Never before in his life has Killian Jones felt so bad while being sober. Actually, he was feeling a hell of a lot worse than he ever did while dealing with the crude effects of drunkenness; his head was killing him, the light coming from the skies was bothering his over sensitive eyes and he was sure that he was standing out of pure instinct.

Overall it was safe to say that he felt like crap, almost as if he had spent the entire night drinking his weight in rum and now he was suffering the dire consequences.

So aye, as bad as it sounded that was how it was; he was feeling like the living dead and he wouldn't be surprised that if anyone was to look up to see him standing on the deck of the Jolly Roger, they would think that he pulled out a night of drinking until the wee hours of dawn.

But the thing was that he didn't, other than a couple of short swallows of his preferred rum before finding out that Regina was at the piers, he hadn't had anything. He did however, spent a good portion of the night thinking until his brain hurt and because of that he didn't get any sleep at all and well, he was positive that his lack of sleep and his excessive thinking were the causes of some of his afflictions.

Ah, but what he wouldn't give to be drunk right then. All night long he has been denying himself of his sweet poison and it served him for nothing. No, on the contrary, getting drunk would make him feel better and perhaps, it would help him clear his thoughts.

Decided, the pirate reached into the pocket of his leather coat and found the so much needed flask, then, without thinking it twice he took it out, opened it and took a long swallow that burned all the way to his stomach.

Groaning at the sensation, he shook his head and took another swallow and then another until there was no more rum to be taken; but when that didn't make him feel any better he threw the flask overboard and just closed his eyes and pressed his head against the mast.

"I can't father a child." He said out loud to convince himself. It wasn't the first time he made such a statement in the past few hours and much as it happened all the times before, the words made him feel an emptiness inside of him that was so cruel that it made him want to go in despair.

But it was true; he was not cut to be a father and no child should bear the consequences of having him as a Papa. No, he couldn't care about anyone but himself so how the hell was he supposed to take care of another being.

And Regina…

"Regina."

That was another thing, as of last night he would have sworn that he was in love with her but now he didn't even know. Maybe it has been an infatuation out of control because really… how it could not be easy to think one to be in love when high in the brims of passion? Even touching the sky felt like an easy thing when drunk in her kisses and the feeling of her skin irradiating with warmth underneath his touch so who knew.

Perhaps he let himself be carried away by the way she felt when he would made her his or by how she responded to his every touch and he thought he was in love.

But now…

Shaking his head, he remembered what she told him, that if he didn't want anything to do with the baby or her, that he should get out of Storybrooke and never come back.

He has nursed the idea of leaving during the night and he even went down to his cabin to look for the magic bean, but after holding it hard into his palm for what felt like an eternity, he ended up putting it back where it was so he could keep thinking.

And think he did, mostly about Regina…

Maybe he did love her because the possibility of leaving her was part of what was making him feel so awful, but at the same time the idea of having a child with her was terrifying.

He was at odds… and he didn't know what to do.

Opening his eyes, he remembered how Milah once told him that she never wanted another child in fear that she would end up hurting him like she did Bae. When she told him that, he has been a bit disappointed but he let the idea of ever fathering a child die and he never put much thought to it again. Then she died, he spent centuries seeking for revenge and now, several lifetimes after that the possibility was there… and he wanted to flee?

"She's having my child."

The words slipped off his tongue easier this time and he smiled a little, closing his eyes and shaking his head as he let the idea sink in.

Maybe it wasn't so bad, maybe he wouldn't be so terrible as a father and well, he wasn't going to lie, the thought of having Regina officially all for himself was more than appealing.

True, it would be challenging with a child in the middle but it was going to be their child. And aye, with both Regina and a little one on the way, he would have something to look forward to other than revenge and that couldn't be bad.

As he thought about that, he heard the distinct sound of someone walking up the ramp to his ship and when he opened his eyes again he saw Emma making it into the Jolly Roger.

