Disclaimer: the whole song and dance… not mine… j.k. rowling's
"Hey, Lily. Feeling a bit better?" James eased into the darkened room, seeing her sitting up on the bed, her back against the wall, knees at a forty-five degree angle, a small book, in which she was scribbling furiously, propped up against her kneecaps. Her hair was like a curtain that hung about her face, shielding her soul from the world.
"Yeah, I am. The sleep helped a bit. Thanks." She looked up, smiling and he could see that she truly did look better. As he walked closer, she shut the book with a snap and placed it in the drawer at the bedside. When he sat down, she had pulled out her wand and was muttering an incantation, so softly that he couldn't hear. A yellow light shone from the tip and encased the drawer; a loud click was heard and the light dissipated. "So, what sorts of homework do you have for me? I don't think I'll be going out for some time so I'd appreciate it if I had something to do to fill up my time." She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, watching him expectantly as he dumped the contents of his bag in the space next to her.
"Well, for potions, just write an essay on Pain Relieving Potions, since you weren't there for the practical part. Here," he threw her a long scroll of parchment on which the teachers had written her assignments, all wishing her a fast recovery. "That should keep you busy for a spell." He lapsed into silence, waiting for Lily to say something to him. But she was too absorbed in reading the parchment to notice him, only looking up when his stomach rumbled loudly. "I better get to dinner. I dunno what we're having but it's bound to be delicious."
"Just don't take too long stuffing your face so I can stuff mine."
"No problem. You won't have to wait too long." He dropped his books and, without the extra weight was able to run fairly fast to the kitchens where the house elves were scurrying in a flurry of activity. Above, he could hear distant sounds of happy chattering and the clanking of knives and forks as the students gobbled up the feast.
"Good evening, Master Potter. We's haven't seen you for a long time." A wrinkly old house elf squeaked at James' elbow.
"Oh, hello, Hansley." He smiled down at the short elf and knelt down so they were face-to-face.
"What can I do for sir?" The elf's brown eyes brightened and his bat ears perked. He was so eager to please and was always willing to fetch something for James when he visited.
"D'you think you could prepare a basket of the food that you've prepared for dinner? Just for two people and put it in a picnic basket?"
"Ahhh. Hansley sees. Master Potter is going on a date?" Hansley nodded sagely, and a second later was scurrying about laying things gently, almost lovingly into a wicker basket. "There. Sir, I hope you find it to your liking." The house elf handed James a wicker basket practically bursting with sumptuous goodies. Almost five minutes later, James stood at the portrait hole, doubled over, panting. The portrait flung open, catching him on the forehead and knocking him over but with his reflexes, he was able to roll, cat-like, on his back so as not to squash the picnic he carried in his arms.
"I wondered what took you so long. Did you eat?" Lily stood, framed by the walls, her hands on her hips.
"No. I didn't. I went down to the kitchens to get a basket to carry all your food in. Come on," he stood, brushing himself off with a hand, "let's go down to the lake." He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the room.
"But-but," she spluttered.
"None of that, Evans." He told her sternly. "Come on, you need to get out and I don't think you should be going in the Great Hall so, the next best thing is the lake." They pushed the entrance door open and stepped into the warm spring night. The sun was already beginning to set and the grounds were bathed in a blood-red light. The lake mirrored the setting sun and the array of colors displayed in the sky. He continued walking, her hand still caught in his, not stopping until they reached a thick oak tree standing at the edge of a small bunch of bushes which led to the Forbidden forest. Waving his wand in a careless, squiggly way, he conjured up a large, warm blanket and candles which settled at the base of the tree. He plopped down, crossing his legs and faced the lake, gesturing for her to follow his lead.
"This is nice." She sighed, sitting down next to him, her legs beneath her and over to one side in a proper position. "What's for eating?"
"I really don't know." James shrugged and began pulling the food from the basket.
"But there's so much of it. I can't eat it all." Lily gazed, horrified at the food lying in front of her. "What do you think I am? A cow?"
"No, no. Some of it's for me too. You don't expect me to starve, do you?" James picked up a roasted chicken leg and bit into it with gusto.
"Oh." Lily fell silent. Then, "ohhhhhh. You're very sneaky, you are, James Potter. Luring me out on a date." She prodded him, a hard edge to her voice, though she was laughing too. "Well, I guess I should give you some points. You did manage to trick me, after all." After that, it was silent, both just enjoying the others company, eating their way through pork chops and chicken, puddings and treacle tarts. By the time both had stopped eating, the sky was ink black and numerous stars twinkled overhead. Groaning, both leaned back on the tree, their shoulders touching. "Just don't try this again, James. More of this and I really will be a cow." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Why did you fancy me so much before? I mean, I wasn't anything special. And you had loads of girls dying to be yours who were so much prettier than me."
