Can I Stay By Your Side?

In the past six months, I've grown an unusual interest towards sports manga or anime. It started with "Haikyuu" and now, I'm watching "Yowamushi Pedal". For a non-sportsman like myself, I am very captivated by the passion and determination these characters show in every episode.

It would be nice if Yamamoto Takeshi was able to live his baseball dream in a real sports manga instead of a gag one.

Chapter 11 – One Step At A Time

I stood in front of Namimori Middle School, clutching my satchel closer to myself. It will be okay, I told myself. The first day of school after the holidays went by without incident. Maybe they have forgotten.

Maybe.

I resisted a shudder as I thought of how the nasty incidents kept coming up in the month before school stopped for the Christmas and New Year holidays. The missing indoor shoes, the vandalism on my classroom desk and even the blatant push down the staircase... I was not sure if I was ready to face them all again.

"Hmm? Isn't that Sana?" I heard someone behind me call out.

I turned out and saw Sasagawa Kyoko and Kurokawa Hana walking towards me. I beamed at the sight of my new friends. The last time that I met them was before the new year, when Kyoko invited Hana, Yoshiko and I to her house for a sleepover. It was the first time that I was invited to a sleepover and I was really excited when my mother allowed me to go.

The four of us spent the night talking about our days in our separate elementary schools, and how different things were now that we are in middle school. We also spoke about our classes and our classmates. As I had expected, our conversation led to the three most prominent figures in Class 1-A - Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto.

Naturally, Kyoko and Hana came to find out about my major crush on their classmate. "No way!" laughed Hana upon hearing my miserable attempts to hint of my feelings to Yamamoto. "That guy is a block of wood! What on earth do you see in him?"

"Hana!" Kyoko gasped. "Don't be so mean! Sana is very sincere about her feelings!" She turned to me and held my hand firmly. "Yamamoto-kun is a nice guy, so I'm not surprised that you like him!" she assured me. "I wish you all the best!"

Embarrassed that all the attention was suddenly on me, I quickly turned to Yoshiko. "What about Yoshiko? She likes Gokudera-kun but no one is making fun of her!" I retorted quickly.

To my disappointment, instead of being embarrassed, Yoshiko laughed. "I do like him! But unlike you, my feelings remain as an adoration, like that of a fangirl. Yours however…" she grinned. "Is much more exciting!"

"Yoshiko!" I exclaimed, feeling my face burn hotter by the minute. I buried my face in a pillow. "Stop talking about me already!"

"Aww, Sana's shy!"

I groaned and faced the two girls. "What about Kyoko and Hana?" I asked, desperate for someone to steer the conversation away from me. "Do you have anyone that you like right now?"

Hana spoke first. "All the boys in our school look like monkeys," she groaned. "They are practically babies. The other day, some of the boys in our class thought that it would fun to hide Tsuna's uniform after Physical Education class." She sighed.

I grimaced at the thought of Sawada Tsuna, running around the locker room, looking for his uniform.

"Did he find it in the end, though?" asked Yoshiko.

Hana nodded. "I cannot understand what they are thinking. Boys in middle school are just not mature enough." She cupped her face with her hands. "I think a more mature man would be a better choice," she sighed dreamily. "He's got to be at least in high school or something."

Instantly, I thought of my brother, Soma. I shook my head. I can barely imagine him being someone mature enough for Hana. He IS still behaving like a monkey. I giggled. "Believe it or not, Hana." I grinned. "I actually understand what you are talking about."

Yoshiko faced Kyoko and gestured excitedly. "What about you, Kyoko?"

"Eh?" Kyoko's innocent-looking face blinked. "I don't really have a crush on anyone now!" she laughed good-naturedly. "I'm friends with everyone!"

