" he said bitterly.
"You love her too much for that, J.R. You wouldn't be so worried about her if you didn't love her."
J.R. glared at his younger brother, wishing that he would realize that he was not executive material and belonged on the road promoting the company. "I care about what she is doing to this family, to mamma and daddy!"
"Sure, J.R.," Bobby said as he left the office. "When you see her, don't be afraid to tell her that you love her."
"Mind your own business, Bob," J.R. muttered under his breath.
"J.R., I'm so sorry for everything that I've put you through these past few months. I know that I can be a nightmare at times, but so are you." Sue Ellen paused, looking at herself in the mirror. "Ugh, I'm doing this all wrong. Insulting J.R. won't make him see that I love him." Sue Ellen turned around, admiring her long flowery red dress from the side; it was wide enough to hide the pregnancy. "J.R., I have wonderful news. You remember how you've been saying that John Ross should have a brother or sister, well guess what, you're wish is gonna come true." Sue Ellen fluffed her hair. "J.R., I'm pregnant." Sue Ellen stomped her foot, "Why is this so hard!"
"Sue Ellen, I know I haven't always been the proper husband to you, and I am truly sorry for everything I've done, and I know that nothing can erase the pain that I've caused you, but if you let me, I'll love you for the rest of my life." J.R. walked out of the empty Ewing Oil building and into his Cadillac Allante. "Sue Ellen, what the hell are you doin' with that idiot Barnes?" He slammed the car door, adjusting his mirrors. "Sue Ellen, I love you with all my heart and soul, you're the other half of me that I desperately need." J.R. frowned, "Why can't I tell her that?"
Sue Ellen carefully opened the jewelry box on the nightstand. The silver bracelet J.R. gave her for their silver anniversary was on top. Sue Ellen had not worn the adornment since the weekend away at the coast, leaving it to collect dust in her box with her other prized items. She wanted to wear it tonight to let J.R. know that she had not forgotten him while she was gone, and that she loved him very much. Sue Ellen lifted the clasp, ready to place it on her arm, when she noticed an inscription inside the bracelet.
To my beautiful wife, without whom, I would be incomplete.
Sue Ellen gasped when she read the sweet words, reaffirmed in her decision to go back to her husband, who had truly changed. Sue Ellen walked out the door, leaving her bags at the house in case tonight didn't go as planned.
Sue Ellen fired up Ewing 2, "It's now or never," she said as she drove to find her husband.
Tonight was another quiet night at Southfork, which was unusual given the number of people at the ranch tonight.
"How is your new house going, Ray?" Miss Ellie asked the ranch hand. The Ewings often thought of Ray as more of a family member then a hired hand; he had been working for Jock on the ranch when he was a teenager, and he never left. Ray loved working the ranch, and Jock loved having him around. With J.R. and Bobby tied up with the company, and Jock becoming too old, the ranch needed a strong person to guide it and make it fruitful. Jock had recently given Ray his own section of Southfork land, and now Ray wanted to build a house of his own.
"It's going might fine, Ma'am," Ray said, proud of his work.
"That's real good to hear, Ray," Bobby said. Bobby had a very special connection with Ray, he became a brother when Gary left the ranch, and the two used to love hitting the town together before he married Pam. On some nights, Bobby could even be persuaded by Ray to out drinking all night.
"Are you gonna have us over for dinner when you're done, Ray?" Lucy asked. Like Bobby, Lucy developed a special connection with Ray Krebs. He was the one person that Lucy felt she could come to when she felt out of place in the family. The two had formed a special bond over the years that could never be broken.
"Planning on it, Lucy," Ray grinned.
The only one missing at the table that night besides Sue Ellen was J.R. He chose to eat alone in his room, all of the happiness downstairs making him sick to his stomach. Looking over the balcony, he saw a familiar car pulling into the driveway. "Sue Ellen!" J.R. stammered, running down the stairs.
"Where's the fire, J.R.?" Jock asked, but he got no answer.
Lucy stood up to look out the window. "Sue Ellen's come back!" she exclaimed, her long blonde hair whipping across her face as she urged the family to come to the window and see the absent Mrs. Ewing
Sue Ellen Ewing got out of the car, and stood face to face with her husband. Maybe I should have called him first, she thought silently, knowing that one look from him could turn her to mush.
