A/N: Thank you to TwilightMundi, who so graciously helped me clean this up a bit. Also to SweetDulci, who can spot a typo a mile away ;)
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As my brain slowly unwound and relaxed, I knew I was on the right path. I was proud of myself, knowing that I wasn't afraid anymore to tackle new experiences. Sure, I had to deal with Jasper and Alice, and Edward, oh and Tanya... but mostly, I was learning to deal with me.
BPOV
When I woke up I was momentarily disoriented. Strange bed, strange person... wait... woman, in bed with me. Tanya looked just as ethereal sleeping as she did awake, and I was certain she would, in fact, wake up looking fabulous, as I had teased her the other day.
I looked at the clock and it was only nine. Not wanting to brunch in my date outfit, I began to gently wake Tanya up by stroking her hair. We were facing each other and I didn't want to just leave... then I realized I had no way to get home even if I did. I could call a cab and try to find the address somewhere, but I went for the direct route.
Moving my body closer to hers, I felt the heat radiating from her. Weaving my hands through her hair, I tucked a strand behind her ear so I could kiss just beneath that spot. Moving a little, I kissed her jaw, and once I got to her chin, I felt her skin tighten into a smile.
"Mmm, good morning, Bella," she sighed, and I smiled.
"Good morning. You do, in fact, wake up looking just as amazing as you do in class every day. How the hell do you do that?"
I had pulled back to look her in the eye as I spoke and I was amazed at the way her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight. She laughed and kissed me gently on the lips. "You're not looking so bad yourself this morning."
Her soft hands were on my body and, while I really wanted to see where that was going to go, I groaned in frustration.
"What's the matter?" she asked, cupping my breast in her hand. Fuck.
"I have brunch with Alice and Rose. It's a thing we do on Sundays."
"Oh, good. Let's hop in the shower and get going." Uh oh.
"I'm all for a joint shower," I kissed her before delivering the next piece of information, "but the brunch is sort of a roomies thing. But maybe I could see you later today?"
She pouted a little, trying to get me to change my mind, but there was no budging. New Bella, thank God, has boundaries.
We showered together quickly, all things considered. I was amazed again at the softness of both Tanya's body and her movements. She washed my hair and body and I washed hers, taking a few extra moments, hopefully unnoticed, to do a little more looking around than usual. I was still trying to figure her out, figure out her body... oh hell, figure out my body.
Throwing on my old clothes, I left my jacket off that time, and Tanya drove me back to the dorms. She walked me to the door and paused for a moment, looking at the floor.
Bringing my hand up to cup her cheek, I leaned in for a kiss. I noticed I felt okay kissing her now, where the first few times I was nervous. It was so unlike anything I was used to, but in a good way. Just as her hand wove through my hair and I was really getting into it, perhaps inappropriately so considering where we were, I heard stomping from behind Tanya.
The stomps made their way to us and we broke our kiss, Tanya looking both horrified and embarrassed.
"Kate," Tanya said.
This can't be good. Kate?
"Tanya," she spat. "Who the fuck is this?"
Tanya rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, are you for real? Are you fucking kidding me? You're going to play the jealous ex-lover card when you left me for a man?"
Ohhh, Kate. Oh my god, they really are going to play this all out in the hallway, aren't they?
Kate stepped toward Tanya, who had taken a step away from me.
"I told you I want you back, Tanya. Are you really going to throw away all those years? All the dreams we had together, the plans we made? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
Kate was crying, trying to lean on Tanya, who looked so torn and conflicted. As this was playing out, the door to my room opened and Alice and Rose stood there, gawking. I wondered how much they'd heard of Kate's confession. I knew Alice would be hurt Edward hadn't told her directly about Kate, and I could only hope they didn't hear.
"Kate?" Alice asked. "Kate, did you just say... all those years and dreams?"
I could tell Alice was trying to hold in the rage and anger, but it began to bubble over at the end of her sentence. I put a hand on her arm to try and calm her, but when she turned to face me, she was shaking and already the tears were pooling in her eyes.
