Chapter X: Blurry

(This chapter is dedicated to the song "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd, and it is a good song.)

The next couple of days were as confusing as ever. Rumors constantly flying about Manami and Misawa Daichi, while their relationship was hidden from visual eyes. They never kissed before an audience, they never hung out as much as they used to, and Manami kept wandering off to an isolated and abandoned area on the island to draw, while Daichi wandered off with Yuki Judai, Marufuji Sho, and Maeda Hayato just to hang out. Several times, Manami would either be seen with Tenjyoin Asuka or Marufuji Ryou, but that was to be expected, since she was a student in Obelisk Blue. However, the rumors continued to fly, and some were even about Ryou or Manjyome Jun. Although these rumors were both insulting and hurtful, Manami ignored them like as if they were leaves in the wind. What surprised everyone, though, was that, even though he acted like a jerk towards her before and harassed her, Manami was hanging out with Jun a lot more. They even seemed like friends now, and it was this that startled and infuriated Daichi, as he remembered that Jun was a total pervert to Manami once before, but she continuously assured him that Jun had somehow changed.

One afternoon, Manami was sitting alone on a cliff side near the beach, looking down at the ocean with silver eyes full of excitement and comfort. As she sketched in her sketchpad, she started to feel herself drift off into the sounds of the waves colliding against the side of the cliffs, and did not hear the soft thud of footsteps behind her, nor heard the light snicker. Suddenly, though, a pair of cold hands wrapped themselves around her eyes, and she cried out in surprise. However, a voice whispered in her ear.

"Guess who!" the voice hissed.

"Uh! Jun!" Manami cried out, pulling away from her new friend's hold on her. She turned and saw Jun standing behind her, laughing.

"How'd you know?" he asked.

"Easy. The smell on your hands reminds me of the blueberry pancakes Judai told me you tried to make this morning," she smirked at him.

"That stupid Judai!" Jun pouted, but then saw Manami giggling, and this made him smile. Every time he made her laugh, it seemed as if he had done something right, like curing the ill, but why? All he did was make one of his friends laugh.

Jun sat beside her and looked out into the ocean, smiling with comfort as the sun hit his face. Manami smiled at this, and looked out into the ocean. However, Jun spoke once more, startling the young girl.

"You know, you've changed a lot in only a month's time," he spoke.

"Huh?"

"You've become more active, you've been socializing a lot, and…I don't know, you seem to have this glow about you," Jun pronounced.

"Thanks, Jun," Manami spoke softly.

"No, I'm serious. You've changed so much. You're not as shy, you're not as alone. It's nice to see you outside and hanging out with other people," Jun spoke. "I mean, you do wander off to be alone, but it's nice to see that you're not as much of a loner as you once were."

Manami sighed in pleasantry to his words. She didn't understand why, but she understood what he was saying. She has changed a lot, and there was only one person to thank for that. He brought her out by simply being her friend, and now they were far more than just friends. She smiled in the memory of the Christmas party, seeing him in the moonlight, and she felt herself blush as she remembered the kiss that they shared right after.

"I know," Jun spoke. She looked at him in confusion. "I know that you and Misawa are together, and that the two of you are in love. I want to apologize about me acting like a jerk before, but I guess…I felt jealous when I discovered that you liked someone, and I wanted that person to be me."

Manami's smile quickly faded and she raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Okay, what do you want?" she asked suspiciously. Jun looked at her in surprise and false anger.

"Why is it that when I'm trying to be nice, people always think I want something!" he yelled.

"Because you usually do," she spoke.

"Very funny," he snapped at her, but he felt as if this time he spent with her would probably have some kind of effect on her. He didn't know, but all of a sudden, a feeling over went him, and he heard the most annoying voice he had ever heard. He turned, and saw a little yellow creature beside him, an ugly creature who disgusted him beyond all measures. Ojama Yellow.

"Hey, boss, what's up? Who's she? Your girlfriend?" Ojama Yellow laughed in his annoying voice. Jun backed away, trying to ignore the creature, but he jumped to his shoulder and started dancing on it.

"Who's your little friend, Jun?" Manami asked.

Surprised, Jun looked at her in confusion. She was looking at his shoulder as if she could see the little creature.

"Can you see him?" Jun asked.

"Yes, it's Ojama Yellow. He's cute," Manami spoke. Jun felt his face flush of all colors. Cute? What was going through this girl's mind? He was the most annoying, pathetic monster Jun had ever seen, yet he was a Spirit, and Jun was able to see Monster Spirits since he came back from North Academy. So, could she see them as well?

"Are you able to see Monster Spirits?" he asked her.