"Darlin'," J.R. said hesitantly, eying the bracelet on Sue Ellen's left arm.
"Hello, J.R.," Sue Ellen whispered, noting his unhappy and depressed attitude.
Neither one said anything, both too nervous to speak. They each sized the other up. Damn she looks stunning, J.R. said as the moonlight danced on her brown hair.
"They're not saying anything!" Lucy cried, struggling to read lips from her view at the window.
"Lucy Anne Ewing, sit down in your chair and stop spying on J.R. and Sue Ellen," Miss Ellie scolded, hiding a smile – unable to hide her own curiosity at the situation outside - , hoping that Sue Ellen would stay for good.
Sue Ellen twiddled her thumbs, losing her nerve at the sight of the intimidating man before her. I knew I should have prepared a speech before coming, Sue Ellen regretted silently, looking into J.R.'s big blue eyes.
J.R. couldn't stand the silence for another moment. "How have you been, Sugar," he said gently, remembering the stomach pain that she had suffered before.
Sue Ellen smiled, how sweet of him to ask. "I'm fine, J.R, and yourself."
"I've been better," he said flatly. He saw no point in hiding the truth from her, still holding resentment towards her for leaving and being with Barnes. "Is this a visit, or are you coming home?" he finally asked.
Sue Ellen took a step back, stunned by J.R.'s audacity. He never was one to beat around the bush. "J.R., I came here to talk to you," she said, beginning to lose her nerve.
J.R. sensed her anxiety, knowing that at the moment, the power between the two was up for grabs. "Alright."
"Shall we go inside?" Sue Ellen asked, attempting to prolong the subject.
"It's a lovely night, Sue Ellen, let's talk out here, and say what we have to say." His anger was beginning to get the better of him; he wasn't prepared for her to come tonight, to have all of his old feelings rushed before him.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen began nervously, "some things have happened since I left." She debated whether to open with the pregnancy, or tell him that she wanted to work on the marriage first.
"I know," J.R. said gruffly, "you've been mighty busy, Darlin'."
Sue Ellen flinched, his common term of affection for her was steeped in sarcasm now, reminding her of the old days when the two constantly fought. "What do you mean by that J.R.?" she demanded, refusing to back down.
J.R. came toward her, prompting her to take a few steps back. "You haven't been alone the entire time, have you, Sue Ellen?" Sue Ellen opened her mouth to protest, but J.R. wouldn't let her speak. "No, you've been seeking company with others." He forcefully grabbed her by the arms, turning her around so that her back was towards the house.
"He looks mad," Lucy noted, silently enjoying the soap opera playing before her.
"Try and contain your happiness, Lucy," Bobby interjected, "this is your uncle that you are talking about."
"I know," Lucy laughed her eyes shining.
"What the hell do you mean, J.R.!" Sue Ellen snapped, taken aback by his tone as she fingered the sore, red area on her arms where J.R. had exerted his influence.
"Cliff Barnes, Sue Ellen!" J.R. shouted. "My god, I thought that you two were over, apparently you're just beginning!"
Sue Ellen's eyes opened wide, her left arm coming up as she slapped J.R. across the face. "How dare you accuse me of having an affair!"
Bobby, Jock, and Ray flinched at the loud smack that hit J.R.'s cheek.
"I think I heard the name Cliff Barnes," Lucy said, stunned. "Has she been staying with him for the past two weeks?"
"She most certainly has not," Pam said defensively, standing up next to Lucy, no longer willing to be just a casual watcher. As of this moment, the Ewing family was involved in the battle between J.R. and Sue Ellen.
"Really, Pam?" Bobby asked, joining the women at the window. "Do you know where she's been staying?"
J.R. took Sue Ellen by the arms, "Don't you ever slap me again, you hear me! You are my wife!"
Sue Ellen flinched at the pain from the pressure, Is he going to hurt me, she wondered silently, knowing that her husband had certain buttons that were not to be pushed. At that moment she didn't care, sending an intense glare at her husband. You won't get the better of me J.R. Ewing! "After all of the affairs that you've had, you have some nerve to go off on me because of something that never happened."
"Never happened! I have proof," J.R. shouted.
"Proof of what, J.R.!" Sue Ellen stepped forward, causing him to take a few steps back.
"Does it really matter now what I know or don't know?" Pam asked, as ten eyes looked at her for an answer.
