Chapter 10
My mind went sort of blank after that. There were too many questions and too much to think about that my mind's defenses went up. This blankness, unfortunately, lasted all of about two seconds. There were so many things I'd forgotten about: he first came during what others would call an "episode," hadn't he? So….what was that about? And then how he had reacted a little strangely after I'd simply asked about his sleep. How had I forgotten about these things anyway? I must've had some kind of attention disorder. There was just too much to think about, though—so much in fact, that I remembered my headache.
As the headache built up, I felt like a wall that had been previously holding back my emotion was starting to crumble. Shock, embarrassment, shame, and joy….it all started to overwhelm me and made me even more confused and just ever so slightly hyper.
I squeeze my eyes shut and started rubbing my temples. What now? I didn't necessarily want to worry about Whi—Jasper all day. It was a waste of energy—although not a waste of time; there was definitely an overabundance of that. Even so, focusing on something else would be better for my exploding head.
The best thing to concentrate on would probably be the positives in my life.
I had a friend. Kind of.
My friend cared about me.
I would probably see him often.
I was alive and in one of the nicer…rooms.
I didn't think I was going to get a stupid lobotomy job done anytime soon.
With that also came the continued absence of any shock treatments.
I had a spare uniform.
The list I was forming in my head seemed to be growing sadder and sadder. Although the last four were things to be thankful for, they were more ordinary. I felt greedy thinking that this, but was there anything else to focus on? I suddenly remembered the vision I'd had this morning and added that to my list:
This Wednesday, of all days, would be a sunny day.
I was truly spoiled: not did I have a friend but, I also had something definite to look forward to.
It had probably been about five days since last Wednesday when I had gone out for a walk. So I had to wait one day more? That would be the day after tomorrow.
My mood had lifted already. I would have to remember this method of calming down and use it again whenever possible. I continued:
My old attendant was gone.
I was healthy.
I was now happier and calmer.
That would be good enough for now. Now that I was drained of the majority of my worries, I was starting to feel tired, again. I hadn't had a very good night's sleep, come to think of it. I decided I would just take a little nap. It wasn't like there was anything better to do.
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Note:
Okay, so this was a filler chapter…so sue me. I'm not the best when it comes to these, I you'll just have to forgive me (honestly, that's why it took so long to write this.) I could cut the fillers out, but they show the passage of time and if I just cut them out…wouldn't the fanfic seem a bit rushed? I love your comments as always so fell free to bitch and complain about how slow and disappointing this chapter was because for the time it took to write it, it was SO short and had zero content. (I'm not being sarcastic. Complain to me. I want to hear what I can improve on.) So Cya soon, people!! (I hope .)
Larry