Fast update, because there's only one chapter left after this, and since I've got it already written, there didn't seem much point in waiting. Thanks a lot for reviewing, and I'd love to hear thoughts on this.

Chapter 11

"He's so tiny." Lydia's voice could only be described as a coo. "Look at him. Look at his fingers. They're tiny."

"So cute." Lily sighed. "Isn't he cute?"

"Sure is." Rose refused to look up. She was holding the baby, and knew that the second her eyes met anyone else's, she'd be forced to pass him over.

"Don't get any ideas." James said swiftly, looking at Lily. "You and Scorpius are too young for kids."

Lily looked up at him, blinked, and gave herself a brief moment to decide whether to be annoyed or amused. She went with the latter because her overall mood was light. More than light. The atmosphere in the room made her doubt any of them would ever feel low again. "'Kay. Thanks for reminding me." She smirked at him, then fixed her gaze on her cousin. "Rose, I want the baby."

Ally watched them, her eyes trained on the bundle that was her son. Her son.

"Mum and Dad are on their way?" She asked quietly. Mitch, beside her, nodded. "You should probably sleep." He murmured. She shook her head. She felt exhausted, but no. No sleep, not yet. She wouldn't miss the first few hours of her son's life, no matter how tired she felt. "Don't you wanna hold your nephew?" She asked him, smiling slightly.

"I...I might hurt him. He's tiny." Mitch looked half embarrassed, and Ally grinned at him. Later, she'd force him to hold his nephew and get over the fear. But for now, she could let it go.

"OK. We'll talk about that later." She looked over in time to see James take her son from Lily. He gazed down with such awe she had to look away. Deal with it later, she reminded herself.

-------------

"Hey."

The first thing Ally saw when she opened her eyes was James in the doorway. She was in her bed, she realise after a long moment. "The – the baby?"

"Downstairs. With you mother. He's fine, he's sleeping." He crossed the room, brushed at her hair. "You look better."

"Thanks." She murmured, then smiled. "James. I have a son." Her eyes were alight, her face glowing, and he wondered why it had taken him so long to realise how he felt. He was drowning in love for her.

"A great son." He lifted a finger. "Grip like a vise." Then, grinning, he turned his hand, showed her deep marks where her nails had dug into him. "Just like his mother."

She flushed, but smirked. "I'm sorry, I guess." He'd been right beside her, all the way, letting her crush his hand, his other arm tight around her, encouraging her. How could she not love him? "Is, um, everyone still...?"

"Just your parents, Lydie and Mitch. Lily and Rose took a million pictures which are, even now, being circulated around the family. But Lydia was adamant that no one bother you for a while, so I don't think you'll get visitors till tomorrow."

"Right. OK." There was no awkwardness, which relieved her impossibly. Nothing had changed, even though she now knew how she really felt.

"You, ah, made things up with Mitch?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "We're better than we've ever been, I think. There was some stuff...well, it's all worked out now."

"Ally, I, um, I really am sorry I – well, I guess I sort of ran away. I'm sorry. It was wrong." He didn't look uneasy, she noted, as some might when apologising. He looked genuine.

"S'OK. It was...I realised, I can actually manage on my own. I lived alone for a week. I know that's not very long, but now I know I can manage it."

"It's liberating, isn't it?" He said with a smile. "When I bought this place – everyone thought I was crazy, I know – I was determined to live alone, manage alone. Terrified me. Hardly slept the first night. But it's amazing to know you can manage it." He ran a hand through his hair. "Too quiet though. Sometimes the silence...well, I'm not used to silence. It would drive me crazy. The house needs people. Kids."

"You'll fill it with them." She murmured. "You always wanted to."

"Yeah. I'll fill it with them. Ally, listen, the reason I left – I was hiding out at Al's, by the way."

She blinked, then rolled her eyes. "I shoulda known. He came by nearly every day."

"He wanted to. You're one of his best friends, too. But, yeah, I practically forced him out the door a few times." He flashed a grin. "Big brother's privilege. I invaded his home then kicked him out of it daily. Anyway, the reason, I realised I was in love with you. Am in love with you."

For a moment, she didn't speak, didn't move, didn't breathe. "Oh." She murmured finally. Her heart beat sped up. Neither was aware of it, but its pace now matched his.

"I, well, Lydia said you, ah, felt the same."

"I do." She looked at the floor, the wall, anywhere but him. "I'm just, I'm not sure how to...Everything's crazy at the minute." She glanced towards him, then away. "What a way to say it."

"I know." He shifted, half awkward, half relieved to have it out there. "Ally, I'm not going to lie and say this changes nothing, because obviously it does. But I've loved you for years. I mean, Lydia thinks -"

"I know. She told me."

