Chapter 11
Morgan had sped quickly back to Alexandria after the attack in the woods and during the ride, Alex slowly felt herself retreat from her body. She was aware of what happened, who she was with, where she was going, but for some reason she didn't care. Her mind and emotions had shut down from the exhaustion of being and for once, she felt she had a reprieve from the many years of hell and torment she had endured. Her eyes focused on the blur of trees outside of the moving vehicle and the sounds surrounding her were hushed as if she was underwater. Daryl shook her, snapped his fingers in front of her face to get some sort of response from her with no success. When they drove through the front gates, he pulled her from the car and ran with her to the clinic, screaming for help as she stared upwards into the sky. She watched as a blue bird flew overhead.
"Daryl, a bird." She spoke softly as she pointed to the sky. He looked at her, realizing that she was in a state of shock, confusion. Daryl felt himself still shaking after the assault in the woods and was growing more terrified of Alex's shut down. He was determined to get her help as he kicked the door to the clinic, desperate for someone to open it.
Denise swung open the door, clearly overwhelmed by the sight of Alex partially clothed, blood soaking the shoulder of her jacket and a fresh bruise across her cheek. "Get her in here!" Denise ordered as she tried to gather herself. Daryl charged inside and spotted a hospital bed against a wall.
The firm mattress Alex lay on in the clinic smelled strongly of bleach and latex. She stared at the white ceiling above her, noticing the smooth paint that covered it and even a small cobweb wedged into a far corner where it met the adjoining wall. She felt distant and detached from the panicked and fast moving people around her. She moved her eyes to the flurry of movement in the room. Denise rushed around, gathering supplies and tossing them on the bed by her feet. The front door swung open and slammed loudly. Rick, Michonne, Glenn and Maggie were now inside, their eyes shooting back and forth between Alex, Daryl and Denise, trying to assess what had happened. She turned to her side and saw Daryl standing beside her, as still and gaunt as a statue against the blurred figures moving around the room. He pulled a sheet over her bare chest to cover her as the room filled. Alex smiled softly at him as he stared back at her with tears in his eyes, realizing how unaware she was due to the shock she was in. The voices grew around her from soft to loud as they pressed Daryl for answers, an explanation for what had happened.
"What happened to her?" Maggie demanded as she moved to Alex's side, moving the sheet down to reveal the bite on her shoulder. She jumped back as she looked at Daryl and then to Rick, fearing she got bit by a walker.
"Wasn't a walker." Daryl said quietly as he pulled the sheet back up. Glenn stepped forward to the bed and noticed her disheveled jeans and looked at Daryl. Glenn remembered what had happened back in Georgia, with Maggie and the Governor, and knew Daryl felt as helpless and angry as he had once felt. When Glenn looked at Maggie, it dawned on her that Alex was assaulted.
"Are they still out there?" Glenn asked Daryl, who wouldn't look up to meet their gaze. He nodded his head yes as he pushed the hair out of Alex's face. Maggie pulled off Alex's boots and set them aside, hoping to bring some type of comfort to her as she lay silent and unmoving on the hospital bed. "Was she raped?" Maggie asked quietly as she organized the supplies on the bed.
Daryl's fists balled up as he thought back to the horrified look on Alex's face as she was pinned against the tree. "She might as well have been." He answered as he plopped down in a metal chair, burying his face into his hands. Rick motioned for Glenn and Maggie to step outside while he questioned Daryl about what happened.
"Daryl, I need to know everything that happened out there, who, where, everything." Rick asked as he pulled up a chair to sit in front of him. Daryl recounted the entire run: the uncharacteristic quietness in the woods, the strip mall, the men with the W's, the entire assault on Alex, everything up until Morgan came upon the scene. Rick shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he looked at Alex who was still staring off into space.
Denise came up to the bed and checked Alex's pulse. She glanced at her watch as she counted and then turned to Daryl and Rick. "Rick, could you step outside and send Maggie in here in about five minutes? I've gotta ask Daryl some questions before I do the exam and need her to assist me since Rosita is on watch." Rick nodded his head to her as he stood and walked out the door, making sure it latched closed behind him. Denise grabbed her clipboard and came to sit in front of Daryl. She felt nervous as she looked over the papers on her clipboard and the details she would have to gather from him. She decided to try to talk to Alex first, to assess her state of mind.
"Alex, can you tell me what happened?" Denise waited as Alex laid quietly on the bed. Daryl began biting his thumb nail anxiously, his adrenaline still pumping through his veins. Alex sat up from the bed slowly, letting the sheet fall down and exposing her bare torso. Daryl jumped to cover her again but was stopped by Denise.