"Oh God, Alice. Edward didn't tell you, did he?" Kate began crying harder, collapsing onto the floor, a heap of sobs.
This is not how I imagined this morning going at all.
I wasn't sure who to comfort first, who to be angry with, or how to feel right at that moment.
"Kate, is all of what you just said true?" Alice asked.
Kate looked up from the floor, like a punished child facing their mother.
"Yes," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I really thought I might someday love Edward, and your family's so wonderful. But dating him just made me realize that I would always love Tanya. I'm so sorry, Alice. I'm surprised he hasn't told you, there's no way he could have been okay with... how it ended."
She was crying through her words, gasping for breath between sobs and speaking, and I was glad Rose had the brain power to go grab a tissue box for her. I mean, I didn't really want to like her, but that didn't mean I wanted to see her drip snot all over my floor, either – quite the crowd had gathered in front of our room.
Alice shook her head and crossed her arms, taking a tissue from Rose to dab at her eyes.
"Seriously, Bella, you pick this one to date? And she's the ex of this girl, that was dating my cousin? Oh, this is rich." Alice's laugh was thick with irony.
Hey, hadn't she learned this the shit my life is made of by now?
"Alice, did you really expect less of me," I laughed, trying to ease the tension.
I looked from Kate to Tanya and back to Kate, raising my eyebrows in a question. Tanya crouched down to get closer to Kate.
"Kate, I told you I needed time and space to think," she said quietly, her voice laced with empathy and emotion.
"I know," she sniffled, "but I didn't expect you to be... dating someone else." The sobs were back.
Maybe I'm not cut out for dating a woman. This is a lot of crying, and she doesn't even know it was a sleepover date yet...
"Neither did I, Kate." Sighing, she looked up to smile softly at me. I could tell she meant this as a compliment, but I just felt sort of dirty. It was obvious Kate was in love with Tanya, and there I was, feeling stuck in the middle like the dirty whore breaking up the couple. No, it wasn't an entirely accurate portrayal of events, but my feelings regardless.
"It's the morning... Oh my god, did you sleep together? Are you bringing her back from your house? Oh my GOD." Kate jut got louder and louder as she spoke, shouting by the end, and stood up, her arms flailing.
Christ, this is the calm and composed pre-med student? Now I was just annoyed. Weren't they broken up? What the fuck. I was really enjoying that kiss.
"Yes, I was bringing her home, Kate. Calm the fuck down," Tanya whispered.
I noticed Alice and Rose had gone back inside, but left the door open. Peeking in, I couldn't see them, but my attention was drawn back to the drama queens in front of me.
"Don't tell me to calm down. Oh, christ, I really fucked everything up, didn't I? Did you sleep with her, Tanya? Do you still love me? Fuck, do you love her?" She was talking non-stop, practically spitting by the end of her sentence. She had turned to glare at me with a gaze of hate channeling the fire of a thousand suns. Not good, not good at all.
Thankfully, Kate had stopped crying.
"Yes, Kate, you fucked everything up. Yes, I slept with her. Did you sleep with him? Yes, I still love you. You can't just push away love like that in a few weeks," she sighed. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes and I wanted to hug her. Of course, I also wanted to live to see the next day, and with the ferocious hyena in front of me, I decided that perhaps hugging Tanya wasn't the best plan.
"You know I slept with him, but you didn't answer me. Do you love her?"
A pin could have dropped at that moment and we'd have heard the wind swooshing by.
"No. I like her a lot, but I don't love her," Tanya whispered, her eyes pleading with me to understand.
My breath left my body. I didn't love her either, but I could see myself maybe loving her in the future. A future that no longer existed, suddenly, and completely out of my control.
On the up side, I guess my afternoon just freed up. Perhaps I'll plan a little Sunday night drinking party.
Eyes welling with tears, I tried to remember the feeling I'd had just a few hours before, Tanya's hand buried inside of me, the sound of my voice as I came bouncing off the shower walls. Surreal, that's what this day is, and it's not even fucking noon yet.
