Chapter 89: Porn Banned
Summary: When Master Hand accidentaly saw Ike on a porn channel, he decided to ban porn at Smash City forever. But, Ike suffers without it. Meanwhile, the guys spent the day at the beer for a drinking contest, but then they got into porn.
Production code: 608
Rated TV-14-DLSV
Ike and Marth are a porn place.
"Is this a good place to be in? I don't want Master Hand to know that we're here," said Marth.
"How come?" asked Ike.
"If he find out, porn will be banned," said Marth.
"Eh, we don't to worry. Master Hand doesn't watch porn anyway," said Ike.
Meanwhile, Master Hand is actually watching porn.
"Ugh, why the hell would you watch this crap? Sex stuffs gross me out," said Crazy Hand.
"Because I love that woman and I wanna masturbate," said Master Hand.
"You're a freaking hand. That's impossible. Plus you don't let the Smashers do or watch porn," said Master Hand.
"I know, but now I'm in love with a girl," said Master Hand.
"Great, always has to be in love with blondes," said Crazy Hand, annoyed.
Then on another plot...the guys are watching. They kept channel surfing until a commercial with Mark came.
"(on TV) Alright, everyone. Is anyone ready for the big day at Smash Bar?" asked Mark.
"Oh my god, Mark's having a commercial!" gasped Link.
"This should be interesting," said Mario.
"That's right! We're having a Beer Wrestling match!" said Mark. "Get ready to drink and wrestle. It is this weekend from 12 noon to 12 midnight. Be there!"
"Mario, your right! We should participate," said Yoshi.
"Let's go..." said DDD. "I wanna be the strongest guy there."
The guys went to Smash Bar.
At the porn place.
"Alright, Ike, are you ready for your first porno?" asked the manager.
"Hell yeah," said Ike, arms crossed.
"Then start!"
"Hey babes." said Ike.
"Hey babes." said the woman, in a deep voice.
"Aw, goddamn it. We're not live yet. Wait a sec. We're live. Begin again," said the manager.
Ike and the woman said what they did earlier.
"Master Hand, look!" said Crazy Hand.
"Huh? Is that Ike?" asked Master Hand, confused.
"I don't know. Might be him," said Crazy Hand.
"(gasps) Holy fucking shit! It's Ike on porn!" said Master Hand.
Ike moans as he made out.
"God, I cannot watch this," said Master Hand.
"Oh, hi Master Hand!" Ike waved to him.
Master Hand growls frustratingly.
"Hi! You're watching me?" asked Ike.
"PORN SHOULD BE BANNED!" yelled Master Hand.
"What? I thought you loved it," said Crazy Hand.
"Not anyone -Ike's on porn. I'm gonna end this. And I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind," said Master Hand.
He stormed off angrily.
"Ike, how was it?" asked the manager.
"It was fucking amazing! I'm doing it again," said Ike.
The door opened to reveal an angry Master Hand.
"Well, well, well, look who didn't listen."
"Mh, what are you doing here?" asked Ike.
"To stop this shit," said Master Hand.
"Really?" gasped the mager.
"That's right. I'm banning it," said Master Hand.
Later, Keith Kirby reported this story.
"Breaking news! Master Hand banned porn because he saw one of his person working there," said Keith.
Ike started to whimper like a little girl.
"Grow up, you dick," said Marth. "You were such an asshole for being on live TV."
"I can't! I hasn't cried this much since the Black Knight beat me up," said Ike.
"Shut up," said Marth. "Let's move on to something else."
Ike cried even more...
Meanwhile the guys had arrived at Smash Beer.
"Hey guys. Y'all knew you'd be coming here," said Mark.
"Heck yeah. We're always here for you," said Luigi.
"Alright, boys, you may take a seat over there," said Mark.
"So Mark what you doing for today?" asked Fox.
"We're having a wrestling match. It'll be awesome," said Mark. "Any of you guys in?"
"Let's take our time and watch these guys, ok?" asked Mario.
"Yeah, sure," said Mark.
They sat down on the chair.
"Hey, I already know how to cross my legs," said Luigi.
The guys laughed.
"At last, Luigi. That's really a good one here," said Kirby.
"Any who, let's go watch them," said Mark. "They're gonna kick ass today."
Two tough guys were completing on the same match. The other guy who was overweight beat up the middlewieight.
"Wow, he's such a big person," said Kirby.
"Guys, I'm nervous," said Link. "What if he beats us?"
"We're screwed," replied King Dedede.
"Don't worry, some one tougher need to beat his ass already," said Yoshi.
"Next, a stronger but lightweight person, Sammy Vaughah," said Mark.
"I hope he's stronger," said Wolf.
Sammy beat up the fat wrestler.
The guys cheered.
"At last, man! That guy beat the hell outta that fatso!" said Luigi.
"High five, guys!" said Mario.
They does so.
"So, Mark, when we're next?" asked Kirby.
"Why? You guys wanna be in it?" asked Mark.
"Yes, really badly. So can you put us on the wrestling thing or whatever it's called?" asked Luigi.
"Yeah sure. You boys go there," said Mark.
The guys are excited for the match.
"So who we're fighting against?" asked Yoshi.
"You guys will be fighting against those three," said Mark.
"Those guys are not that bad. I think they're easy to beat," said Mario.
"Yeah, let's go defeat them," said Link.
The guys fight and of course they won.
"Team Smash won the match! Great work, guys," said Mark.
Back to the main plot...
"So Master Hand, why did you banned porn forever?" asked Ike.
"Because it is a bunch bullshit assholes created," said Master Hand.
"Whoa...that a weird reply," said Ike.
"So, what were you trying to tell me?" asked Master Hand.
"Now that porn's banned what is gonna be my main hobby?" asked Ike.
"You can date a slut or a bitch to prove that you can still do sex stuffs," said Master Hand.
"Yeah sure. Master Hand, that's a great idea, man. I'll do it," said Ike.
"Hehehe, good luck," said Master Hand.
"Ike, what did Master Hand told you?" asked Marth.
"Go get a girl and have sex with it," said Ike.
"Really, that was such a simple reply he did." said Marth.
"Yup, so what about you? You're getting a bitch?" asked Ike.
"Eh, no thanks, they're all full of disasters and they often got in the way in my friends' friendship," said Marth.
"Oh, anyway, see ya later," said Ike.
2 hours later...
Ike has found a woman.
"Uh, what exactly are we doing?" asked Ike's girl.
"We're going to my place," said Ike.
"What type of place?"
"It's unusual..."
At the mansion.
Marth said: "Hey Ike. I knew you got your girl."
"Yeah, let's hide it from master," said Ike. "He might hate his advice."
"How come?" asked Marth.
"Because he blaming himself so that," said Ike.
Master Hand bangs himself.
The end...not really?
Tagline...
"You forgot us, idiot!" said King Dedede.
"Sorry," said the director. "I thought you guys appeared in this episode."
"Son of a bitch, I hate you," said King Dedede.
He punched the director.
"What was that for?" asked Meta Knight. "He didn't do anything."
"He appeared in the goddamn episode. I wanted him not to involved." said King Dedede, angry.
"So, how was your time, boys?" asked Master Hand.
"Awesome, we did wrestling or some shit," said Link.
"Really, I bang myself in the head," said Master Hand.
Weird silence and the episode ends.