"Um…kind of, I guess. I've been seeing an awful lot of monsters these days. Just the other day, I woke up in the middle of night, and saw Sprite Goddess Jewel standing in front of my bed. She looked sad, but before I could say anything, she disappeared," Manami explained. "And…yesterday I saw a Hane Kuriboh following Judai."

"Yeah, that's his Spirit Partner, just like how I am to Boss," Ojama Yellow cheered on Jun's shoulder.

"GET LOST!" Jun snapped at the monster, and he did fade away.

"Why are you so mean to him?" Manami asked.

"He gets on my nerves a lot. Him and his stupid brothers, Ojama Green and Black," Jun spoke.

"Their Spirits, it's how they are. So, Hane Kuriboh is Judai's spirit partner, Ojama Yellow is yours…I wonder….Does…does Daichi have one?" Manami asked. This Jun pondered about, and then answered.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. He might, but I haven't seen one," Jun answered as honestly as he could.

Manami looked down in thought, and the two of them just sat there is silence for the remainder of the time they were there.

"Hey, Sho, I bet I can finish my food before you!" Judai cried.

"Oh, yeah? You're on!" Sho cheered. The two then started an eating contest, and soon, Sho gave up after eating too fast, which meant that Judai won. Sitting far from them at a different table was Jun, lost in thought of what Manami had asked him earlier. He didn't remember ever seeing a Duel Spirit around Daichi before, but for all he knew, he could have one. Hayato had one that was hardly ever seen. What if Sho had one? And what about Asuka? And Ryou? What if everyone had a Duel Spirit and they just didn't know it? Everything seemed blurry now that he thought of it, and somehow, he found himself wandering if Manami was okay as she led on. He doubted it, because she still had those dark, sad shadows in her eyes.

"Hey, Jun, what're you thinking about over there!" Judai called from the other side of the cafeteria. Jun looked up in surprise, and glared at Judai from there. However, Jun's thoughts continuously traveled to Manami's curiosity about Duel Spirits, and whether or not everyone had one. He even began to wonder which Duel Spirit was Manami's Duel partner.

Run…run as far as you can…run as fast as you can…run into the sunlight…run into the night…and travel with the stars as you escape…escape from here….Here you are not safe…here you will never have comfort…here you will never have peace….

I've never had peace in my life, so why should I start looking for it now?

The rain fell hard on the girl's body as she fell to her knees in exhaustion. She was told to run away from where her home was, to run away from the one place she thought she was safe. She felt the rain roll off her bare and bleeding shoulders, stinging the wounds with their icy touch. She could hear the roar of thunder above her, and flashes of lightning shot before her eyes, striking everything with gloomy, horrifying omniscience. She looked out into the hills, seeing the city as it once was, now engulfed in dark, burning flames that she had cast and caused onto it. She was nothing more than a host to chaos, nothing more than a vessel to house an indestructible power. She couldn't come back. She had to turn from here, turn from her home.

Closing her eyes, she prayed to the gods that they would lead, that they will take her away from here. She prayed that they would lead her to a safer, more secure place other than here. She wanted to be safe, to be warm, she wanted to at last see light where it never shown. She allowed her tears to fall with the rain and roll from her face. At last, in eighteen years, she broke down inside, wishing that some light will guide her, that a light will lead her not only to safety, but to warmth.

"You are light…."

Manami laid on her bed, her eyes closed gently while she slumbered peacefully, but outside of her dreams lied the real world. A world where chaos of all kinds struck mercilessly, and a world where darkness will cover her immensely, cover her until she could no longer breathe. A world where there was no real light until her dreams became a reality. A world where she knew that the more she wandered into it, the more she dragged the ones she loved into the war zone. This world was no longer a division between Heaven and Hell, it was a division between light and darkness, good and evil, and it has caused the light, the good nature of humanity to drift away. That was how she felt each day.

She felt as if she was reaching out towards the light, the goodness of life, and hoping that it would save her, hoping that it would catch her, but the more she reached out, the farther it drifted away. As she slept in her bed, she dreamt of something she had never seen, never dreamt of.

She was standing on the edge of a cliff, standing over a dark sea, staring down at it. Her arms stretched out at her sides, balancing her as she prepared to take the lunge. Behind her, she saw shadows and strangers with piercing red eyes watching and whispering about her, and she felt their cold stares on her back. She knew that this was the only way, and that there was no other way. She wanted to protect them. She wanted them to see the light, something that she never saw. Something that should have come and saved her, but didn't. Now she was prepared to give it to them.