"But you are really popular," I said. Just before the school took a break for the holidays, there was a second-year senpai who called out Kyoko during lunch time and confessed his love to her. Not surprisingly, Kyoko rejected him. According to Yoshiko, Kyoko was really gentle and friendly, but her response was so brutally honest that the second-year senpai could not have hoped to press on in his pursuit. "I heard you've really left that second-year senpai in pieces," I said.

"Are you talking about Watanabe-senpai?" asked Kyoko innocently. "Did I do that?"

"No, you didn't," replied Hana, patting Kyoko's hair. "You were just being yourself; it was just…" she sighed. From Hana's response, I could tell that it was not the first time they had this conversation. "Don't worry, Kyoko. Just be yourself. Anyway," Hana added, turning to Yoshiko and I. "You should see how crazy her popularity gets sometimes. Especially with that no-good Tsuna; he cannot keep his eyes off her in class!"

"Hana!" Kyoko pouted and placed her hands akimbo. "Stop saying things that are not true!" she insisted. "Tsuna and I are just friends!"

As I watched Yoshiko and Hana groan in exasperation, I smiled to myself. Yamamoto Takeshi was not the only one who was clueless about things like that. Poor Sawada-kun, I thought. I totally understand how you feel; if only you knew that!

My thoughts were interrupted when Hana smacked me lightly on the back. "I heard that you and Yamamoto-kun went to hatsumoude together," she said. "Nice job!" She gave me a grin and a thumbs up.

I flushed at her words. "How- How did you know about that?" I exclaimed. "And… And it wasn't just the two of us! Our families were there! In fact, it was more of my father's idea..." I covered my face in embarrassment.

"Yamamoto-kun told us about it a few days ago," Kyoko answered my question. "All of us met up just a few days ago."

"Did he... did he say anything else?" I asked timidly. My thoughts led me to recall the day that we went for hatsumoude. I could still remember the warmth of his hand as he led me through the crowd in the Namimori shrine, the warm gloves that he lent me and things that Yamamoto said...

"I'm lucky to know people who care for me. Tsuna is one of them. You are another."

"I hoped that at least once, I played well enough for you to notice me among the senpai."

"You will be by my side, won't you?"

My heart skipped a beat at the thought of our intimate conversation. Days after hatsumoude, the conversation kept playing in my mind on an endless loop. I could not bear to forget how sincere he was in his words. I have not seen Yamamoto since school started; I was not sure if I was ready to see him yet. I am afraid that if I were to see him, I would be so conscious of myself to even say hi.

"Well, it was hard to have a proper conversation because there were so many people," Kyoko was speaking again, breaking me out of my thoughts. "But the games were really fun!"

I wanted to ask her if the games were as sensational as the stories Yamamoto told, but I was scared. The worse thing was that I was not even sure what exactly I was afraid to hear.

"I was really surprised to hear that the two of you went out during hatsumoude," said Kyoko. "I didn't know that you were so close!"

My eyes widened and I waved my hands at her in embarrassment. "We are just… friends…" I looked away shyly.

"Nevertheless, I'm happy." Kyoko took my hands and smiled. "You know what they say, one step at a time!"

"Anyway, how are you?" asked Hana. "Any bullying incidents yesterday?"

I shook my head quickly. "No. I'm hoping that it would stay that way and that they would leave me alone soon."

"Well, you know, you should find out who they are." Hana patted my shoulder. "Then give them a punch or something." She emphasised her point with an uppercut into the air. "Just fight back!"

"Hana!" gasped Kyoko, covering her mouth with her hands.

We giggled unanimously. Just then, we arrived at the shoe lockers. I stood in front of my locker and took a deep breath. Then, I took a step back, just in case something nasty spilled out of my shoe locker, and swung the door open hesitantly.

My indoor shoes sat inside quietly. There was nothing else.

I drew a deep sigh of relief and gave Kyoko and Hana a thumbs up. Even though my belongings seem to be safe for now, I had better not let my guard down.

For two weeks, there was not a single sign of bullying.

