Thank you for the millionth time to all of my devoted fans for all of your amazing reviews and encouragement. You give me such an ego about this fic. Just look at all of the reviews I already have, you guys are awesome!
Disclaimer: And remember, I don't own Loveless. (I also don't own Jell-O, please don't get any high expectations about that though, nothing happens with Jell-O.)
-------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 11
Ritsuka had insisted that he go to school today. Soubi wouldn't have it, but the boy was persistent and told him that it was for the good of his grades. The truth was that he really needed to get out of the apartment. It was odd around his fighter lately and the Zero boys were...well, they were themselves it was just that, being around them all day was a bit disturbing.
He had finished all of his homework the night before in an attempt to block out the constant onslaught of thoughts about his mother, brother, Soubi and Ritsu.
Sometimes you just have to be firm with Soubi...
Those sometimes though, were rare and usually didn't work.
He lay on his stomach on Soubi's bed. The fighter had won in the end, although he still had to go to classes, leaving the three elementary-schoolers alone.
In what way was this a good idea? Surely if Natsuo and Youji wished to actually do something to him, without anyone there to stop them, they could.
Of course, Ritsuka wasn't scared of the other boys, just...cautious.
Luckily, the two mischievous cat-boys were off somewhere else in the house doing something. He didn't really care, as long as they didn't attempt to molest him.
-----------
"Youji, stop pulling my hair." The burgundy-haired boy whined from his seat on the floor in front of the couch.
"Was I? I hadn't even noticed." The other boy said innocently, letting the few strands fall out of his hand, catching them in mid-air.
Natsuo turned and glared.
The other boy laughed. "I can't help it, Natsuo's hair is so pretty." He stated, wrapping the hairs around his finger.
The fighter looked him. "What are you doing?" He questioned, gesturing to his sacrifice's finger. "I'm just playing." The burgundy-eyed boy answered.
Natsuo briefly thought about grabbing the other boy by the shoulders and flipping him over his head. He couldn't do that though, he might break the coffee table.
He settled for pulling on Youji's arm, causing the boy to fall off of the couch and onto the floor next to him.
His sacrifice growled, Natsuo laughed and tousled his green hair. Craving revenge, Youji pulled on his fighter's shirt collar and brought their lips together in a crushing kiss. The other boy moaned, moving to get a better angle.
"Isn't it a little early for that?" Ritsuka's voice came from across the room.
That didn't stop Zero though, they continued kissing, tongue's joining in the equation. The dark-haired boy tilted his head, watching with a sort of fascination. Didn't they have to breathe? It was obvious that they'd had lots of practice.
The two finally broke free for air. Youji licked his lips and looked up at his partner. "Did you eat any candy today?"
"Only one of Kio's lollipops." The other replied. Ritsuka tried his best not to listen."Hey Ritsuka, wanna taste?" Natsuo questioned with a wink. The dark-haired boy blushed and walked into the kitchen.
The other sacrifice punched his fighter in the arm. "What? It was just a question, how can I resist? He's so cute." He smiled. "Besides, he has Soubi to teach him that stuff."
In the kitchen, the dark-haired boy's cheeks were now as red as...well, they were pretty red. He was just glad that his own fighter wasn't here, he might have done as they said.
"Why aren't you at school anyway?" Natsuo asked from the other room. "Soubi...made me stay." The other boys giggled.
Ritsuka walked out of the kitchen, a cup of apple juice in his hand. He sat down on the couch, Zero followed, sitting on either side of him.
The violet-eyed boy took a sip.
Youji licked the side of his face.
Ritsuka nearly choked on the fruit juice. "What the-"
Natsuo reached over and pinched his partner. "I was only hitting on him." He stated, outraged. "And I only licked him." The other replied matter-of-factly.
The green haired boy smiled at the other sacrifice. "You taste good, like...salty, but sort of sweet." "Stop that! I don't really care what I taste like." Ritsuka yelled, his cheeks becoming pink again.
-----------
Soubi sighed, writing down another trivial answer on his paper. He had wanted to stay home with Ritsuka, but unfortunately Kio had reminded him that they had an important test today that he couldn't miss.
So, he had joined his friend in class today, although he'd much rather be at home with his young sacrifice. He had an odd feeling about leaving him alone with the Zero boys all day.
-----------
Frustrated, Ristuka stood and walked to the door. "I'm going out."
"Soubi won't like that very much." The straight-haired boy commented smartly.
"Soubi said not to go to school, he never said I couldn't leave the house. I need to get out of here, so I'm going for a walk." Ritsuka replied.