Seeing her there caught him off guard but he didn't let it show, what he did was straightened his back and forced a smirk out of his lips. Then he cooked his head to the side and waited until she was close enough.

"The lovely Emma Swan; did you got tired of Baelfire already and came looking for some real action?" His tone came out as flirty, after all it was in his nature and he loved riling Emma up so why not?

Making a grimace, she rolled her eyes. "Actually no, I came looking for Regina. Is she here? Please tell me she is here."

Narrowing his eyes, Hook wondered why would Emma think that Regina was there; maybe it had something to do with the brunette accusing him of telling the blonde about them, maybe not… but not giving it too much thought and keeping on his earlier tone, he looked at her head to toe and arched an eyebrow. "Why, are you into that kind of thing; because I am… I'm all for sharing the love."

"Is she here, yes or no? It's simple… and Gosh get your mind off the gutter. I don't know how she puts with you."

"She likes putting up with me, who wouldn't?"

Rolling her eyes, Emma folded her arms to her chest. "Yes, or no, Hook?

Licking his lips and using his hook to scratch underneath his jaw, the man shrugged. "And do you think that if the Queen was here I would be up here alone enjoying the morning air and waiting for rain instead of below decks with her? She's not here."

"Damn it!" Emma groaned while massaging her temples and Hook frowned, a sense of worry making him get serious.

"Why, is there something wrong?"

Clenching her teeth, Emma blinked her eyes for several times and then shrugged. "I told the damn woman to lock her door and she didn't. Does she ever listen to me or to anyone for that matter?"

Dragging her hands to her hair, her eyes moved to settle on his and she sighed.

"Look, this morning Henry went to check on Regina and what he found was that apparently, someone broke into her house. The place is a mess, the door wide open and she's not there so I was hoping that she was here."

Blinking a couple of times himself as he registered what he was being told, Hook felt how his heart skipped a beat and then started beating with renewed force. It was now hammering against his chest because anyone who was brave enough to break into The Queen's house and trash it couldn't have been planning anything good.

"She was here last night but she went home before dawn." Aye, she left, he let her go alone.

"Well she isn't there. She's nowhere to be found." Tilting her head up so that she could stare into an overcast sky that extended to infinity, Emma sighed. "She's not here, I called Archie and she's not with him as Henry first thought and she is obviously not at her house. I checked everything and I don't know where she is."

Trying to banish the pang of jealousy that would settle in him whenever Regina was associated with her chirping pal, the cricket, Hook ran a hand down his face and tried to organize his thoughts.

Regina was a strong woman who could pretty much defend herself if in perish, but at the same time he couldn't help but to remember how not so long ago she was captured by Greg Mendel and that thought lead him to feel awful with the fact that he has assisted the man in getting Regina defenseless.

It has been basically because of him that Mendel has been able to put the cuff that neutralized her magic and after that he has gone off to torture her without mercy. He has been there… even though he hadn't cared to stay to watch her being tortured, he has been there…

What if he somehow got to her again? What if he once again found a way to get her defenseless?

"You never caught Greg Medel, did you?" He asked, but to that he already knew the answer.

"No." Emma said tensely and by the look in her eyes, Hook could see that she was thinking the same thing.

Clenching his jaw and adjusting his hook, the tall man inhaled deeply and putting his feet into motion, he walked pass Emma.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to look for her." He said without halting.

"Yeah but where?" Emma scoffed while going after him and to that, Hook found no answer.

He didn't know where he was going to look but he couldn't stay there waiting for things to happen. And if he found her with Mendel, he was going to kill him. That was motivation enough to make him move. So with his eyes darkening in determination, he made it down to the pier and started making it to the street.

"Hook, wait. Let me at least call David and figure this out. We can… I, I don't know. We can check if Gold has more of Regina's tears or if anyone in town knows something. We'll find her, but we can't just go looking aimlessly."

