To clear up any confusion Jace and Clary did, ahem..., at the end of chapter eight. I'm sorry about the confusion but I wanted to try and keep it ambiguous (fail on my part). If someone would like to PM me with suggestions on improvements to the ending of that chapter to help clarify it would be greatly appreciated.
Edit 5/20/14: I've went through the entire story up to this point and rectified any and all mistakes I could find. I hope this makes reading a bit smoother!
Waiting for the doctor to come back with the results was terrifying. Isabelle had propped herself up on the table with me to reassuringly squeeze my hand, while scanning the various posters on the wall and commenting how she would 'clearly picture these when she had a problem and was looking for a solution'. I was too busy thinking about ways to tell Jace what had happened to give back any commentary on her sarcasm. I jumped and almost fell off the table when Dr. Maline knocked on the door and came in. She looked up from the charts in her hands with a sympathetic expression, a small smile gracing her face. She paused a moment to tell Isabelle to get off the table, allowing my mind to continue to race ahead. My heart sank and ice ran through my veins.
I was pregnant.
I was going to have a baby.
Jace was going to have a baby.
We were going to have a baby.
Jace was going to be furious.
Jace was going to kill me.
"You're not pregnant Clary; however a couple of essential vitamin levels were quite low causing fatigue, dizziness, nausea, and vomiting. Certain factors such as stress, sudden temperature changes, hunger, and lack of sleep would set off the symptoms. I'm going to prescribe you some high dose vitamins and I want you to start eating a balanced..." I had toned out at 'You're not pregnant' and a flood of relief rushed over me in crushing waves. Dr. Maline handed me a prescription with scribbled writing on it, patted me on the shoulder, and left the room.
"You okay?" Hearing Isabelle's unusually soft voice snapped me out of the trance I was in. I shook my head to further clear my thoughts and gave Isabelle a small smile.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking. When she walked in with that expression on her face, I was sure she was gonna tell me I was pregnant. Then I started to think and I was actually scared Jace would leave or even hurt me."
"Oh Clary its okay, but humor me this: has Jace ever tried to hurt you or gave you a single sign he would bolt at the first sign of trouble?" I shook my head and put it in my hands.
"Then why do you think Jace would even consider hurting you?"
"I don't know!" I cried out, my arms wrapping around my waist in a futile effort to protect myself from the dangerous thoughts swirling around in my mind. I honestly had no reason to be afraid of Jace, he never had tried to hurt me or even joked about anything that could hurt even my feelings. So why was I afraid of Jace?
"I think you're afraid of losing him, and it hurting you emotionally rather than physically. I know he loves you Clary, so much that he would never let anything happen to you or himself." I took a deep breath and nodded, wiping the tears from my face. Isabelle wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me from the room and into the hall.
"Come on, we can stop and rent a crap ton of movies, buy a crap ton of ice cream, and paint our nails or some shit like that." I laughed and started to pick up my pace towards the car.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
"Jace? I'm back!" I paused for a minute to listen for Jace, but shrugged when I didn't hear him and continued up to the room we now shared. I was putting various things away from the previous night when Jace finally made his appearance. I didn't notice him lean against the door frame until he cleared his throat, making me drop the bag I had in my hands. I placed a hand to my beating chest and took a deep breath. Jace locked his eyes onto something at my feet, an expression flitting across his face to quickly for me to identify it.
"So Clary, what's in that bag?" I glanced at the bag he nodded at, dread flooding my veins. It was the prescription bag my vitamins were in. Initially the pharmacist wanted to put me on prenatal pills, but I refused on the premise Jace might see them and assume the wrong thing. So they ended up giving me regular high potency vitamins, complete with the bag displaying where they came from. Crap.
"It's a prescription..." I trailed off, uncertain if he was going to be angry or just a little upset with me.
"Clary, why did you refuse to let me take you to the doctors but allowed Izzy?" Double crap. I was gonna have to come clean. I sighed heavily and flopped back on the bed, a couple bags landing in the floor from the impact. Jace sat beside me and pulled my head onto his lap to play with my loose curls.
"Promise not to get worked up about this?" Jace nodded and continued to stroke my hair while staring into my eyes.
"When I was on the phone with Isabelle the other day, we got on the subject of me being sick for so long. She mentioned something that shook me up, enough that she convinced me to let her take me to the doctor's office." A curious look replaced the serious one on his face.
"She mentioned I could possibly be... pregnant." I whispered the last part, slightly flinching when I saw a million different thoughts pass over Jace's face, anger being one of them.
"Are you?" I barely heard him, so it took me a second longer to process his words.
"No, I'm not. It was just a strange combination of low vitamins and certain things would set off the symptoms I was having. Super vitamins are in the bag." After Jace was quiet for a couple minutes and still hadn't moved from his spot I whispered a quiet apology. That seemed to snap him out of the stupor he was in.
"What?"
"I said I was sorry. I was just scared you would be angry if I did let you take me and it turned out I was pregnant..." I saw the hurt flash in his eyes and instantly regretted what I had said.
"Why would you think I could ever be angry at you for something like that? Sure it would have been a little earlier than expected, but I couldn't be angry with you. It does take two people to make a baby after all, so half the blame would have also been mine." I clapped my hands over my eyes as the tears began flow freely, unbidden sobs echoing through the room. I felt Jace quickly go stiff from panic.
"Oh god Clary, I didn't mean to make you cry." Jace easily hauled me up onto his lap and wrapped his strong arms tightly around me. I struggled to take in a breath to speak but eventually managed.
"No Jace you didn't do anything! I'm so stupid t-thinking you would be a-a-angry with m-me and not even c-considering, oh Jace I'm so so s-sorry!" I was half wailing at this point, feeling lower than dirt for thinking such stupid things. I flung my arms around his neck, clinging to him like he might vanish into thin air. A hand came to rest on my back, slowly trailing down my back in a soothing motion.
"It's okay Clary, I'm not mad or upset with you. I understand why you did what you did, but just know that I'll love you no matter what."
"I love you too Jace." He shifted us so we were lying correctly on the bed instead of sideways, arms wrapping around me in a tight embrace with one hand splayed across my stomach.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
I woke up several hours later to a strange sensation. My face and arms were freezing cold, but everywhere Jace touched me was burning hot. Sleepily I gazed slowly around the room to try and figure out why it was so cold, when I noticed the balcony door was cracked open. Jace groaned softly in his sleep while burying his face in my neck, probably feeling the cold as I was. A second later he sighed and opened his eyes to also rest on the balcony. A chilly breeze was drifting through the narrow space, enough to probably nudge the door open. He murmured an apology before rising from the bed to walk across the room and shut the door. He fiddled with the lock for a second, cursing under his breath when a final chill crept through the room. After Jace had slipped back under the still warm covers and curled around me again, I started to drift off into a peaceful sleep, dismissing the flicker of shadow on the balcony as part of my imagination.