Natsuo arched an eyebrow. "Where?" He asked.
"I don't know...wherever I end up." The dark-haired boy replied with a sigh as he left.
---------
After walking for what seemed (and may very well have been) a few hours. Ritsuka found himself in the park.
Typical...
This was a place that he couldn't forget. It was where Soubi first kissed him, where they'd had their first spell battle against Breathless...it all felt like so long ago. In fact, many thing felt like they happened too long ago. His brother's death as well as other things...
Mom...
It was hard to believe that he hadn't seen her in over a month now; that everything had happened. He glanced down at his cast, the constant reminder of just how much he wasn't 'Ritsuka' to her.
He sat down on a bench, watching the trees sway in the wind.
Ritsu had been right when he'd said that she didn't recognize him. Perhaps there wasn't anything besides his appearance that resembled her lost son.
The image of a woman with long brown hair and a beautiful smile passed through his mind.
He missed that smile. That was one that she hadn't worn since before Seimei died and the only one she'd shown it to was Seimei.
He had been lucky when he would occasionally glimpse that smile while waiting around on the other side of a wall, watching his brother calm her down. She'd always loved Seimei the most. Despite everything though...he would give anything to see her smile like that again.
Hearing the sound of a twig breaking, Ritsuka turned. Noticing who it was, he scooted over on the bench.
"I thought I might find you here." Came Soubi's smooth voice, it reminded him of the wind. The tall man sat down and leaned back.
"Soubi...?" The other questioned timidly. "Hm?" "I-I want to go see my mom." The dark-haired boy replied, not looking up.
"Ritsuka..." To say that the man was shocked would be an understatement.
"Right after everything happened...I was too shaken up to think about her that much and after that, I was busy getting used to being around you so much as well as the apartment and then school...but now, I think I can handle it." Ritsuka admitted.
"After everything that she did to you, you still want to see her?" The fighter asked, confused. He just couldn't comprehend it. "Soubi you don't understand, she's my mother." The boy said, looking at him.
"For God's sake Ritsuka, she beat you for I don't know how long and then even broke your arm. Not to mention, how much psychological damage she's probably done you. A true mother would never have acted the way she did, a true mother would never have hurt you-"
"Soubi!" Ritsuka cried, violet eyes held a pleading look. "I need to see her."
The blond could tell that he wasn't going to change his mind. They sat in silence for a few moments. "Okay then." Soubi replied quietly, staring down at the ground.
"Are you mad?" His sacrifice questioned. There was no reply, the man just shook his head. "Please Soubi, I need you to understand this...I need you to be okay with it." The boy pleaded, putting a hand on his slender arm.
"I'm coming with you. I don't want her near you without me in the room." Ritsuka gave him a half-smile. "Okay."
------------
When they got home, Soubi took out the phone book. After some calls, an appointment was made for Ritsuka to see his mother.
---------------------
The next day in school, as expected, Yuiko was immediately at Ritsuka's side, asking him about the bandage on his face and the one around his neck.
Kio had joked that he looked like Soubi with his neck bandaged like that. He had blushed at that comment. Now, the pink-haired girl didn't joke, only worried.
"Ritsuka-kun, what happened?" "Nothing really, I just fell, I can be so clumsy sometimes." He replied with a smile. Luckily, it seemed that she accepted his answer.
The girl nodded and sat down.
Ritsuka-kun, it's obvious that what happened to you wasn't an accident. Don't you trust me?...
She sighed, looking to the front of the room as Shinonome-sensei began the day's lessons.
------------------
A few days later, the day had come.
He wasn't exactly excited about seeing his mother again and the feeling in his stomach told him just how nervous he was. All day he had thought about what to say, how she would act and the clock just ticked on slowly, mocking him.
When the final bell finally rang, he said his goodbye's to Yuiko and Yayoi and walked out of the building. Soubi was standing in his usual spot, waiting for him.
"Ready?" The flaxen-blond asked, though the question was directed at himself more than the boy.
Ritsuka nodded and they walked together to the bus stop.
---------
Standing outside of the hospital, Ritsuka's legs felt like Jell-O. Everything up until this point had been easy and now that he was here, it didn't seem that way. A strong hand grasped his own,
urging him to move forward. He weakly squeezed back.
From there, it seemed as though everything happened in fast-forward. Soubi spoke with a few doctors and before he knew it, he found himself in from of a door. He blinked, confused for a moment before realizing where they were.
Room number 213, his mother's hospital room in the psych ward.