It was really strange to go to school for two weeks without incident. Even our parent participation day, a day where parents visit our school to watch our lessons, went by smoothly. I went to school, expecting my textbooks to go missing, or to have my indoor shoes be replaced with slippers or something. However, I guess even those bullies knew better than to strike on a day when parents and teachers were extra alert for misbehaviour. At the end of two weeks, I had almost thought that the group of people, whoever they are, had given up on me.

Nevertheless, I made a conscious effort not to run into Yamamoto during school hours. It was a different story after school, of course.

"Check it out!" I said with a grin. From within my bag, I brandished out an old baseball. "This was my old baseball from elementary school." I tossed it up and caught it again. "I'd thought we could teach Musuke how to play fetch."

Yamamoto's eyes lit up at the idea and immediately started walking around the vicinity looking for the stray Akita.

When Musuke appeared, I tossed the ball up and down, then bounced it against the ground. The dog watched the ball with keen eyes. "Fetch!" I shouted, throwing the baseball a small distance away from me. Musuke scrambled after it, gnawing and biting the ball when it caught it. "Come on," I urged, my hand beckoning. "Give it back."

It took many tries, but eventually, Musuke and I made good progress. I made extra effort not to throw the baseball too far away from me. Musuke was able to chase and pick up the ball, but it might or might not return it to me. If I threw my baseball too hard, Musuke might run after it and not return the ball to us. Then I might not be able to find it again.

Within the hour, Musuke was able to, at least, allow me to pry the ball off its jaws. I rubbed its head affectionately. It had taken my dog, Chisuke, weeks to understand my hand gestures, but Musuke was keen and quick to react.

"Musuke is a lot smarter than Chisuke, that's for sure," I laughed.

Yamamoto, who had been politely and patiently waiting for his turn, could not hold it in any longer. "Let me try!" he said, beckoning me to throw the ball at him.

I tossed the ball at him without much thought. The holidays have trained us both to toss and catch in synchronisation. With Yamamoto, I did not have to worry too much about things like strength or speed. Unlike my classmates, Yamamoto has incredible hand-eye coordination and would be able to catch any kind of pitch that I threw.

He caught the ball neatly with one hand. "Nice toss!" He grinned.

I beamed in response. Before I could respond, his gaze sharpened and he returned the toss back at me at a high speed. "Whoa!" I yelled, leaning sideways and catching the ball with both hands. My hands burned at the impact of the baseball landing on my palms. "What are you doing?" I shouted as I threw the ball at him. Meanwhile, Musuke has been highly amused at our tosses and was barking and jumping excitedly, snapping at our hands to get the baseball. "You were supposed to throw it for Musuke, not me!" I reminded him hotly.

"Ah! My bad," apologised Yamamoto with a hearty laugh. "I got so excited catching the ball that I wanted to throw it back!"

I sighed. "But it was fun," I assured him with a smile. "I missed tossing and batting during the holidays." Upon seeing his eyes light up, I quickly defended myself before he got weird ideas. "That does not mean that I'm going to practise baseball with you!" I shook my hands at him vigorously. "You've got Soma and your baseball club to practise with you!"

"But..." He scratched his head. "But right now, you are the one that I spend the most time with, apart from Tsuna and Gokudera."

"Eh?" I stared at him in disbelief. "No way!"

"It's true," he said with a nod. "The baseball club has left me out of the school team, so right now, I'm joining the club members for weekly trainings."

Yamamoto-kun... I pursed my lips thoughtfully. So he's not selected for the school team this year... "I'm... I'm sorry to hear that."

"Hmm? It's not your fault, Tanaka-san," he answered with a wide smile. "I was the one who gave myself the fracture. Besides..." he tossed my baseball up and caught it. "I have plans of my own."

"Plans?"

He nodded. "There's still six to seven months before the middle school tournament in August. I am not going to accept my rejection so easily. That is why from here on, I'm going to keep improving," he gripped the baseball tightly. "I'm not going to give up and I'll keep asking the senpai for tryouts until they accept me into the school team!"