"Yes!" Bobby and Lucy cried together.
"Pammy, Honey, this is my brother's marriage that we are talking about. You can't hide information from the family."
"You are a Ewing," Lucy seconded. "I can't believe you knew all this time."
"How do you know that Cliff isn't involved?" Ray asked.
J.R. and Sue Ellen had had some infamous quarrels over their ten year marriage, their marriage never reaching a stable state. They were two passionate people, both reluctant to back down from a challenge, neither one willing to admit that mistakes were made.
"You bastard!" Sue Ellen cried, struggling to fight her emotions.
"Tramp!" J.R. countered. J.R. stepped backward, still holding onto Sue Ellen's arms, now creating a harsh fingerprint. Sue Ellen struggled to release herself from his hurtful grasp, but he won out.
J.R.'s eyes turned a stormy, blue color. How is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? His left foot tripped over one of John Ross's pool toys.
"AH," J.R. screamed, feeling his balance slipping as the twosome fell into the icy Southfork pool.
"J.R," Sue Ellen cried as her body was pulled into the water with J.R.'s.
"Good Lord!" Miss Ellie exclaimed seeing the spectacle from the safety of the ranch. Now every person in the house was watching the couple in the water, spellbound.
"Sue Ellen!" J.R. shouted, rising out of the water, searching for his cowboy hat that had fallen of his head.
"AAHH," Sue Ellen exclaimed resurfacing from the opposite end of the pool, her red dress clinging to her body.
J.R. caught sight of his wife, drenched from head to toe and fuming. A loud laugh came out of J.R.'s mouth. If she could see herself now.
"J.R., look what you've done!" she shrieked, ready to cry at any moment. She angrily brushed her long, auburn mane out her eyes, enraged by her husband's aggressive behavior. What upset her most was that he found everything so amusing.
J.R. swam towards his wife, laughing uncontrollably at the situation.
"What is so funny," Sue Ellen demanded.
"Darlin'," J.R. said coming towards her, tripping once again, going under the water.
"J.R.!" Sue Ellen called out, a smile crossing her lips at the sight of her husband getting another dunking. "J.R., are you alright… NO!"
With one quick motion, J.R. pulled Sue Ellen underwater with him. The two resurfaced together, both laughing at one another.
Sue Ellen reached for J.R.'s Stetson as it floated her way. She carefully picked it up, making sure that the hat contained water as she placed it on J.R.'s head. "Here you go, Darling," she laughed.
J.R. let out a yelp from the cascade of cool water. Sue Ellen struggled to swim away from J.R. and get towards the steps at the shallow end of the pool, but J.R. was quicker as he pulled her into his arms.
"I'll get you for that, Honey," J.R. guffawed as he lowered Sue Ellen's body into the pool. J.R. gently pulled her body out of the water and was greeted with water that Sue Ellen spewed in his direction.
J.R. held Sue Ellen's body against his with one arm around her waist and the other on her back. "Sue Ellen," J.R. said deeply, taking in the features that he hadn't seen in weeks, realizing that he was falling in love with her all over again. Oh, how I love you. He looked deep into her hazel eyes and gave her a passionate kiss.
"They're kissing!" Lucy cried out in disbelief.
Miss Ellie smiled at her eldest son, while Jock and Bobby laughed.
Time stopped for Sue Ellen as she tried to react to J.R.'s impromptu action. Her head told her to stop but her instincts within her betrayed her needing of him. A soft moan came from Sue Ellen's throat as she ran her fingers through J.R.'s soaked hair, not caring about the freezing water from the pool or how the scene appeared to the residents of Southfork. Her eyes were closed, as she rallied J.R.'s passion with her own, the weeks of being apart increasing her desire for him.
J.R. held onto her, and for that brief moment, she was his. J.R. gently pulled his mouth away from hers as Sue Ellen met her husband's loving gaze. "Let's go inside, Sugar," J.R. finally said, picking her up in his arms and carrying her out of the pool.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen whispered in his ear as the two went up the stairs, ignoring the stares of the onlookers in the dining room.
"I think that everything will be put back together," Miss Ellie said finally, the first to speak.
"I sure hope you're right, Miss Ellie," Jock nodded.