Her feet moved instinctively, and her body leaned forward as she fell from the edge and tumbled to the darkness. She turned onto her back in the air, and stared up at the cliff as she felt the wind sweep about her. She was scared, she was hurt, and she was waiting for the painful collision of the ground to strike her. However, she didn't feel anything. She felt her body somehow be caught by someone. She felt someone's arms around her, and she looked up to see who her savior was, but before she could see their face, she was engulfed within darkness, and suddenly awoke to find herself in her bedroom. She touched her face to discover that it was drenched in sweat. What's more, she also felt tears in her eyes. Why was she crying? Was that dream a nightmare? Or a vision? A vision of events to come?

During the days that followed, Manami began to act like her old self. She didn't talk as much to anyone, she started to pull away from her friends, and even once, reverted into a violent rage when Jun called her "Nami." A lot more now, people started to see tears in her eyes, but she wouldn't talk to anyone, especially not Daichi. One night, he found her outside of the Ra Yellow dorm, looking not only depressed, but hurt. When he went out to greet her, she ran from him, and ended up skipping school the next day. Ryou asked Asuka to continuously check up on her, make sure that she wasn't taking drugs, and see that she's well, and sure enough, Manami wasn't taking drugs, and she was fine. But there was no logical explanation for her unusual behavior.

However, at night people could hear her singing from the Obelisk Blue Girls' dormitory, singing sad and depressing songs that would sometimes bring tears to their eyes. One song that she sang almost dreamily, and it was later discovered that the song was called "Listen to the Rain." Manami, though, pulled even farther from her friends when they wanted to hear her sing, and she would refuse and run away from them.

One night, Judai and Sho were having a practice duel outside near the beach, and when they looked out, they saw someone standing on the pier near the lighthouse. Originally, Sho thought that it was his brother watching the sea, but when the light crossed over that person's head, they saw that it wasn't Ryou, but Manami. Immediately, Judai and Sho stopped their duel and ran towards her. When she heard them approach, she turned and prepared to walk away, but they both cornered her. Judai looked at her, backing into the lighthouse, and saw the fear in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Manami?" he asked.

"Nothing," she lied. They saw the confusion in her eyes.

"Manami, you've been pulling away from a lot of people. What's wrong?" Sho asked.

Manami smiled sweetly at him, and then looked at Judai.

"Well…Judai, can you show me…can you show me their world?" she asked. Judai was confused by her question.

"What do you mean? Show you what world?" he asked.

"Their world. The world of the Duel Spirits. I've been seeing them a lot, and I want to see them…I want to see how they live," she spoke softly. Judai smiled. This girl wanted to know something that she had never seen. Could that be why she has pulled away from them? Because she was exploring another world, searching for another world?

"Well, I can, but we're going to need to see Jun. He has, like, fifty Duel Spirits around him all the time," Judai spoke. He grabbed her hand and dragged her off the pier, pulling her towards the Osiris Red dormitory.

When they approached, they saw Jun standing outside of his room, being chased by three little creatures, one was easily recognized as Ojama Yellow, and the other two looked similar to him, but one was black, and one was green. Ojamas Black and Green.

"Hey! Leave me alone!" Jun yelled at them.

"Come on, Boss, we just want to play a game!" Ojama Black yelled, his voice was deep and slightly eerie for a little creature.

"Yeah! Seeing as how you disowned your two brothers, how about you hang out with us!" Ojama Yellow cried.

"I didn't disown my brothers! They're both just jerks!" Jun yelled.

"Kind of like you?" Manami called out.

Jun and the Ojama Brothers stopped and looked at her. Then Ojama Green spoke.

"Who's that?" he asked his brothers.

"That's Manami. She's the Boss's girlfriend!" Ojama Yellow cheered.

"She is not my girlfriend!" Jun yelled at them.

"You once wanted me to be your girlfriend," Manami pointed out, but that only angered Jun.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" he yelled at her.

"I'm not trying to help," Manami shot at him.

"Oooh!" Judai and Sho cheered. Obviously, what she said was a burn to him.

After fighting for five minutes, Judai finally explained to Jun what Manami's situation was, and Jun invited them all into his room. At once, they were greeted by a crowd of Spirits gathered around Jun's bed, spirits of different monsters, different appearances. Manami was startled to see so many spirits, and it showed in her face, as her eyes kept darting to each different spirit, her face was a bit lighter, but eventually, that paleness was replaced by a light, wonderful glow. She started giggling, and eventually, the spirit of one of the monsters, a fairy, grabbed her wrist and started dancing with her all over the room. The boys looked on, now realizing that they have never seen Manami be so happy. Judai didn't even see her being this happy at the Christmas party. It was as if…being amongst all these Duel Monsters, she felt at home, she felt safe.

