It's late when she gets home, not really late, but rather very early in the morning. She takes a four minute shower and climbs into bed. When she wakes up it's just a few minutes after sunrise. She finds a warm body curled up to her. She opens her eyes and the sun burns them. After the initial shock she is greeted by big green eyes.
"Layla I'm really tired."
"That's ok mommy. I'll go back to my room," she says forlornly as she crawls to the edge of the bed.
"Layla wait," Catherine yawns.
Layla stops at the foot of the bed. "I gave you a kiss when you were sleeping."
"Layla you can come back up here if you go to sleep."
"Ok," the little girl smiles and begins the journey to the head of the bed. She stops when she reaches Catherine's side. She curls up against her chest. Catherine kisses her and pets her soft hair. Layla yawns, "I love you mommy."
"I love you more," she whispers.
Before she drifts back to sleep she thinks about those first few months with Layla.
Flashback November 21st 2003: Lindsey finally persuades her to hold the tiny nameless baby girl. Catherine stares at the foot of the hospital bed as Lindsey approaches. Seconds later a tiny bundle is in her arms. Catherine takes one look at her and then looks away. She looks at Lindsey.
"Mom what's her name?"
"She doesn't have one, Lindsey."
"You have to name her," Lindsey points out.
"Why don't you take her?" Catherine asks.
Lindsey willingly takes the infant out of her arms. Lindsey lights up as she smiles at her baby sister. "She's so cute," Lindsey informs Catherine. Catherine doesn't respond.
"Mom did you hear me?"
"Lindsey why don't you name her?" Catherine answers.
"She's your baby," Lindsey points out.
"But I don't have a name picked out. You can call her whatever you'd like. You could name her spot for all I care."
"Layla Brielle. It's a pretty name don't you think? A pretty name for a pretty little girl."
"Where did you come up with that?"
"The name book I bought you. Didn't you read it?"
"No, I didn't read it."
"So is that ok?"
"Yeah Linds, it's fine."
Catherine couldn't have picked a better name herself. She could imagine her little girl being anyone but Layla Brielle Willows. Lindsey had been right it was a pretty name, for a very pretty little girl. But she couldn't see it at first, she couldn't see a pretty little girl. But one day she did.
Flashback: March 22nd, 2004: Catherine has the week off to spend with Lindsey on her spring break. It's seven thirty and Catherine has been home for five hours and asleep for four hours and forty five minutes. She is rudely awakened by a crying infant. She opens her eyes and sees Layla's bassinet next to her bed. She walks past the baby, and across the hall. She knocks on the door, and gets no reply.
"Lindsey!"
"What?" she responds from the downstairs.
"The baby is crying," Catherine hollers.
"She's your baby. I take care of her all the time."
"Lindsey I've only been home since two thirty."
"That's more sleep than I got."
"Lindsey please!"
"Mom I'm going to grandma's. You need to take care of her, she's your baby."
"Lindsey!"
The front door slams, and the baby cries louder. Catherine returns to her room and stands over the bassinet. She lifts the baby out, and begins to pat her. "Shh!" she whispers as she heads down the stairs to the kitchen. She mindlessly gets a bottle ready and moves toward the microwave. She finds a post-it note on the front of the microwave from Lindsey telling her to use the bottle warmer instead. Finally Catherine gets the bottle warm enough. She moves the baby from her shoulder into her arms. The instant she gives the bottle to the little girl she stops crying. She begins sucking on the bottle and stares up at Catherine with big green eyes. The baby finishes her bottle and is burped. Catherine holds her and finds herself entranced in the little girl's big eyes. "Hi Layla," she says. Layla gives her a big gummy smiles. Catherine studies the baby and then she sees it too. She stares at the beautiful little girl for a long time. She smells the top of her head and plants a kiss on her. The infant's lids flicker and her mouth relaxes.
In that moment everything changes. Catherine climbs the stairs and wanders into the nursery. She flips on the light and takes a seat in a rocking chair. She looks at the room, and at her sleeping daughter as she rocks. The baby sucks on a pacifier as she sleeps. Catherine caresses her chubby cheeks, and smiles. What a beautiful baby. Finally she was really seeing her little girl for the first time. Her beautiful sleeping daughter. Finally she had fallen in love with her daughter. It wasn't anything like it had been with Lindsey. She had never doubted her love for Lindsey. With Layla every time she looked at her she wondered if she loved her. But now there was absolutely no doubt.
As she falls asleep she listens to Layla breath. Within minutes they're both asleep. When Catherine wakes up Layla is still sleeping. She just watches her. She brushes hair out of her face and plants a kiss on her warm cheek. "Layla, baby, wake up." Layla rolls over and looks at her. She smiles and stare at her mother with sweet green eyes.
"Mommy I'm hungry."
"Of course you are."
"I'm starving."
"Why don't we get dressed first?"
"Ok," Layla agrees crawling out of bed.
Catherine throws on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She pulls her hair into a pony tail and the walks down the hall to Layla's room. She finds her daughter standing in her closet.
"Layla what do you want to wear?"
"I want to wear the purple dress."
"Which one?"
"The one with butterflies on it."
"You wear that dress everyday."
"No I don't," she argues.
"Please pick something else."
"Can I wear my sunflower dress?"
"You don't have a sunflower dress."
"Yes I do. It's that yellow one up there."
"It doesn't have sunflowers on it."
"No, but it's the color of a sunflower."
"Ok," Catherine pulls the dress from it's hanger and hands it to Layla.
After getting dressed Catherine looks for a hairbrush.
"Mommy what are you doing?"
"Looking for your hairbrush, have you seen it?"
"No," she shakes her head mischievously.
Catherine crawls on the floor and lifts up the skirt of Layla's bed. She tosses out a few socks, and then crawls out from under the bed with a hairbrush.
"How did that get there?" Layla asks.
"I don't know, but I've got a few ideas."
"Do you have to brush my hair?"
"Yes, come here please," Catherine sits down on the bed.
Layla takes a seat on her lap. Catherine meticulously brushes her hair, and then pulls it into two pig tails.
"Can we eat now?" Layla wonders aloud.
"What do you want?"
"Cookies."
"You can't have cookies for breakfast," Catherine argues as they reach the top of the stairs.
"Mommy carry me. My legs are tired."
"You're five how could your legs possibly be tired?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm not really five. Please just carry me," she begs.
Catherine takes one look at her green eyes and picks her up. "Layla are you eating rocks again?" she asks as she walks down the stairs.
"No, can I have cookies or not?"
Catherine reaches the kitchen and sits Layla on the counter. She looks at the little girl. One day she'd be... she wouldn't be little forever.
"Fine just this once," Catherine agrees.
"Thank you mommy," she smiles.
"But you have to help."
"Ok. I know how to make cookies. First you have to pre-heat the oven at three-fifty and then..." Catherine cuts the little girl off.
"How do you know how to make cookies?"
"Lindsey and Grandma make them for me all the time."
Catherine just shakes her head and smiles at the sweet little girl.