J.R. gently placed Sue Ellen on the bed, his fingers touching her wet cheek. It took all of his energy and willpower to keep from kissing her again. Two weeks was a very long time to be apart from the woman you loved. Sue Ellen had never looked more lovely to J.R. than she did at that moment. Her eyes met his as he slowly rose, fetching her a towel to dry off with.
Sue Ellen rested her head on the bed. She had wanted him to continue the kiss that they started – she craved, needed his touch. But she was too afraid to initiate the intimacy, unsure of what J.R. would think.
J.R. looked out the balcony of the bedroom and let out a gentle laugh.
"Now what is so funny?" Sue Ellen asked, wanting in on the joke.
J.R. turned to his wife, "We've been married for ten years, and you have never ever gone into the pool with your clothes on."
"No I haven't," Sue Ellen admitted. "But you have," Sue Ellen laughed, recalling a few scuffles between Bobby and J.R. that had gotten out of hand, resulting in one or both of them falling into the Southfork water.
"Yes I have," J.R. admitted, "but this time was my favorite."
"Oh," Sue Ellen asked coyly, wringing out her long hair, the water from the pool making her auburn hair glisten. She said nothing else, dying to know what her husband was thinking.
J.R. handed Sue Ellen a bathrobe, their fingers touching in the process. "Here you go, Darlin'."
"Thank-you," Sue Ellen smiled, her eyes locked on J.R.'s stature. She wanted him in the strongest way, hungry from their contact in the pool, tempted to just take him in her arms and not look back. "This wasn't exactly how I pictured this evening," she said, trying to break the tension that she was feeling.
"Oh," J.R. laughed, "you weren't planning on going for a swim?"
"J.R.!" Sue Ellen chided, throwing a pillow at him while trying to hide her smile. "Do you know what would have happened if someone had seen us?"
"I think someone did," J.R. smiled, referring to the curious Ewings downstairs.
Sue Ellen blushed a peachy red, hoping that no one – especially Jock and Miss Ellie – had seen her outside.
J.R. noticed Sue Ellen's uneasiness, and slowly came towards her. "I wouldn't worry about anyone seeing anything, Sugar. It will all be forgotten by tomorrow". He flashed her a warm smile, and she responded in kind. He gently took Sue Ellen's arm in his, the color from the grasp still apparent. "Sue Ellen, I – I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know," Sue Ellen nodded, placing her fingers on top of his.
"Are you in pain?" he asked gently, compassion filling his voice.
"I'll be fine," Sue Ellen assured.
J.R. gently kissed Sue Ellen's wound, once again regretting his enormous temper. "I swear, I don't know what came over me."
"J.R.," Sue Ellen said gently, "you may not have been the most attentive or faithful husband, but I know that you would never cause me physical harm."
J.R. smiled at her little jab towards his behavior. If she gave him one more chance, he would wipe away every bad memory he had ever created. His eyes fell onto the silver trinket he had given her on their anniversary. "You wore the bracelet that I got you tonight."
"I thought it went well with the ensemble," Sue Ellen replied, suddenly nervous by J.R.'s presence.
"Is that the only reason?" J.R. asked quietly, knowing that she was hiding something from him.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen said nervously, "there are some things that I meant to say to you while we were outside.
"Um-hum," J.R. nodded, entranced by her beauty. "I had a few words for you myself." J.R. slowly moved his hand to her shoulder, "But right now all I can think about is that kiss that we shared." J.R. leaned into Sue Ellen, but met only air when she pulled away from him.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen said quietly, backing away towards the door, "now is not the time or place to…."
"Stay the night," J.R. finished, pulling her body towards his. Sue Ellen shook her head in fear, not wanting to let a night of passion clog her mind or feelings. She wanted him and hated him at the same time, the two conflicting thoughts thundering through her mind. If she slept with J.R., there would be no turning back. He would win. She couldn't give into him just yet, there was so much that needed to be said and accounted for.
J.R. sensed her tone, gently relaxing his arms on her body, sending a message that he would not cause her harm, or force her to do anything against her will. "Stay the night," he whispered, more of a request then an order.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen stammered, tears began to form in her eyes, she was losing her resolve. "No, no please, please let me go." Sue Ellen raised a hand to bat J.R. away, but a pain hit her stomach. "Ah."
"Honey," J.R. came towards her, grabbing her shoulders as he guided her to the bed. "I am not letting you go anywhere tonight, not when you're in pain."
