"Another nightmare?" Fili asked softly when his brother woke up screaming.
"Yes," Kili mumbled as he struggled to push himself up into a sitting position. Fili immediately took over, gripping underneath his arms and gently hoisting himself up. Kili avoided his brother's eyes, muttering a 'thanks' underneath his breath. He was grateful for his brother's help, but Kili hated feeling so helpless and vulnerable.
"How are you feeling today?" It had been three days since the first nightmare. Kili's fever had gone down, and his wounds were slowly starting to heal, but Kili looked the same-ragged and pale. He hadn't eaten anything in almost a week; the first time he tried Kili ended up throwing it up. His stomach couldn't handle any food, and Kili was growing weaker.
"Fine," Kili lied. In truth, Kili felt horrible. Every bone and muscle ached, his head felt like it was going to explode, and he was just so, so tired. It took all of his energy to keep his eyes open. But he put up a barrier anyway. He had shown enough weakness over the past few days, and he would be a coward to show any more.
"You don't need to lie to me, Kili. I'm your brother," Fili whispered. He was slightly hurt at the way Kili pretended to be fine; he knew he wasn't. He could see it in his eyes. They were cold and hard, but behind them lay a young, scared boy who was desperate and alone. Fili was more than willing to help him, but Kili refused to let him. "Let me help you."
Kili's eyes softened. He should be more thankful for his brother's actions. He had stayed by his side the entire time, unwavering.
"I'm sorry, I...," Kili faltered, at a loss for words. "I'm just so confused, Fi. And everything hurts."
"You have every right to feel the way you do," Fili squeezed Kili's hand. "I just want you to know that you're not alone. You have me, and mum, and Thorin. We're here to help you, Ki, but we can't help if you don't let us."
"I just hate feeling so helpless! I can't even sit up on my own!" Kili whined.
"I know. But that's just another obstacle that you'll have to overcome, Ki," Fili said. "It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. I know you can."
Kili looked deep into his brother's eyes. They were filled with a gentle warmth that made him feel safe. Protected. In that moment, Kili realized that the only reason Kili even bothered to keep his eyes open was his brother. His brother was his light at the end of this dark tunnel. His brother was his hope. "Thank you," Kili smiled.
"For what?"
"For being here when I need you the most."
Fili smiled, shrugging his shoulders. "That's what brother's do I suppose...It's no big deal, really."
"It is a big deal," Kili said. "Really."
Really.
Thorin and Dis were seated at the kitchen table, eating their supper in silence. Fili was eating with Kili, who had been in a strangely good mood that he even ate a few bites of the soup.
Thorin broke the silence, "Kili seems happier today. Maybe he's feeling better."
"He certainly doesn't look better," Dis scoffed.
"At least he's eating."
"Hardly."
Thorin slammed his fist onto the table in sudden rage. "Why do you do that? Why do you act like there is no hope?"
"Because there is none!" Dis shouted. "Don't pretend that you know everything is going to be okay! You heard what Oin said. He has no chance, no hope!"
"You're acting as if he is going to die!" Thorin roared. "He may lose his hand, but at least he still has his life! He is still your son!"
"No," Dis said sharply. "My son is dead. That boy..that boy is not my son." Dis was now kneeling on the ground, tears falling down her face. "My son is gone."
Thorin knelt down beside his sister, holding her chin up with his hand. "He is not gone, Dis...He is lost."
The shattering of glass and a loud yell erupted from Kili's room, tearing both of them from their thoughts. They looked up to see Fili standing at the entrance of the kitchen, an empty expression on his face. "He heard..he heard y-you," he whispered shakily.
All of the blood drained from their faces as they watched Fili's lips form those dreaded words, "He heard you."
Thorin could hear his heart drop to the floor. He had completely forgotten about the two boys in the next room over.
"H-he kicked me out," Fili breathed, eyes frozen. "I've never seen him so angry. H-his eyes..they reminded me of all the horrible stories about dragons and evil demons Balin told us about when we were l-little. And, and his voice, it was so deep and filled with hatred...," Thorin managed to catch Fili in time before he collapsed onto the ground, crying.
Dis sat crumpled on the floor. She felt so ashamed. Not only had she lost her precious son, but now he hated her. It was the worst feeling in the world.
Thorin knew that no word or action could comfort the maimed hearts of his family. He was utterly hopeless. He knew he was going to have to confront Kili; Dis was in no state, and he couldn't send Fili back in there. Thorin was going to have to face Kili's wrath alone.
He was so afraid.