"Stop me if you've heard this one before. Barbara Gordon opens the door and…"
Kory tried to blast him in the face, but he dodged it.
"You have? Okay, how about this one? Jason Todd walks into a crowbar and says, AUUGHHH!"
Kory tried to blast him again, but the Joker dodged every shot and ducked out of the room.
"Oh dear, I'm becoming predictable."
Kory flew down the hall after the Joker, but he was nowhere to be found.
"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CRAZY CREEP!?"
"Crazy? Crazy!? I'm not the one that dresses up like a stripper at a sci-fi convention."
The Joker's voice was echoing throughout the whole house. Kory looked around for any sign of the Joker or Dick, but there was none to be found.
"I've seen Deathstroke's files Star Girl, and I'm legitimately surprised that you're not as nutty as a fruitcake. I mean, I had one bad day, ho-ho-ho-ho… but you're a natural disaster compared to me! And now you intend to marry Bird Brat? Well, I guess Bats' family must have some pretty damn good insurance all things considered… but seriously, was one nutjob in the family not enough for you?"
Kory yelled and unleashed a burst of energy that destroyed everything around her, but there was still no sign of the Joker.
"Oh sure, blow everything up, I'm sure that proves you're not insane. Silly girl, we're all crazy; you, me, Bats, and Bird Brat. The difference is I admit it, and I can see the funny side!"
Lightning flashed outside. Kory moved slowly through the house, ready to react as soon as the Joker showed his face.
"If he's harmed one hair on Dick's head…"
The door down the hall was ajar. Not taking any chances, Kory blasted it. Water started pouring onto the floor.
"Congratulations, you've destroyed a toilet. Here's your prize."
Kory ducked out of the way in time to avoid getting hit in the face with a pie.
"Listen up Star Whore, because I'm only going to say this once. Everything that anyone's ever valued is all a great big joke, and marriage is one of the biggest jokes of all. You and Bird Brat are just getting to the punchline a lot sooner."
Dick had warned Kory that the Joker liked to talk, he was trying to distract her; but the moment he showed himself, she would be ready to fry him.
"Think about it. You meet that special someone at the altar, you think it's going to be forever, but they always end in betrayal and death."
Kory had heard the Joker's voice while Dick had been going through Batman's files, but it was a lot more intimidating in person. She shouldn't have been afraid, but as the freezing rain poured and lightning flashed outside, she could hear her heart pounding.
"Maybe marriage meant something once, but not anymore," laughed the Joker. "Today it has become so meaningless that anyone can be married to anything, and they never last! I once knew a man who married a cow, no seriously! It was bound to end in tragedy, but at least she made some killer cheeseburgers! HO-HO-HO!
"That's right, keep talking you ugly shibirfarnax," thought Kory.
"I also knew a man whose marriage didn't survive the honeymoon. The poor bastard had a diarrhea attack while he and his wife were consummating, and she never forgave him. Sad, but hilarious!"
When Kory came into the next room, there were three puppets rigged to the ceiling. One looked like her, one looked like Dick, and the third looked like a priest.
"Do you, Bird Brat, promise to love, honor, and cherish until your wife starts packing the pounds and someone better comes along?" said the puppet that looked like a priest.
"Yep, then I'll put her in a wood chipper," said the puppet that looked like Dick. "I may go to prison for the rest of my life, but at least I'll save a fortune in alimony."
The puppet that looked like Kory was flung into a nearby woodchipper.
"Ow! That's gotta hurt!" laughed the Joker.
"There will be nothing left of him to bury!" thought Kory.
"What's wrong Star Girl? No witty remarks or threats?" asked the Joker. "I thought you Teen Twerps were all about trash talk. But that's okay, I'll provide the narration."
There was another bright flash of lightning outside, and a loud boom of thunder.
"I had a wife once… I bet you didn't know that… She was so beautiful, she'd make you look like an elderly leper on a bad hair day. HEE-HEE-HOO-HOO-HOO! She loved clowns… so every weekend... I would dress up as one for her. Like any good husband, all I wanted was for her to be happy… but there's only so much you can do when you're stuck in a dead-end job that barely pays the rent."