Sue Ellen half-smiled at J.R., he was so compassionate and considerate to her. "Why, J.R. Ewing, I never knew you cared that much about me."
J.R. caressed Sue Ellen's cheek with his left hand. "I have always cared about you, Honey. I just – I never showed it the way I should have, and I'm sorry."
Sue Ellen touched J.R.'s hand. "We've both made mistakes in this marriage."
"My biggest one was never telling you that I loved you."
Sue Ellen blinked her eyes, trying to fight the tears. J.R. was saying everything she wanted to hear. "Why didn't you tell me this," she sobbed.
J.R. wrapped his free arm around Sue Ellen's waist. "I took you for granted, Sue Ellen. I always assumed that you would be here. I never thought that I could lose you."
"J.R." Sue Ellen rested her head on his chest. "Do you know how long I've waited for this?"
"Ten years." J.R. gently lifted Sue Ellen's chin with his thumb and forefinger, slowly leaning in for a kiss.
Sue Ellen broke away from J.R.'s touch. She desperately wanted them, but they needed to talk. "J.R. we need to talk."
"In the morning," J.R. urged, placing feather kisses on her neck. "Right now, all I want to focus on is you."
"J.R.," Sue Ellen said weakly, "I can't – I…"
"I love you." Any reservations Sue Ellen had were hushed by J.R.'s gentle touch as the two made love for the first time since the incident with the diaries.
Mornings were always spectacular at Southfork, especially when you had someone to share them with. The sunlight from the window's gently stirred Sue Ellen awake, her body wrapped in J.R.'s. J.R. lovingly gazed at her resting form, getting very little sleep last night.
"Mornin', Darlin'," J.R. said, giving her a gentle good morning kiss on the mouth. He carefully tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Mornin'," Sue Ellen sighed, sitting up in the bed. "Were you watching me sleep?"
"Guilty," J.R. threw up his hands in admittance. "You were just too gorgeous, Sugar."
"J.R," Sue Ellen blushed, lowering her eyes to escape his amorous stare. Fear encased her body, she had given in to him last night, made herself vulnerable, and now she didn't know what was going to happen. Was she going to leave again?
"Sue Ellen, about last night…"
"J.R.," Sue Ellen interrupted, "please let me speak first."
"Sue Ellen," J.R. protested, "I shouldn't have said what I said outside there. I…"
"Let me, explain, J.R," Sue Ellen said, kissing J.R.'s cheek, which he took to resemble forgiveness, or at least a sign that she did not hate him.
"Sure, Darlin'," J.R. said, pulling her up against his body.
"I suppose you found out where I was staying."
"It was by accident," J.R. said, "I was driving around at night, and I saw you – with Barnes."
"You had me followed?" she asked disappointedly, hoping that J.R. wouldn't have stooped to such means.
"You won't believe how close I came to doing it, Darlin'. I wanted to know that you were safe, but in the end… I couldn't go through with it."
Sue Ellen smiled, caressing her husband's cheek. "You've changed, J.R. The old J.R. would have stopped at nothing to bring me back to Southfork."
"I suppose I have changed," J.R. chuckled. "The night that I found you – I was so upset I decided to go for a little drive, and when I saw you and Cliff together…"
"Would it have bothered you if I had another affair with him?"
J.R. looked down at his wife, "I'd be devastated."
"That's exactly, how I felt all those years that you spent with those women. You will be happy to know that I am not having an affair with Cliff. I ran into him that afternoon, all we did was talk."
"Really?" J.R. smiled, relieved.
"I was rather lonely those few weeks away from you J.R. I had never lived alone before, and the experience was both exhilarating and frightening at the same time."
"Did you learn anything?"
Sue Ellen smiled, "I found strength that I never knew I had. It felt so wonderful to know that I could survive on my own."
A small frown crossed J.R.'s mouth; he was very happy with Sue Ellen's newfound strength, but there was still the possibility of her leaving him yet again.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen said softly, her fingers touching the nape of his neck, "I missed you very much."
J.R. nodded. "How much more time do you need, Sue Ellen?"
Sue Ellen rested her head on the pillow, her hands covering her face. "J.R., you really hurt me last night. How could you think that I would cheat on you?"
J.R. turned Sue Ellen over so that she was resting on his stomach. "Darlin', I can't apologize enough for what happened last night. I saw you two together, and my temper got the better of me," J.R. stroked her shoulder length hair, "I honestly couldn't blame you if you did decide to be with other men, after the way I've treated you all these years," J.R.'s voice began to crack, "I don't deserve you."