Swirling around on his feet so that he could face Emma, Hook bared his teeth. He wanted to tell her that he didn't want to waste more time than it was necessary because a minute could be too late, but when he opened his mouth it was to say an entirely different thing. "Why would that sneaky little imp have some of her tears?"

"I don't know, I don't know how and why he has most of the things he possesses but it was with a tear of hers he had how we found her last time."

Clenching his jaw so hard that he could feel the entire muscles of his face protesting, he watched as she took out the little device they called phone and started to press her fingers against it. Then she pressed it to her ear and after a few seconds she was talking through it.

"David, I'm here with Hook and she's not with him… yeah long story, listen, can you check with Gold to see if he has more of her tears, seems like it was Mendel again so… yeah, alright."

Putting the phone away from her ear, Emma sighed. "He's going to call Gold, meanwhile we can check the cannery to see if he went back there."

Nodding, he went with Emma, but after searching the place through, they found nothing. By the time they were done it was a bit shy of noon, it was pouring hard and Hook's mood had turned to acrid.

He just felt useless and frustrated and his anger towards Mendel in that moment was bordering in dangerous. "If he so much as touches her, I'll kill him."

Crouching down on the floor, Emma ran a hand through her hair and looked up at him. He was pacing so she had to move her gaze along with him. "You love her, don't you?"

Halting on his tracks and fixing his blue stare on her green one, he bit the inside of his cheek. "I won't go through this again, I already lost a woman I loved so I won't go through this again."

"Let's not think about that, because I don't want Henry to lose her too, you know… but wherever she is, she is not answering her phone either and that can't be a good thing." Emma said while stabbing her own phone with her fingers.

Blinking rapidly, Hook turned on his feet and walked to the entrance of the storeroom. "I'll go look somewhere else, I can't stay here." He hissed, but before he could take a step into the downpour outside, Emma's phone began to ring and startling a little at the strange sound, he turned to look at her.

"Did you found the tears?" Emma asked as soon as she put the phone against her face and when Hook saw how her eyes widened and her lips thinned, he assumed that whatever she was listening wasn't good.

"What is he saying?" He walked closer to her as he fell prey to apprehension. But Emma wasn't talking; she was just listening and every once in a while nodding.

It was only after a long while that she put the phone away and hid her face in her hands. "It was David, he said Tamara walked into the station and ranted on Mendel." Taking in a deep breath, she let her hands fall to her lap and she looked at him again. "She said that they broke into Regina's house last night and cuffed her again… then they took her to the forest, but when she saw that Mendel went psycho crazy she got the willies and left."

"Where is Regina?" Hook asked, already fearing the answer.

"As far as we know she is still with Mendel and Tamara claims that although a bit roughen up, she was still alive by the time she left. But um, she said that… Greg's intentions are burying her alive in the same place he found his father's body and Tamara left him digging that hole. She said that was about an hour ago."

Before Emma's last word was said, Hook was already in motion, walking out in the rain and determined to go to the forest. He didn't know where was that or how to get there, but when Emma came running after him telling him that she was going to take him in her car, he jumped into the opportunity and allowed her to take him there.

He still didn't trust the little traveling box but whatever would take him closer to Regina would have to do, so that way he made it to the forest way sooner than he would have done on foot.

As Emma drove, she was glued to the phone and amidst the one way conversation Hook found out that David was giving him instructions on the exact place according to Tamara and he also heard that the he was with Ruby trying to find a trace. All that he heard, but he didn't put too much attention to any of that and instead he was slowly despairing.

He couldn't lose Regina, especially after he has been stupid enough to let her go on her own the previous night. He should have made her stay with him, he should have told her that he loved her with child or not and he shouldn't have let her go.

But he did, and knowing that this was partly his fault was eating him inside out. He couldn't think of anything other than finding her alive and well… because if he didn't, he wasn't going to get through again.