I watched him with awe. This guy, I thought, with admiration filling in my heart. He just would not give up.

"Alright, Musuke," he grinned at the dog which has been prancing around him impatiently. "I'll show you what a good pitch is!" His gaze sharpened and with a yell, he threw the ball. Musuke immediately gave chase, dashing out of the pavillion at full speed.

My jaw dropped as I watched the ball fly farther than I had ever seen. "My ball..." I mumbled. I nudged Yamamoto. "You DO know that Musuke isn't going to get that ball back, don't you?"

He blinked. "He won't?" He asked innocently. I sighed and explained to him why I had to throw short distances to prevent Musuke from running off with the ball. His stunned expression at the end of my explanation made me feel bad for laying it on him so frankly. "I… I didn't know!" He laughed nervously. "I'd always forget myself when I throw the ball. I didn't think that… I'm really sorry!"

I sighed. "No, it's also my fault. I should have told you not to throw so hard." I looked away. It was my baseball from elementary school. It was one of the first few baseballs that my father had bought for me, shortly after I entered my elementary school baseball team. I no longer played baseball, but that baseball reminded me of my happy days out in the baseball pitch.

"Tanaka-san, wasn't that a baseball from your elementary school?" Asked Yamamoto. "I just threw it away!" He stood at attention in front of me and clapped his hands together. "Please allow me to make it up for you!" he said loudly. "I'll buy you a new one!"

I shook my hands at him. "It's really okay..." I chuckled nervously. "It was an old baseball..."

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm sure it contained a lot of memories for you. Buying a new ball may not be able to replace your old one but..." he trailed off. I could sense his guilt in his voice and the gradual slump in his posture.

I smiled at his sincerity. "I don't play baseball anymore, so it's really not a big thing. That was partly why I thought of using it as a ball for Musuke."

I just didn't think I'd lose it so quickly. I thought to myself, though I could not bear to tell Yamamoto that.

He sighed and scratched his head in frustration. "I'm really sorry."

"It's all-"

"Tanaka-san," he leaned towards me. This time, I resisted leaning backwards, though my face burned as I stared back at his handsome face. "If there's anything I can do to make it up to you... tell me!"

My heart beat faster at his words. Anything? I wanted to ask. There was so much that I wanted of him, but none of them would matter if he did not understand my feelings. I smiled sadly to myself. There was no way he could give me what I wanted. I am not ready to be rejected. I may be his closest female friend, but I am not dumb enough to think that there was a chance of being... being together with him.

Right now, my wish is that I can stay by his side, even just as a friend. He has already assured me that I am his friend. There's nothing much more that I want. Maybe more time to spend with him, I mused to myself. I'll never be sick and tired of being around him.

Then…

"One step at a time!" I could hear Kyoko's cheerful voice in my head, encouraging me to believe in myself; possibly, in Yamamoto too.

I gulped. "If you really want to..." I murmured.

"Hmm?" He tilted his head.

"Would... would you mind..." I stammered. My mind reeled at my audacity of voicing out my thoughts, but my heart urged me on. Focus, Sana! I chided myself. Be brave and just say it! "Would you mind if we go to CapybaLand together someday?" I exclaimed with a surge of confidence; or was it foolishness? I knew not.

I peeked at him to see his response. He blinked at me. "CapybaLand?" He tilted his head at me again. "Sure but... why?" He scratched his head. His confused expression was simply adorable but I looked away so that my blush would not be so obvious. "I don't think you can find another baseball for Musuke in CapybaLand, though."

It was my turn to blink at him in confusion. Finally, I giggled. "I didn't think about that, but really, Yamamoto-kun, all you think about is baseball!" He chuckled with me, giving me the boost in confidence I needed. "Actually, we've been hanging out here with Musuke and talking about baseball." I folded my arms and pouted a little. "You know that I'm not playing baseball anymore; it's not fair that I keep doing baseball stuff with you. So I guess you should come and do something non-baseball with me."

