Disclaimer: I own nothing, but you knew that already!
I'm so sorry for the late update. Insert you fav. lousy excuse to here Oh and this chapter is dedicated for Kyo-my-Love because she reviewed every chapter of this story in one day. Thank you, you made my day.
Kakashi was still holding Sakura in his arms. He heard that she was crying and all he could do was hug her a little tighter.
"I'm sorry." she mumbled to his shoulder.
"Hmm? Sorry for what?"
"I've been avoiding you. But only because I was scared and confused." she said and she was still crying.
"I know." he whispered.
"You know?"
"I know that you were avoiding me. I just didn't know why but thank you, for telling me."
"You're not angry?" she sniffled.
"No. Why would I be?"
"Well I was avoiding you."
"But for a reason. Don't worry, I'm not angry." he said and kissed the top of her head.
She pushed herself from the embrace and looked in his eye. She just needed to make sure he was not lying to her.
"You're not lying." she mumbled quietly.
"Why would I be lying?" he asked and wiped one tear off under her eye.
"I dunno. Maybe I'm not just used to this. Being with someone and sharing things. And trusting someone to be honest with me."
"You'll get the hang of it." he smiled sweetly at her.
"Will I?"
"Yes. I'll make you." he grinned receiving a smile from her. She started to lower his mask but he stopped her with his hands.
"What? What are you doing?" she asked in a state of confusion.
"Sakura. Do you want this?"
"Why wouldn't I want? I trust you. And I like you." she said truthfully looking at his eye and trying to find out what he was feeling.
"You're sure?"
"Mmm. Pretty sure." she grinned.
"Are you sure that you are sure?" he asked with a huge grin on his face, he had changed their serious conversation into a joke. He received a hard hit to his head which he hadn't even seen coming. He had to admit that she was improving as a ninja and she was improving a lot.
"Of course I'm sure that I'm sure! Honestly! Do you really think that I would say that I really want this even though I really didn't? And besides that'd be lying to me and to you. And I'm not into lying to myself and—"
"—I already got it", he laughed interrupting her, "now that you've stopped talking so much, I can do this."
He kissed her and wrapped his arms around her. For him the kiss felt like learning something new of her, like how she wrapped her arms around him or how her eyes closed when he kissed him or just simply the way she kissed him back. He loved learning and noticing new things about her.
"What?" she asked after she had broke the kiss and he had just stared at her.
"Nothing." he smiled.
"You're mysterious as always."
"Guess so… Hey, by the way, where Ino is?"
"Um. I have no idea. She said earlier today something about emergency and then something about Tenten and then something about her job at the academy." she thought aloud.
"Well, she hasn't changed at all. But hey, I have to go now." he sighed.
"But why? You just came." she said and her voice was filled with sadness.
"I had an appointment with the Hokage 2 hours ago."
"Nothing serious? You're not going anywhere, are you?"
"Oh no. Don't worry. We're just going to talk about a mission." he said and put his hands on her shoulders.
"Alright then. You should go now." she said and pushed his chest a bit with her hands. He took a step backwards letting his hands fall from her shoulder. He scratched the back of his head and he looked like he had something else to say.
"Go. And come by later, ok?" she said looking into his eye, she wanted him to leave as soon as possible because then he would be back sooner.
"Alright, alright." he grinned and vanished with a 'poof'.
Sighing Kakashi stepped into the Hokage's office. He was going to be yelled at, maybe even screamed at by Tsunade. Tsunade was sitting behind her desk which was full of stacks of papers.
"You're late." Tsunade said with a monotonic voice.
So no yelling or screaming. Yet. Maybe she IS getting old, he thought smirking mentally.
"I had to help an old granny with her groceries. You know how much the groceries actually weight. She would've never survived without me." Kakashi sighed and sat down on a chair which was placed right in front of Tsunade's desk.
"Why do you always lie when everyone knows that you're lying? Oh hell, I don't have the time for hearing the answer. I'll go straight to the point. Your mission is over now that Sakura is seeing a psychiatrist, taking medicines and feeling better."
"Alright then."
"But. If you do get some information about her which helps me to understand why the hell she is depressed in the first place, you have to tell me."
"Ok."
"So, you have no information 'bout it at the moment?" she asked and leaned a bit forward, if she had leaned any further, the stacks of papers would've fallen to Kakashi's lap.
"No. Can't say I have." he sighed knowing that he should tell her about the fact that Sakura was raped but he would keep his mouth shut about it. He had promised that to her, and he would keep the promise. Not telling to Tsunade had its own disadvantages too for example she could sign just Sakura and Sasuke to a same mission.
"And you are going to a mission at Friday." Tsunade said and took a pen to her right hand.