"I need to go ahead and look at the wound." She said as she stepped forward. She looked at the bite mark on Alex's shoulder and pulled a wet cloth from a bowl of clean water. She cleaned her shoulder gently, exposing the teeth marks. They weren't deep enough to leave a scar but definitely enough to cause the bleeding and discomfort. She eyed Daryl curiously as he stood over Alex protectively.
"You sure it wasn't a walker?" Denise asked as she applied antibacterial ointment. Daryl huffed, growing more frustrated. "I fuckin' told ya, some bastard out there did it. She'd be burnin' up with fever by now or dead if it was one and you'd fuckin' know that if you knew what the hell you were doin." Daryl snapped at her as he ripped open a gauze pad and pressed it onto Alex's shoulder. She winced as he applied a little too much pressure than what was needed. Her eyes flickered up to him and he saw that she was coming back to him, coming back to reality. Alex pulled her arms up to cover her chest, still shivering from the shock. Daryl wrapped the sheet tightly around her before sitting back down in the chair next to her, willing himself to calm down, for her sake at least. Denise turned her attention to Alex, who seemed to be coming around a little more now that she was somewhere familiar, somewhere safe.
"Alex, I understand you went through a traumatic experience out there but I do have a few questions for you before I do an examination. Do you feel up to it? I can have Daryl answer them if you'd prefer." Denise bent the corner of the paper back and forth nervously as she watched the woman straighten up on the bed. Alex replayed the entire day over in her head, trying to get it together before she fell apart. She felt humiliated, disgusting, exhausted. She decided to get it done and over with. She nodded her head in agreement towards Denise. Denise straightened up before taking a deep breath.
"Can you tell me when you had your last period?" Denise asked routinely. Alex thought back to when she lost the baby. "I don't know, a year, year and a half? I don't know." She answered nervously. Denise scratched a question mark on the clipboard as she skimmed the other questions. She asked safe, basic questions about her health ranging from allergies to prior diagnoses. She decided to go ahead and get down to it.
"Okay. Umm, when you and Daryl were attacked in the woods, did the man force himself onto you?" Denise's eyes flickered to Daryl who was now rubbing the small of Alex's back.
"Yes." Alex answered as she pulled her legs up to her chest. She flinched as she thought of the smell that permeated from the man that held her against the tree, his dirty fingers and his nails digging into her insides, as if he was pleasured by her pain.
Denise pushed her glasses higher up on her nose, her anxiety rising as she stared at the pitiful woman in front of her. "Were you raped?" Denise asked as professionally and compassionately as she could. Alex pulled the sheet tighter around her.
"No, he just, he put his hands.. he…" She began crying hard as she buried her face into her knees. Alex felt like her emotions were scattered all over the place and all she wanted was to forget the entire day. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep. She turned to Daryl and wiped her eyes as best she could.
"I just want to sleep." She begged. Daryl wrapped his arms around her and turned to Denise.
"Can I take her home?" He asked, feeling helpless as he held Alex tightly against his chest.
"We really should do an exam, just a quick look, make sure there is no injury or possibility of an infection." Denise really wanted to let him take her home, take care of her, but she knew she needed to treat her properly. Daryl looked down at Alex who nodded and laid back on the bed, more tears silently streaming down her cheeks.
"Go ahead and send Maggie in, this will only take a few minutes. I'll come get you when we're finished." Denise pulled more sheets out and laid them on the bed. Daryl looked back at Alex and pulled her hand softly to his lips. "I'll be right outside with Rick. Ain't goin nowhere." She squeezed his hand tightly before letting it go. Keeping her eyes on his as he backed towards the door and closed it behind him. Maggie appeared quickly and went to stand next to Alex, laying her hand on her shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort.
"When you're ready, I'm just going to take a quick look, nothing more." Denise said as she pulled on a latex glove. Alex nodded and cried silently as Maggie helped her slide her jeans down her legs.
Daryl stood outside with Rick in silence, the cool evening air reminding him of the fiery rage built up inside of him. He slammed his fist into the white post on the front porch, frustrated that he still didn't feel any better. Rick moved to put his hands on Daryl's shoulders, hoping to ground him a little so he wouldn't do anything stupid.
"Daryl I need you to try to keep it together, for her at least. We'll find them, make a plan. We can't be stupid about this." Daryl clenched his teeth angrily, knowing Rick was right. He lit a cigarette and stood helplessly against the railing, trying to calm down before having to go back in.