"Well, I guess it had something to do with the fact that you stood up to me. You never tried to change yourself just to impress me and that impressed me. I looked at you and you were so fiery and temperamental and smart." He looked at her. "And beautiful. I always thought you were prettier than all the girls in this school. You're red hair that just falls on your shoulders and those green eyes of yours. Piercing and soft all at once. I loved that. I loved how you always smoothed out your robes once you sat down, then tucked your hair behind your ears before you ate anything. How when you looked down, this curtain would fall in front of your face. How you could never hide your emotions because your eyes always turned darker when you were upset or angry and lightened when you smiled or wanted to. How you always had the nerve to tell me off and never let me get away with things. God, Lily, you drove me crazy. All rules and no fun. I hated that and yet, it always gave me a chance to talk to you because you hated when I did something inappropriate and always bothered to tell me so. I loved how when you got frustrated with me, you would hunch your shoulders to your ears and tense your back. Your hands would curl into fists as if you would have thumped me if you weren't so proper. How your ears turned the same red as your hair and how your eyes would look like they were made of green fire. How your hair seemed to puff up like a mad cat's fur." He trailed off. She was looking up at him, her cheek touching his shoulder, her eyes were beaming. Suddenly, he was caught with such an urge to kiss her that he had to obey. Without thinking of the consequences, he lowered his face and pressed his lips to hers.
Her eyes widened. What was he doing? He, James Potter was kissing her, Lily Evans! Oh my god, it felt so good. What was she thinking? What was he thinking? God, she wasn't thinking about anything. Just about his lips, so soft, and the gentleness with which he was kissing. She'd never been kissed this good before. And then, she found herself kissing back. Their lips came together and she opened her mouth and, was that his tongue?, and he was kissing her and he tasted so good. Instinctively, her hand reached up and tangled itself in the soft black hair at the nape of his neck. It was heaven, sitting under that old oak tree, kissing. He shifted slightly to find a more comfortable position, his lips never leaving hers as he moved and pretty soon, Lily was practically lying down, her back against the trunk and he was lying beside her, the top half of his body on top of hers, his hands were on the side of her face and they were lost in the sensation of each other's kisses. His tongue explored her mouth and she moaned softly in her throat. His hands moved from her face to her chest and he began kneading the soft flesh under his fingers. She gasped as a feeling, unbidden, filled her. But it felt so pleasant she couldn't let him stop and moved her body closer to his. His nimble fingers began undoing the buttons on her jumper; somehow he was able to do this with one hand because his other snaked down her body and under her skirt. Lily moaned, all coherent thought flying from her mind as a fire blazed between her legs. His fingers were doing wicked things to her and she was moving with them, arching her back against them, bidding them to touch her harder. But James was being such a gentleman, touching her softly, gently as the final button came undone. Her eyes snapped open as his lips attacked her chest; he removed his hand from her skirt and reached under her, unhooking her bra, and suddenly, the spell broke. She gave a little shriek and pushed him off, covering herself. He rolled off her and watched her, confused.
"No." She cried her voice barely above a whisper. "No. James, I can't. I'm sorry." She fumbled with her bra, hooking it and closed her shirt with trembling fingers. "I can't believe I just did that." And with a sob, she pushed herself off the ground and before James could call for her, was gone.
She had looked so surprised. Almost as if she'd been under hypnosis and once he'd exposed her breasts, she'd woken up. James lay back, running a hand through his soft black hair. Now he was back to square one. She wouldn't trust him now, certainly not. And he'd come so close. What were you thinking? You knew she was off limits. He berated himself. The raging in his trousers was pinching quite painfully now.
"Dammit." He groaned. He could still taste her, still feel her skin underneath his fingertips, still hear her moaning softly as he touched her. "I am such an idiot." He stood and gathered the picnic things. With a wave of his wand, they disappeared into the kitchens. Sighing, he walked to his dorm and flopped on the bed without taking off his shoes.
"James?! James, we know you're in there. Let us in!" Sirius shouted through the wall. He groaned. Now was not the best time to be interrogated by his friends.
"Come in." he muttered, figuring that they'd get in somehow; they always did. Sirius, and Remus came bursting in and they jumped on the bed with him.