My heart pounded as I waited for his reaction. Fear of rejection getting the better of me, I quickly added before he could respond, "Of course, there are some shops right outside CapybaLand. Let's also go walk around and look for a ball for Musuke, something not as hard as a brand new baseball though. Maybe something soft but bouncy…"

While I was rambling on, Yamamoto nodded. "You are right. Let's do something different for a change," he spoke over my words.

I paused mid-sentence; I could hardly believe my ears. "... Really?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course!" He grinned. "I've never been to CapybaLand before. Isn't that a newly opened amusement park or something?"

"Y- Yeah!" I answered. "The mascots are all capybaras!" My excitement grew a little more with each sentence. "I saw the advertisement on television the other day; the capybaras are so adorable!"

Yamamoto grinned. "Sounds like fun! It's settled then, let's go enjoy ourselves as soon as we can decide on a date."

I blushed at his words, realising what it all meant. I could barely focus on what he was talking about after that. No matter what our outing really is, it really looks like... like a... d... d... d...

"DATE?!" exclaimed Yoshiko.

"Shhhh!" I frantically covered her mouth before she could exclaim any louder. "It's not a date!" I hissed. I glanced around the corridor we were in. Thankfully, most of our classmates were in the changing room, getting ready for our physical education class. It seemed that our conversation was not overheard.

Yoshiko gave a low whistle as she gave me the glance-over. "Look who's become so daring!" she teased with a push of her glasses.

I flushed. "Please don't," I pleaded, covering my face with my hands. "You are making me more nervous than I really am!"

"Who would've thought that you would take Kyoko's word for it and really take the initiative?"

"I…" I said with a sigh. "You're right."

"I knew it!" declared Yoshiko with a grin.

I did not continue the conversation until we were back in our seats in class. "I was giving it my best shot, but I'm aware that it's not like that between us." I fiddled with my mechanical pencil and gave it a few spins. "Just because we hang out more than usual, it does not push us towards romance. I'm very aware that we are just friends," I said firmly.

Yoshiko squeezed my arm a little. "I'm sorry that I can't encourage you more than this," she said seriously.

I nodded. "I appreciate that you don't feed my ego and fantasies."

"As much as I like the typical romance scenes in comics," she said. "I want to be frank with you and say that it's not like that in real life." She pulled back with a smile. "However… if I feel that something's different, I'll be sure to tell you!"

"Thanks!" I giggled.

"Kyoko is right, however." She folded her arms. "'One step at time' is the best encouragement anyone can give you."

"Class, stand!" Oka, our class monitor, announced as our teacher, Mr. Maeno, walked into the classroom. After our greetings, we sat and awaited his instructions.

"Now, we have been doing some volleyball for the last few weeks," explained Mr. Maeno. "It's time to put those skills into good use." The class started to buzz with excitement. "Class 1-C will be combining their physical education lessons with Class 1-A today. We will have a mini inter-class game."

The class whooped in ecstasy, including Yoshiko and I. "We get to enjoy lessons with Kyoko and Hana!" I said excitedly.

Yoshiko smirked. "And you get to see your Yamamoto-kun."

"Yoshiko, really! Stop!"

Thank you for reading. As usual, you can catch my mutterings on my blog. The URL is found on my author's page.

A big thanks to all those have faved and followed my story. Here are the review replies!

Marie Yoshina: Hi there! I'm so glad to find an "old" reader, that is, you were reading my story before my long hiatus. I may have mentioned somewhere in the story that she will not be a part of the Vongola family; neither will she be a guardian. That's all I'm going to reveal so you'll just have to wait around and see what happens next.

ahyeon: Thank you for your support! I had a great time writing this chapter despite the challenges I faced. Hope you will enjoy this chapter too!