Kory could've sworn she heard movement behind her, but she didn't hit anything but the wall.
"So, I agree to help Falcone's men rob the one place in town that gave me a job. Unknown to me, my wife had already been killed by some muggers. Falcone's men forced me to wear this stupid mask that turned everything red. The next thing I knew, all hell broke loose. I ran for dear life, and that's when I saw him…"
There was another loud boom of thunder.
"I panicked, I screamed, and I fell; or maybe he picked me up and threw me, I'm not quite sure… The next thing I knew, I was drowning in a vat of chemicals. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and then I blacked out… When I finally came to, I had washed up on the shore somewhere on the edge of the city. Ace Chemicals never did care one bit about the environment. I remember tearing the mask off and running all the way home. All I wanted to do was embrace my wife and tell her how much I loved her. When I finally stopped running, I found my beloved wife lying in a puddle of her own blood. I fell to my knees, and I saw my new reflection for the first time, all in red, and all I could do was laugh… It was a lot like Canio in Pagliacci."
The whole house was filled with the horrible sound of the Joker singing.
"Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor! HA-HA-HA-HA!"
Kory realized that the laughter was coming from outside. She blew the wall and the Joker was right there waiting for her with two crowbars.
"I hope Bird Brat doesn't mind if I steal the first dance… Hell, I'll steal the whole bride!"
Kory kept her distance and tried to blast the Joker, but couldn't land a single hit.
"He's just a guy in a purple suit! Why is he so hard to hit?!"
"This reminds me of the last time I broke up with Harley, only with fewer energy bolts and more broken knickknacks. I think it had something to do with her cooking."
The Joker started throwing knives at Kory.
"So, Batman rushes over and punches me. And I said, 'Joker?! I thought you said choke her!' And that's why Harley broke up with me for the third time. She never complained about it during our play sessions. I swear to God, that girl must watch Fifty Shades of Grey religiously. HA-HA-HA!"
"DO YOU EVER SHUT UP!?"
"Not if I can help it! Come on Star Girl, you know what a monstrous demented gag the whole universe is! Hell, you probably know it better than me! I mean, your bitter older sister betrayed your family and planet, and you had to endure six years of abuse for it! Why can't you see the funny side?!"
"I don't think it's funny! And you, try laughing when you don't have lungs."
"Kinky."
The Joker leapt up a tree after Kory, but she blasted the branch off and caught him on the way down. She threw him into several trees and started to beat him until she heard bones snap and his face was covered with blood.
"Where's Dick!?"
"Nope, I'm not singing," replied the Joker, coughing up a huge amount of blood.
"Then I'll make you scream!"
Kory started generating a starbolt in her hand but didn't fire it. She pressed the raw energy against the Joker's chest and listened to him wail. Suddenly, another starbolt came out of nowhere and blasted Kory through the air.
"YOU!"
"You didn't really think I was going to let Joker have all the fun, did you sister dear?"
As Kory and her sister came to blows, she quickly realized that they weren't alone. More and more of the Titan's enemies seemed to have come to extract their pound of flesh.
"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"
Just then, Kory felt something overtake her.
"Kory, you have to stop!"
Kory recognized Raven's voice. She must've been controlling her with her soul-self.
"Raven, they're trying to kill me!"
"Kory, you have to listen to me! Whatever you're fighting, it isn't real!"
Kory felt something sharp dig into her neck. She turned around and couldn't believe her eyes, it was Trigon.
"That's impossible! We killed you!"
Kory blinked her eyes several times, and Trigon disappeared.
"Batman?"
Blackfire and all the others were gone as well, replaced by the Titans. That's when she heard the screaming.
"No… NO!"
Somewhere far away, the Joker watched and laughed as Starfire fell her knees crying while the others tried to revive Nightwing. He turned back to his Chess game with the mannequin dressed as Batman. He moved Batman's queen so that it attacked her own knight.
"Here comes the groom!" he sang. "Fall down go boom! Oops, he might be dead! Guess we'll have a funeral instead! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"