A tiny tear fell down J.R.'s cheek. Sue Ellen gasped, stunned at his show of emotion, a rare occurrence for the man who was so stoically calculating. "J.R.," Sue Ellen soothed, "I love you very much." Sue Ellen's eyes began to well up. He was just as afraid and unsure as she was. "I could never cheat on you. The fact that you thought that I could…" The tears began to fall down her cheeks, streaking her otherwise flawless face.
J.R. could have kicked himself for assuming that Sue Ellen would choose the same ruthless route that he had for all of those years. He gently kissed her forehead, maintaining his composure, "I never should have doubted your love for me, Honey. In all of the years we've known each other, you've always been by my side. Whether I was right or wrong, you never once abandoned me when I needed you. You have given me so much, and I have given you nothing in return. All I want is one more chance with you, Honey. One chance to correct the mistakes I made. We could be so happy together. You, me and John Ross."
Sue Ellen rested her head on J.R.'s chest, tears falling onto his body. If only it were that simple. "J.R., there's more to it than that."
"What is it, Darlin'?" J.R. gently asked, cradling her in his arms, tilting her chin up so that he could see her, tenderly wiping at stray tears.
Sue Ellen couldn't speak, her tears falling harder.
"Sweetheart," J.R. sat up, holding her against his body, "you can tell me anything."
Sue Ellen's tears continued as J.R. slowly ran his finger through her hair, vowing that if he were to have one more chance with Sue Ellen, he would make it his last, erasing all of the bad memories and tears away.
"Sue Ellen?"
Sue Ellen looked into her husband's eyes, "Someone came back into my life recently, someone that I've been keeping from you."
J.R. said nothing, praying for the strength to be there for Sue Ellen.
"I'm so sorry, J.R. I never should have let it go on as long as I have."
J.R.'s mind was flooded with questions, wondering who the man that made a claim to Sue Ellen's heart was and how far along he had gotten. He chose to say nothing, snuggling Sue Ellen to his body.
"It started months ago… I wasn't going to let it go that far." Sue Ellen dried her eyes with a tissue. "It was all so innocent, he was my college boyfriend, back in town after all of these years. I started a friendship with him."
A look of concern crossed J.R.'s face, wondering how far the friendship had gone.
"What's wrong, Honey?"
Sue Ellen sighed, "I feel so guilty for hiding the friendship from you for so long; all this time, I was seeing another man while you were trying to make things right between us." Sue Ellen got off the bed, putting on a bathrobe as she brushed her hair.
J.R. got up and wrapped his arms around Sue Ellen's waist. "I don't want you feelin' guilty over a secret friendship."
"It was more than a friendship for him, J.R. He's in love with me."
J.R. turned Sue Ellen so that she faced him. "How do you feel about him?" His eyes poring into hers.
"I don't love him, J.R.," she said confidently, placing her arms around his neck. "You are the love of my life. It took time apart for that to really sink in."
"I wish you never had to leave."
"I'm glad I did, I needed to be away from you, J.R., to see how I felt. Everything was so confusing; I've never had two men love me at the same time."
"You don't know how happy you've made me, Sweetheart." J.R. let out a happy sigh, "The three of us will have a wonderful life together."
Sue Ellen presented J.R. with a wide smile, "That, my darling, is where you are wrong. The four of us will have a wonderful life together."
"Four?" J.R. questioned, Sue Ellen nodding her head, "Sue Ellen, you're pregnant?"
"That explains the stomach pains," she laughed.
J.R. lifted Sue Ellen off the floor, twirling her around the room, kissing her fiercely on the lips. "Another baby!"
Sue Ellen laughed as J.R. placed her on the ground. "I'm so relieved to know that you're taking the news so well, J.R."
"How could I possibly be unhappy? I have my wife, I have my son, and another child on the way." J.R. looked into Sue Ellen's wide eyes, "I don't think I could ask for anything else."
"Mmm, me neither," Sue Ellen murmured.
"Sue Ellen," J.R. said, kissing her temple, "why did you wear that particular bracelet last night?"
Sue Ellen smiled shyly at her husband, "It was given to me by someone very special."
"Oh," J.R. said, trying to contain his laughter.
