disclaimer: disclaimed.
dedication: to drunkzutarafeels, Jupiter, and V.
notes: barfs.

chapter title: if you should go right now
summary: Zuko, Katara, and life after the war. — Zuko/Katara, others.

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Katara crumpled against the wall in the guest room she'd long claimed as her own, breathing fast and shallow. She'd fled Toph's ugly smirk and Zuko's knowing eyes without a second thought to either of them; hiding was easier for now, until she'd managed to settle her mind around Aang.

The world was moving too fast, and she'd lost her footing somewhere along the way.

Getting it back was her main priority, right then.

She didn't forget what she represented. She was two nations' hope for peace and prosperity, and she couldn't let herself forget it. It was writ right into her very skin, after a month in the Fire Nation's capital—Aang might have been the Avatar, but sometimes Katara thought that he was an intangible thing with the way he was always disappearing to some other part of the world. So she didn't forget. She couldn't.

And there was Zuko to consider, too.

Zuko and Azula, more like.

All of Katara's memories of the Fire Princess were a jumble of terror and the acrid taste of burnt wood in her mouth. There was no line, nothing that ever stated the Princess went from manipulative to crazy, because to Katara, it all looked the same.

Azula had spent so much time trying to kill them.

It was a mercy that they'd all gotten out alive.

Or at least some semblance of alive. Katara thought of the long nights at the Pole, Aang's face a war between his want and his fear in the bright white of the sun off the snow, and her own cowardice. Coward, she told herself. Coward!

Katara shuddered, and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. The silence ate at the back of her eyes and calmed her all at once, and there was no telling it different. She leaned her head against the wall and took great gulps of wet air into her lungs until she'd stopped blubbering and her stomach wasn't in her throat anymore.

The knock on the door was echoey-loud in her ears.

"Get out here, Sugarqueen, you're being lame," Toph said, and barged through the door.

Katara had time to think she was lucky that the tiny earthbender-girl hadn't just smashed through the door before Toh bowled her over and stood over her with her tiny hands on her hips. Fourteen-year-old Toph was twelve-year-old Toph, only with more back-talk and less tact, if that was even possible.

"Hi, Toph," Katara sighed in reply.

"Hei Bai, you actually are hiding! Sparky wasn't lying, wow, I owe him an apology. Oh well, whatever—get up, Sweetness, we got things to do," Toph said, matter-of-fact, and stomped the floor to have the marble push Katara into standing.

A helpless little giggle escaped Katara. That was so Toph.

"Do I get a choice?" Katara asked.

"Do you ever get a choice," Toph asked rhetorically. She'd already bounced to Katara's vanity and was rooting around in the drawers. "Got any food, Sweetness? Sparky wouldn't feed me, what an ass, right? And Twinkles totally sucks about food—seriously, I need meat, okay? I need meat!"

Katara smothered a giggle behind a hand. "You sound like Sokka."

Toph went a little stiff, spine turning to metal beneath her skin in a move that had always been her first defense when anyone mentioned Katara's brother.

"Yeah," Toph said, soft, "I guess I do."

And Katara knew the soft, sweet look on Toph's face. It was something that the girl had never wanted anyone to know, but Katara knew that being in love with someone who didn't love you back was hard.

And Sokka and Suki were going to be at the palace in a fortnight.

"…Toph," Katara said quietly, "you know about…"

"Sokka and Suki?" Toph finished the sentence for her. There was a funny, bitter little smile on her face. "Yeah, I know. Twinkles told me."

Katara didn't ask if she was alright.

She knew it would only hurt Toph more.

But Toph turned her face towards her friend and raised an eyebrow in Katara's direction. "Don't look like that," she instructed. "Your pity makes me wanna vomit."

"Very nice," Katara sighed.

"No, seriously, Sugarqueen. We're in the Fire Nation—and may I remind you that if it was like a year ago, they'd be trying to kill us—and you're hiding in here away from Twinkles. Twinkletoes! Short and bald and Twinkles!" Toph emphasized his name again, for good measure. "Twinkles!"

"Yes, Toph, I got that," Katara made a face. "I just…"

"Dunno what to say to him? Please. You can at least give it to him straight. I mean, we all know you're so not into him it's painful—it's actually awful, even Twinkles can see it, and you know how oblivious he is—but at least have the guts to tell him to his face!" Toph stared at her unblinkingly, hands on her hips, and lips pulled down.

This last for a minute, until Toph grimaced and went "Ew, I sound like you."

That startled a laugh out of Katara. "You do! Getting old, Toph?"

Toph wrinkled her nose. "Not as old as you, Sweetness. Never as old as you."

"Says the girl who refuses to cut her hair," Katara smiled.

"Stick with me, kid," said Toph, and slung an arm around her waist as she smirked. "You'll go places!"

"Somehow, I don't doubt it," Katara said, and smiled a little as she ruffled her fingers through Toph's bangs. "Your hair really is getting out of control, though, you know?"

"It's not like I can see it anyway, Sugarqueen," Toph said impatiently. "Does it really matter?"

"In front of all those Fire nobles, it might," Katara replied, grim.

"Please, those old guys ain't got nothin' on me. I could knock them on their asses without even moving," said Toph.

"I know you could, but…"

"But maybe I shouldn't, yeah, I know how it works, Sweetness. Twinkles's taken me to all sorts 'a meetings, y'know?"

Yes, Katara did know.

Katara knew how those things went very well.

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tbc.