"We were coming to look for you and then we saw Lily. She was running faster than I've ever seen, I think she was crying too. I asked her if she'd seen you but she just started to cry harder and run faster. What'd you do to her?" Sirius demanded, poking a finger at James' chest. "Tell us everything. We won't leave here and we won't stop bugging you until you tell us. What's going on?"
"Padfoot, please. I don't want to talk about it." James rolled, turning his back on his friends.
"No! You'll tell us. You've been hiding something from us and we want to know. Come on, we're your best mates."
"You promise you won't tell anyone, not a soul, what I'm about to tell you?" He faced them again, no hint of playfulness in his voice, seriousness emanating from the beautiful hazel orbs that gazed at two confused boys.
"Yeah. Of course we won't tell." Remus assured. James sat up and leaned against the headboard, running a hand through the soft, messy fluff on top of his head.
"Okay. Nothing leaves this room," he waited until his friends nodded then started again, "Lily was raped. And I found her and she was a mess. God, he messed her up real bad. There were bruises all over her and- and she was crying, sobbing her heart out. And this is Lily. Cold, mean, ice-queen Lily, crying like a baby. Now she can't sleep and can't concentrate. He threatened her and she's bloody scared out of her mind." James groaned and put his face into his hands. "And then she starts to trust me. I mean, she begins to trust me. You know that night I spent with her? That was cause he was going to hurt her. So I suggested she come here and we talked. For once, it wasn't that she was yelling at me for something that I'd done and I wasn't trying to get her mad at me. We were just talking, like two friends. And I told her how I felt and it was going so good. And then, I helped her and I gained her trust and she bloody trusted me. And then, and then-" he stopped there. "Oh god, I was so stupid. Today I skived off dinner so I could bring her food and we went out to the lake and it was terrific. Just us and we were having a good time, just talking, you know? And it was really fantastic. And I kissed her."
"You kissed her?" Remus interjected, horrified. "James, she had just been raped. And you kissed her?"
"Well, she didn't tell me to stop, so I didn't. She lay down and I was kissing her and god, she tastes bloody fantastic and it got- hot and I started taking off her jumper and my hand went under her skirt and-"
"Hold on, you were touching her too?!" Remus was mad now. Sirius hadn't said a word, only gawped incredulously at James. He looked stunned, envious, impressed and disgusted all at once and the effect was rather comical if James hadn't been feeling so miserable.
"No, Mooney, hold on." James held up a placating hand. "She was having a good time. She was- reacting-" he blushed, "but in a good way. Then her jumper came off completely and she freaked on me. I would have stopped if she had told me but she seemed to be having a good time and I know I should have stopped but- the way she was kissing and the way she tasted- I just couldn't and I kept telling myself to stop but she kept egging me on and then she flipped. I know, I know, I'm a prat and a horny bastard but good lord-" he groaned and his voice cracked, "now I've gone and betrayed her trust and now she's going to hate me. Just when I thought we were getting along finally, I just had to pull something like this. I'm such a godawful idiot." And he was. James looked up and his friends were surprised and concerned to see that tears were welling up in his eyes. "I had her trust and I had her friendship. Why'd I go and do something so stupid?"
"Hey James, it's okay. It'll be okay. I'm sure she'll forgive you." Sirius placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and when James threw him a disbelieving glare, added quickly, "Eventually."
"It's just that- what if she never does? I mean, god, I came so close and then- I'm so bloody stupid!" he burst out, slamming his fist on the bed.
"Come on, Prongs. What were you thinking?" Remus watched his friend sternly.
"I don't know!" James wailed. "I don't know! I kept telling myself to stop and I know I should have but she kept moaning and it was all so terrific that I couldn't stop. I wanted to and I would have if she had asked. I just thought that she was having a good time and maybe she was but- oh, I dunno. It's all so confusing." He buried his face in his hands again. "I will never understand the female gender."
"I think you should apologize to her. Go on." Remus shoved James off the bed. "Go apologize to her."
"But- but," James stammered, picking himself off the floor.
"GO!" he thundered and James stared before turning and walking out of the room. He made his way through the halls and up the stairs until he came to her room. He muttered the password to the portrait and it opened for him. Praying that she wouldn't hex him or curse him or refuse to listen to him, he stepped through the threshold. Please Lily. What I did tonight was stupid, I know, but please, give me another chance.
A/N: Haha. Evil cliffie. . Will Lily hex him? Will she listen to him? What will James say to plead his case to her?
Thanks to everyone who reviewed… and I am very sorry to say that since I have no idea what will happen next (and the evil pile of summer homework that I swear is feeding off my socks and growing) will prevent me from updating quickly but I will do my very best to get the next chapter to you as soon as possible.