"He wrote the most beautiful inscription on the bracelet," she said, kissing his mouth.
"I was wondering when you were going to comment on that," J.R. laughed.
"Did you mean it?" Sue Ellen asked, becoming more serious.
"Yes I did." J.R. kissed Sue Ellen's fingers, "I felt like a part of me was missing."
"I felt the same way," she sighed. "This is the longest amount of time that we've been apart."
"I don't ever want to lose you again."
"You won't."
"I'll have some of the ranch hands get your things from the house."
"I'm not coming back right away, J.R.," Sue Ellen said simply.
J.R. frowned, "Sugar, I thought we talked about everything."
Sue Ellen held her ground with her husband. "We did, J.R., but before I come back here, I want to break the truth to Clint."
"Clint Ogden? He's the friend that came back into your life?"
Sue Ellen nodded her head, "Fortunately, he'll be heading back to California to concentrate on his computer company."
"That poor boy has a computer company?" J.R. laughed.
Sue Ellen glared at her husband, "Unlike some people, J.R., Clint has earned every penny that he has made. Not everyone is lucky enough to be born with a good name."
J.R. smiled, apologizing for his unkind remark. "Be gentle, Darlin'. You're not an easy person to lose."
"I'll let me down slowly," Sue Ellen laughed walking to the closet.
"When you have to leave?" J.R. asked, placing his arms around her hips.
"As soon as you let me leave this room," she said spinning around.
"Well," J.R. smirked, "you might not be leaving for another couple hours, Honey." J.R. dipped her into a deep embrace.
"J.R.," Sue Ellen exhaled, flushed, "I never knew you to be so… passionate."
J.R. laughed, "This is all part of the new and improved, J.R. Ewing."
"I could get used to this." Sue Ellen ran her fingers up J.R.'s neck as J.R. lowered her body to the floor."
"Things will be different, Sue Ellen. I promise."
"We've both made so many mistakes in the past," Sue Ellen murmured as J.R. untied her bathrobe, slowly taking in her unadulterated form, kissing each area. Sue Ellen closed her eyes, a soft sigh escaping from her lips. "Don't stop."
"The past is behind us. We're getting a fresh start, a second chance at happiness." J.R. took her face in his hands. "We're getting a new addition to the family and I promise to be the best husband and father in world."
"Oh, J.R.," the brunette said as she slowly arose from the floor. "I love you."
"And I you," J.R. answered, helping her to her feet.
Sue Ellen grinned as she headed towards the shower. "At the rate we're going, I'll never be able to end my relationship with Clint."
"Well I certainly don't want to keep you from that," J.R. laughed. "Look at it this way: the sooner you end things with your ex-boyfriend, the sooner you can move back to Southfork," J.R. said kissing her nose, "and we can pick up where we left off."
"Well when you put it like that, I suppose I'd better shower and get dressed."
J.R. touched Sue Ellen's bare shoulders, "Would you like some company?"
"Why not?" Sue Ellen laughed, pulling J.R. towards her, "We have a lot of catching up to do."
"We have the rest of our lives together," J.R. assured her as the two closed the shower door.
Sue Ellen surveyed the surroundings of Liz Craig's home. Most of her possessions were packed away, ready to be taken back to Southfork. Sue Ellen straightened a cushion on the sofa, blushing as she recalled her morning of passion with her husband. They had promised each other an entire lifetime together, and know that they both knew what it was like to apart, they would never do it again.
A gentle knock at the door brought Sue Ellen back to Earth, and to the task at hand. Lord give me strength, she silently prayed, anticipating Clint's arrival.
"Hello," she said warmly, taking the moment to memorize his profile, a face that she would never see again.
"I never thought that you would bring me to your special hideout," Clint commented as Sue Ellen took his coat.
"I hope you don't mind, but I made us lunch," Sue Ellen said, gesturing for Clint to take a seat.
"You were always a wonderful hostess."
"I made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, for old time's sake," Sue Ellen laughed, recalling the stolen minutes that the two shared on campus, picnicking in the grass, forgetting responsibilities.
"As I recall, you made an excellent sandwich." Clint took a healthy bite, relishing the woman in front of him. Clint was convinced that today was the day that Sue Ellen would announce that she was leaving her husband and coming to California with him.