Soon, the other three joined in playing with the spirits, and soon Manami began singing for some unknown reason. Her voice was so light and gentle, yet how she sang was almost mesmerizing, and she seemed distant and in another world when she sang.

"I am a question to the world. Not an answer to be heard. Or a moment that's held in your arms. And what do you think you'd ever say. I won't listen anyway. You don't know me. And I'll never be what you want me to be. And what do you think you'd understand. I'm a boy, no, I'm a man. You can't take me. And throw me away. And how can you learn what's never shown. Yeah, you stand here on your own. They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here."

"Hey, I know that song! Isn't that the song that Sakuya used to sing?" Jun asked, calling from the doorway after chasing the Ojama brothers.

"Yeah! I can't believe you remember it!" Manami cried.

"Hell, yeah, I'd remember it!" Jun cried.

"Who's Sakuya?" Judai asked, playing with Hane Kuriboh and Sho.

"Her older brother. He's in a band, but he used to sing songs before he went into it," Jun explained.

"What song was that called?" Sho asked from the floor near the bed.

"Well, it's not Sakuya's original songs, he just liked singing it whenever he was home with Mother. It's called 'I'm Still Here' by John Rzeznik," Manami explained. "Sakuya and Mother never got along, and sometimes, when he was home, he would lock himself in his room and play his guitar and sing. Sometimes, when he would baby-sit me and Mikuyo, he would call us into his room and sing for us."

"Sounds like you and your brothers got along well," Ojama Green spoke from the desk on the opposite wall.

"We did. I don't remember ever having a fight with one of them, but then again, I haven't seen them in two years, so…." Suddenly, her voice drifted off sadly, and her hand rose to her mouth, as if she had said something foul and horrible. She looked down sadly, and then looked around the room, trying to pretend that no one had heard that. Throughout the time that she stayed and played with the spirits, she seemed distant and lost, but she still held those smiles and light in her eyes. However, she later left and returned to the Obelisk Blue Girls' dormitory.

As she headed back, she decided to take the long way back and pass by Ra Yellow dormitory. As she did, she noticed that not one light was on in the dorm, and she smiled cheerily up at the building. Thank you for being there by my side, Daichi, she thought calmly. She knew that in the near future, she would cause harm and pain to him, and to her friends, and she didn't want to do that. But what if that was her fate? What if she was meant to cause them harm? She didn't want to, she wanted more than anything to stop it, but if it was her destiny, then there was no stopping it.

A single tear sparkled in the moonlight within her heart, and streamed down the side of her face as she suddenly realized that she couldn't be with Daichi if she going to cause harm to him. She had to make a decision soon. Either be with him and cause him pain, or not be with him and let him be free of any misery. Either choice was going to hurt her, but she needed not to think of herself, but of the one she loves.

"Either choice you make will hurt him as well…."

"Who's there!" Manami called out, turning around quickly, looking for some source of where that voice came from. It sounded so familiar, and so close, yet no one else was around. The only other thing accompanying her was her shadow, and those shadows of the night. She still looked around while the voice spoke again to her. Still, there was no one else there.

"Stop fearing for 'what if' and worry about 'what can.' You're so scared about hurting him and your friends, but what if it's you that ends up being hurt? If you plan on being in pain and suffering, at least don't let yourself suffer alone. Allow someone to be there to catch you."

"I can't…I can't let them get hurt…I can't…I can't pull him…them, into all of this!" Manami cried, covering her ears with her hands, trying to block out the voice, but it still seeped into her ears, echoing like the howl of a wolf.

"If you keep pulling away from those that try to help you, you'll be lost before the dawn! You need trust people! You need to learn to let them in!"

"NO! NO! I WON'T SACRIFICE THEIR SAFETY FOR MINE!" Manami cried, tears running down her face.

"You're not sacrificing anything! Don't you get it! They want to help you! He wants to be with you! He loves you!"

"And that's why I can't be with him! I'll only cause him harm and misery!" Manami fell to her knees, and her body suddenly felt weak. So weak, that she felt as if she would never have strength again. She felt exhausted and tired. The world before her began spinning, the darkness of the night covering the light of the moon in her sight, and she suddenly couldn't breathe. She couldn't speak. She just felt so tired and hurt. Her body swayed on her knees and she fell forward onto the ground, darkness washing over her as she drifted into unconscious.

"He loves you…."

"I'm not sober all the time. You bring me down, at least you try. 'Till we see this eye to eye, I don't want you! I must be running out of luck, 'cause you're just not drunk enough to fuck, and now I've had it up to here. I don't, I don't want you! It took so long to see. You walked away from me when I need you! Wake up! I'm pounding on the door! I'm not the man I was before! Where the hell are you when I need you!"

