Ireland

Holly clipped her watch onto her wrist and smiled. "I feel better now."

Juliet doffed an imaginary hat. "Glad to be of service, ma'am. Did I tell you I'm going to be in a film? I'm going to play the assassin with a heart of gold."

Mulch snorted. "You'd be a terrible assassin. I could feel you coming from the moment you landed."

Juliet growled dramatically. "I could kill you, Dwarf … with my bare hands."

Mulch narrowed his eyes. "Or … could you?"

Holly groaned. "Enough, for Frond's sake. You're both awful actors."

Sool reentered the room, smirking in a way that didn't seem to bode well for anyone. Except, of course, for himself.

"I've spoken to the Council. The mindwipe technicians will be arriving shortly, you two will be heading back on the next flare, and I will be taking the fast shuttle to a pay rise and Frond's Honor for containing this potentially explosive incident."

"You did all that in the time it takes to use the bathroom?" asked Juliet. "I hope you washed your hands."

"Sool," growled Holly, "you're lower than a swear toad and with lesser morals. If it wasn't for us and the mud folk, you'd still be stuck in a cage in Helsinki."

Sool brushed his lapels. "I had the situation under control."

Artemis entered the room. "Mother and Father have retired for the night. Shall we make arrangements for transport to E4?"

"No need," spat Holly, "Sool's already arranged transport."

"And mind-wipes for yourself," added Sool, sounding smug.

"Hmm," said Artemis, as he brushed imaginary lint from his lapel, "and how will the technicians enter the premises, I wonder?"

"We've been invited," blustered Sool, "you can invite them, too."

Artemis smirked.

"Now why would I do that?"

"You can't keep us here!"

"No," said Artemis, "I can't. But I can un-invite you."

"What?" Sool whipped out his Pocket Policy Pal™. "Can he do that? Is that allowed?"

"Holly," continued Artemis, "you may want to leave the manor grounds before I revoke my invitation."

Holly grinned.

"I'm already gone."

Mulch cleared his throat.

"I'm going as well, Mud-man. Sool would probably try to arrest me for not throwing up."

Artemis nodded, and the dwarf left.

"Sool."

Sool looked up from where he was still frantically flipping pages.

"I'll send in a troll," he blustered, "you'll cry for help."

"Yes," said Butler, "stepping around the doorway, "it worked so well the first time."

Artemis checked his watch.

"Are you going to leave, Sool?"

The elf gulped.

"You need to be mind-wiped …"

"You've got two minutes."

Sool left at a run, still trying to read his book.

Bulter glanced around the room.

"Can you really un-invite them?"

Artemis raised one eyebrow.

"It wasn't covered in the Book. This shall be an experiment. A very poor experiment given the range of variables and inconsistencies in scientific theory … but an experiment nonetheless."

Bulter nodded.

"It has been two minutes."

Artemis nodded.

"I hereby revoke any invitation issued in this household or grounds prior to this statement that could and or would allow any member of the fairy race to enter the household or grounds."

They waited.

"How do we know if it worked?"

"If we wake up tomorrow with no recollection of the People, we'll know it didn't."

Bulter stroked his chin.

"Hmm."

Haven

Holly stretched and propped her feet up on her desk.

"This place is much nicer now."

Mulch nodded as he slurped down his cup of Egg Noodle and Moss – Just add water™!

"It's amazing what a bit of gold will get you."

"And now that we're city heroes, hopefully we'll get some better cases."

"What? You don't like finding lost cats?"

Holly's communicator beeped.

"Short and Diggums Detective Agency,"

"Holly," said Foaly, "it's me."

"I know," grinned Holly, "but doesn't it sound nice?"

Foaly rolled his eyes.

"Wonderful," he replied, "Sool lost his appeal to send in a troll."

"Good," said Holly, "I don't know if Butler could have taken out another one."

"Yeah, well, the Council thinks maybe he could."

"And why do they think that?"

"I may have told them so,"

Holly laughed.

"So, this is a happy ending then,"

Foaly nodded.

"You saved the ugly superior officer, prevented a reveal of our entire civilization, stopped Arty from being mind-wiped again, found out why people were shooting at Arty and stopped them, and got some gold out of the deal. I'd say you did pretty well."

Holly sat up straighter.

"Artemis was being shot at?"

"Yeah, when I first called him, there was a shot and so later when I was meant to be doing accounts I hacked in to the security systems around the art gallery and –"

"Artemis was the target?"

"Yeah, like I was saying, the –"

"Where was Butler?"

"He was standing in front of the security camera and I think maybe that little Arty wasn't there just to admire the –"

"Who was it? Who made the shot?"

"Uh, face recognition software says … Xue Li, Australian resident and gun for hire."

"Assassin …" breathed Holly.

"Yeah, well," said Foaly, "she didn't get him, did she?"

Holly rubbed her temples.

"Who hired her?"

On the other end of the line she could hear Foaly's keyboard tapping.

"I can't find a money trail," he finally answered, "probably conducted in person."

"Who would want Artemis dead?" she pondered.

Foaly laughed loudly.

"Are you kidding me?" he snorted. "Uh, let's start with every waiter, tailor and restaurateur in Europe and then extend that pool to everyone he's ever met."

"I don't want to kill him," muttered Holly.

"Me neither," inserted Mulch, "Hi Foaly."

"Oh," said Foaly, "is Mulch there? Maybe I'm glad now that you only have a pathetically outdated verbal communication unit now."

"Ha," said Mulch, "and maybe I'm glad that even if we did have a visual communication unit, you'd still be too fat to fit all of you in the screen."

"Ouch," said Foaly, "that hurt."

"Mud-whelps," snapped Holly, "seriously."

"He started it," muttered Foaly.

"We've got to warn Artemis,"

"Holly," said Foaly, "you seriously think that Artemis doesn't realize people want to kill him? That's why he's got Butler."

"Yeah," snapped Holly, "and a great deal of help he was at the art gallery."

Foaly rolled his eyes, and then remembered that Holly couldn't see him.

"Artemis will be fine,"

Holly sighed.

"But what if he isn't?"