"I think she's right. But I can wait, I can wait a little longer. I know you have to worry about your son." He half shrugged, decided against telling her how proud he was of her, how much he admired her for her strength. She'd considered herself weak, he knew, and hoped that she'd never think that way again. No one who could manage the pain, mess and trama of childbirth could be called weak. "You busy Saturday?"

"What? Um, no."

"Good. I'm pretty certain you can arrange a sitter for the baby." He flashed a grin. "The family'll fight over who gets the privalige. I'd like to take you out. On, like, a date."

"A...a date." She repeated.

"Yeah. Maybe Saturday's too soon. You'd worry about the baby." He paused, considering.

"Ah, I...You want to go out on a date?"

He grinned at her. "Well, as much as I'd love to just move back in and marry you, I figure we should do this properly. It's going to be a little complex, with the baby. I figure you wouldn't want to introduce a...boyfriend to him straight away, but, well, I don't much feel like avoiding him. But it'll be down to you, obviously."

"Right. You're serious about this, aren't you? About, about me?" It was a little hard to accept that anyone could be, but she was working on it.

"You...you're it, for me, Ally." He looked at her, right at her, his voice serious. "I don't know how I couldn't have realised it before. This is it. If you don't want to...well, you'll have to say now, 'cause my plans go along the lines of dating, moving in, marriage, more kids, growing old together. Spending the afterlife together, if there is one. It scares me a little, but I know its right."

"James...what about the baby? He's...he's another guy's son. Can you -"

"Don't ask me if I can handle that. You know me. Haven't I always said I want my kids from Phoenix House? I don't care whose blood and DNA they have. That means nothing to me - a kid's real parents are the ones who've raised them, loved them. You know this. I know Archie...he's got rights, and he'll be a part of the baby's life. But I can share with him. The baby's yours, and one day he'll be mine."

"You're awfully confident." She lightened her tone. "For all you know, the date will be a disaster, and I'll decide I don't love you after all."

He sighed. "And then I'll be forced to spend the rest of my days in my brother's spare room, pining for you."

She laughed. "Al'd kick you out eventually."

"Then I'd be homeless and pining for you. I guess we'll just have to make sure the date's a success, to spare me from that life. You coming downstairs, or going back to sleep?"

"Downstairs. I want to see my son." She couldn't help the huge grin. Her son. She had a son.

"C'mon then. You got a name for him? 'Cause I don't think he'll appreciate being called "the baby" when he's older."

"Jeez. Older. He's not even a full day old yet. Don't age him." She climbed out of the bed, walked towards him. "And yeah, I have a name. I chose it last week. Sort of. I wanted to see if it fit, when he was born."

"You gonna tell me it?" He linked his fingers with hers. It had been a long while since anyone had walked around holding her hand, and Ally realised she'd missed it.

"Mason." She said. She'd said it aloud a million times in the last week, testing it out, getting herself used to it.

"Mason." He repeated, then nodded. "I like it."

Mason James, Ally thought silently. She'd decided that about halfway through the labour. But for now, that would be her secret.

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Mason was three days old, had been visited by every member of his blood and honorary family, and was meeting his father for the first time. Ally struggled against resentment that Archie hadn't come to see his son any sooner. And struggled to decide how she felt about her son's eyes, which were so obviously his father's.

"He has your eyes." She said to Archie, who was staring into Mason's basket.

"I know." Distance, Archie reminded himself. He had to keep a distance there. Couldn't bond, couldn't be amazed at the image of his eyes in this tiny, innocent face; couldn't love.

"Do you, ah, want to hold him?" Ally asked awkwardly. Archie looked up, shook his head.

"It's probably better that I don't." He replied. He'd worked this out, spent most of last night thinking about it. He couldn't afford to hold this tiny, amazing little baby, because he couldn't afford to love him. That just wasn't how things were going to work. "I need to talk to you, Ally."

"So you said." She nodded, glanced once more at her son before sitting down. "Talk, Archie."

He sat, hesitated, twisted the hem of his sleeve. "I've sort of found a new job."

"Oh." She was slightly confused. Surely a new job didn't warrant this awkwardness, this level of nerves? "That...That's great. Um..."

"In Tokoyo." He blurted it, then offered her an apologetic smile. "In, um, in Japan."

"Oh." She felt her heart sink as she imagined sending her son, her precious little baby, off to Japan to visit Archie. Of the worry and stress.

"It's, well, it's the job of my dreams, and you, um, you know I love the country." They were going to honeymoon there, Ally remembered. "It's too good an opportunity to pass. I'm leaving next week." He added. "I..."

"You want to work out the arrangements." She murmured. At his blank look, she tilted her head in confusion. "For Mason. Um, custody...visits..."

"Oh." He glanced again at the baby's basket. "No. No, Ally. That's...I think it's for the best if...Mason..." He paused, hearing the name in his own voice was something different, feeling the way it felt to say it was something knew. And he had to ignore it. "Mason will be a lot better off without me. You, ah, I heard you and James are..."