"If I had paid more attention out there, none of this woulda happened." Daryl hissed as he took another drag. Rick rubbed his head, knowing there weren't enough words to help his friend, his brother feel any better.
"It wasn't your fault. We'll find them." Rick watched as Daryl flicked his cigarette over the railing and into the grass.
"When we do, they're dead." Daryl stated as he paced back and forth on the porch. He could hear more crying coming from the clinic and he felt more anger flare up inside of him. Anger at himself, anger at the bastards that did this, and anger at Morgan for stopping him from killing them when he had the chance. His thoughts were interrupted as Rick cleared his throat to speak.
"Bring her to our house tonight, she don't need to be alone. Get her some food, a bath, put her to bed. She's one of us now and she needs to know she's safe." Daryl nodded, grateful that he had Rick as a friend, a brother. They both jumped when Maggie appeared on the front porch.
"She's ok. There were some scratches that were bleeding, from where he.." She trailed off, knowing there was no need to go into further detail. "She'll be ok, Daryl. She just needs to rest for a couple days. Denise wants to know if she can give her some valium or something to help her sleep." Maggie waited for Daryl to answer her.
"Give her anything, as long as she's fine with it."
Maggie nodded her head and turned to go back inside. "You can come back in now."
Daryl followed Maggie inside the clinic to rejoin Alex. Alex looked a little less shaken and more or less herself again. Daryl cautiously sat on the bed next to her and pulled her to him, his arm tightly wrapped around her. He wanted her to feel safe, to feel loved. She shivered at his touch but leaned into him anyway. Denise brought over a small bottle with a few round, blue pills inside.
"Alex take one of these when you get home, after you've had something to eat. Get some rest and if you need anything please come back by. It don't matter how late it is." Daryl took the pills and shoved them in his pocket as Denise put her hand on Alex's shoulder. She gave her a sweatshirt to wear home since she disposed of the bloody jacket she came in with. Daryl pulled the sheet off of Alex and helped her pull the sweatshirt on over her head.
"You ok?" Daryl asked as he smoothed her hair back down. Alex looked at him and he saw her exhausted expression. He couldn't help but feel tremendous guilt over what had happened to her. He knew it could have gotten a lot worse real quick had Morgan not showed up, but when something like this happens to someone, there is no degree of worse. It is all a nightmare.
"I'm ok." She said weakly as she stood up from the table. Alex looked down at her body in the oversized sweater and buttonless jeans. There were still smears of blood underneath her clothes and she felt like she could still feel the man's putrid body pressed against hers. She felt disgusting and embarrassed. "Can you just take me home? I just want to take a shower."
"You're staying at my house tonight. I want you to be with me, is that ok?" Daryl asked her. He knew wherever she wanted to stay, he was going to make sure that he was with her, until she was sound asleep at least. Alex agreed to stay at his house, not wanting to be alone and needing to be away from her apartment at least for the night. Maggie pulled a brown paper bag out and filled it with bandages and ointment and handed it to Daryl before they walked out of the clinic to meet Rick, and walk to the house.
Alex stood upstairs in the bathroom of Daryl's house and pulled her clothes off. She looked at her body in the mirror and felt like she was looking at her old self in her old home in Georgia. She leaned into the mirror and looked at her busted lip and let her eyes trail down to the small bandage on her shoulder. She pulled it off and looked over the angry teeth marks that were clearly visible. She felt her hands ball into fists before she heard a small knock on the door. Daryl opened it a crack and peeked in and saw Alex standing naked and quickly closed it, knowing that she probably wanted her privacy. She pulled the door back open and let Daryl enter. His arms were full of towels and some of his own night clothes that he had found for her, just an old tshirt and sleep pants. He laid them out carefully on the sink for her and tried to avert his eyes from her naked body.
"Daryl?" She called his name softly and pulled his arm so he would turn around and look at her. "Please don't stop looking at me." She leaned into his chest and relaxed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He rubbed her back and felt little scratches up and down her spine from where she was pinned tightly against the tree. "I'm sorry." He said as he pulled away from her and turned the shower on. He adjusted the knobs on the shower wall until he felt it was a comfortable enough temperature for her.