He looked up at his fighter. Sapphire eyes locked with his and he reluctantly let go of the older-man's hand.
They had discussed it, Soubi would be allowed to stay in the room as long as he didn't approach his mother, or say anything to her. The doctors had assured them that she was progressing quite well, but Ritsuka knew how easily her mood could change and he didn't want to risk it. Soubi had agreed because he didn't want to risk himself having to do anything that would result in Ritsuka being taken away from him.
Swallowing, Ritsuka opened the door.
Aoyagi Misakisat in a medium-sized white hospital room, on a hospital bed covered in white sheets, with white pillows on it. She stared out of a small window at the hospital courtyard.
Upon hearing the two enter the room, she turned. Her dark brown hair was nicely combed and she looked well enough. The look on her face was not angry or happy, but calm and at ease.
Soubi sat on a metal chair next to the door that was most likely used by doctors during consultations. Ritsuka stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He was wearing a black turtle-neck shirt to cover his bandges, the last thing he need now was for anyone to find out about what had happened.
The woman stood and hugged him warmly. "Ritsuka, I've missed you." He returned the hug stiffly.
"Come, sit beside me." His mother said, sitting back down. The dark-haired boy complied. "M-mom, you look well." He said, refusing to make eye-contact.
"So do you, are you eating properly?"
Sure, she was acting like a mother, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't do anything. Ritsuka knew better than to think that. "Yes." He replied.
"That's good, they tell me that you have someone taking care of you. Are they doing a good job, making sure that you go to school and get your rest?"
Ritsuka looked over at his fighter. "Yes, Agatsuma-san over there...he takes very good care of
me." He said, paying close attention to his words.
The woman followed his gaze and looked at the flaxen-blond. Soubi smiled his porcelain smile. Ritsuka watched his mother in anticipation.
Her lips turned upward slightly. "Hello." She said calmly. Ritsuka's hands began to shake, he noticed this and clasped them.
She hasn't done anything or yelled or even mentioned what happened, has she forgotten?...
"Mom, do you remember what happened? Why you're here?"
She looked at him, her expression suddenly sad. "Yes...I wasn't sure at first, but the doctors told me everything. I couldn't believe what they were saying. I thought, 'There's no way that I could have done this to my Ritsuka.' They told me that what I did was wrong and that I have a problem. Since then, they've been helping me get better. I understand what I did now, and I'm sorry."
Soubi clenched the side of the chair, his knuckles turning white. Though his face remained indifferent, expressionless as ever.
He couldn't believe it, this woman had committed such terrible acts, hurt Ritsuka, his beloved Ritsuka and now she was sorry.
Sorry! She beat him, made him bleed, broke his bones, traumatized him and now she's SORRY!...
If he squeezed the chair and tighter, he'd bend the metal.
Calm down, breathe, focus on your breathing...
It took a little while, but he was finally able to control his rage.
It wouldn't do any good to hurt his mother, Ritsuka would never forgive me and they would take him away from me...
"How is your arm?" The brunette asked, tucking some hair behind her ear.
"It's gotten much better." Ritsuka replied truthfully. "It's actually supposed to be taken off in a few days." He pulled up his sleeve to reveal his cast, drawings and all. They included, among others, the butterfly Soubi drew for him as well as a poorly-drawn portrait of the cat boy himself drawn by Yuiko.
"How cute, did your friends draw these?" Her son nodded.She examined the butterfly closely. "My, this one is lovely."
"Sou-...Agatsuma-sandrew that, he's an artist."
Soubi smirked, it was always nice to receive compliments from his sacrifice.
The woman smiled. "How nice." She stated, sounding sincerely kind.
Ritsuka was nervous. This was mother, his mother and she was acting...unusual, to say the least. He didn't exactly expect her to outright beat him, they were in a hospital full of people and Soubi was in the room after all, he just expected something. For her to say something, or get angry. He had told her that he was living with this man, this older man...The woman had gone ballistic from just seeing him, knowing that they were even acquainted and now she had even smiled at him; after all that Soubi had said to her, she smiled...it all felt wrong.
Am I just being paranoid? She's being nice and the doctors have been working with her. Maybe she is getting better...
"Ritsuka?" His mother asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Her tone told him that it hadn't been the first time she had tried to get his attention.
"I-I'm sorry mom, what did you say?" Despite what he had been thinking, he could recount a number of similar situations and he always ended up getting hit. No matter what, there was still the possibility.
"I was just asking about how things are going in school." She replied calmly, her hand hidden next to her clenching.