"What? From who?" It was hardly common knowledge - and they hadn't even been on their first date yet.

He tugged at his collar. "When Lydia got in touch, to tell me about – about Mason, I asked her. She, well, she said you were...starting something..."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess we are. I suppose you were right."

He nodded. "And since I know you, and I know James, I figure this is likely to be permanent."

"Hopefully." Ally murmured.

"Right. Mason...He'll be a lot better off with a secure family base. I'll support him, obviously. We'll work out financial –"

"Do you plan to be a part of Mason's life, Archie?" She asked coolly. How, she wondered, how could anyone look into that innocent face and not want to keep him?

"No." It hurt to say the word, but Archie did anyway. He'd made his choices, days before. "I...I'm not ready to be a father, Ally. I...I never was. I know – we both know – that I won't be a good father. Mason's better off with James as his dad. If James wishes to - to adopt him, I'll give my permission..." It hurt, more than he'd thought it would, and Archie knew he was right not to hold the baby. If he did, he might never be able to let him go.

"We'll cross that when we come to it." Because there was something close to pain in his eyes, she didn't ask him all the questions in her head – why didn't he want his son, how could he bear to leave him, why hadn't he looked at Mason and fallen in love?

"Ally, I'm not going to Japan alone. Catarina – Ah, that is, the woman..."

"I caught you with." Ally guessed, and he flushed and nodded.

"Um, yes. Well, Catarina and I are going together. We're...We're together. And she...well, it's hardly fair to expect her to play step-mum, is it? And hardly fair to drag the boy across the world every other weekend." He knew what he was giving up, and felt it break his heart a little. "Um, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't be a father, and sorry I hurt you."

"It's OK."

"I never meant for it to turn out like this."

"I know. Archie, if you don't wish to be Mason's dad, I don't want any money from you. I don't need it, and neither does he." She didn't say it angrily, or spitefully, but fairly.

"Ally, I -"

"No. Archie...if you're willing to let him go, then you can cut all ties. You should cut all ties."

He hesitated, then nodded. "I suppose...there's nothing else...I'll go." He stood, as did she. "I, um, probably won't see you before I leave, so..."

"Goodbye, Archie." She said softly.

"I...Ally, I need you to know...I did love you. Just not..."

"Enough." She finished. At his shocked, guilty expression, she smiled. "It's OK, Archie. I understand exactly. We...we just weren't right for each other."

He nodded. "I...Ally. I said I'm willing to let James adopt Mason, and I am. God knows he'll be a great father." He envied him that. James would be the father he could never be, to the son that he could have. "But...I was hoping...Would it be possible for you to write, occasionally, and let me know how he's doing? Just..."

"Would you like some photos as well?" She asked gently. He closed his eyes briefly, then nodded.

"If it's not too much trouble. I can't be a father to anyone, Ally, not now. Maybe not ever. But that doesn't mean I'll ignore his existence, doesn't mean I don't...feel anything for him. You understand, don't you, that this is difficult, that I'm going what I think is best for him?"

"I do." She murmured. "I'll write you, I'll send pictures. When he's old enough, I'll explain. I won't ignore your existence. But..."

"James will be his father." Archie finished. Ally recalled their date.

"Maybe. I'm not going to rush anything, Archie, for Mason's sake. I'll let you know, though, if we ever wish to take you up on your offer. Will you...will you say goodbye to Mason?"

He swallowed, nodded and crossed back to the baby. Mason's eyes locked on his, and Archie felt his heart break. He'd resolved not to hold him, resolved to maintain a distance. But he couldn't stop himself gently, awkwardly, lifting the boy into his arms.

"He doesn't look like you, except for the eyes." Ally murmured beside him, as Archie studied every inch of the infant's face, committing it to memory.

"No. I guess that's a sign, huh? I'm not meant to be his dad." But it was the hardest thing he'd ever done, to hand Mason back to Ally. She cradled her son as she walked Archie to the door.

"Best of luck, Ally." He murmured in the doorway. "You and James..." He smiled, genuinely. "I doubt you'll need it, but good luck."

She nodded. "You too. With Catarina, with the job. Have a nice life. I'll...if you let me know your address, I'll send you some pictures."

He nodded. "Goodbye, Ally." And shifted his gaze to his son. But not his, he thought sadly. Not really. "Goodbye, Mason."

And he turned, walked, without looking back, painfully aware that he wasn't leaving behind a child, and an ex; aware that when he moved to Japan next week he wouldn't be leaving behind a country and memories. He was walked away from an entire life, a future he could have had.

But he also knew that he wouldn't have enjoyed that life, that future. He was making the best choice for himself, for Ally, and for the baby. And knowing that eased the guilt some.

Ally watched him go, holding her son tightly. "That was the man who helped create you." She murmured. "And he wasn't all bad, not really. But he was never meant to be your daddy." She turned away, moved back into the living area. "Someone else was."