Kate attacked Tanya, showering her with kisses. I could see Tanya resisting at first; at least she had enough consideration for my feelings to try and be polite? It was useless, though, and Kate hopped up into her arms, limbs wrapped around her, forcing Tanya to wrap her arms around Kate, holding them together. They began to laugh, and with each breath they took in together, I felt a little more out of body. Each time they kissed, it was like sprinkling an extra grain of salt on a fresh wound. Some day it would crust up and heal over, but couldn't they see what they were doing?
Alice dragging me into the room literally shook me out of my thoughts. She huffed at Tanya and Kate before shouting at them, "You two should be ashamed of yourselves!" and then she slammed the door closed. I stood, unsure of what to do. I looked at Alice who wrapped me up in her arms.
"I'm so sorry, Bella, so sorry. Are you okay? Come, sit down for a minute. Rose and I picked out some clothes for you to change into. We're burning this outfit in effigy and then we're going to get the most fattening French toast we can find, okay?"
I laughed, even as the tears rolled down my face. Alice was making me laugh and reminding me that someone in the big world loved me. It was right in that moment that I realized that she was worthy of Jasper, and he was worthy of her. And me? I was woman enough to see their connection and step aside, because attraction like that doesn't come every day. Sometimes, the sacrifices we make for our friends and family are worth it, as long as we don't lose ourselves in the process. As I looked into Alice's warm eyes, I made up my mind to give her the gift of love back.
Hugging her back, I let the tears fall more freely. I wasn't embarrassed to cry in front of her and Rose. These were my sisters. Not even half a year into the school term, I knew I'd made lifelong friends. If I had to give up love to have this kind of friendship, it was okay with me for now.
I was snapped back to the present situation when I heard Alice babbling.
"... texted Edward, because I'm going to give that cousin of ours a piece of my mind. I can't believe he didn't tell us about Kate! Oh my god, and how weird is it that you were dating her ex? What a small world."
She was rubbing circles on my back and I decided not to waste the day.
"Ladies, I'm going to go change into the outfit you picked out – thank you. I'll be ready for breakfast after that, okay?"
I tried to smile. Everything was overwhelming me and I needed a moment to myself. I wanted to put in my iPod earbuds and lose myself for a minute or two. Regroup, rethink, recap. I walked to my room and closed the door behind me.
My clothes were laying out on my bed: a bright green sweater, a black cami tank, and jeans. Thankfully they didn't pick out any panties, so I walked to the dresser and grabbed those with some socks, flopping back on my bed when I was done. Reaching over to my iHome, I grabbed my iPod. I plugged in my headphones and closed my eyes.
I felt my muscles begin to ease and release as the guitar began to play and the melodic voice of Jason Mraz Life is Wonderful washed over me.
Letting the song play on, I focused on hearing and feeling the words and sentiment behind what he was saying as he sang it, seemingly, just to me.
I laid quietly as he finished the song. This is life: the good, the bad, it all balances. Waiting for the balance is the hard part. Sifting through the bad to find the good. Holding yourself together through the hurt for the happiness.
I used to joke with a friend that my iPod was psychic and I almost fell off the bed at the next song. It always cheered me up. I got so happy that I docked my iPod again and put the speakers up louder than I normally would be comfortable. As I stood, the song was still in the guitar stage, and I stripped off my clothes. Putting on my fresh panties and bra, I danced around the room as Jack Johnson began to sing.
Forgetting I was half naked, I opened the door and pulled Alice and Rose into the room to dance with me to Upside Down. Sometimes, you just needed to let it out, right?
We all spun around just as the lyrics implored, each of us getting dizzy and flopping onto the bed, huffing, as Jack sang the last few lines to us.
As the strains of 40 Kinds of Sadness began to play, I hit the power button, turning it off, and resuming getting dressed.
"Alice, Rose, get up! I am starving, in dire need of caffeine, and now we have even more to talk about at brunch!"
"Okay, but I need to do this first," Alice said, reaching for the photo of Tanya on my board.
I lunged to stop her. "No! Alice, what are you doing?"
"Bella, you don't want to fall asleep and wake up to this, do you?"