"Big brother! Big brother! It's me!"

A small little girl jumped up and down in the crowd of people, waving her arms frantically to gain the attention of the boy playing on the stage, singing and playing his guitar. Her long, silky black hair held up in pigtails by pink ribbons, her silver, saddened eyes looking up at him with pain and grief. She was barely four feet, while everyone around her was over five feet, so hardly anyone saw her. Yet still, she jumped up and down, trying to get his attention. She called out in the crowd, tears running down her face.

"Big brother! Big brother! Please, big brother, save me!"

Finally, the boy looked down into the crowd, and looked into the spot where she was jumping, but she doubted that he could see her. He then ignored her and continued playing. More tears flowed from her face, and she looked down in depression. The moment she fell to her knees and started sobbing, the band stopped playing, and the main singer stood up from his place on the stage, and immediately jumped into the crowd of fans. Before the child realized what was going on, the boy picked her up into his arms and carried her back onto the stage while she wept.

"It's okay now, Nami. You're safe. You'll be alright," the boy comforted her, and she stopped crying. She looked up into the teenager's face and smiled.

"Thank you, big bro!" she cried happily.

"Wake up, Manami…."

Manami awoke to the soft and warm touch of sunlight on her face, and her silver eyes fluttered open slightly to find herself in a room she did not recognize. It was a room with walls covered with mathematic formulas and theories. At first, she felt like as if she was in the bedroom of an obsessive scientist, but then she saw the window staring down onto the beach. She smiled softly, feeling the warmth of the sunlight on her, but then she sat up and ran her fingers through her bangs. Where was she? How did she get here? And why…why was she so tired?

"Ah, good morning, sleepy-head!" cheered a voice from the doorway of the room. She looked up to see Daichi standing there, holding up a yellow tray of different assortments of food. He placed the tray down on the nightstand beside the bed, and looked at her with a warm smile.

"Where am I?" Manami couldn't help but ask first. Daichi could understand that.

"My room. I was returning from a walk last night when I saw you outside the dorm," he explained. Manami's face went red. She was in Misawa Daichi, her boyfriend's, room! She slept in his bed! Daichi noticed this, and laughed. "No need to worry, Manami, I wanted to take care of you. I even brought you up some breakfast from the cafeteria."

He referred to the tray. Manami stared at it briefly, and then looked up into Daichi's eyes, suddenly realizing just how lucky she was to have a guy like him for a boyfriend. She didn't deserve him.

"You're too good to me, Daichi," she spoke almost sadly. He noticed her tone, and sat at the foot of the bed, staring at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She didn't know whether to tell him, or to just keep it in. She knew that if she kept it in, it would grow and continue to hurt her. But if she told him, he would be dragged into her problem, and most likely get hurt. And she never wanted that. But as she sat there in silence with him, she brought her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them while she starred down at the comforter covering her. Everything in this room…it had his scent. That sweet, hypnotizing scent that distinguished him from all the other boys in the school. Did she just realize it now, or has it always been there?

She closed her eyes, and as the sunlight streamed down on her, she not only felt the warmth of the sun, but she felt the warmth that Daichi gave her, that safe, warm feeling that seemed to emerge from nowhere, or rather from her heart. She opened her eyes, but only to be greeted by Daichi gently grabbing her chin with his thumb and forefinger, and tilting her head back slightly to where he met her with his lips. She winced and trembled from his actions, but as he kissed her, a tear rolled down her cheek. She knew that she loved him, and that he loved her, but she didn't know how to tell him when something was bothering her. All she wanted was to feel that warm feeling he gave her, to be lost in that delectable scent that he radiated, and to just be in his arms forever.

The moment he pulled away, wiping away her tears, she embraced him and started weeping into his shoulder. He embraced her back, although startled by her actions, and just held her.

"I don't deserve you, Daichi! I don't deserve your love!" she cried. Confused by her words, she pulled her away and looked into her tearful eyes.

"What are you talking about, Manami?" he asked.

She looked at him, and bowed her head in depression. She didn't speak again for the rest of the day, but this told Daichi, more than anything, that she was in far more pain than she ever was.

FD: Okay, second chapter for the day. I hope you guys like it. I just typed and typed until I felt it was enough. Again, I'm sorry I hadn't updated in awhile, but I have been, and so be happy. Because this chapter was dedicated to the song, "Blurry," I used some lyrics from other songs in here. I guess you can refer to this chapter as a musical one, but I'm not done with the story yet. Anyway, if you're curious of what's wrong with Manami, or what these different dreams mean, you'll have to wait until I update again. Peace!