In essence, the boy breathed a sigh of relief. "Fine, everything's great."
That's it, I'm just being paranoid...
"Excuse me, Agatsuma-san, was it?" The blond merely nodded once in response. "Could you please leave the room? I would like to talk to my son alone. It has been quite a while, you understand, don't you."
The man eyed her closely, suspicious, then turned to his sacrifice. The dark-haired boy nodded, standing. Soubi stood as well.
Ritsuka looked up at his fighter. "Go on, I'll be fine." He whispered, the uncertainty in his eyes betraying his statement. Nonetheless, the older man complied, telling himself that he would remain just outside the door in case anything happened.
Soubi left and Ritsuka sat back down. "He really seems to care about you, that's good." This time, though, the woman didn't smile. "Yes, he's a very good person." He replied, scratching his neck.
Bad move.
"Ritsuka, what is that? What happened?" The woman asked, regarding the exposed bandage. "Um, I actually fell during school. It's not all that bad really, just a little bruise."
Her breathing became quicker. "Why are you lying to me?" She questioned. She wasn't angry because of the possibility that someone else had hurt her child, that was for sure. "I-I'm not." He answered, tension building in the small hospital room.
Surely she wouldn't hit him here...
She grabbed his hand tightly. The dark-eared boy winced. "You're hurting me." He stated quietly, she didn't let go. "Why do you always lie to me? I saw the way you looked at that man, you filthy child." She said, her voice becoming darker. Her dark brown bangs masked her eyes.
"Mom please, let me go." He pleaded quietly in a voice more calm than he actually felt. If the doctors saw her hurt him, they might not let him visit her anymore. He hated her being this way, but it was better than not seeing her at all. She was his mother...or something, no matter what. On top of that, he didn't want to hear any, "I told you so's," from his fighter.
"You're not my son, no matter what lies they tell me." She spat.
Her words always cut deeper than any knife ever could.
"...It's a terrible thing when a mother doesn't recognize her own son"...
No, he couldn't think about him right now.
"Please, just let me go." He said, slightly louder.
------
Soubi sighed, putting his glasses back on. He glanced around briefly, making sure that no one was around, then placed his ear against the door.
His eyes narrowed into slits when he heard his sacrifice's plea. No. He wasn't going to allow anything to happen this time.
----
The door opened and Soubi stepped in. He saw the tight grip Misaki had on her son's hand, as well as the boy's pained face. As much as he would have liked to kill the woman right there, he restrained himself.
"The doctor said that we should leave now." The blond said, his voice light. He'd surely had a lot of practice with masking how he was feeling.
The hold his mother had on Ritsuka's wrist loosened and she smiled kindly. "Well, that's too bad. I wish we could have more time together, I'll be looking forward to your next visit." She lied, hugging the boy tightly. His arms remained stiff at his sides.
"Bye." He said quietly when she released him.
Ritsuka stood and opened the door. Soubi turned back and glared at the woman with a look that
said: "If you ever hurt him again, no matter what, I will kill you."
He followed soon after his charge, closing the door behind him. Ritsuka was already a few paces ahead of him. "What happened?" He questioned, long legs helping him to quickly catch up to the smaller boy.
Ritsuka quickened his pace, the sound of his shoes echoing in the empty hospital corridor, Soubi sped up as well.
"You were right, you warned me not to come, but I insisted." The dark-haired boy replied, not slowing down. "In the end, you were right. She's never going to change and I'm never going to be the son she wants, the one she lost." He continued, his voice wavering.
Placing a hand on his slender shoulder, Soubi turned the violet-eyed boy to face him.
He looked past the man.
The fighter took his quivering chin in his hand, making him face him."I wasn't right, you had to see her, I understand that now."
"Soubi, the things she said...it's just like before. She hasn't changed one bit. She's right, though, I'll never be the son that she lost, I'll never be her 'Ritsuka'." The boy stated, tears in his eyes.
"That may be true, but I don't care, none of that matters to me. To me, you are the only Ritsuka, you're my Ritsuka." Soubi assured him, his sapphire eyes reflecting the truth in his words. Ritsuka closed his eyes, tears streaming down his pale cheeks as he leaned eagerly into the blond's embrace.
In the air lingered all of the things both wanted to say, but couldn't find the words to do so.
-----------------------------------------------
I hope you liked it!
P.S.- Of course I couldn't make his mom all nice and such all of a sudden, it just wouldn't fit. And if you need to be reminded, my lovely fans, this is not yet the end.
Please review!