"Alice... You're so sweet to think of me, but yes. The board is for the discovery, and, without being too graphic, well, she was a major discovery." I laughed.
"I don't understand you sometimes, Bella. Why wouldn't you just want to keep the memory but get rid of all traces of her?"
"Because, Alice, I don't need to remove everything from the board that isn't necessarily mine anymore. Besides, I don't think Tanya did anything wrong. It isn't her fault that I got hurt. I mean, I'm technically dating more than just her, you know."
Alice's eyes fell to the floor as she mumbled, "I know."
Oh, Alice. Just give me another hour and once we've got food and coffee, I'm going to make you happy.
I hugged Alice and I'm sure she was confused. I tried to make it seem ordinary and gave Rose a hug, too.
"Okay, let's go. I'm eager to hear all about Rose's date, too!" I squealed and everyone smiled at that. I was pretty sure Rose hadn't spilled the details to Alice in my absence, since she was probably sleeping the whole time.
Alice drove us in her cute little Porsche to a place I hadn't heard of to get brunch. We were already much later than we planned to be, what with the Tanya and Kate drama.
We got seated, ordered, and had coffee all within fifteen minutes and I'd never been more grateful.
"Okay, would it be alright if I went first about Tanya to get it out of the way?"
"Of course," they answered in unison.
I gave them the abbreviated version of our date; I didn't go too far into the details, but I did tell them it was amazing and I felt like Tanya and I really had a connection. Everyone looked sad for a moment, then I reassured them that I really was going to be okay.
"So, Rose, spill... how was your date with Emmett? You stayed the night?" I waggled my eyebrows at her.
She told us all of the details of their date; he took her mini-golfing, which she harassed him for endlessly. She scolded him for "date recycling" and he brushed it off by kissing her, which made us all "awww" and swoon. Emmett was a good guy. I was glad they were getting along.
She swore they didn't do anything beyond a little kissing and fooling around, but everyone agreed it was only a matter of time before they went further.
As we scarfed our breakfasts, each of us picking off the other plates, I tried to think about the best way to bring up Jasper to Alice. I couldn't find any good ways to do it, so I decided for direct.
"So, Alice..." I paused.
"So, Bella..." She smirked.
"What's up with you and Jasper?"
Alice abruptly stopped eating, choking on the bite she'd swallowed.
"Oh god. Are you okay?" Rose said, looking at Alice with worry.
Once I knew she was still breathing, I laughed. "That's what I thought." I shook my head, still giggling.
"What do you mean, Bella?" Alice narrowed her eyes at me.
Too late to back out now, even though I was clearly going to face the Wrath of Alice.
"Alice, it's okay." I took her hand in mine to reassure her. "I saw the way you two interacted on Friday. It's not just you, you know? He sparks with you, he sees something in you and looks at you in a way that I know he doesn't look at me. You have amazing chemistry and now I'm giving you the opportunity. Those two rarely collide, so please, for me, take advantage of it."
I could tell Alice was completely unsure how to proceed. Hell, I would have been, too.
"Bella," she whispered. "I could never do that to you. I mean, come on… first you meet Rose's dream guy from the club, then," she started to laugh, "you go out with Edward's ex-girlfriend's ex-girlfriend." She started to laugh so hard she was choking again. "And now," she said, getting serious. "Now you're ready to give up the person you could be dating because you saw us spark? What does that even mean?"
She looked me in the eyes for the first time since I'd called her out on it, and her eyes were watery, wet, threatening to spill her tears at any moment. I squeezed her hand.
"Alice, have we met? You do know my life story, right? I don't think I'd be Bella Swan if I wasn't falling for my best friends' soul mates and getting tangled in crazy lesbian webs of doom."
The table laughed uproariously at that, and I was thankful.
"Besides," I leaned in and whispered this next confession. "I think it's time I take a little break from dating... but, I will confess I might have my eye on someone else. But, like I said, a break. I'm taking a break," I said with a laugh.
"Oh, Bella, you're too much," Rose said, and I smiled at her.