"Hm? What kind of a mission?"
"You, Sasuke and Sakura are all going to that mission. You'll steal one scroll from a ninja and after stealing it, you'll kill him. Well, Sakura kills him." she said and signed a paper.
"So it's like a test for her?"
"Yes, it is. I need to know that she'll be able to kill without hesitating. Now, I'll give you this scroll now. It has all the information you need about the person. You have 2 weeks to complete the mission." she explained and handed over the scroll.
"2 weeks?"
"Yes, 2 weeks. Considering who the person is and where the person is, 2 weeks is just good amount of time."
"Ok then."
"You'll leave at 6 am on Friday", she said and before Kakashi could say anything she continued, "this is a mission where you can't be late. Be on time."
Sakura was sitting on a couch. She was hugging her legs, her forehead was on her knees and she was crying. She was crying for the pain she felt in her lower stomach and she was crying for the life which was hers. She hated it. She also hated the fact that she had lost her ability to be happy for the small things in her life. The only spark in her life was the only thing she could rely on, Kakashi. And it only made her cry harder, she felt like failing him. She thought that he had feelings for some Sakura who didn't exist anymore.
She wiped a few tears from her face. She wanted to be the old Sakura again, she just wanted her old spirit back. She even had to admit that her Inner Sakura had gotten quieter and weaker.
Sighing she got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom. She washed her hands and face hoping that the "blood" would go from her face and hands. After she had washed her face 5 times with water she realized that the blood didn't go away.
She opened the cabinet above her and took a bottle of pills. The pills were for her depression. She took one pill, put it into her mouth and swallowed it. Then she took a glass from the sink, filled it with cold water and drank it. She put the glass back with shaky hands, she had started crying again. It made her angry, to not to be able hold burning tears from coming out of her eyes. She wiped the tears from her face hoping that those tears would have been the last ones.
Well, dreams never come true anyways, she thought as she took her tooth brush from her mug of tooth brushes.
Meanwhile…
"Hey! Yo! Kakashi!" Iruka yelled and ran next to Kakashi.
"Hmm? What?"
"Where are you going? Today is the poker night. And we even got a few ladies to join. And with a few drinks, we might get to play strip-poker!" Iruka explained happily.
"I can't tonight."
"Why not? It's strip-poker man! You can't say 'no' to strip-poker!"
"Iruka. Even if you got the ladies around the table and even if you gave them enough drinks, do you honestly think that they'd be more than happy to start playing strip-poker when they're drunk?" Kakashi asked silencing Iruka.
"I guess you're right. But you should still come and see if we get them to play strip-poker." Iruka said.
"I can't tonight." Kakashi said again.
"It seems like you have some better things to do than see some naked female skin." Iruka laughed.
"Your chances to get see some naked female skin is very low with that plan." Kakashi grinned.
"But trying doesn't cost anything."
"Except you have to buy the drinks."
"Oh man." Iruka sighed.
"Yeah, but don't worry, be happy. Maybe you'll get to see some naked female skin, who knows?" Kakashi grinned.
"Sigh."
"Sakura, why are you always drinking that stuff?" Ino asked when Sakura poured some water into a glass.
Sakura was leaning on the kitchen counter and Ino was sitting on a kitchen chair and chewing her fingernails. Sakura turned to see her friend who had stopped chewing her fingernails for a moment.
"It's water Ino. You should drink it." she sighed.
"Why can't you drink something which tastes better?"
"Why? I like water. And besides, you shouldn't complain. I'm the one drinking the water, not you." she grinned and drank some of the cold water.
"So anyways. What was your emergency earlier today?" Sakura continued.
"Oh that. It's nothing. You don't want to know."
"Ok." Sakura sighed, drank more water and after seeing Ino's facial expression she continued, "do you want some? It doesn't cost anything?"
Ino just sneered at her as Sakura put the glass to the table and sat onto a chair.
"So tell me. What are your plans for tonight?" Ino asked with a wicked grin on her face.
"Well. As you can see, I'm already in my pajamas. So it's going to be sleeping mostly."
"I was thinking that we should go to some club and—"
"—No I'm already in my pajamas so I'm not going to go to any club. And besides Kakashi's gonna drop by."
"Kakashi is coming here? And the clock is over 9 pm? And you're just wearing pajamas?"
"It's not what you think." Sakura sighed knowing exactly what her friend was thinking.
"Yeah, right. Whatever you say girl… Whatever you say."
"You don't believe me?"
"I never said that I don't believe you. It's just that even if you didn't think of dancing tango horizontally maybe he is thinking about that. And the clock is way over 9 pm and you are wearing pajamas."
"So you think that—"
"—I'm trying not to think."
"Fine."
