Something I'll Never Know Series. Chapter 11: Flowers for Yuushi
Standard Disclaimer Applies
This chapter I am going to keep short and simple. And direct to the point. Plus, no one's going to die! Weee!
-oOo-
I've always wanted the traditional Shinto wedding, in a shrine, with only our family and closest friends there. I wanted to see you wearing that shiromuku, I wanted to wear the motsuki. I wanted it simple and a simple kekkon hiroen after was enough for me, as long as I had the rest of my life to spend with you, it was enough. But we did agree, with all the people we needed to invite, and both of us being not so traditional, it would better to have a contemporary wedding, with you wearing that white gown, and that white veil, and me getting stuck in this tuxedo. I knew I should have cut down on those yakinuki chomp down with Gakuto two weeks before the wedding, now I stand here staring at this hideous looking me trying to fit myself in a tuxedo two sized smaller than I was. But it's too late to complain now.
"E? Looking good there cuz! Except a little fluffy on the sides there."
Kenya. I almost forgot about him. All I could do was roll my eyes at my debonair of a cousin who looked better than me in his tuxedo because he didn't have a nervous breakdown and started chomping down yakinuki before the wedding. Because yes, even I, Oshitari Yuushi experience butterflies in my stomach just thinking about this whole wedding thing. I can't believe we were pushing through with this wedding, after all, it was only two seasons back that Atobe lost his wife and kids to that plane crash, and only last winter did Kawamura lose his father to a heart attack. What was I thinking? Pushing for a wedding like this when some of my closest friends are still mourning; how very insensitive of me; should I call it off? Now, that would just be stupid. If I wanted to push back the wedding, I should have done it weeks, no, months ago, not on the day of the wedding itself. Oh, don't you dare get cold feet Yuushi, don't you even dare.
"Oi, Yuushi! Aren't you going to put that coat on yet? The ceremony's going to start in a few minutes."
Argh! Gakuto, no need to remind me. I'm actually doing this, I'm actually going to get married. It was like it was only yesterday that I first saw her in that hallowed halls of the University.
"Their Aster."
"Gomen."
"The flowers, they're Aster."
"E?"
"You don't know anything about flowers do you?"
"Not really."
"You've been staring at the flowers a while now, so I thought I should inform you, they're called Aster."
"Sou dane."
"They were named after stars, since they look similar to one. Asters are a symbol of love, and of daintiness."
"E? These flowers?"
"You look so surprised."
"They don't look very loving to me."
"A lot of things in this world you would not see as loving, or lovely, but they are. Like these Asters, they may look like simple flowers, but they mean something beautiful."
"Gomen, how rude of me, Oshitari Yuushi desu."
"Yamamoto Ayaka desu."
"Yoroshiku onegai shimasu."
"Hajime mashite."
I've always been fascinated on how much you knew about flowers back then, I still am until now, but it has always been a wonder to me why you took such an interest in them. After all, you did go in to pharmacy and I into Medicine, but, well, come to think of it, it does make sense. You sure loved botany, as much as I hated studying it. If it weren't part of the curriculum, I would have given up on it. But you always did keep me going.
I look out the window and watch the bridesmaids go about their blue dresses. I am still a wonder why you choose blue for a wedding color, after all, it was clashing with my hair color as it is. But I must admit, the Lilac on the bridesmaid's hair looked lovely. Come to think of it, I was your first boyfriend wasn't I? Yeah, somehow it gives me pride in knowing that. And today, I am making sure that I'll also be your last.
I hope you like the cake, I know you love cake and Gakuto has put so much effort in baking this one. I mean, I know we were together when we choose what type of cake and the design, but I hope you don't mind the extra thing I had placed on the cake for you. Besides, it was not easy to explain to Gakuto why he had to put Lilies on the cake.
"Ano, Oshitari-san, the wedding planner said we have to wear these flower on our tux."
Ootori can be kawaii sometimes when he acts all innocent like that, but of course, I know for a fact that he did get married before me, which means, he is by no means any more innocent than I will be in a million years. A lovely Anemone, another weird choice for a wedding package, much more to use it as a decorative ornament for a tuxedo. But who ever said this was an ordinary wedding? I never considered it as one, because you are special. What we have is special, and what special needs, is something extra special.
"Ootori-kun looks so kawaii with Kentaro-kun."
"They do don't they?"
"I never thought he'd marry first."
"Well, he didn't Atobe did, he was the first to marry amongst everyone."
"Well, Atobe is not counted, so that makes Ootori the first."
"Forgive me if I failed to ask first."
"Oh, did I hurt my Yuushi's pride?"
"Iie."
"Really?"
"Yamero, you're wrinkling the tux."
"Come on now, I know you're being stiff about this."
"I am not."
"Yes you are."
"Ayaka, you're ruffling the little white thingies from the tux."
"They're Baby's Breath."
"Gomen?"
"The little white thingies, they're called Baby's Breath."
"Oh?"
"They mean everlasting love."
"Well, then, we should use a lot of these little white thingies on our own wedding."
Everything was perfect. The music was perfect. The entourage was perfect. The chapel was perfect. If I must say so myself, I look perfect. And I can't wait to see your perfect face, in your perfect dress walking down that perfect aisle.
"So this is the place huh?"
"Ahum. Do you like it?"
"It's perfect."
"For the perfect bride, I'd give everything."
"You are the perfect fiancé, and I'm sure you'll be the perfect husband."