I meant it, though: I needed a break from all of the emotion of the last few weeks. Needing to wrap up a few loose ends, I texted Jasper from the table asking if he could meet up with me. As long as I was going to play matchmaker, I wanted to do it thoroughly.
We finished eating and sat for a few more minutes chatting, Rose regaling us with stories of Emmett and his bachelor pad. We all pitched in our portion of the bill and as we were walking back to Alice's car I felt my phone vibrate. I let Rose sit up front so I could check it out, and it was a text from Jasper.
You know I'd love to see you. Where/when? -j
I texted him right back.
How about 30m? Your room?
I was praying for another immediate reply, for something to go right in this bizarre day.
Sounds good, see you then. -j
Excellent. The plan was in place, now I just had to convince Jasper that I was okay with it. I knew he was going to go all southern gentleman on me and try and pull some crap, but if I could bust down Alice's resistance, I could certainly take down his as well.
Alice pulled into the parking lot and we all walked back to the room. I told the girls I was going to see Jasper and they both hugged me tightly.
"It'll be okay, I promise," I whispered to Alice as I hugged her, and she squeezed me tighter.
Walking to Jasper's, I thought about how I was going to handle the conversation. I had no fucking clue what I was going to do or say. I decided to start out with the Alice thing and then hopefully he would let me vent about Tanya.
Knocking softly when I arrived, Jasper opened the door quickly. As I passed him, he gave me a soft hug and a kiss on the cheek. I suddenly remembered there was nowhere to sit but that fucking bed, and I cursed my stupid luck as I hopped up, trying to be as casual as I could.
"I'm glad I got to see you this afternoon, Bella. I had a nice time yesterday, did you?"
"I did. Sorry again that my friends interrupted. You know, though... I think it might've been good, all things considered."
He plopped onto the bed beside me, taking my hand in his, then raised an eyebrow at me.
"All which things considered?" he asked.
No time like the present.
"Jasper, I want to say something, but will you let me say everything I have to say before interrupting?"
He nodded and I smiled, realizing I might have sounded a little bitchy. Our bodies were turned toward each other, hands between us. He was rubbing his fingertip along my hand, tracing nervous patterns into my skin.
"Jasper," I said quietly. "I saw the way you looked at Alice yesterday." He started to interrupt, so I put my hand up, reminding him of the rules he agreed to. "No interrupting, let me finish. I should've said, I saw the way you two looked at each other, because it wasn't just you, Jasper. Alice is like the closest thing I have to a sister, Rose too. I saw whatever it is between you, and I know the reality between us. Is what we have amazing? Of course."
I had to pause and take a deep breath; it was really hard to fight the urge to kiss him just then, knowing I wouldn't be intimate with him ever again, and knowing what he was capable of. Focusing on Alice, I reminded myself of how happy she'd been that night with Jasper, then how miserable she was when I told her I knew, thinking she'd been a bad friend and betrayed me.
"Could what we have last forever? I don't know, maybe... I can't predict the future. I do care for you a great deal, that much I know."
I paused to look at him, to really look into his eyes so that he would know I wasn't just tossing him away or discounting any feelings he might have for me, too.
Looking at him, I expected him to say something, but he just stared back at me with sad eyes. Jasper slid over to me and took me in his arms, this time a much different feeling passing between us. I no longer had the urge to kiss him or touch him beyond a friendly way. It was as if in saying the words out loud, I had been telling my heart the truth and finally allowed myself to accept it.
As Jasper held me, I let out a deep breath, the culmination of several tense hours and drama-filled conversations. Before I could even think of telling him about the Tanya drama, I wanted to find out what he was thinking about Alice. If he wasn't going to pursue her, I'd really fucked things up by promising I would make it right to Alice. I pulled back from him slightly.
"Jasper, what're you thinking?"
We sat up; he was facing me and had such a heavy look on his face, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"Bella, I don't know if it's fair to you that because of a few looks or what you think is a spark, that you just drop what we have together."
"Jasper, can you honestly tell me that you don't feel anything for Alice?" I asked.