"But now, this girl is going to go a club and find the perfect one night stand."
"Good luck." Sakura sighed as Ino got up from her chair.
"I don't need luck because I'm good. Oh, and don't expect me to be back early tomorrow. Or maybe tomorrow at all."
"Yeah. Yeah."
"Ok, then. C'ya!" Ino said as she left the room.
Sakura heard a loud 'bang' and then she knew Ino had left.
"C'ya." she sighed to the empty room.
She started to think why she had asked Kakashi to come see her later. She thought of every possible reason but there was no reason. She just wanted him to come later, or maybe the reason was just the want to see him.
Is want a weakness? Want can drive people do many things and it can weaken the spirit. But is it a weakness? Don't ask so hard questions! Shut up. Well don't start asking questions when you want me to shut up! Would you just please shut up? Nah, don't feel like it. You're killing me! Yeah baby, I love you too. What the fuck! It depends. What? Just if you can't shut up, can you be less confusing! It depends if your want is a weakness. Depends what the want makes you do… If you start training harder physically and mentally, it's not a weakness. But if it's making you sadder and stuff, it's definitely a weakness. If it makes you give up certain things, it's a weakness. You're right…
She got up from the chair and dragged her body to the couch and laid herself onto the couch. She could feel how tired her body was. She wanted to sleep forever.
"Sakura. Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep." she said and slammed her hand to her forehead.
"Why you shouldn't fall asleep?" Kakashi asked receiving a scream for an answer. He walked closer to the couch to see her.
"What did I do now?" he asked and bent over the couch to see her face.
"You scared the shit out of me! Stop sneaking into other's apartments like that!" she yelled.
"I'm sorry. But the door was open."
"That damn Ino." she sighed.
"So you have any extra room on that couch?" he asked smirking. She looked at him for a second and grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to the couch. He landed hard on her. Then they started twisting their bodies on the couch so that he was under her and she was just lying on top of him. Her right cheek was on his chest and his hands were on her back, keeping her from falling down or running away.
"I'm so tired." she said quietly.
"Sleep then."
"Mmm. But would I be killing you if I slept on top of you? Can you breathe?"
"Yeah I can. Oh, one thing, we have a mission the day after tomorrow."
"On Friday?"
"Yeah."
"I'd better get some sleep then. I need my strength for the mission." she mumbled to his chest and soon she was fast asleep.
Friday, 5:59 am.
Sakura was leaning to a wall while she and Sasuke were waiting for Kakashi to appear.
She was panicking. It had been so long from the last time she had been alone with Sasuke. The fact that there weren't others around them freaked her out. She was avoiding his gaze, she wasn't talking to him and she was playing with a kunai, just to make him know that she was ready to throw it at him.
She quickly looked at him and his back was facing her. A quiet sigh of relief escaped from her lips. She was relieved that he wasn't trying to talk to her or doing anything else.
She heard a 'poof' somewhere above her so she looked up just to see Kakashi staring at her. He was on top of the wall. She looked at her watch and then him.
"You're on time. Almost." she sighed not knowing how she should react.
"Good morning to you too." he grinned and jumped off the wall.
"Oh, good morning!" she said quickly trying to hide her blush.
"So, where's the mission?" Sasuke asked and walk next to Sakura.
"At the Lightning country." Kakashi answered.
"Oh man. It takes several days to get there." Sakura sighed.
"That's why I packed a tent for us!" Kakashi grinned.
Oh man. I might as well as die on this mission… Sleeping in the same tent with Sasuke… Oh man, Sakura thought and realized that she was already falling behind. They had already started walking.
"Kakashi. Why Sasuke is on this mission too?" Sakura asked when she had caught up with the guys.
"Because the Hokage thought that you two need to get used to working with each other." he answered.
"Well, is mine and Sasuke's teamwork that bad?"
"Yes. It's worse than bad. You don't have it at all." he pointed out.
"It's not my fault that he is such a bastard that it's impossible to even talk to him!"
"That's what we are trying to correct." Kakashi sighed knowing that it would be hard considering that he tried to rape her. He might even try to do it again.
Sakura fell silent. She was glad that Kakashi was on the mission too: she had less to fear when he was with her.
"Ok. Lets move to the branches." Kakashi said and they all jumped to the branches.
"We will be crossing the sound country, aren't we?" Sasuke asked.
"Yes, we will cross it." Kakashi sighed.
"How are we going to do that without drawing any attention to us?"
"You'll see then."
A/N: I know that there wasn't a lot of action in this chapter. But just wait for the next one… This story is going to be longer than I expected, a lot longer, so if you have any wishes or anything just leave a review/send a message or e-mail me.
PLEASE REVIEW!
-danax