Rating: T

Disclaimer: I own none of the Atlantis Characters but I do own Alex. If you want to use her just ask

Authors Notes: Apologies for the Vita Rumpo (Which is your actual Latin, it means Life Interrupted) but now the Daughter is back to at school and Maria is finished, hopefully, things are back to normal.

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I'm making my way down to the med bay with my left hand up around my ear, I've sliced two of my fingers and I'm bleeding profusely. Usually I'll wrap a plaster around the cut and carry on, but even I could see these were serious cuts so instead of being frog-marched down to med bay by Mick I went of my own accord, I guess my college lecturer was right, it is better to cut yourself with a sharp knife. I wander through the door and see the figure of Nurse Yvonne Chapman, a fellow Brit

"'Ello babes what you done this time?" she says, Yvonne's born and bred in the East End of London, she always makes me think of Peggy Mitchell from Eastenders, any minute now she's going to yell "Git aht o' my pub". I take the paper towel tourniquet from my fingers and show her

"Cut my fingers" I say sheepishly, she tuts and starts to clean them up as she calls for Carson

"Carson my darlin' come and 'ave a look at this" she calls out. Carson comes out of a little room looking extremely pissed off

"Oh thank you love, I don't think I can stand it much longer" he said, I look from one to the other

"Colonel Sheppard and Ronon are in there," says Yvonne and Carson's pissed off-ness clicks, I would sedate them if I were in his position "you want me to go and finish whatever it was you were doing". Carson nods

"Aye, thanks love" he says as he hands his notes over, a thought strikes me and I put my good hand over my mouth to try and suppress the giggles, he gives me a quizzical look

"It's just struck me that all East End mothers of a certain age must have had parenting lessons from Mrs Kray" I say. We listen as Yvonne starts shouting, Sheppard or Ronon must have back-chatted her about something, she stops shouting and there is absolute silence from the two of them, Carson starts to laugh.

"Aye, they'll never learn that it's not good to cheek Yvonne" he says, I have this picture of her grabbing Ronon and Sheppard by the ears, banging their heads together and sending them to bed without supper. Carson has hold of my hand now and is examining my fingers, I hiss as pain shoots through my hand "sorry love, that's a couple of nasty cuts you have there"

"Knife was sharp," I say by way of explanation.

"You're going to need stitches" he moves to get the equipment he needs "and then you'll have to take a week off". I open my mouth to protest "ye can still do your paperwork, but no handling food 'till the stitches come out, now a local is not usually necessary for a couple of stitches, it'll hurt but I'll be quick" he says. I snort with laughter

"Are you sure you want to do that, you know me they'll be able to hear me swear on the mainland" I say, I have a low pain threshold Carson reconsiders

"Aye, I think you're right love," he says as he gets the local ready.

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I now have two fingers bandaged and strapping around my hand, something tells me that Carson doesn't trust me. I can't cook and I can't knit I'm going to go berserk before the weeks out; I trudge back to the kitchen to give Mick the good news. I carry on with the paperwork, thanking God or whoever the 'Big Guy' is in these parts that, in a fit of boredom, I'd filled the freezer with cookies and cakes a week ago, I take a couple of batches out and wait until they thaw out so I can take them to the med bay staff.

Sometime later, I wrap the cookies up and head for the med bay, after presenting them to the staff I head for Rodney's quarters. He's been out of the med bay for a few days now, I went to see him a couple of times while he was on his detox thing but all he did was rant and rave about how this was all my fault. It didn't bother me as I'd seen it all before with my sister, now I was going to see him with peace offerings.

"Come in" he says, I open the door and see him sitting in his chair, twiddling his thumbs

"Hey Rodders" I say

"What do you want" he replies

"Came to see how you're doing and to give you these" I say producing a bag from behind my back

"I don't want anything" he says petulantly

"Not even double choc chip cookies" I say. His face breaks into a look of relief

"Gimme" he says and I hand them over with a smile, he delves into the bag and takes a bite out of one of the cookies

"Oh thank you, you have no idea how much I've missed these, the Voodoo practitioner and his High Priestess won't let me have anything I like" he says. I smirk, I wonder if Carson and Yvonne have any idea of Rodney's nickname for them,

"Now now" I say

"They're watching me you know" he says and I wave at the camera

"Rodney, they watch everyone" I lean forward to whisper to him "when the security guys get a little cocky I give them a little 'entertainment' they can't look me in the face for days" I say with a wink. His jaw drops

"You strip in front of the camera?" he says and I nod, he bursts out laughing

"I bet you've scared the hell out of them" he says

"I'm pretty sure I've sent one guy screaming to Dr Heightmeyer" I reply.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks

"Doing what?" I reply

"This, being nice to me, I know it was you that told Carson about the power bars" he says, I sigh

"I've been there, I do know what you're going though, sort of, 1998 was a bad year for me and half way through 1999 I was diagnosed with depression so they put me on anti depressants, I didn't want to take them but the Doctor promised that they weren't addictive but after a year I stopped taking them. I became more of a bitch than usual for a few months as the stuff got out of my system but I'm ok now, I still need the odd pick-me-up when things get too much but I take natural stuff for it" I explain

"Which is why you threw a fit when you found out about the power bars" he said

"Which is why I threw a fit about the power bars and why I insist that nothing artificial goes in mine" I say. There's a knock at the door and Radek comes in

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't realise you were here" he said, oh boy the security guys are going to have fun with this

"S'ok Radek, I was leaving" I say getting up

"No please stay, I'd like you both to stay" he said

"Ok" I say sitting back down, Radek sits next to me. Ah, let the security people gossip.

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AN: Nurse Yvonne really does exist, she works at the same hospital I do and she really does put me in mind of Peggy Mitchell.

I'm slowly getting over my depression one day at a time

Yes, it really is better to cut yourself with a sharp knife, it's cleaner apparently. My fingers and hands look like a map of the London underground with all the cut and burn scars, it's part of being a chef.

Is this the first step in a friendship between Rodney and Alex?

Has Lorne seen a video of Alex stripping?

Does Radek know Alex strips for the security guys?

What will Alex do for the next week now she can't cook and knit?

Will anyone notice if Yvonne swaps places with Barbra Windsor?

All this and more in the next instalment.