He shifted his weight. "Well. No, I can't say that, exactly, if I'm being honest."
I brought my hand to his cheek. "Jasper, you're not hurting me by being in love with Alice. I mean, that sounds wrong. Of course, it does hurt because I do... or... did, have feelings for you, I won't lie. But what I feel for you and what you feel for me is clearly a fraction of what you and Alice feel for each other. If I can be okay with that, and I'm the one being left single here, then I think you should just say 'thank you, Bella' and get on with it," I said, laughing.
He laughed softly and brushed some hair out of my face. "Bella, can we still be friends?"
"The best of, Jasper. The best. In fact, let's start now..."
Sitting up, I crossed my legs and Jasper mimicked my actions. I began to recount, in great detail, my morning with Tanya and Kate.
We were nearly rolling on the bed with laughter. Tears were leaking from my eyes, I was gasping for breath. Suddenly, Jasper sat straight up and looked at me funny.
"Wait. Bella, oh my god. Bella! Did you have sex with a woman?"
I blushed. It couldn't be held back. "I did, Jasper..."
"Ooh. That's so fucking hot."
We laughed again and I noticed it was getting dark outside.
"Shit, Jasper, I have to get home. I haven't had time to do my homework all weekend. Can I give Alice your cell?"
"Of course." He got up and walked me to the door, his hand resting on the knob. Before he opened it to let me out, he looked me in the eyes and smiled. "Thank you, Bella."
"No thanks needed, friend," I said, smiling.
He laughed and watched as I walked down the hall and to the elevator. I decided not to go straight home – I needed a pastry and something tasty to wash it down with, and okay, maybe I wanted to see Edward. I popped into the cafe and looked around; no sign of him. Damn it.
I got my usual cinnamon chip scone and opted for an herbal tea since it was so late in the day. Picking a table by a window to people watch, I sat down. A few minutes later, I saw Edward walk out from the back of the cafe. I gave him a smile and a small wave, not wanting to interrupt his work. He smiled back at me and made his way over.
"Bella, I'm surprised to see you here so late."
"Yeah, I couldn't face the room just yet."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Need to talk about it?"
"Are you sure you have time? This might take a minute to get through," I said.
"Yeah, I was just going on my break."
He sat down across from me and as I began to compose my thoughts, I knew exactly how to begin. I leaned in toward him over the table, lowering my voice slightly as I began to speak.
"So, I was going down on this girl... wait, is that too personal?"
We shared a laugh, and I was grateful. I needed to keep this conversation light, the irony too thick and the potential for tears on my part, too great.
"Actually, I'm surprised Alice hasn't told you. Oh, god, she didn't tell you already, did she?"
He looked confused. Good.
"Nope. She did text me earlier, but she didn't spill the beans on anything major."
"Okay, so I wasn't really going down on her, but you'll see the irony of why I began that way. So last week, you told me about Kate, right? Well, at the time, I was halfway seeing someone named Tanya. I never once put two and two together and realized they might be the same girl. This morning, Tanya walked me to my dorm after a... sleepover, and who should we run into? Kate." I paused and raised my eyebrows. "Oh, Edward, it was like, the scene to end all scenes. Kate asking if we'd slept together, declaring her love for Tanya, and then in front of everyone, Tanya saying she didn't love me and wanted to get back with Kate."
Slightly embarrassed, I was looking down at the table.
"You slept with a woman?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Fucking hot," he whispered.
"Funny, that's the second time I've gotten that reaction today..."
"Wait, does that mean... I mean... I'm not judging; are you gay?"
"No, no, I'm not gay. I guess I'm bi? I have no clue. She was the first woman I've ever been attracted to, much less kissed or... you know, done more with."
I was wringing my hands together nervously.
"Bella, are you alright?" Edward reached his hand across the table to put his fingertips lightly on the back of my hand.
"You've only heard half the story, Edward," I said softly.
"Shit, there's more?"
"Oh, so much. So, you actually met Jasper Friday. Remember him?"
"Yeah, I remember," Edward said.