"Just stop. It's not your fault. I just want to forget about it." Alex said as she walked up to the shower. She stepped into the shower and winced as the warm water hit her wounds. She kept still under the spray until the pain receded and looked through the glass shower door at Daryl. He watched her as the water drenched her and the blood and dirt washed down into the drain. He wanted her to forget about what happened, to be ok, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to so easily. He had to find those men and when he took care of them, then he could start to forget about what happened. He left the bathroom and closed the door behind him and rushed to his room. He kicked the dirty clothes into the corner and straightened up the sheets on the bed, hoping to give her a decent place to sleep tonight. He retrieved the bottle of pills from his pocket and pulled two out. He laid one on the nightstand and walked to the kitchen with the other. He searched through the cabinets until he found a can of chicken noodle soup to heat for her. He poured it into a pot and turned the stove to high. He pulled the pill out and crushed it against the counter and sprinkled it into the broth. He wanted to make sure she slept, and to sleep long and hard enough to not notice that he was gone after she drifted off.
"Secret ingredient?" Michonne asked as she walked into the kitchen. She watched Daryl the entire time in the kitchen without him knowing and had a pretty good idea of what he was planning.
"Have to go out there tonight, before them bastards get away. Left 'em tied up out there. Don't want Alex to know I'm going." Daryl stated as he poured the hot soup into a bowl and stirred it to insure that the crushed pill dissolved thoroughly. "Ya gonna tell Rick?" He asked quietly. Michonne leaned against the counter and pulled a glass from the cabinet. She found a half full bottle of wine and filled the glass and slid it towards Daryl.
"Don't be stupid out there. Get there, do what needs to be done, and get back. I'll watch her while you're gone." She said sternly. Daryl nodded gratefully, and made his way back up the stairs, balancing the food.
When he walked into his room he saw Alex sitting on his bed wrapped in a towel, her long hair still dripping with water. He sat the bowl and glass down on the night stand and sat next to her. The bite mark had stopped bleeding and she was no longer shivering. He pulled her hand into his lap and let his thumb run back and forth over her smooth skin. Alex leaned into him, enjoying the silence in the room. She felt like she was at home. Not like her home in Georgia, or her apartment down the street, but that he was her home. Her safe place. Daryl stood from the bed and retrieved his pajamas from the bathroom and returned to Alex in his room. He laid them next to her and gave her the pill sitting on the bedside table.
"Take this and eat. You can rest now." He began carefully smoothing the ointment Maggie had given him onto her shoulder when she grabbed his hand to get his attention.
"Will you stay in here with me tonight?" She asked. She looked up at him pleadingly, not wanting him to be far from her. He saw the sadness and waves of insecurities pass over her green eyes. He pulled the sheets down and kicked his shoes off and sat at the top of the bed with his feet propped up.
"If it's alright with you, I ain't plannin' on spendin' another night away from you." He kept his eyes locked on hers and hoped she understood his intentions. She stood up and lifted the large shirt over her head and let it fall down over the towel that was still wrapped around her body. She shimmied the loose pajama pants up her thighs and pulled the towel out from beneath her now clothed body. Daryl felt a bit of guilt as he watched her get dressed in such an odd way, as if she was trying to keep modest from him after all the shit he said to her in the woods. All the mistakes he had made. He moved to crack a window in the bedroom and felt a rush of cool air come through. It was getting dark, but not dark enough to make his way over the wall. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, letting the smoke seep out the window and be pulled away by the breeze.
"Alex?" She turned to face him and sat back down on the bed. He scooted closer to her and ran his fingers through her hair. He softly kissed her lips and pressed his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes to see them glossed over with tears and fatigue. "Forget everything I said out there. I love you and I ain't goin' nowhere." He brushed the tears from her eyes and moved to the other side of the bed. He grabbed the pill and gave it to her. She tossed the pill in her mouth and took a few gulps of the wine he had sat down next to it. Daryl's eyes shifted to the window and saw the sky had finally turned black and realized everyone would be changing shifts on watch soon. He picked up the bowl of soup and handed it to Alex.
"Need ta eat with the pill." He said as he sat back at the edge of the bed. Alex didn't feel like eating. Her stomach was still in knots over the trauma of the day and she sat it back down on the bedside table. Daryl pretended not to care and turned around so he could look at her, maybe talk to her a bit so she could relax enough to get an appetite. He couldn't help but enjoy the sight of her in his bed, wearing his clothes and how badly he wished those clothes were on the floor with them both under the covers together and quickly pushed the thought from his mind. Not now, not after what she had gone through. If he had only been paying attention…
"Ya really need to eat somethin'." He said. Alex turned her head to him and then back to the bowl still sitting in front of her on the bedside table. She didn't want to eat. Her stomach was still in knots after the trauma she had experienced. "Please." Daryl pleaded. She felt bad after all of the trouble he had went through to take care of her and she picked up the soup. She took a few large bites and willed herself to swallow each one. She sat the bowl back down and noticed the pleased look on Daryl's face. Alex finished off the glass of wine and wiped her mouth with the back of hand.