Once in the forest, he opened the door before Emma could even park and in a matter of nothing he started looking for her. He walked through the woods silently praying to whatever Gods reigned Storybrooke that she would be okay, he walked and searched for her as a heavy veil of rain fell punishingly over him.

Not that it mattered to him; not when he was driven by desperation because in his mind every second was crucial. With that in mind, he blinked the icy-cold water of the rain out of his eyes and tensing his jaw as hard as he could, he kept on his search.

They already knew she was somewhere there, now it was a matter of finding her. That was unless she was already buried…

Aye, those right there were dark thoughts that nothing helped in the situation, but he couldn't help it, it was a possibility that they were already too late and that because of that, Regina and their unborn child were no more.

He wished he wouldn't think about that, but he just couldn't…

"Emma."

Tilting his head to the sound of a female voice calling for the Sheriff, Hook swallowed down and froze. The voice was obviously not Regina's, but for some reason that he couldn't quite understand, his stomach turned into a knot and his breathing ceased for a few seconds.

"Emma! We found her, she's here."

That was all he needed to hear to react and run towards the voice. He ran blindly, his mind repeating a litany over and over again.

'Please let her be alive, please…'

To the pirate, it felt as if he ran forever. He heard shots, he heard the rain falling heavy against his ears and he ran faster and faster. The rain wasn't letting him see the path ahead of him with clarity but he kept going, and it wasn't until he was a few steps away from them that he saw them.

"I found her." A young woman that he barely recognized as ruby said and feeling his heart shrinking, he halted. The woman was kneeling on the dirt and her hand was pressed to Regina's throat. "But she's not responding."

Taking a look at her, he saw that Ruby was right; Regina wasn't responding, she was laying on the mud with her eyes closed and her clothes drenched with the rain. She also looked pale, way too pale as if all the blood of her body had drained out of her body and in apprehension, he wondered if she was even alive.

"There's blood in her clothes but I can't see a cut… maybe her hair? I… I don't even know if she's alive."

"No…" Hook said and ran the rest of the way. Once close enough he basically pushed the other woman out of the way and going down on his knees, he took her in his arms.

"Regina." He whispered, bringing her closer so he could press two fingers to her throat. He didn't know much about those things, but he tried to look for a pulse that he never found. "Come on, don't do this to me."

Running his eyes all over her, his hands moved to her face and feeling that she was too cold, he shook his head. This couldn't be happening to him… not again, not again.

"Come on, love." He mumbled, brushing her hair out of her face and then running the ball of his thumb against her lips. She didn't respond to that either.

As he held her, in the background he heard people talking, probably Ruby and Emma, but he paid them no attention.

"Hook, let me check her. If she is alive we need to get her into a hospital."

"Shhh." Shaking his head, Hook pulled Regina closer to him and then he placed a hand to her chest. Holding his breath, he left the hand there while his eyes drank on the image of her.

She looked as if she was sleeping… her eyelashes, always long and perfect brushing ever so lightly against her cheeks, her lips, full and once so full of promised smooth and relaxed… she just looked so peacefully.

"Please, Regina…" He mumbled, barely realizing that he choked on the words. "Don't do this…"

As was to be expected, she offered no reply; but then, so very faintly, he felt her heart beating. It was almost imperceptible and at first he thought that he imagined it, but then he felt it again and gathering in his arms, he got to his feet.

She weighed next to nothing even when passed out and holding her in his arms in such a vulnerable state made him feel a new surge of anger swelling inside of him. He was going to deal with that later, Mendel better be prepared, but for now, he only needed to care about Regina.

"Is she…" Emma asked and Hook shook his head as he walked as fast as he could.

"No, so let's take her to that damn hospital."

XXXXXXX

Uff, this was really hard to write. It took me an eternity to get it done! Anyway, I hope it didn't disappoint as I'm straying out of the initial purpose of this story (which it was pure smut), but my muses tend to do what they want and yeah, somehow they wanted this. Thanks for reading!