"Okay, so I noticed something funny at dinner, then again at breakfast on Saturday. He and Alice were looking at each other with such moon eyes, I could see them in my head together, forever. I mean, like, all that stars and fireworks shit that happens in movies, I felt like I was watching it happen with them. So, this morning, after the Kate and Tanya drama, I talked to Alice and let her know that I saw the way they looked at each other. Of course, she felt bad, but I told her not to. I mean," I sighed, "the way he looked at her. It's every girl's dream, you know, to be really looked at like that?"
Pausing, I took a sip of my tea and a bite of my scone. Edward bit his lower lip and I laughed internally at how that was my signature move. Well, Old Bella's. He ran his hand through his hair and looked down at the table.
"So, you just told them to be together?" he asked. "You just stepped aside, the same afternoon you were basically publicly humiliated and, well, outed to the entire floor?"
"Christ, when you put it like that it sounds even worse, Edward." I sighed again.
"No, I'm just… in awe at your ability to set aside your feelings. Fuck, Bella, my break's over and I can see Tyler over there flailing his arms at me to get back. Can I see you tomorrow? Do you have time for lunch, maybe? You never did get to tell me your tragic tale of woe," he said, smiling.
"I think I'm free for lunch. Jot down your cell number and I'll text you in the morning, okay?"
"Okay, sounds good." He took a sheet of paper from his pocket and wrote down a phone number. He asked for mine but ran out of paper, so he wrote it on his hand, and it made me laugh. It was such a throwback to junior high, writing on your hand.
Smiling, I watched as he took my empty cup and plate back with him. Thoughtful.
I waved on my way out the door and walked back to the room. Alice and Rose were on the couch watching TV. I could tell Alice was eager to find out how my trip to Jasper's room went, so I didn't bother to make her wait.
"He likes you, Alice. He wants you to call or text him tomorrow." I smiled at her. "Truly, I love you both, and I'm glad for you. He asked if I still wanted to be his friend, and I hope that's okay with you, Alice, because I would like to."
She leapt off the couch and hopped into my lap, kissing my face.
"Bella, I love you, I love you. You're so sweet and good to me. Of course you can be his friend, of course," she said, hugging me tight.
"Oh, Bella, I don't deserve you. I feel so terrible, like I broke you two up. I'm so sorry."
"Alice, stop it right now. I mean it. I won't have your relationship with Jasper start on a sour note. I'll tell you the same thing I told him – we might have been happily married, but he would never look at me the way he looked at you at dinner and breakfast. Besides, maybe you're just freeing me up for the right guy to come along and sweep me off my feet."
"Or girl," Rose giggled.
We fell into one big hugfest on the couch and I padded off to bed shortly after. Changing into my pajamas, I spent far too long thinking about the whole fucked up day I'd just lived through. The love and dating thing wasn't working out so well, so I decided it was time to branch out the 'Discovery' portion of my life. I had plans to doodle out a checklist of things I wanted to try and slowly work my way through it. I made a mental note to add my notebook to my messenger bag in the morning so I could work on it during class.
Norah Jones woke me with her crooning, asking me to go away with her.
I smiled and stretched in bed. It was going to be a better day, I could feel it. Something in the air had changed, and I was happy. Happy for Alice and Jasper, hell, I was even happy for Tanya and Kate.
Walking out to start the coffee pot, I spotted a white envelope on the floor in front of the front door. Rose and Alice's door was still closed, so I assumed they were still sleeping. I picked up the envelope and flipped it over, realizing it was a CD. The label read simply, "Bella" – a computer printed label, giving me no clues who left it, or what it even was.
As I was turning it over in my hands, Alice came out of her room.
"What's that?" she asked sleepily.
"I have no idea," I said. "It looks like a CD. The label has my name on it."
"Ooh! Go play it!" Alice was hopping up and down.
I had to use my computer to play it, but as soon as the machine booted up, I popped the CD in. My music player opened automatically and I could see the song come up. I pressed play and Rose walked in, joining Alice and me as we listened to the mystery CD.
Unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield began, and I soaked the words. It was the perfect way to start my day and I had no clue who to thank for it.