"Can I have a cigarette?" She asked. He pointed to the pack that he had tossed on the night stand as he scooted over to make some room for her by the window.
"Ya don't need to ask for anything of mine." He said as he lit the cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She inhaled the smoke deeply and when she exhaled she watched the smoke trail out the window. She centered her thoughts and her emotions. It was time now. It was time for her to lay it all out for Daryl about her past.
"I had a baby out there." She said as she motioned outwards with her cigarette, beyond the wall. Daryl turned towards her shocked and then reeled it back in, letting her finish what she had to say. She took another drag of the cigarette before she continued. "It was my ex husband's. I didn't know I was pregnant until I had been out there a while. I was with a group. A couple had lost their child, planned to kill me and take my baby. We got into a big fight. They were the first people I had ever killed." She flicked the ashes off the cigarette out the window and continued. "I was real banged up. I had the baby in the woods,but she was stillborn. I held her for a long time before I buried her." She looked out at the dark town and looked down at her hands. She noticed that she was not shaking and that she felt at ease with revealing this to Daryl. Daryl brushed a few tears from his eyes, heartbroken at Alex's words. "You asked me why I couldn't have kids this morning. I haven't bled since, ad that's how I know." She extinguished the cigarette in an ash tray and closed the window. Alex finally felt free, like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. When she turned around she was crushed by Daryl's embrace. He felt her body relax into his and he hurt, knowing she hurt. Her pain was now his pain. He didn't want her to carry anything on her own again. Alex felt her body beginning to grow more tired and her head was starting to swim the longer she stood. She flopped down on the bed and didn't hesitate when Daryl helped her lay back into the pillows. Her vision seemed to fade a bit as the pills took effect but she could still see Daryl hovering over her. He looked out the window once more, towards the wall. He wanted to stay with her and hold her as she slept but he knew he had to go out there, while there was still a chance to kill those men. He sat on the bed and ran his fingers through her hair as he looked out the window at the dark sky. They would be changing shifts soon. He decided to say what was in his heart, hoping that she would still remember through the drug induced fog.
"She didn't die unloved. I love you and I love her. I want ya to know, she didn't die without a dad. I'll protect you and take care of you. I…" He felt more tears form in his eyes and he wiped them away quickly with the back of his hand. He didn't hear her respond and turned to see that she was fast asleep. Daryl shook her lightly and received no response. The drugs did their job and she would be out cold for several hours. He pulled the blankets securely over her and kissed her softly on the lips, careful not to disturb her. Daryl gathered his shoes from the floor, tip toed across the room and turned the lights out as he closed the door behind him. Michonne was standing against the wall in the hallway, wiping the tears from her cheeks after hearing of Alex's loss, and all that she had gone through. Hearing this part of Alex's past reminded her of her own son. She handed Daryl his bow and nodded her head. He had to go now.
Daryl kept to the perimeter of the high walls of Alexandria and found the darkest section. He waited until he heard no voices and scaled the wall, landing quietly on the other side. Daryl was careful to be quiet and remain out of sight as he walked through the abandoned homes and buildings that surrounded the community, in case he was mistaken for a walker or a trespasser. When he had the chance he darted into the woods, keeping track of the moon's position so he knew around what time it was. He intended on finishing what those assholes started and get back home to Alex before she woke up, hopefully never finding out that he had left.
Daryl carefully navigated through the woods, taking out a couple walkers as he ran through the thick terrain. He finally picked up the same path that he and Alex had taken earlier that day and followed it until he heard the soft water babbling in the nearby creek. He prayed that walkers has gotten to them, torn them to shreds, or even better, that they were still there and tied to a tree so that he could take out his own revenge on them. For Alex. Daryl stumbled upon the creek and crossed it quickly, holding his bow above his head so that it wouldn't get wet. He finally came upon the tree and pulled a flash light from his belt. When he turned it on and held it up, his heart immediately sank.
They were gone.
Alex's torn clothes were still laying on the ground and the rope lay in pieces around the tree. Daryl searched the ground for footprints left behind and saw that there were many footprints leading in numerous directions. Too many for him to be able to track down. There was nothing he could do but go back to Alexandria. Daryl's grip on his bow loosened and it dropped to the ground with a thud as he stood helplessly in the middle of the woods. Alone.
A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I will be updating very soon. Please leave a review and follow this story if you haven't already. I really appreciate and enjoy the feedback so please don't be shy to post a review! Keeps your eyes open for an update! Much love, A.