"And you'll be the perfect wife."
"Right."
The music was playing beautifully, and everyone was dressed to a tee. But something was missing, something that I have been longing to see walk down that aisle.
My heart started beating like there was no tomorrow, I felt weary and anxious, and began roaming my eyes on every living creature in that room. I was staring into Kenya's eyes that were telling me he had no idea why. I looked into Gakuto's eyes, which told me to calm down and collect myself. I dared to stare into Atobe's eyes, which were, if I should say so myself, filled with shock and horror. I stared into Shishido's eyes, which showed fear, yes, fear, not that I would even dare to believe it myself. I tried hard not to look at Ootori's eyes but my desperation led me straight to those brown orbs, which were almost crying. Even Hiyoshi looked like he was trying to decide whether to run away or cry. I turned to find Jirou, hoping that even one of them would not show me that expression; I hoped to find his eyes shut, or to not find him at all, meaning he was snoozing somewhere, but there he was standing in a corner with his eyes wide open in shock. Kabaji tried to abate my gaze, but even in his eyes I could see worry. This was not happening right? This was my perfect wedding.
A creak was heard coming from the door, which made everyone turn their heads. I swallowed hard and clenched my fist, hoping I panicked for no good reason at all. But to my dismay, a young girl dressed in blue came down the aisle holding a stripped carnation in her hand, then she handed it over to me. At that moment, I knew it was over.
I sighed and took my hand out of my pocket, I looked at Kenya and shook my head, somehow, that got the message to him. When a young boy tugged on my sleeve and handed a yellow rose to me; then I understood completely.
Gakuto gasped, he too understood what was going on, the rest followed on after that.
I should have known, the signs were everywhere, she chose purple hyacinth as the main flower of her bouquet, and it was adorned with irises all over tied in a white ribbon. A very odd choice for a bridal bouquet, but I thought she was just being creative. The garden where the ceremony was to take place was surrounded by an odd variety of flowers as well, there were Forget-Me-Nots and Daffodils everywhere, somehow she wanted me to remember nothing more than the memories we already had, and she has been telling me all along. But I was too blinded to see it all.
Everyone had gone home and left, I was left alone to stare at the starlit eyes that filed my heart with longing for the one I love. What I did to scare her away I still don't know, but what I know is that she's gone.
That morning I woke up, alone, covered in white sheets with the spring air blowing through my window. I heard knocking on my door, so I got up, got my robe and walked over.
"Deliver for Oshitari Yuushi-san."
"Arigato."
A pot of Azalea delivered to my doorsteps, could only come from her. The bell rings again.
"Delivery for Oshitari Yuushi-san."
"Arigato."
A bouquet of pink carnations…did you have to rub it in? The bell rings a third time, and frankly I didn't want to open the door anymore.
"Yuushi! Let's go grab some coffee."
Honestly, I've never been happier to see Gakuto in my entire life, if it was another delivery boy, I would have probably snapped.
I took a quick shower and got dressed, Gakuto was never the patient one, so I had to be quick about everything. It was weird going out for coffee that early in the morning with my best friend instead of you, but I'm guessing this will be a regular routine for me, for a while.
"By the way Yuushi, I didn't mean to, but I ran over a couple of your flower pots in the drive way, I never even knew they were there."
I stare at Gakuto with a puzzled expression, I was sure I didn't have potted flowers in the driveway.
"Here, I sort of dumped them in a corner, I mean, I don't even know what kind of flowers there were."
"Cyclamen."
"E?"
"They're Cyclamen Gakuto."
"Since when did you become the flower expert?"
"Gakuto, mind if we stop by somewhere before coffee?"
"Yeah, sure Yuushi."
So I drag Gakuto along to that familiar place where I use to spend hours with you.
"I'd like a single long stem red rose please."
"Here you go, Arigato."
"Arigato."
Gakuto has been staring at me all morning since I bought the rose, he's been trying to avoid asking me what it was for all through breakfast, but I know he will at some point. After all, I know Gakuto like the back of my hand, and he will not be able to hold himself in any longer than an hour more, he'll ask me why I bought the flower in three, two, one.
"Why'd you buy a rose Yuushi?"
Gakuto you never change. I stand up and walk away from the baffled Gakuto and walk over to the edge of the river. The riverbed looks beautiful in spring, when the cherry blossom bloom in full it'll look ever more beautiful. I thought my life was perfect, but maybe perfect doesn't exist. I thought of a fairy-tale ending, but maybe fairy tales were just that, make believe. And I may never understand why you walked away from me, but I know I still love you. So, I stare at the rose one last time before tossing it into the river, and watched as it was carried away by the waves, hopefully into the ocean, or maybe, with just a bit of luck, the river will carry it to you.
-oOo-
I didn't want to put much explaining into the paragraphs so for those of you who are asking what all the flowers were about, these are the meaning for each of the flowers that I used in the story (in order of use), well, those that I didn't explain anyway:
Lilac – First love
Lily – Union, Partnership, and Long lasting relationship
Anemone – Unfading Love
Stripped Carnation – Sorry I can't be with you
Yellow Rose – Decrease of love
Purple Hyacinth – I'm sorry
Iris – your friendship means so much to me
Daffodil – You're the only one
Forget-me-Not – True Love
Azalea – take care of yourself for me
Pink Carnation – I'll Never Forget You
Cyclamen – Goodbye
Single Red Rose – I still love you