Sue Ellen sat on the sofa; her legs elegantly crossed one over the other, maintaining her image of the perfect lady. "Clint, I called you here for a special reason."
Clint smiled, knowing that his moment had arrived, his years of wondering and hoping were finally coming to a head.
Sue Ellen took Clint's hand in hers as she replayed the words in her mind. It's never easy to break a person's heart, Sue Ellen thought as she gazed at Clint's happy expression, knowing that he was unprepared for the news he was about to receive. "I have enjoyed our time together these past few months. I do not know where I would be right now if it were not for you. You have kept me strong during some very difficult times in my life, and I can never repay you for what you've done."
"Your happiness means a great deal to me, Sue Ellen," Clint assured, squeezing her hand.
"I don't hold our last argument against you; I know that I caught you off guard." Sue Ellen took a sip of lemonade, searching for the right words to use. "You were my first love, Clint. Meeting you my freshman year of college was one of the best things that ever happened to me. We connected on so many levels; everyone thought we were the perfect couple: the star athlete and the head cheerleader. At one point, I even believed that we were going to get married."
Clint searched her tone for answers, wondering about where she was leading him.
"Clint… I am not the same person that I was in college. The feelings that I once had for you are no longer there."
"Sue Ellen…" Clint interrupted, a panicked line circling his forehead.
"Please let me finish, Clint. I will always love you, you have enriched my life in so many ways, but I'm not in love with you anymore."
"Maybe if you gave it time," Clint said quickly, searching for a way to keep her with him.
"Clint, it wouldn't be fair for either one of us if I went to California with you."
"Sue Ellen, I would give up the company, my soul just to keep you."
"Is that what you want, Clint? To be with someone who could never love you in the way that you love them? Clint, you deserve to be with someone who can be as committed to you as you are to her. You shouldn't settle for someone who will never truly love you in the way that you want them to."
"Does he have anything to do with this?" Clint asked darkly.
"J.R. hasn't influenced me in any way; I came to this conclusion on my own."
"Let me, guess," Clint said bitterly, "you're going back to your husband, back to your precious Southfork, back to your precious money."
"Clint, please don't be angry."
"Don't be angry, the woman that I love is going back to a man who has inflicted emotional cruelty on her time and time again. He treats you like an ornament. Is that what you want for the next fifty years!"
"J.R. loves me, he always has. He just hasn't always shown it."
"You just keep telling yourself that on those dark and lonely nights when he's with another woman. He loves you for now, Sue Ellen. He loves you when it's convenient for him, what's going to happen in five or six months when he grows tired of you and moves onto someone else?"
"He loved me enough to let me go, Clint! I can't say the same for you!"
"He doesn't want you, Sue Ellen. In the end, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of pain and sadness. Are you willing to do that to yourself and John Ross?"
Sue Ellen stood up defensively, "Listen to yourself, Clint. You tell me that you have never lost your feelings for me, yet you didn't fight for me when you had the chance when we were in college."
"You broke up with me; you broke up with me for J.R."
"All of those years that we spent apart, you could have found me, and told me how you felt. But you got married, to a wealthy woman who could finance your latest venture. Even after she died, you never bothered to find me. I was trapped in a loveless marriage while you were out making a nice little profit for yourself. Then, after all of these years, you come and find me, no warning, no contact, and you drop a bombshell on me, expecting me to swoon and fall into your arms as if the last sixteen years never happened."
"Sue Ellen…"
"You selfish son of a bitch, you wouldn't know real love if it was standing in front of you. You want to know what real love is. My husband was so desperate to win my affections that he stopped at nothing to prove himself to me, granted not all of his methods are appropriate, but he cares. He is a man of action; he does not let time fly by. When I needed to leave home, he let me. He didn't fight me, or call me selfish, or berate me for my decision, he let me go, so that I could find myself, and be happy."
Clint struggled to interject, but Sue Ellen refused. "You know what you are, Clint Ogden? You are a coward, afraid to act on your actions. You left me for dead, not caring how I was faring with J.R. You pretended to befriend me when in the fact the only thing in your mind was stealing me away with you California, away from my life here. You never cared how I was feeling. You do not care about my happiness, you only care about yourself."
Clint stood up, his face red with rage and embarrassment. "You just remember that I won't be there to pick up the pieces the next time he breaks your heart!" he shouted, slamming the door behind him.
"I think I'll live," Sue Ellen smiled.